Forbidden Love

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard, not making any money, just cheap thrills


Warning: Slash, Established Couple, Angst, References to Violence


Rating: FRAO

Forbidden Love
Chapter 8


Sitting down on the couch, Bo pulled Rosco down beside him. He was glad to see Daisy was here, the smile of support she sent their way helped more than she'd ever know. Though even Daisy's support wasn't enough when he saw the looks of discomfort on Luke's and Uncle Jesse's faces. Taking a deep breath, he tried to relax as he waited for somebody to speak. Bo couldn't help thinking this must be what a condemned man felt like on his way to the gallows.


"Bo honey, are ya okay?" Daisy asked, breaking the oppressive silence and warming the room with her smile.


"Yeah Daisy, I'm.... No, that's a lie, I ain't okay and haven't been since Uncle Jesse held a shotgun on me, threatening to kill me. You've always acted like folks have the right to live their lives the way they see fit Uncle Jesse. You told us that it's up to God to decide who's right and who's wrong, so I want to know how come you decided that there's different rules for me? Why did you do that Uncle Jesse?" Bo asked, his voice tight with the anger he was trying to keep a lid on.


"Bo son, I'm so sorry for what I did to you, hitting you and threatening you. Not only didn't I have the right to do that, turning on my family is about the worst thing I could ever do. I doubt I can ever make that up to you, but if you'll listen, maybe I can at least help you understand. First of all Bo, you need to know I don't hate you. I love you sprout, I could never hate any of you kids, no matter what."


"Don't lie to me Uncle Jesse, please. I saw the hate on your face when you hit me, heard it in your voice when you said you'd kill me. If you think there's something that will help me understand why you did all of that, I'll listen. But don't sit there and tell me you don't hate me, not after what you did." Bo interrrupted his uncle, Rosco's hand on his the only thing keeping him from walking out the door and never looking back.


"I'm not lying to you Bo, but I can understand why you think I am. Bo when I was a boy, about ten years old, a neighbor man... he molested me. He didn't get a chance to do much, just touch me, but that was enough to scare me half to death. I ran home just as fast I could and when I got there I went straight to my father. I've never seen my father so angry Bo, neither before or since that day. After I told him what that man had done, he left me standing there in the barn. It was hours later that he came home, I saw my uncles drop him off. I never did find out what they did, but Mr. Simmons moved away that night and we never saw him again. When daddy came in the house, he grabbed my arm and took me out to the woodshed. I got the worst whipping of my life that night, daddy told me that men like Simmons would burn in hell and that if I ever let one touch me like that again, so would I. Bo, when you said you love Rosco...all I could hear was my father's voice and I was terrified at the thought of you going to hell for sinning. The only thing I ain't sure about is if I was more upset at the idea of you being with a man, or if somehow I thought you would become a man like Simmons. I know you wouldn't never hurt nobody Bo, but right that minute I wasn't thinking straight. I'm so sorry...I don't think I'll ever be able to find the words to tell you just how sorry I am," Jesse forced himself to look Bo in the eye, while he waited for his reaction.


Bo stared at his uncle in shock, jumping to his feet, he raced for the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet, Bo didn't even turn his head when he heard the door open behind him. A few seconds later, a gentle hand began to wipe his face with a wet cloth. The cloth was taken away and Bo felt a glass being pressed into his hand. Rinsing his mouth, he finally turned to the man who now sat on the edge of the tub, watching him with concern. "Thanks Rosco, sorry I ran out like that."


"You don't need to apologize Bo, I'm sure everybody understands. If they don't, well, frankly I don't give a damn." Rosco grinned at the chuckle that earned him.

"Guess we better get back out there," Bo suggested, but making no move to get up.


"No hurry, you take as long as you need, they can wait," Rosco assured him.





"He'll be okay Uncle Jesse," Luke told his uncle, trying to ease the worry he saw on the older man's face.


"I shouldn't have told him like that, you know he's always felt things more deeply than any of us. I should've realized the effect it would probably have on him, I could've been more gentle about it."


"Now Uncle Jesse, you know as well as we do, there isn't any gentle way to tell a story like that. You know too that Luke's right, Bo'll be okay." Daisy added her own assurances to those of her older cousin.


