Guardian Devil

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE ARC OF FALLEN LIGHT

Lex held the study’s cordless phone to his ear while watching Clark. The boy was stretched out on the leather couch in front of the fireplace. The firelight played across his fine-boned face and caressed the dark recesses of his hair. Once again Clark wore that blank look he’d had earlier in the day when first facing Martha. Lex was glad that Clark wasn’t trying to hide his emotions behind his armor of shy grins and bright eyes. 'He trusts me enough not to fake happy emotions, but doesn’t want to share what he’s really thinking or feeling yet.'

Clark had been mostly silent since they left the plant. The only thing he’d said was to ask if he could stay with Lex while Lex made phone calls to prep for his lunch meeting tomorrow with his father and the head of A/L. Then they would figure out what they would do with the rest of their Saturday evening. It was strange and wonderful to think that Clark had no curfew (unless Lex set one) and never had to leave to go back to the farm. For once, the Castle felt like home. 'Our home.'

The staff had laid out the ingredients to make s’mores on the coffee table by Clark’s side: rich Belgian chocolate, flaky graham crackers and gooey marshmallows. A six-pack of Clark’s favorite soda sat alongside Lex’s Ty Nant water chilling in the small fridge by Lex’s desk. The staff loved to indulge Clark’s sweet tooth, but for once Clark didn’t seem to have any interest in eating. Lex found that understandable after our last meeting with Martha. She was the only mother he ever knew and she told him she had him tortured for a comment he doesn’t even remember making. 'A statement from a fifteen-year-old taken as prophesy. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.'

Lex sighed as he was finally put through to Bruce Wayne. Alfred had put Lex on hold as Master Bruce was just coming in.

“Lex,” Bruce’s voice was low and husky, more so than normal, and Lex wondered if he was wearing his Batman suit, smelling of blood, the fear of villains’ and the acrid musty scent that coated everything and anything that spent any time in the Bat Cave.

“Bruce, didn’t think I’d catch you home on a Saturday night,” Lex found himself smirking into the phone.

“I’m in between tasks right now. How are you?”

Lex ran a hand across his forehead as the smirk faded, his eyes going over to his quiet ward who seemed to show no acknowledgement of the conversation. 'I’m doing however Clark’s doing, but I can’t very well say that.' “I’m … complicated.” He meant to say fine, but the truth came out as it often did with Bruce.

Bruce gave a gruff laugh. “Well, whenever you’re in one of those complicated moods things get interesting. I take it you need something?”

“Information and rather quickly. Specifically, I need anything and everything you have about the owner of A/L Import-Export.”

Bruce’s silences always spoke volumes, but Lex couldn’t decode this one.

“Bruce, you still there?” Lex began to pace, heading towards the door of his study then back to the front of his desk, while his eyes continually flicked to Clark, but the boy didn’t even flinch when sap in the burning logs boiled and made a popping sound as loud as a gunshot.

“Yes, I’m here. What business do you have with the Arc of Fallen Light?”

“Arc of Fallen what? That sounds like a name for one of your super villains in Gotham with a penchant for wearing too much face paint.”

“Arsay de’Fale Lucien, the head of A/L Import-Export. Arc of Fallen Light. At least that’s what his name translates to in the old tongue of his people.”

“Is he someone you’ve encountered in your nighttime line of work?” Lex asked as he perched on the front of his desk, noticing that Clark’s eyes had fluttered closed, making the beautiful man look even younger and more innocent. Lex felt the familiar tightening in his chest that he now knew and accepted for what it was: soul-crushing love. He fought the equally familiar urge to go to Clark and claim that sweet pouty mouth with his own, nip and suck the lower lip, until Clark was keening under him from kisses alone. He took a sip of scotch instead; hoping the burn of the liquor would calm down the other flame.

Bruce’s gravelly voice was even lower than usual and there was a touch of anxiety that Lex had never heard coming from the older man. “No. He’s not a villain. He’s … something else entirely. So what business do you have with him, Lex?”

“None … yet. Lionel wants me to meet with them tomorrow for lunch. Supposedly A/L wants to do a deal or two with LutherCorp.” Lex put down the glass. The scotch tasted like diesel fuel and the fumes made his head ache. He wondered if this was some residual effect from the contact with the wolves … or whatever the hell they really were.

“I’m surprised that Lionel would want you anywhere near an A/L deal, considering your flair for promoting LexCorp at the expense of your father’s company.”

“Well, Lucien apparently asked for me.” Lex rubbed his temples, hoping to stave off what looked to be the beginnings of a migraine, but there was this bubbly feeling underneath the pain that he associated with the contact he’d had with the (thing) wolf, too.

There was a beat of silence then Bruce muttered, “I’m not surprised … or I shouldn’t be considering his reaction to you last time you met.”

Lex froze. “What are you talking about Bruce? I’ve never met this man.”

“You weren’t introduced … but you did meet.”

Lex felt another stab of migraine pain. His vision blurred and white sparks danced behind his eyes when he shut them. “When was this?”

“Three years ago at the Wayne Manor Christmas Ball. It’s not a complete shock you don’t remember--”

“I was probably drunk and high,” Lex groaned.

“As a kite. He and I … were talking … and you came over to us. You took his glass of champagne and said something bizarre about fire. Then you smirked and sauntered away,” Bruce explained quietly, but there was still an underlying tension to his words as if it hurt to say them.

Lex worried his lower lip with his teeth. Did this Lucien mean something to Bruce? Why else would he sound so strained about such a small incident three years ago? “Did I … did I ruin something for you, Bruce, when I … interrupted--”

“No. No, I only remember it so clearly, because of how he changed … how Arsay’s whole demeanor changed so swiftly.”

'Arsay. Not Arc of Fallen Light. Not Lucien, but Arsay. Oh, God, Bruce had cared. Did he still? How can I seduce Lucien or pretend to be seduced by him, as Lionel wants if Bruce cares for him?' Lex’s eyes guilty darted to his ward’s peacefully sleeping form. 'And how can I let anyone else touch me now that Clark and I are … together, planning to be together? God! Clark would never understand. He would feel betrayed even though all Lucien could have of me would be my body … not my heart or my soul, if Lionel hasn’t already mortgaged that out yet …'

“Bruce, I don’t remember meeting this man at all.”

Lex grimaced and rubbed the top of his skull. The prickling sensation was getting worse and he expected at any moment to hear that wolf’s voice again in his mind. Something inside him longed to hear it, needed to hear it. 'A damned siren’s song is what it is.' Lex found himself turning and glancing out the study’s windows wondering if that wolf was nearby. He felt chilled and hot at the thought it could be watching him from behind the box hedges right at that moment and he wouldn’t know.

“It doesn’t matter, Lex. It was just an impression I had. I might be wrong and I wouldn’t want to influence you when you meet him again.”

“Your impressions are always spot on, Bruce. And I’d appreciate anything … anything you’d tell me about this.”

There was another of Bruce’s silences, but when he spoke his voice was younger somehow, more brittle. “When Arsay’s attention is on you it’s like … the rest of the world drops away.” Bruce paused and Lex imagined him smoothing down the cowl with one gloved hand as if it were a touchstone. “But when you came over to him that night, a grin on your face, slightly wobbly but still graceful like a cat … the world dropped away for him. He went blank, shuttered. You affected him. And in doing that you … saved me actually.”

