To Find The Way To Cameron's Stargate

A/N: This has MAD Season 10 SPOILERS people. Read with that warning.
I just wanted to rewrite this since this seemed to be my most popular story and I was just a dunce with how I finished it. The ending well is basically the same, just the middle and bits of the beginning are different. Hopefully ya approve.

Disclaimer: I do not own stargate, the actors(shucks), franchise(me elbroko), etc. I'm just having fun for entertainment purposes. Hopefully more then just my own. I was trying to have Daniel be like Kevin Kline's Jeffery in SOAPDISH when Montana Moorehead said he impregnated her. But she was really a he and long story, it didn't quite come out like I wanted, but if ya saw the movie ya get the idea. No harm meant toward them either. Enough said.

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"I would NOT be surprised one bit if your child had three six’s tattooed on its head somewhere." Daniel said to Vala as he was getting his reports in order for the briefing.

“What was that?” Vala asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Daniel replied with a sweet smile.

A few hushed snickers were heard around the table before Teal’c replied to her.

"I believe Daniel Jackson is making reference to the Omen child." Teal'c told the confused woman.

Vala shrugged her shoulder. “So? Nothing wrong with the Omen child. Adria is a god with servants. She's a princess . . ”

Teal’c interrupted her rant. “You are delusional Vala Mal Doran. The Omen child is a spawn of something as evil if not more then the Ori."

He deadpanned, "It was not a compliment!”

Everyone turned to the Jaffa. Sour faced.

"Oh, boy."

"Ya just had to open your mouth, T."

"Great, Teal'c."

Angry, Vala rose from her seat, moving until she had her face in Daniel’s . . . "I will NOT have you talk about our daughter in that matter. She is just a baby!"

"Like hell that overgrown future killing machine, you so harmlessly call a "baby" is mine!" Daniel jumped up surprising Vala, causing her momentarily to flinch backwards. He was so red faced, his voice actually squeaked.

"She has a name: It's ADRIA! And anyway, I didn’t impregnate myself. Your sperm mixed with my egg and we created a child of love!"

“WHAT!?” Daniel screamed. "We did not have sex!! No you, no me together...And definitely no love. "

"I should sue you for child support! I saw it on one of those movies that.."

Daniel interrupted with: “I never had sex with an oversexed, floozy as yourself!”

“I might admit I am a little oversexed . . . But I am not a floozy. You and I made love that night under the stars after you had that bottle of jack Daniels and we . . . ”

“Vala!” Daniel had enough.

"Created our child: It would have been perfect had you not called out Cameron’s name as you came."

Cameron who, was enjoying the banter between the two, became white faced and tried to hide under the table.

Sam & Teal’clooked at each other unsure if they should intervene that was until Daniel tried to strangle Vala and Landry chose that exact moment to walk in.

“DOCTOR JACKSON!” Came the screaming voice of reason. Daniel froze, looking embarrassed to have lost control.

"Children take your seats!" Landry hollered.

A huffy ‘Sorry General,’ was Daniel’s reply as he gave his tormentor the evil eye and took his seat.

"Ms. Mal Doran?" General Landry said, moving his hand toward her empty seat.

She smiled and quietly took her place. From the look on her face, they all knew that Daniel’s torment was far from over.

After a few moments, everyone turned to Daniel for him to continue his reports.

Reopening the file in which he was so rudely interrupted from reporting before he continued on.

"Now, from what we have been told from. Adria . . . " Daniel started.

"Our daughter." Vala interrupted.

Daniel just looked at her.

Sam rolled her eyes.

As did Teal’c in his nonchalant way.

Cameron continued to eye the floor and Landry just dropped his head into his hands.

"Cut it out, Vala." Daniel sneered. Then he turned his focus back onto the papers he held in his hands.

"Why? Why should I cut. It. Out. My dear? I became pregnant. Am I the same as what is in your bible? Will they write another one . . . " She was cut off by Landry?

"Do NOT go there, Ms. Mal Doran."

Vala looked at the General and stopped in her tracks. She shook her head and allowed Daniel to continue.

"Good, now she claims further that it is the Ancients, and not the Ori, who drain power from their followers. They created human life in our galaxy to gain enough power to destroy the Ori -- making this bloody crusade a preemptive strike against the true "evil."

"Daniel Jackson, since you were an ancient, do you believe you’re . . . ADRIA?"

Daniel looked sharply at Teal’c. The Jaffa just sat there looking solemn. But, Daniel could have sworn a small smirk crossed his lips.

"Well, that’s the million-dollar question, Daniel. Is ADRIA speaking the truth?" Cameron asked.

"I don’t believe so." He told them.

"But you’re not sure," Sam finished for him.

Daniel just shook his head

"All right, Now you’re all dismissed. I wish to see you here again at 0700.

Hours."

They all nodded and went on their ways.

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Months Later

"Jack? What do we owe this pleasure to?" Landry asked arriving O'Neill.
"Um. Well here ya go." He handed over a piece of paper to General Landry.

Landry looked at the paper and gave a look to Jack.

"You’re giving me a bill?" He asked Jack. Astounded.

"There were damages to my cabin. It is in need of repairing."

"Your cabin needed repairs before hand, Jack. The hunters just made some improvements."