"They're right Uncle Jesse. Sorry I ran out like that, it's just, well..." Bo trailed off, not really sure how to continue.


"Maybe we could all sit back down, we still got a lot to talk about," Rosco suggested, gently guiding Bo towards the couch.


"I'm glad you told me about that Uncle Jesse, sorry you had to go through something like that, but it does help me understand. It doesn't change the fact though, that you don't approve of me, or my relationship with Rosco. Don't try to deny it, you either Luke, I could see the way y'all were looking at us when we sat down here together."


"Bo, I don't know what you thought you saw, but I promise you it's not disapproval. Not exactly anyway, more like we're confused," Luke told him.


"What exactly is it that confuses you Luke?" Bo asked.


"All of it I guess, I mean I had no idea you were gay, when did that start? And why Rosco, of all people?"


"That what's bothering you too Uncle Jesse, besides the stuff with your dad?" Bo asked, before answering Luke, wanting to get all the cards on the table.


"Yeah, it is Bo. Don't misunderstand us sprout, we ain't judging you, we're just trying to understand."


"Well for starters, I'm not gay. Like I told Daisy, I like men and women, of course I've got more experience with women. As for Rosco...one thing y'all need to know is, he ain't the man you think he is. Rosco ain't really crooked, he's been pretending all these years." Seeing their looks of doubt, Bo suspected they thought he was letting his feelings cloud his judgement. "Didn't y'all ever wonder how he went from being one of the best sheriffs in the state to being a complete idiot? Sorry cowboy."


"It's alright sweetheart, that's what I'm supposed to look like," Rosco gave his hand a light squeeze, showing him there were no hard feelings.


"He only went to working for Boss cause of his pension getting defeated. The thing is once he did, he found out that he couldn't take the lies and scheming, or the way Boss is always trying to put us in jail. So, and y'all can't tell anybody this. Rosco's been keeping track of all of the schemes and if he has to, he'll go to the State Police and turn Boss in himself. He's got enough evidence collected, that he could send the man to prison for the rest of his life. Think about it Luke, don't you think Rosco would figure out to move the keys after the first time we managed to hook them? Or to never put us in the same cell?"


"That true Rosco?" Jesse and Luke both demanded.


"Yeah it's true, and things are gonna change too. After what happened to Bo, I can't take the risk anymore, I won't take the risk. As soon as we get things settled between us, I plan to tell Boss that I ain't working for him no more. I don't plan to let him keep running this county the way he's been doing either."


"Well that explains some of it, but it still doesn't explain, no offense Rosco but you're a lot older than Bo. How did you end up with him, Bo? Couldn't you have found somebody closer to your own age?" Luke asked, for the life of him he just couldn't see the attraction, even if he had been into men.

"It didn't happen overnight Luke, started out as friendship. A few months after that mess with Diane, I got a letter from her. She told me about her new stunt driver, how great he was. She wanted me to know they were getting married, well up 'til then I thought I was over her. I suppose I was, guess it was my pride that was hurt more than anything, but at the time I didn't see that. Uncle Jesse, I went and seen your friend Sunshine, got a jug from him and went somewhere to be alone. A little while after I got there, Rosco showed up. My heart about stopped when I seen him walk through the door, figured I was about to go to prison, worst of all I'd be taking Luke with me."


"WHAT? How could you take that kind of risk Bo? How could you be so foolish?"


"Calm down Uncle Jesse, ain't no point in getting upset now, obviously Rosco didn't do anything. I'm just wondering why he didn't?" Luke asked, turning back to the two men on the couch.


"Well Luke, truth is I wasn't there looking for Bo. I was there planning to drown my own sorrows, when Bo's talking about was just a few months after my so-called marriage. When I saw Bo there, saw the bottle and the look on his face I realized he was there for the same reason. I offered to leave, go somewhere else, but he said that there was plenty of room, if I didn't mind drinking with a Duke. We sat there together and got fairly well drunk, cried on each other's shoulders you could say."


"Rosco told me the truth about his working with Boss that night, that started our friendship. That's all it was too, for a long time, just friendship. Then two years ago, Rosco caught me up there drinking again, by the time he got there I was pretty drunk. If I hadn't been, probably nothing would've happened, but I was and I ended up telling Rosco everything. I sure was surprised when I found out that Rosco had some experience of his own with men. Well one thing led to another and when I woke up the next morning Rosco was lying beside me."