“Saved you?”

“He would have taken away my … pain. But I’ve realized since then that I … I like my pain. I didn’t interest him after he saw you.”

Lex closed his eyes and pinched the top of his nose. Was Bruce saying that this Arc of Fallen Light could have made Bruce put away the cape and cowl, not be Batman? Bruce’s pain, the death of his parents, was the cornerstone of the man’s existence; Batman was who he was on the most primal level. It was inconceivable that he had even been tempted to give that up.

“Bruce … I’m sorry … I feel as if I messed things up for you and … I never would have wanted--”

“Stop, Lex. You’ve messed up nothing for me. In a way you made sure I could keep who I am and I … I want to keep who I am even if it has its downfalls.” Bruce sighed, but it was a relaxed sigh as if by telling Lex this he had purged any last regrets he had about whatever Arsay de’Fale Lucien could have given him or taken away. “Just … please, be careful around him. He’s … he doesn’t play by any rules … at least not ones that any of us would recognize.”

“I’ll be careful, Bruce. Promise. Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a scout, Lex,” Bruce said darkly, but Lex could hear the smile behind the growl.

In the silence that fell over the line as Bruce stopped speaking, Lex heard the bright sound of Dick Grayson in the background, “Bruce, c’mon you promised we’d hit the streets by midnight tonight! Oh, you’re on the phone … sorry!”

“It’s all right, Dick. I’ll be right with you.” Bruce’s voice was transformed into something warmer as he spoke to his ward, which made Lex remember he hadn’t yet told Bruce his other bit of news.

Lex smiled, thinking that here was another aspect of life that now he and Bruce shared. “Bruce, I can tell that Dick’s practically bursting over there, but before you go, there’s something else I wanted to let you know.”

“What is it, Lex? You’re purring so it must be good.”

“It is. I seem to have picked up a ward of my own.”

“Oh?” He could tell from that one word that Bruce was shocked. Lionel expected Lex to produce a blood heir; adoption or wards would never fly. “Who is it?” Bruce asked.

“Clark Kent.”

“You’re beautiful farm boy?”

'Beautiful doesn’t really do him justice.' Lex thought as his eyes sought out his sleeping ward, fascinated by the hollow at the base of Clark’s throat as the boy shifted in his sleep, one hand rising up to curl by his face. Somehow the wrongness of lusting after the boy in his care seemed greater when talking to Bruce, a man who would never defile Dick’s trust or body. Lex purposefully turned away from the sight of the beautiful boy, clenching his free hand into a fist at his side.

“Lex … how did this happen? Did his parents die in a meteor mutant attack?”

Lex closed his eyes as he slumped down onto his desk chair, “If only. They were … beating him, Bruce. I found him strung up in the cellar. There was blood everywhere.” As if in sympathy Lex’s vision blurred red as another pulse of migraine pain hit him.

Even the Batman, who saw depravity each night, gave a slight intake of breath at that. “I would never have thought that the Kents--”

“They weren’t what they seemed. And Clark … Clark was a far better actor than anyone gave him credit for.”

“I’m sorry he had to be. It does … does it make you happy to have him there with you?”

“Too much so,” Lex whispered and he stroked the decorative letter opener on his desk, feeling the too sharp edge against the soft pad of his thumb.

“I understand,” Bruce said and Lex felt shivers race through him at that knowing tone.

“Bruce, I don’t think I have the strength to … to be what I should for him,” Lex said softly, more to himself. “I’m … I’m afraid of what I’ll do to keep him with me. I’m my father’s son after all.”

“Maybe you won’t have to do anything, Lex. I saw how he looked at you when you introduced us last summer. Am I wrong to think he loves you completely as well?” Bruce asked patiently.

“He’s sixteen, been kept in virtual isolation and traumatized by the very people who should have been his protectors. I … I don’t want to be another person in the line of people in his life that’s … hurt him.” Lex dropped the letter opener and put his elbows on the top of his desk and rested his head on his free hand.

“The very fact that you’re saying this … feeling this … tells me you won’t. Give it time, use that instinct and control you’re famous for and see where this goes,” Bruce answered.

“I … expected you to say something else, Bruce. I admit I … thought you would be appalled,” Lex said, hearing his voice catch.

“I can’t make a judgment against you on this, Lex.”

“But you have a ward and--”

“Yes, I do have a ward”

And at that moment Lex understood the subtext of Bruce’s words. Understood why Bruce said he couldn’t judge Lex about this otherwise he would be judging himself. 'Bruce and Dick? 'Lex could see how Bruce’s young ward’s sunny disposition and remarkable strength would touch the Dark Knight, pierce through the blackness that surrounded him almost perpetually. 'And he’s Robin, as well: the Batman’s partner. Not such a shock to think they would also be partners in other ways. Or Bruce and I are just morally bankrupt on some level that taking our wards to bed seems like a really good and acceptable idea.'

“You and Dick are … together?” Lex asked.

Bruce sighed again and laughed suddenly, a slightly hysterical sound that Bruce never made, but tonight seemed a night for firsts. “This is too complicated to discuss on the phone, Lex. Why … why don’t you and Clark come next weekend to Gotham and stay with us. Dick could use someone his own age to spend time with and I’m sure that Clark could use some time away from Smallville. If he’s up to it.”

“I think that would be a good idea. Let me talk to Clark about it and I’ll let you know soon. And … thank you, Bruce,” Lex said.

“No need, Lex. I’ve got to go now. Call soon.” And Bruce hung up before Lex could say goodbye.

Lex let out a sigh and rubbed his face with his hands after placing the phone's handset back in its cradle to charge. He hadn’t thought to ask Bruce anything more about Lucien’s business or personality. He was glad he hadn’t considering the odd flares of emotion Bruce gave off at the mention of the man. And Lex didn’t want to damage one of the few friendships he had. Bruce had been his only friend before Clark and even that connection was tenuous in its way, because Bruce lived to be the Bat.

Without any intel from Bruce, Lex was left in the dark for tomorrow’s meeting with Lucien, but he could wing it. There was another blaze of migraine pain as he got up from the desk and for a moment it was like the room changed and he was somewhere else. An orchestra was playing Jingle Bells and there were Christmas lights. But then it was gone and the study was as it should have been. Lex had migraine medication up in his private bath. Part of him knew he should just lie down in a darkened room with a washcloth over his eyes, but he didn’t want to leave Clark alone tonight if the teen wanted to talk or just hang out together. Lex shoved down a flush at the thought of Clark using the secret passage between their rooms later that night. If only his body wasn’t betraying him and causing this pain he could enjoy that thought more. At least the feeling of being watched had dimmed. Pain he could deal with. Paranoia really bothered him.
Lex padded over to where Clark rested on the couch. He expected to find Clark still dozing so he gave a small gasp when bright green eyes met his.

“Clark! How long have you been awake?” Lex could almost hear Lionel laughing with derision at his son for having a “private” conversation with another person in the room.

“Just now,” Clark answered and gave Lex a stunning sleepy smile.