"Improvements? It was in great condition. You can just ask Dan. Um. Forget that. My cabin was in great condition until you and Cameron went there and shot it to hell."

“We did no such thing, Jack. And anyway that was months ago. What is this really about?”

Jack looked around his office, fiddling with his fingers.

“Well I was bored and came to both.. See Daniel and it seems he’s not here.”

“He disappeared months ago, Jack. We did send you a message to which you replied and I quote

AGAIN. WHEN HE GETS BACK TELL HIM TO CALL ME!

“Well, ya knows. He’s kinda of been there, done that.” He pointed to his silver hair to prove his point. Hank let out a chuckle.

At that moment Vala entered the office.

“General Landry, oh you must tell me who his Handsome fox is.”

Landry looked up to the heavens for support.

“Vala Mal Doran, this is General Jack O’Neill. Jack. This is Vala.”

“Oh she’s the one that got Daniel’s panties in a twist.” Jack let out a laugh.

Vala moved over closer, to Jack.

“Oh, so your Daniel’s Jack. I wonder how you feel to know Daniel’s panties as you called it, are mine alone to twist.”

“Couldn’t care less... Daniel’s a big boy: He can take care of himself.”

Vala stopped and stared hard at the man in front of her. Eying him crucially for a few seconds a devious smile adorned her face.

“Well no wonder traded up for a newer model. I guess you couldn’t please him any longer, with you being old, stupid and all.”

Landry clears his voice trying to get Jack’s attention.

"I’d call you a lady, but I think that’s an insult to the women out there. Just realize one thing. I know a hundred ways to maim you with just my hands!" Jack told her.

The biggest smile adorned her face. "Ah. Finally, I have someone I can play with. Daniel was such a baby with that. So . . . Your bedroom or mine?"

Jack and Landry just looked at each other and left the office . . .

After fighting the Ori . . .

Fighting Adria . . .

And searching high and low for Daniel: (Jack even joined on board.. Sometimes..)

They came across a planet . . .

FAR. FAR . . . AWAY. (Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. The writers of the show “borrow” from it, why can’t I)

The team comes across a new Prior.Shocked to find out it's their very own Daniel Jackson.
"Daniel Jackson!"
"Daniel?"
"So that's where you went!"

"Oh MY GOD, Daniel! What happened to you?"
Vala stands herself next to the newly powered out Ori/Prior Daniel Jackson.

"Come on, Daniel; White is not a good color for your reflection," She shook her head. "When we get you back, we’re going to have to Nice and Easy your hair. And your eyes. Well, I guess contacts. Skin . . . Well I do have a quite nice shade of rouge that might work."

Bright lights surrounded Daniel. He starts to raise his staff.

Looking around the open space of Daniel, Vala asks of the others in the team.. "Does anyone know where the outlet is to unplug Daniel, here?"

"You will not win against us..." he spews out once more...

"Blah.. Blah.. Blah.. Daniel, we've heard it all before. Starting to repeat yourself there..."

A bright lights surround the group...

And there lays a naked Daniel on the ground.

"Daniel?"

The once powdered and lite up Daniel looks up at his friends and realizes he’s in the buff.

Covering his ‘assets’, he see’s the staff in his hand and tosses’ it away from him.

He forgets he’s naked for a moment, until he catches Vala and Cameron staring at him. His hand goes back to cover his pride and joy.

"Ah, guys . . . what just happened?"

"Well, Daniel it seems . . . " Sam starts to say, but is cut off by Vala.

"It seems, my dear Daniel that YOU became one of the Ori!" She grabs his hand and pulls him up with Teal’c help.

She then precedes to slap him upsides the head and continues on.

“Hey that hurt . . . Can someone get me something to cover myself with. And what was that for?”
"You were a very naughty boy, and Daniel . . . I will have to punish you for that. My room. Tonight!"

Vala stormed away toward the gate.

Daniel can see the others are too busy checking his naked flesh out to help him out with some clothes.

He tries again.“Can someone please get me something to cover myself with?”

Over the now snickers surrounding him, someone, maybe Teal’c handed him a T-shirt. He gave Sam and Cameron a look like I know you have a spare pair of pants. Come on. They just turned and followed Vala.

“It will have to do.” Daniel used the shirt to best cover himself while on the trek back to the gate.

Later that night at the SGC.

That night the entire 25th floor could have sworn they heard moans, groans and what seemed like a whipping noise echo the halls.

Some swear it was the voice of Vala and the moans of Daniel Jackson, while others say it was

Siler once again getting a little to up and personnel with his favorite wrench.

You will have to decide, but what we do know is . . .

The next morning a slowly moving Daniel made his way into the briefing room.
Vala just smiled at his arrival patting the seat cushion next to her. Daniel carefully took the seat.
"So, Jackson.. You feeling all right there?" Cameron asked with a smile. He was already seeing the answer by the pained reflection on Daniel’s face.

"Funny." He shuddered out.

"Daniel's fine, Cameron. Unless you would like some of the same," She gives him a wink.

He checks out Daniel who seems to have a bit of a hopeful look on his face.

Cameron just smirks at the pair. From what he heard about last night, and seeing the smile on Daniel's face. He might like Vala's punishment . . . '