"Wait a minute, what did you mean you told him everything? I don't understand," Luke said, feeling like he was missing something.


Bo glanced at Rosco, "I don't know if I can...."


"It's up to you sweetheart, I ain't gonna make you do anything you don't want. Whatever you decide, I'll be here, you can count on that," Rosco assured, wrapping an arm around the younger man.


Leaning into the embrace, Bo took a deep breath steeling himself for the rest of the conversation. "Uncle Jesse, do you remember when I was in that car wreck just a few months before Luke came home?"


"Yeah, I remember, what's that got to do with you and Rosco though?"


"It's got plenty to do with it, believe me. I know everybody figured I got thrown from the car, but that wasn't what happened. The truth is I jumped," Bo paused, waiting for the questions he knew were coming.


"Jumped! Why would you do a thing like that Bo?"


"Oh honey, you could've been killed Bo, why would you...?"


"What are y'all talking about? What wreck?"


With everybody speaking at once, it was hard to make sense of it all, or to know which question to answer first. Bo tried several times to get their attention, but they just kept throwing questions at him, until Rosco gave a sharp whistle, silencing the room. "Thanks cowboy," Bo said with a smile. Turning back to his family, the smile faded from his face. "Guess I'll start with your question Luke, I was in a car wreck a few months before you came home. The guy driving the car...didn't make it. The thing is, I wasn't really in the wreck, I was the cause of it."


"Now Bo, we've talked about this. It wasn't your fault, the only one to blame was Gary, you had every right to do what you did." Rosco stopped his story, with a hand on his arm and the conviction of his words. "I won't...I love you too much to sit here while you blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault."


"Thanks Rosco, you're right I know, but it still feels like it was..."


"Would one of you tell us what in the world you're talking about?" Jesse gruffly demanded.


"Uncle Jesse, Luke asked how come I couldn't find somebody closer to my own age. Gary wasn't a friend, he was my...lover. He was the only other man I've ever been with, and it wasn't really a good experience. I figured out when I was fifteen that I was attracted to men and women, don't get me wrong I've enjoyed the women I've been with, but there was always something missing. Something I could only get from being with a man. When I met Gary he was twenty-three and just coming out of the Army. You never knew him Luke, he moved here to live with his Aunt. He told me that it was cause he'd been given a lot of grief in the city, cause of being in 'Nam. I found out later that wasn't exactly the truth, but that was after me and Rosco got together. I was fishing when I ran into him, and we started talking, I guess maybe he sensed something cause it didn't take him long to make a move. He could be one of the sweetest men you'd ever meet, but then something would make him mad and he'd get violent. It didn't start out that way, and by the time things got bad, I was too afraid of him to leave."


"I'm sorry, I should've noticed something was wrong. Is that why you said the wreck was your fault? Y'all were fighting when it happened? If that's what happened, Rosco's right Bo, it wasn't your fault," Jesse told him.

"No," Bo answered in a voice that was barely above a whisper. Feeling Rosco's hand on his back, he took a deep breath and continued in a stronger voice. "Gary wasn't just violent when he got mad, he was violent other times too. He...he acted like he owned me, and he didn't much care what I wanted as long as he got what he wanted. The day of the wreck, he'd finally went too far...he was taking me to Atlanta Uncle Jesse. I had told him no, but he wouldn't listen and he hit me, when I woke up I was in the front seat of his car and we were headed to Atlanta. I knew I couldn't do what he wanted, no matter what threats he made,"


"Just what did he want you to do boy?" Jesse interrupted, not liking the look of shame in his nephew's eyes as he told his story.


"He...he needed some parts for the race car he's building and he'd figured out a way to get the money. Gary had met some men in Atlanta, men that would pay for somebody they could use for their own needs. I told him no way, I wasn't gonna be doing something like that, he said I'd do what he told me or I'd wish I had. So when I woke up in his car and realized where we were heading, I knew I had to get out of that car. I got my chance when he had to slow down for a curve, I opened the door and jumped. Gary tried to stop me, guess he must've jerked the wheel when he did. I heard the car slam into that tree right before I passed out. When I woke up again, I was in the hospital and you and Daisy were there Uncle Jesse, asking me what happened. Everybody assumed I'd been thrown, and since I didn't want anybody to know the truth, I played along."