Lex smiled back and sat down on the top of the coffee table facing his ward. 'Well, whatever he heard doesn’t appear to have made him unhappy with me.'

“Hungry?” Lex asked gesturing towards the s’mores’ makings on the table. Clark looked like he was going to say no, so Lex pressed a little more. “The staff will be disappointed if we don’t at least make a few of these, don’t you think?”

Clark gave him a lopsided grin and slowly sat up on the couch, stretching his back and neck as he did so. Lex stayed his hands from going towards those broad shoulders to give them a gentle rubdown. He’d already broken his promise three times that day not to touch Clark in inappropriate ways. Clark was his responsibility, it was his duty to protect the boy and restrain himself even if that was at odds with almost every desire in his body. To distract himself from his warm, drowsy ward, he started unwrapping one of the chocolate bars.

His hands shook a little and he cursed the fact that the candy appeared to have the world’s most complicated wrapper. Clark’s hands suddenly covered his own and neither man moved for a moment. Lex reveled in the warmth of Clark’s skin. Lex’s eyes slowly rose to look at Clark’s face. The boy was smiling softly with just a hint of amusement in his green eyes at Lex’s atypical clumsiness.

“Let me help you with that,” Clark said.

Instead of taking the candy bar from Lex’s hands. Clark guided Lex’s fingers around the paper rapper. Lex could feel Clark’s strength as his index finger curled around Lex’s and sliced through the back of the wrapper. The smooth foil was unfolded next and then bar of chocolate was cradled in both of their hands like an offering between the two of them. The heat of their skin was already beginning to melt the dark chocolate, but neither seemed willing to unlink hands or release the chocolate bar. Lex had an urge to start laughing hysterically. Clark destroyed the witty, urban, cool Lex Luthor and left in his place a gasping schoolboy who was undone by holding hands. But I like the destruction.

“We should eat this or else it’s going to turn into a puddle,” Lex said and winced as he felt another throb of the migraine pain. His wince had only been the slightest of movements, but Clark had seen.

“Lex, you’re not feeling well!” Clark’s forest green eyes narrowed in concern. He unlinked their hands and laid the chocolate on the coffee table.

“Just a … migraine. I’ll get some medicine and be all right. Don’t worry,” Lex said and started to rise, but the world spun when he did and his vision went red.

Clark easily caught him as he began to sway. They sank down onto the floor together. Clark leaned back against the foot of the couch bringing Lex between his legs and resting the older man’s head against his chest. Lex froze for a moment as Clark cradled him. I shouldn’t do this. Clark is a temptation when he’s just standing in the room with me. Being close to him like this is … is too much.

“Clark, we shouldn’t—”

“Hush, Lex, let me help you.” Clark’s voice was deeper, sounded older, and made Lex obey.
Lex shivered, feeling just a taste of Clark’s strength as the boy moved his body into a better position over Clark’s own. Clark was helping him. The world had stopped spinning when Clark touched him and the red wash that colored his vision seemed to retreat. Clark gently rested his chin on the top of Lex’s head and even the pain of the migraine dimmed. Lex normally did not like to be held, it felt too much like being controlled, being dominated. But he didn’t feel that way with Clark. Lex unconsciously relaxed and nuzzled the bare flesh at Clark’s throat.

“Lex … you need to see a doctor … that Toby guy--”

“No,” Lex said too harshly. “No, Clark, there’s nothing Toby can do with a migraine. I just need to rest here a moment.”

“Are you sure it’s a migraine, Lex, or is it … something from before … with the wolves?” Clark said the last part softly as if the wolves could hear and come for Lex again.

Lex opened his mouth about to frame a comforting lie, but shut it again, finally he said, “Both, I think. I feel … feel like a buzzing in the back of my mind like I did when that wolf was … speaking to me. But no words.”

He felt Clark draw in a deeper breath than usual and understood why when the boy spoke again, “They scare me, Lex. Something about them … it isn’t right. And I mean more not right than Smallville not right.”

“I … I know.” Lex sighed and felt the buzzing increase in frequency then settle down again. It made him feel warm but at the same time like his skin was covered by bees. Not unpleasant. At least the thought isn’t pleasant even if the sensation sort of is.

Clark pressed his lips against Lex’s right temple in a prolonged gentle kiss. “Your heart beat is strange tonight, Lex. The pulse of blood through your veins is more sluggish.”

Lex’s eyes opened at that, but he quickly shut them, as even the study’s lamplight was too bright for his migraine sensitive eyes. “How do you know that?”

Clark chuckled darkly. “When I tell you … well, you’ll realize that you aren’t the only stalker in this room.”

“I’m not a stalker,” Lex protested weakly.

“Oh, yeah? What’s my first class of the day in school? What do I eat for lunch on Thursdays? Which shirt do I like the best?”

Lex squirmed a little in Clark’s arms. “I only know those things because I listen to everything you say … very carefully and … I observe. There are patterns to everyone’s lives and I just notice yours. That doesn’t make me a stalker.”

'The lead lined room with the huge color photographs of Clark and all the other memorabilia … now that makes me a stalker.' Lex’s conscience pricked at the thought that Clark did not yet know about the room and he feared his ward’s reaction to it. 'But I want there to be no more secrets between us.' Only he knew that complete honesty wasn’t always the best thing in a relationship, any relationship. 'I can’t tell Clark if I sleep with Lucien. Even if I do it for our future … to protect us against the greater threat of Lionel.' But these justifications didn’t assuage the wrong feeling in his gut.

“You haven’t told me, Clark, how you can tell my blood is … sluggish, that’s what you used, right?”

Clark pressed another kiss against Lex’s temple, his lips brushing against the raised veins there. “My hearing is … exceptional. I would know you with my eyes closed, Lex. I can hear all your body’s processes. It’s like music … very particular to each person. And your body’s music is … soothing to me. I can’t explain it better than that.”

“You listen to the noises my body makes and … and can tell me apart from others?” Lex couldn’t help the scientist in him coming out even though his head ached.

“Yeah,” Clark answered simply and began to run his hands down Lex’s body from the crown of his head to his lower back in long smooth strokes to soothe Lex. “And with my x-ray vision, I know you down to your bones. You’ve got the most beautiful bones, Lex, light and strong.”

Lex shivered a little at Clark’s more intimate knowledge of his body than his own. “You’ve never lusted after anyone else’s bones like you do mine, have you, Clark?”

“No, never. I try not to abuse my powers when I’m around people … I know its wrong that I’ve used them on you. But I just couldn’t … can’t help myself. There were nights when I couldn’t sleep and I would just super speed to that hill behind the mansion—”

“The one that my bedroom overlooks?” The wry smile Lex had on his face was revealed in the tone of his voice.

It was Clark’s time to squirm, and Lex didn’t have to look to know the boy was blushing.

“I … I used to watch and … listen to you … a lot.”

Lex was silent at this. 'It’s something I would have done.' And maybe for that reason it didn’t disturb Lex at all that Clark had done these things. 'It makes me feel safe … treasured … loved. Clark and I are more alike then I understood.' Lex snuggled in tighter to the curve of Clark’s neck and Clark wrapped his arms around Lex and held him there.

