The Never Ending Call

Title: The Never Ending Call 8/?
Author: Kim Riley a.k.a. MYSTIC
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the producers of Emergency. Also, the character Mike Stoker is in no relation to the real one. Since they are no longer using them I’ve decided to take our boys out of the ‘closet’ and let them play and be happy. Enjoy.
Summary: What should have been a simple response to an emergency turns into what will seem a never ending nightmare.
Warnings: This is an Au story, also language, violence, abuse, attempted rape (I will not be graphic), and death (though not of E characters)
Rating: NC-17 (see warnings and m/m sex)
Pairing: John/Roy (Emergency fandom)
Archived: at (or will be archived at) http://www.geocities.com/mysticmcknight/KimRstorylist.html
If you want to archive it, please do, just let me know.
Feedback: Please! Mysticmcknight@hotmail.com

"The Never Ending Call"

Roy slowly came awake to the feel of delicate fingers tracing small circles on his chest. He also could feel the heat of his love snuggled close to him and knew what happened had been wonderfully real; he and Johnny had made love together. He pulled Johnny closer to him as he opened his eyes and saw his love's beautiful eyes looking up at him, sparkling with love and desire; for him. "Morning, Junior," he whispered tenderly and leaned down and kissed Johnny's temple.

"Morning," Johnny whispered, a huge smile growing bigger at the greeting he received, having been slightly worried that Roy might feel differently in the light of day.

Roy gave a soft groan as he shifted his body so he could shift Johnny to his back and he on his side, looking over him. He reached up with his right hand and caressed his cheek, "I should say morning, beautiful," he purred. He smiled as Johnny chuckled, a flush crossing his cheeks. "I've wanted to say that to you for ages," he finished, his thumb tracing Johnny's lips. "Everninrnings where you'd tumble out of bed, hair ever where because you slept restless after a long call, and stumbled half asleep half dressed into the kitchen," he grinned, his eyes drinking in the man he loved and knew he would always love with his heart. "What I'm saying is, I love you John Gage and have for a long time, he confessed.

Johnny could feel moisture building in his eyes, but the feeling he had in his gut was unknown to him. He had heard of such things; being so happy one cried, but he had never experienced it until…now. "Oh, Roy," was all he could choke out. He couldn't believe this was happening; the man 'he loved' actually loved him back. Not a moment of weakness, not a side thing, but actually, truly loved him back! "I love you, Roy," he declared and grabbed Roy in for the deepest soul searing kiss ever. When it ended, both men panting for breath, and tears of joy rolling down Johnny's face, he reached up and traced Roy's face with his fingers. "I will always remember this moment forever," he smiled softly, tenderly. "I will as bes be there for you Roy DeSoto, right by your side, and in my heart I will forever hold this moment close."

Roy was ear to ear grins, but there was something in the words that held an underlying meaning. Something that didn't quiet feel right. "I hope we create many more special moments like this," he replied, as his eyes cherished the man he held, and it was then that he saw the hesitation. "Johnny?"

"I'd like that too," Johnny replied honestly, but some of the joy, seemed to shift to pain. He smiled bravely, "But, we both know that, once we get home…" he shrugged, trying to push his feelings aside so he could face the reality of the matter.

"What about when we get home," Roy asked, wondering if Johnny didn't want to risk a gay relationship with him.

Johnny blinked a few times, to control the tears, he would cry no more, he told himself. "Roy, your married, and I can't…I won't…" he just shook his head no.

The Wife and kids. Roy knew this would be an issue, always had, and honestly if things had not prompted this moment forward, their union may not have happened…but in his heart he doubted that. Their love was too strong; he could see it now as well as feel it. But Johnny was a deeply compassionate and unselfish man. Sure he had his moments of childishness, who didn't, but when it came down to it, Johnny would be the first to sacrifice for others. In this case, he was willing to sacrifice his feelings, hopes and dreams for Joann and the kids. A part of him understood this and perh aga again had things been different…?

"I won't let you go, John Gage," Roy told him firmly. "I love you like I have 'never' loved anyone in my life. You are my heart and the reason I have gotten out of bed for, for the last four years, though I know I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you, only recently have I come to realize I can no longer do without you in my life."

He wouldn't cry, he just wouldn't and fought the tears building as he heart hurt, to burst with joy and pain. "Roy…" he croaked out. He turned away, for he didn't know what to say. He loved this man but he couldn't break up his marriage. He closed his eyes, trying to think, as thoughts of what would be best. Getting home and leaving was probably the only real option for he couldn't be so close and not love this man, not if Roy looked at him that way; so full of love and desire.

As if reading Johnny's mind while staring at the emotions that crossed his lover's face, while he seemed to be struggling with what was happening between, them, Roy understood what his selfless partner would thing. "If you leave, I'll find you. I'll follow you to the ends of the earth if I have too, John Gage, so don't even thing about it," he growled.

Johnny snapped his eyes open, some frustration filling his eyes. "I want to be with you, Roy. Spirits, how I want it, but I will 'not' be your mistress. I will not sneak around Jo's back into your bed, while smiling over her cooking…I won't, I can't…please…don't make me," he sobbed softly, for he knew deep down that if Roy pushed it; he would do just that.