"Bo, that's horrible! I wish you'd told us before, that must have been so hard for you to deal with on your own. I always knew you were strong cousin, but you shouldn't have had to get through that by yourself." Daisy told him, horrified by her cousin's story and more proud of him than she could say.


"Daisy's right Bo, I'm proud of ya sprout," Jesse told him. Standing up and going to his nephew, Jesse tried to wrap an arm around him, surprised when Bo pulled away.


"Don't Uncle Jesse, y'all shouldn't be proud. You say I was strong, you're wrong. If I'd been strong, I never would've let him get away with treating me like he did. I just kept telling myself that things were different between two men, than between a man and woman. But I should've known, should've seen that the way he treated me was wrong. I didn't deal with the wreck or the rest of it any better, that night two years ago when things changed between me and Rosco? It was the anniversary of Gary's death, that's how I handled it. Every year, I'd go off on my own and get drunk, but that night Rosco showed up and I told him everything, including the fact that I hadn't ever been with any other man. That's when he told me that he'd been with men before too. He also told me that he had fallen in love with me and that if I was willing, he'd like to show me what love between two men should be." Bo finished, with a soft smile for the man he loved, as he remembered that first night they had shared together.

"Maybe you think I took advantage of Bo's vulnerability Jesse, but I want you to know, it wasn't like that. I had been in love with him for a while, but I was never sure how he'd take that news, not until that night anyway. I would never hurt him on purpose, I want you to know that, all of you. I promised Bo that first night that I wouldn't ever force him to do anything he didn't want to. Now I'm telling y'all, you won't have to worry about me mistreating Bo. I love him, and all I want is for him to be happy, whether that's with me or not."

"Rosco, thank you, for telling me that. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions about you. I should've known that you aren't the type of man to force somebody into a relationship they don't want. Can you forgive a foolish old man, for letting his own ghosts blind him to the truth?" Jesse asked, holding out a hand to Rosco, and grinning in relief when the younger man accepted it.


"Of course Jesse, I can't blame ya really for thinking the worst. It's not like I have a good history with your family, if it'd been me in your shoes, I might've done the same thing."


"Bo," Jesse started, turning to his nephew and pulling him to his feet. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way I acted the other day. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Son, I want you to know...I love you Bo, and I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own."


"Uncle Jesse..." Bo trailed off, his voice catching on a sob. Leaning into his uncle's open arms, he felt his soul healing as they were joined by his cousins, and he was wrapped in the love of his family.


Stepping back, Jesse swiped at the tears on his cheeks and turned to Rosco, "Will you stay to lunch?"


"That sounds nice Jesse, but then I'll have to get back to town."




After lunch Bo surprised his family again, "Rosco, I'll be out in a few minutes. I need to talk to my family and pack a bag, okay?" Bo stood watching the older man walking outside as he waited for his family to react.


"Bo! What are ya talking about? I thought you'd be staying here now that we've got things straightened out," Luke was the first to regain his voice.

"Well there's a little more we still got to tell y'all. Y'all know Rosco's planning to tell Boss that he ain't gonna be helping him no more? Well we ain't gonna hide the fact that we're together either. I don't know yet if I'll be moving in with Rosco or staying here, but y'all need to decide if you can support us or not. That'll be easier to decide if I go back to Rosco's for now, that way y'all can talk freely. I love all of you and I do forgive you and Uncle Jesse for the things you thought and did, but the truth is I ain't ready to come home either. Don't worry we ain't gonna tell anybody else without letting you know first, but it won't be long before we do. We're both tired of living in the shadows, hiding who we are and who we love," Bo left them stunned by his words, as he walked off to his bedroom. Emerging several minutes later, a suitcase in his hand, Bo gave them each a hug, before climbing back into Rosco's car and driving away from his family home. Leaving his family to wonder, if Bo would ever return as anything other than a visitor.


TBC


Please feed the muse. Reviews are the preferred food. =)