“Is it okay, Lex? That I … that I violated your privacy?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Clark. I only wish you’d have let me know you were out there those nights. I would have let you in and you could have listened to and looked at me to your heart’s content.”

“Can I do that now?”

“Now and always, angel,” Lex sighed.

For once his Luther part and the rest of him were in complete agreement that lying in Clark’s arms like this was perfect, being surrounded by his angel’s scent and warmth was absolutely where he should be, and his mind need be no where else. The only dissatisfying part was the buzzing, like a low-level hum, in his mind, but even that was no longer painful. It was just there like his heartbeat or his breath.

The pop and hiss of the fire was calming. He could feel the heat of the fire through his clothes. Clark’s hands tracing designs on his back with slow graceful movements utterly relaxed him. He wondered if Clark was listening to his body’s music now or studying his bones.

“Lex,” Clark’s voice was uncertain.

“What is it, angel?”

“Do you believe that the future is set? I mean … I know you told me that we have a destiny together so … do you believe that there’s only one way things can work out no matter what?”

Clark’s hands continued to draw those archaic symbols on his back, but Lex felt the hands shake a little. He’s thinking about what Martha said. God, I hate that woman. Lex tightened his grip around Clark’s waist.

“I do believe in destiny,” Lex answered quietly. “When you saved me that first time on the bridge … I felt something. A connection to you … a knowledge that our lives would be intertwined … that we were meant to be together. But I don’t know if the details are … predetermined.”

Lex wished he could give a more definite answer, wished he could lie with conviction that free will was all there was. But Lex didn’t believe that. He could look back on his own life and see patterns, orchestrated patterns. It was like looking at the scaffolding of his existence and he knew that scaffolding extended forward into the future, only he was blocked from seeing it. The scientist in him hated this quasi-mystical belief about the nature of the universe, but it, too, saw that there was something out there, beyond, even if it couldn’t explain it, couldn’t quite grasp it.

“I didn’t remember that night with the A.I. until Martha told us about it and it’s still … fuzzy like a dream. But the A.I. was certain … certain of the future. Like there was only one way. I don’t remember the rest though. It … it worries me that I didn’t remember it at all before and even now … it’s so vague.”

“Do you think you were kept from remembering by the A.I.?”

“Yeah. What if it can … control me? Make me do bad things … things I don’t want to do?”

Clarks’ frustration and fear were communicated only through slight tremors in his body and how he wrapped Lex tight against his chest. Lex felt the chill himself. They had to get a handle on this A.I. and what it could do. Clark’s power was awesome and the thought of a cool alien intelligence directing him and that power was disturbing to say the least. 'I should be the one doing that.' He batted the Luthor slither away, but wasn’t quite fast enough.

“We’ll figure this out, Clark. After all, we’ve got the damn thing hidden in the flower bed, remember?”

“So anything that allows itself to be buried in a flowerbed can’t be all that powerful, huh?”

“Exactly. We’ll study it. Find out exactly how it works.”

“You always make it … better, Lex. Always make me feel safe,” Clark whispered, his breath ghosting over Lex’s naked head.

“Funny,” Lex said as he stroked Clark’s arms around him, “I was going to say the same thing about you.”

Clark pressed gentle kisses on the top of his skull. Lex, with his eyes still closed, tilted his head back, hoping that Clark would kiss his face. 'He feels safe with me, but he isn’t. Because the moment he wants to break free … love someone else … be somewhere other than with me…' Lex’s thoughts were short-circuited when Clark’s tongue traced the outline of his lips then nuzzled its way within Lex’s mouth. Clark tasted like fresh peaches. Then his mouth was gone and Lex caught himself mewling and trying to follow those lips.

“Patience is a virtue, Lex,” Clark’s voice is a little breathless and teasing.

“Not in my book.”

One of Clark’s hands covered his eyes, sensing that Lex was going to finally open them and see what he was doing.

“Open your mouth, Lex.”

“Only if you’re going to put your tongue back in there.” Then Lex bit his bottom lip. 'What happened to self-restraint? What happened to this being wrong? What happened to fearing that I’ll take advantage of him? And isn’t the door to the study still open … anyone could see … anyone …'

But Lex found himself opening his mouth. The hard edges of a piece of chocolate touched his tongue. Disappointment was swept away when Lex realized that the piece came not from Clark’s hands but from his mouth. Lex fastened onto the piece of chocolate with his teeth and followed its length up to Clark’s soft lips. They kissed as the chocolate melted and dissolved between them. Lex chased the taste of chocolate into Clark’s opening mouth, licking every place he could reach.

Clark’s hands tunneled underneath Lex’s sweater. Caressing the soft flesh just above the waistband of Lex’s slacks. Lex’s stomach muscles trembled as Clark’s fingers trailed along that tender skin.
Clark broke their kiss with a sigh, “God, Lex, your skin … so soft, better than silk, better than anything. I want to taste …”

Lex groaned at that statement. Clark gently laid him down on his back on the floor and lifted his sweater a few inches so that just a strip of Lex’s creamy white flesh showed. Lex could feel Clark’s breath travel along that revealed skin and he shivered. He kept his eyes closed up to that time, hoping that he could just enjoy the touch of his ward and block out the effects of the migraine. But when Clark’s lips fastened around his belly button and his ward’s tongue laved the inside of it, he had to see. He looked down at top of Clark’s head covered in black curls. Without conscious thought, his hands fisted in those soft locks even as Clark moaned his approval of that touch. Lex wanted Clark’s lips lower, wanted them all over the sensitive flesh that lead down to his cock. He felt Clark’s fingers fumble with the button of his pants.

'I’ll be his first in everything. His first and his last… his only. I’ll destroy anyone who tries to take him from me.'

Lex’s grip on Clark’s hair intensified as he realized the import of that last thought. 'And what about what Clark wants? Would I destroy a person that Clark cared for just so that he would remain mine? And if destroying the others didn’t work, didn’t keep him with me, what would I do then?'

The answer to those questions came with terrifying alacrity. Lex’s thoughts flashed to the image of Clark: helpless, spread eagle, bound by his wrists and ankles to a bed frame, the only stitch of clothing a thin purple collar around Clark’s neck, large eyes filled with tears, begging … the only light in the room coming from softly glowing green meteor rocks …

Lex was suddenly sitting up, pushing Clark off of him, swatting the boy’s hands from his pants. Clark’s wounded moan and large confused eyes, a little dazed from lust, made Lex’s chest feel tight like when he had asthma as a child. His head screamed as the pain from the migraine felt like liquid in his skull and moving around quickly caused it to splash and spill everywhere in his mind.

“Lex? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” The sound of Clark’s voice was painful even as other parts of his anatomy became harder.

'My fucking beautiful farm boy. Mine. Make him mine. Tonight. Forget the pain. Forget the fear. He’s mine to do what I want with. No! No! I love Clark. I love him. I love him. God, help me, I love him.'

“I’m okay, Clark. Just my head. I felt nauseous. Had to get up,” Lex said, amazed his voice cracked only a little. Lex smoothed down his shirt and struggled to his feet, making it only so far as the couch before he crumpled down on it, resting his forehead against the cool leather.

He felt Clark come up behind him. Clark’s strong large hands wrapping around his waist and pulling Lex against his chest like Lex was the child and Clark the parent.

“Lex, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I knew you didn’t feel well. That was … selfish … wrong. I’m so sorry,” Clark’s voice was heavy with guilt and even a hint of tears.

Lex’s heart felt squeezed and another flash of Clark bound on the bed, like an offering before him, made him shudder. “Angel … stop doing that!”

“Doing what?” Clark asked as he tightened his hold on Lex.

Clark’s strength surrounding him felt so good, so right. 'And I would betray all that. Enslave him if I could. I’m a monster.'

Lex found his voice, “Stop feeling guilty. Like you’ve done something wrong … you haven’t—”

“Only if you stop feeling guilty for wanting me, too.”

Lex froze in place. “I don’t.”

He felt rather than saw Clark shake his head, “Then why are you always fighting it? Fighting wanting me?”

Lex laughed and it wasn’t a nice laugh. He squirmed out of Clark’s arms and stood, the world only spun a few times before grinding to a halt. Only then did he look back at Clark who sat on the couch, arms half-raised as if to draw Lex back down against him.

Lex used the voice he had practiced so well to quell any business disputes, it was low and clipped and cold, “I don’t feel guilty about desiring you, Clark. Any one would want you. It’s what I’d do once I had you … and what I’d do when you’d try and leave me.”

“I’ll never leave you, Lex. I don’t want anyone else.” Clark’s eyes were huge.

'So innocent. So trusting. Just take him upstairs and fuck him into the goddamn mattress. Super powers or no, I could make him feel me for days afterwards. Stop it!'

Lex smirked and hated himself for it. “You’re sixteen. A virgin. Hardly been touched by a girl and I bet I’m the first guy whose ever laid his hands on you. Of course you’ll want to be with others, Clark. It’s not an if, it’s a when.”

“You’re wrong, Lex.”

“Oh, really?” Lex felt the Luthor part of him snarl then spit out, “And what about Ms. Lang? You seemed pretty damn certain that she was the one you were going to spend eternity with last week or was it just yesterday you blathered on to me about her? I really can’t remember and it doesn’t matter since you go on about her every time we’re together!”

Clark gave him a sad, understanding smile and Lex was stunned silent. Like Clark had expected Lex to say these things, wasn’t surprised at all. Where was the hurt? The weak protestations? Clark reached over and took one of Lex’s hands, staring pointedly into Lex’s eyes as if to imprint the words on the older man.

“The only thing I loved about Lana Lang was that she had your initials,” Clark said.

“You could have fooled me, Lana and every other person in town!” The jealousy lanced out of Lex and he grimaced at his weakness. The boy undergoes torture for me, but still in my mind it doesn’t prove he loves me beyond all others. What do I want him to say or do if blood isn’t enough?

Clark squeezed Lex’s hand and continued speaking, “I used Lana even though I knew it was wrong. I used her as a shield against you, Lex. I wanted you … so much … so fucking much! But if I acted on it and anything did happen between us then Jonathan’s threats would … they would be so much more powerful … you would have been in such danger. So I spoke to you about her like I was under a curse even as inside … inside I thought only of you. Inside of me there has only been you, Lex.”

Lex just stood there, his world shattering and being remade with every breath. He believed Clark. Believed every word.

Lex’s mind spun back to each moment he spent with Clark while the boy talked about Lana and he remembered how Clark’s eyes seemed too bright. Lex thought of how Clark had said things he should say about a girl he had a crush on when asked about her, but that was also the problem. His statements were so pat … too pat. Rehearsed. Lex then thought of all his plans to get Clark and Lana together and how they failed so miserably, because Clark always seemed to find something that needed to be done … something more important than staying by Lana’s side.

Lex rubbed one hand over his head, feeling like a blind fool. The great Lex Luthor totally bushwhacked by a sixteen-year-old farm boy. The fact that everyone else was similarly deceived did not assuage his pride. All Lex’s ideas about Clark were falling apart. Clark was an excellent liar when he wanted to be. Clark withstood torture and censure to spend time with Lex. Clark didn’t love Lana Lang. Clark loved Lex. It seemed only logically that if he was so wrong about so many other things about Clark, maybe he was wrong that Clark would leave him.

Clark pulled Lex into an embrace and Lex let himself go. The tension drained away and he felt like a rag doll slowly losing its sand. Lex concentrated on listening to Clark’s breathing, feeling the rise of fall of Clark’s magnificent muscled chest. It stopped him from thinking, from planning, from plotting the future.

“I’m … sorry, Clark. I didn’t know. Didn’t see. I should have seen. But I didn’t.”

Clark drew Lex back from his chest and looked at the older youth’s face, studying the fine bones, the way the alabaster skin was stretched so tautly over then, the hint of shadows under the blue-gray eyes. “I didn’t want you to see. I needed to protect you from Jonathan and … Martha. Please don’t be afraid of this, Lex, of us.”

Lex sighed and let out a shaky laugh. “Luthors are afraid of nothing, Clark.”

He felt Clark kiss down the side of his head and neck, chaste kisses to comfort him, stop the shaking. “You’re exhausted and still hurting, aren’t you?”

“A bit.” Lex snuggled back deeper into Clark’s embrace, unable to say more or to even think. His world was upside down and he needed to let everything just percolate. In the morning he wouldn’t feel like a stunned animal.

“I think we need to go upstairs now,” Clark said and before Lex could argue they were in his bedroom and Clark was lying Lex down on the four-poster. Clark just watched him, his face as impassive as a Greek god’s statue, his beauty for the first time seeming more otherworldly than it ever had before to Lex.

Lex shifted slightly on the bed, still amazed at traveling so fast andsuddenly nervous under Clark’s gaze, “What is it, angel?”

“Can I undress you?” Clark’s voice was husky. The moonlight from the windows reflected off of Clark’s eyes making it seem look like animal night shine.

Lex swallowed and nodded, unable to speak, unable (and not wanting) to say no. Just nodding made the liquid pain in his head greater, but Lex ignored it for now and watched Clark stalk over to the side of the bed, loom over Lex, and study his clothed body like there was a secret to unwrapping it.

“I know you still hurt, Lex. I know I should stop … should go to my room and leave you to rest. But … but I can’t do that. Now that I have you … finally have you … this thing in me … this alien in me has to … I have to touch you, Lex. Please let me touch you and … and that’s all it has to be … for now.” The boy’s eyes continued to shine and there was this tone in Clark’s voice: dark and pleading like this act was beyond his control, but was what he wanted … no needed to do.

“Do it, Clark.” Lex shivered and throbbed with desire for his beautiful ward.

“I dreamed of undressing you, Lex … touching you,” Clark said as he slid off Lex’s right shoe then the left. “I hated those others who got to undress you and to touch you under your clothes. Your beautiful clothes.”

Clark rolled Lex’s right sock off, his fingers trailing along the exposed skin of his ankle then heel then arch and finally brushing lightly across his toes. Lex stifled a gasp at the touch. Clark continued, “I remember thinking each time that those beautiful clothes were nothing compared to the beauty of yourbodythat was hidden underneath. I only got to see that beauty when you swam. It drove me crazy. I wanted to be the water that surrounded you then. All slick and sleek and soft and me all around you.”

Clark took off the left sock with the same care as the right and Lex practically arced off the bed at the boy’s warm sure touch. His eyes never left Clark’s face. Lex doubted for a moment that Clark could be a virgin, could be sixteen, because none of his lovers, even the ones he paid, had ever been so naturally assured in their caresses, never done anything so erotic like this. Maybe its an alien thing … conquer through eroticism! Lex moaned as Clark gently massaged his feet, hitting all the pressure points, making his body slump deeper into the mattress.

“Clark—”

“Hush … we’re just beginning this, Lex.” Clark looked at him through hooded eyes and Lex felt the ache in his groin grow. Is this Clark? Sweet, innocent Clark that’s ravaging me with his eyes alone? God, the need in his eyes … its as great as mine …

Clark lifted up the bottom of Lex’s sweater just enough so that the fly of his pants showed. Lex whimpered and shimmied his hips trying to get skin to show so that Clark might touch it with his strong hands. But Clark stilled him by lightly pressing against the prominent bulge at Lex’s groin.

“Do you know how many times I left the Castle for the farm just like this … as aroused as you are now? Sometimes I’d have to jerk off twice before I made it back, spill myself on the corn and the earth. God, when I’m in the fields, the scent of fresh earth and growing things makes me think of you. The scent is sweet and musky and masculine. Like you. Only your scent is a little different, something distinctly Lex, something that makes me … lose myself.”

Clark leaned down, his face inches above Lex’s crotch and breathed in deep. Lex could feel the warm exhale of Clark’s breath through his pants and though it seemed impossible he got harder.

“Clark … that’s so … that’s … oh, God, Clark! I’m going to cum in my pants if you keep doing that!”

“Then I’ll have to lick you clean, Lex, so it won’t be a bad thing. And I’ll finally know what your scent tastes like, the inner you.” Clark breathed in Lex’s scent again and shuddered so hard the bed moved.
Lex could already feel the pre-ejaculate soaking through his briefs and pants. He tried to thrust his hips upwards towards Clark’s face, wanting connection between the aching there and Clark’s tender lips. But Clark’s large hands spanned his waist and held him steadily in place. Lex wondered if he would have hand-shaped bruises over his hipbones and moaned at the thought of being marked like that by Clark.

“Do you know what your voice alone does to me, Lex?”

“If its anything like what yours is doing to me now then … yes!” Lex gasped out, hands twitching at his sides, wanting to reach for Clark and drag the boy down on top of him, grind their erections together and cum at the same time. He resisted the urge, knowing that Clark wanted to run this show a certain way.

Clark’s hands left his hips and grasped the edge of his sweater, leaving the pant’s button untouched. “Sit up for me a minute, Lex. Raise your arms above your head.”

Lex did as he was told. The backs of Clark’s fingers ghosted up his chest as Clark raised the sweater. Clark brought the sweater up only so far as to cover Lex’s face. Clark pushed Lex back down on the bed, the sweater pinning Lex’s arms above him, his sight blocked by the black material. Lex was sucking in sweater fibers every time he drew a breath, but he didn’t care.The confinement made him feel helpless and when Clark straddled him and began to rub their erections together, tweaked his nipples into hard points and laved that tender skin the feeling increased. The friction was like heaven and hell combined as Lex forced himself not to cum. He wanted his pants off when he did that. He wanted his seed to spurt all over Clark’s golden chest and goddamn it he wanted to see Clark’s face when he did it.

“Please, Clark! Please!”

“What, Lex? What do you want so badly that you’re willing to beg for it?” Clark’s voice was still gruff with need, but there was a lightness there that took the sting out of the words.

“Luthors don’t beg,” Lex huffed even as a trickle of desire wound through him at the thought of submitting like that to Clark. And the desire already built in his body was screaming at him to just tell Clark what he wanted.

“What if I did the begging then? What if I got on my knees before you, Lex, and begged you to tell me what you want? Would you tell me then?”

Lex’s heart was in his throat and he felt his cock surge against the zipper of his pants at Clark’s words, picturing the boy kneeling before him, all that strength and beauty Lex’s to control, tamed for him. Clark’s weight was suddenly gone from his lap and he keened at its loss, his sweater was stripped from him and he was pulled upright so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes found Clark kneeling on the ground in front of him, palms laying flat on his jean clad thighs. Clark’s green eyes were luminous in the stark moonlight. Clark looked so young again, a sixteen year old again, not some Greek statue come to life.

“Please tell me what you want, Lex. I’ll do anything you want.” Clark’s voice was soft, a bare whisper.

Lex felt like time stopped for a moment. All I want here before me, offered to me. Martha wasn’t wrong to be afraid. This boy really would give me the world if I asked. “You, angel. I want you.”

“I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. Don’t you know that?”

“Now I do.”

Lex’s heart ached. It was an organ that hardly had been touched since his mother died, but ever since he met Clark it seemed to be working overtime. And now this and I honestly think the damn thing might burst. He reached for the boy and gathered him tight against his chest. His physical desire eclipsed by the need to show Clark the purity of his love for him, the only pure thing in him, and it was all Clark’s, all for Clark.

“I love you, angel … love you, love you, love you,” Lex murmured the words into Clark’s silken hair and he heard the boy sob.

Lex found himself suddenly in one of Clark’s bear hugs that he’d lived for up to that day, believing it was the only time he would feel his beloved pressed against him. He rocked Clark gently until the sobs slowed.

“This was too much too soon,” Lex said softly. “I shouldn’t have let this go so far.”

“No!” Clark cried into Lex’s chest. “I wanted to doall of this and … and more! I’ll do it now … give you anything you want now. Don’t stop this!”

Clark drew back, hastily wiping the tears away, his face flushed from emotion. Lex wondered if the assured sexual manner Clark had possessed just moments before was another demonstration of his acting talents, behaving like a worldly sensual being without fear or regret or innocence, so that Lex wouldn’t feel guilt about taking him, would forget that Clark needed protection and that Lex was supposed to be his protector. The panic and fear in Clark’s face that Lex would withdraw from him sent another stab of pain through Lex’s heart.

“Shhhh, angel, I’m not going to … stop it. Just slow it down a little bit.”

“Slow it down?”

Lex smiled gently and stroked Clark’s hair, feeling the boy tighten his grip around Lex’s waist.

“Haven’t you ever heard of … bases?” Lex tried not to smirk at that term. It always sounded stupid when anyone said it, but he needed a concept that Clark would be familiar with.

Clark cocked an eyebrow at him. “You mean like kissing is first base then under the shirt is second and third base is … you mean that, right?”

Lex nodded.

Clark gave an exasperated snort, “You’re not going to want to go that slow! You’re an adult … really experienced at sex and it wouldn’t be right to hold you back because I’m …”

“Not ready for all of this yet?” Lex kissed Clark’s forehead as the boy frowned.

“I know that you think of me as … innocent. In some ways, you’re right. I’ve been sheltered and no one has … touched me.”

“Because they’re all crazy in this town and blind and dumb,” Lex muttered, still shocked that someone that looked like Clark wasn’t at the center of a storm of desire in Smallville. He should be fending men and women off with a stick not isolated and alone.

“Well, for whatever reason … I haven’t been touched and I’m … glad about that, because I want to give everything to you, Lex.”

Lex felt a surge of desire in his dick again at Clark’s words, but tamped it down. “Thank you for that, Clark. You don’t know … it’s an honor to be entrusted with such a thing, more than that. But don’t you see, I don’t mind what we do, Clark. I never thought I would get to touch you ever. So as slow as it has to go I can go and do it gladly.”

Clark worried his lower lip. “I don’t think I can go that slow. What you saw tonight … I … that’s me, Lex. I need to touch you like that … need you to touch me. It’s not enough otherwise. It’s just when you said you loved me and held me like that … I never dreamed anyone could … love me that way. That’s what stopped me, not the physical part.”

Clark rested his forehead against Lex’s chest and the older boy sighed. Lex remembered the way Clark had looked at him spread out on the bed, the mastery Clark had shown in bringing Lex to arousal, the sheer skill and eroticism of Clark and he understood that bases wouldn’t work … for either of them. Then Lex thought of his own early experiences starting at age 13, blowing older boys then his father’s business associates and then sex so fast and hard and harmful. Clark was sixteen, older than he had been by far, more mature than most sixteen year olds, but that was only because he’d had to be.
'I just rescued him from that goddamn cellar this afternoon. This is going too fast.' And there was something else, too, in the buzzing in his mind, a voice coalesced finally and seemed to say: Wait for the fire then take what is yours. Lex felt himself nodding to the voice, understanding, even though he had no idea what he was agreeing to. It just felt right.

“Angel, Iunderstand what you're sayingand we’ll … work this out between us. But I think we should stop here for tonight, okay?”

Clark nodded reluctantly. “Can I sleep in here with you, Lex? Just sleep.”

“The staff—”

“We could lock both our bedroom doors, I’ll make sure to muss up my bed and I’ll use the secret passage so no one will know. Please? I don’t … don’t want to be away from you.”

“All right. I want you by me, too, angel. It’s just we have to be very careful. I mean extremely careful. If anyone were to find us together … if anyone were to know … Clark, you would be taken from me and I won’t have that. I shouldn’t even be risking it at all, but …”

“No one will find out. I can keep a secret as you now know. I belong to you … and you belong to me. This is right.” The darkness was back in Clark’s eyes, but it faded and left only the boy he recognized again.

“Quite,” Lex breathed and kissed the top of Clark’s head again. The electric feeling of Clark’s nearness was intoxicating. Lex still felt an ache in his groin, a need for release. He slowly extricated himself from Clark’s arms, saying, “I’ve got to go to the bathroom. There should be some sweats in the closet that will fit you to sleep in.”

Lex shut the door to the bathroom behind him and leaned against one of the sinks for support. His head still pounded and his cock hurt from being erect for so long. It hadn’t calmed down even through his and Clark’s conversation. Lex looked at himself in the mirror and frowned at the paleness of his skin and the silvery sheen in his eyes that always seemed to come out when Clark was near and he was aroused. 'So weak, Luthor. So desperate for the farm boy. Here I am jerking off when I could have been in there having Clark touch me, having his mouth on me, thrusting into his tight hot ass. But no, I chose honor … love.' At that last thought, Lex suddenly didn’t feel so weak anymore.

He undid the button of his pants, unzipped his fly and slipped down the pants and briefs together. He bit back a moan as his cock was finally allowed freedom. He flipped the water on to cover up the sounds as he began to stroke himself to blessed release.

Lex was so involved, so in need, he didn’t hear the door open or Clark pad up behind him, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, experiencing the same relief as Lex had when his cock had been freed to the air. Lex yelped when Clark linked his fingers with Lex’s around Lex’s hard shaft.

“Angel, what are you doing?”

“Going to third base,” Clark whispered in his ear and licked the tender lobe.

“Brat,” Lex chuckled. We can do this. It’s just a hand job. Hardly world-shattering.

Lex groaned and leaned his head back against Clark’s muscular bare shoulder. The flannel shirt and t-shirt were gone and the jeans were clearly open and slid down to his mid-thighs as Lex could feel Clark’s dick rubbing against his ass. Lex twisted around to face Clark so their erections were side by side. Clark whimpered and thrust against Lex. Glorious yards of golden skin were pressed up against his pale nakedness. Lex nipped Clark’s lush lower lip and the boy keened softly. Lex reached between them and brought their erections together in his hand and used the pre-ejaculate as lubricant began to stroke them both. Clark threw his head back and whimpered.

“So … oh, Lex … so good! Harder! Faster!”

“Why don’t you show me how you like it, farm boy,” Lex purred and grabbed Clark’s right hand, linking their fingers together and bringing their joined grip around both their aching dicks.
Clark sought out and conquered Lex’s mouth. His free hand moving to the base of Lex’s skull and maneuvering the older boy to the perfect position for French kissing. In just those few times that he and Clark had kissed, the boy already knew what made Lex weak in the knees. Lex moaned as Clark did one of those things when he sucked hard on Lex’s tongue. Two can play at this game.

Lex's free hand snaked around to the boy’s ass and traced the line between the butt cheeks. He felt Clark move his legs farther apart, offering him greater access. Lex grinned into the kiss. He hoped this meant that Clark would be willing to bottom eagerly without persuasion. Lex felt the pressure building in the base of his balls and knew that he was near release. The desperate sounds Clark was making in the back of his throat told Lex that Clark was close, too. One thing to put us both over the edge. Lex slid his fingers across Clark’s opening. Just the briefest touch and both of them exploded. The boys sank to the bathroom floor, holding on to each other, breathing ragged, faces flushed.

“God … that was … god, is it always like that?” Clark gasped.

Lex shook his head. It had never been like that for him before and he’d had his share of incredible orgasms. This was just beyond that. “Never for me, angel.”

They kissed tenderly, hands still gliding across each other’s skin.

“We should clean up and sleep. We have to get up early to drive to Metropolis tomorrow,” Lex said after several minutes of touching and kissing that threatened to arouse him once again even though the rest of his body screamed that it hurt and needed to rest.

“Hmmm, right, but that means moving and I don’t think I can move yet.”

“I’ll take care of the cleaning part, but you’re going to have to carry me to bed, I think. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Lex crawled over to the bath towels, wetted one down and brought it over to clean the cum and sweat from both their bodies. Both stripped out of their pants. Lex balled up his own and stuffed them in the hamper. Clark's were still clean and he left them draped over the vanity. Lex had no other clothes fit for Clark to wear outside so the jeans and flannel would have to do for the next day until he could outfit Clark properly.

“Tomorrow your things will have been brought from the farm, but they probably won't arrive until after we leave for Metropolis. So you’ll have to wear that flannel shirt again at least half a day more until I outfit you properly.”

“Because you don't want me tolook like a ragamuffin, right?” Clark grinned.

“Definitely a brat,” Lex said and quirked an eyebrow up.

He got a kiss in return and was suddenly hoisted up into Clark’s arms. It was amazing to feel his nakedness against Clark’s, the nonchalance Clark seemed to have about being naked with him as he carried Lex towards their bed. 'Already it’s our bed, not just mine. I am well and truly lost.'

Clark tenderly lowered him onto the sheets, having turned down the bed before he joined Lex in the bathroom.

“Which side do you like best?”

“Left when I don’t sprawl across the entire bed myself,” Lex teased.

“Hey, I’m bigger than you so when it comes to bed hogging I’ll win,” Clark teased back. “But actually that’s perfect, because I like the right side. See even our sleeping habits show we’re meant to be together.”

Lex smiled and patted the space beside him. “Come to bed, angel.”

Clark shivered and gave Lex a measured look, “Do you try to be this sexy or is it just a genetic thing?”

Lex chuckled and patted the bed more insistently while laying back against the pillows suggestively. Clark used his super speed to join his guardian on the bed. He pulled the crisp top sheet and down comforter up around them and brought Lex into his arms. Skin against skin made them both shake a little until they settled against each other comfortably with Lex’s head under Clark’s chin and their arms loosely around the each other’s waists and shoulders.

“Did you lock both bedroom doors?” Lex asked after yawning.

“Yep. We’re secure.”

“Love you, angel.”

“Love you, Lex.”

Sleep came on Lex immediately after he heard those words. Some part of his brain registered the howl that echoed through the cold night air, but instead of waking him, the sound soothed and dropped him into a deeper sleep even as Clark tensed but refrained from moving so as to not disturb his exhausted lover.
While Clark listened to the symphony of howls, Lex began to dream.

The sunlight … so bright even through the blue-tinted sunglasses… pierced him as he opened his eyes, but Lex knew that it really was night, it was fall and he was in Smallville, sleeping in Clark’s arms. Therefore, he knew that he wasn’t really standing on a beach, sand like eider down beneath his bare feet. He wasn’t wearing white cotton pants rolled up to mid-calf and a white button down shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. The shirt wasn’t half-way unbuttoned exposing his muscled hairless chest. There wasn’t the rush of the ocean at his back and the scent of salt and seaweed in the air. The sky overhead wasn’t that brilliant cerulean blue that you only saw in the Mediterranean. He didn’t hear Clark calling his name and his eyes didn’t track down where the boy was. This was a dream, but it felt so real on every level.

The flare of love in his chest at the sight of his ward … my beloved … nearly knocked him to his knees and that feeling was true no matter whether Lex was dreaming or not. Clark wore white, too, in this dream, but had a tight t-shirt on instead of a button-down shirt like Lex. The white accentuated the golden tone of his skin. There were red highlights in the midnight colored hair, which spoke of long hours under the sun’s caress. Clark’s green eyes blazed with happiness and the flash of white teeth between the bee-stung lips confirmed the boy’s joy. Clark was standing on top of a white washed stucco building that bordered the beach … the changing pavilion … his mind informed him as if this place was well-known to him even though Lex had never been there before this dream.

“Lex, tell me this isn’t crazy.”

Lex heard his own voice answering, “Clark, even if you fall it’s not like you’ll be hurt.”

Clark gave him a lop-sided grin and said, “Good point. But I have to admit jumping off a building with the expectation of flying rather than falling still makes me feel like a loony.”

“But this is for Lex, Clark. Surely, you can fly for him.” This statement was made by another male, not Lex or Clark. The voice was deep and cool like water flowing over glass. A voice Lex did not know, but was so terribly achingly familiar all the same.

This unknown man stood by Lex’s side, just out of Lex’s peripheral vision. Lex felt one of the man’s hands slide around his waist, felt the warmth of the man’s body against his side. His scent was almonds and oak, clean and earthy. Lex felt safe in that embrace. Welcomed it. Lex wanted to look at the man, but as in many dreams, he could not will it to happen.

Clark grinned wider and nodded at the unseen man. There was affection in the look, but Lex felt no jealousy, just a pang of happiness that Clark liked and approved of this man. Then Clark’s eyes returned to Lex’s face and Clark’s love for him seemed like a physical thing that traveled through the air and pierced dream Lex’s chest.

Clark said, “If I can fly at all … I can fly for Lex.”

Lex felt his insides fuse with his love for the boy. “Fly to me, angel,” Lex said softly, warmth filling each word. No human ears could have heard him, but Lex knew Clark did.

Clark smiled and launched himself off the roof. The dream Lex never even blinked, knowing that Clark would soar, even as the sleeping Lex winced inside. The dream Lex was right. Clark’s jump from the roof didn’t result in a parabolic arc with Clark’s body hitting the sand, instead the boy swooped through the air.

“Yes!” Clark cried and began to do loops and arcs, his wild cries gaining and lowering in volume as he flew closer then farther away.

The unknown man whispered in Lex’s ear, “Isn’t this better, Lex? Isn’t this better than what they planned for you?”

Lex’s eyes continued to track Clark, but the smile on his face was also for the man beside him. “Yes, you know it’s better. You know it’s everything. I can never thank you enough.”

Dream Lex finally turned his head to look at the man full on. The sunlight was between them like a white wall. He couldn’t see the man’s face, only the outline of his body. As tall as Clark and well-built. The way the man stood before him all ease and confidence spoke of power.

The man spoke again, his voice dark honey, “I do this all for you, Lex. All for you.”
And Lex could feel the smile on his dream self’s face growing larger and joy flooded his chest. He said, “Thank you, Father.”

And while Lex’s real self boggled, knowing the man whose face he still couldn’t see was too tall to be Lionel and that Lex would never have smiled like that or felt such joy around Lionel, his dream self knew the man before him was his father. And Lex’s real self suddenly felt betrayed. To dream of a father like this was too cruel, too wrong, especially when he knew that when he woke up he’d remember Lionel asking him to look nice for Lucien, remember that Lionel only touched him when cameras were present, remember Lionel had never loved him and never would.

Then in the dream, Clark was swooping in low, his arms open and he grabbed Lex and took him up into that cerulean blue sky. The dream Lex wrapped his arms around Clark’s neck while Clark’s arms were tight around Lex’s waist. They kissed in weightlessness, Clark cradling Lex’s body over his own as the boy flew on his back. The sunlight covered them like a blanket.

“Love you, Lex,” Clark murmured into Lex’s mouth. “Love you. Always. Forever. Only.”

“Same,” Lex breathed. “I feel the same. No words … just everything I am … yours, angel. Everything.”

The dream ended and he was bereft. Lex wasn’t sure what woke him. Only that sunlight was streaming into his bedroom in the Castle illuminating quite clearly the reddened irate face of Lionel Luthor at the foot of his bed. Lionel tossed back his mane of red brown hair, which made him look more like a lean lion than a man.

“Father,” Lex struggled to focus, wake himself from the dream, but some part of him held onto it, knowing that his father’s expression boded very ill. Lex realized that thankfully Clark was not in the bed with him, but he felt the lingering warmth of the sheets beside him, which told him that Clark had only recently vacated that spot.

Lionel’s eyes flashed as he growled, “Lex, this time you’ve gone too far.”