"I didn't plan on it, Junior," Roy sighed, sorry he put that hurt there, but he knew that for them to have their happiness, some rain must fall; especially for them. "You could never be but first in my life, love. I would never expect or want you to sneak anywhere. Hell, Johnny, if the world wouldn't be such a shit about it, I'd announce it at Dodger Stadium," he grinned, his own eyes moist from emotions. "And if it were possible, it would be 'you' wearing my wedding ring," he whispered.

"But Joann…?"

Roy closed his eyes and sighed again, when he opened them again, he knew he had to lay it out for Johnny. "I will always love her too, but not the same way I love you. Johnny, I 'never' dated anyone but 'her' in high school. Had I not gotten her pregnant, we would never have married, for I knew soon after…being in the army, that I was gay. And…" he looked away, for admitting this might lessen him in Johnny's eyes. He shifted around until he was sitting up, and helped Johnny to sit in his arms, by his side. "I hope you won't think too less of me, but I never told anyone this…"

Johnny could see the hesitation in his love's eyes and could only do what his heart dictated, comfort him. "Its okay, Roy. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

Roy smiled as a small chuckle escaped his lips. His Johnny was an angel and he was so blessed with him. He opened his eyes and met Johnny's. "I fell in love while in the army," he told Johnny. "His name was Tom and," he blushed, "He showed me 'all' I know about being with a man." He closed his eyes and swallowing back some residue from the past, and then looked back at his Johnny. "Tom…well, he was the only man I've ever been with…besides you," he replied, giving his own version of a crooked grin.

"What happened to him," Johnny asked, but the dark cloud that came over Roy's blue eyes seemed to answer that question for him. "He didn't make it, did he?"

Roy shook his head no; "just a few more days and he'd have rotated out…" he let his words linger in the air, as he looked into the air, searching for a way to keep the ghosts at bay.

Johnny suddenly saw the picture Roy was trying to paint for him and understood why he hesitated to tell him. "You wouldn't have gone back to Joann would you?" he asked, knowing the answer. "Roy…why?" he asked, so many different why's in that one.

"Johnny, I married her out of responsibility. I mean, 'I' got her pregnant, it was the right thing…but…Tom showed me love. After he died, I…I was never the same; even Jo knew this on some level. We have a good life, Johnny, I won't deny it, but…it's build on familiarity and duty, not love. I don't doubt she loves me in her way, but I can't…I don't love her like that. I know this make me a bastard, but I don't want to live like that anymore. I feel like a fraud, a lousy cheat…"

"Why?"

"Because it's not me….not all of me. The part I want to share with you I could never give to her. I could never give her 'all' of me, and at times I know she knows it, but doesn't understand why. I can't count how many times I've taken a ghost or a fantasy to bed instead of my wife…and she deserves better…we both do."

Johnny hugged his love, "I didn't know," he whispered softly.

"Of course you didn't, no one did but me…now you. But soon, she'll have to know too. Johnny, I know you. A part of you will want to blame yourself for our marriage ending, but don't. Please don't. I can't go back to faking it…" he looked at Johnny so intensely and could feel the tears escape, "please don't make me," he whispered. "I want a life with you Johnny," he cried softly. He then wiped his eyes, "But I'll do whatever you want," he sniffled, trying to reign it in.

Johnny looked at Roy, feeling some resolve fill him. "Even go back to Joann and the kids," he asked, and saw Roy nod yes. He slid closer to Roy and hugged him and allowed him to hug him back. He rested his head on his shoulder, and sighed softly, for what happened next would be up to him. He knew what Roy wanted, and he knew what he wanted, but could they live with it? Could they live without it? "You know, if they find out, they'll fire us," he muttered, his resolve settled. There was no easy path, but he knew he couldn't live without Roy, not now, and he couldn't condemn him to a marriage that suffocated him and most likely was suffocating Joann too. "Jo will probably take everything, and you might never be able to see Chris and Jenny again," he said, needing to know if Roy fully understood what he was proposing.

"I know," Roy replied, his heart pounding, as he waited for Johnny to let him know if they would be together or not.

Johnny closed his eyes and envisioned the chasm he now stood before and what lay on the otherside; Roy. He leaped. "So, Mr. DeSoto, what do two ex-fire fighter paramedics do for a living? I mean, we'll still have rent to pay," he asked generally. "By the way, you get the cooking," he added with a smile as he looked up at his future.

Roy cried and laughed at the same time; Johnny would be his, they would be together, no matter the obstacles. He couldn't remember being this happy, as he held his lover tightly, "No problem, Junior," he laughed. He ran his fingers through his lover's hair, then down his neck…he felt something. He looked back and suddenly noticed; Johnny was wearing that key. "So much for getting rid of this," he smirked, as he fingered the silver cross/key. "You don't even know what it opens."

"Yes, I do," Johnny grinned smugly. "It's the key to your heart," he smirked, and then kissed his love deeply. "Its day, lets go see if we can get the Colonel to take us to shore so we can get home," he added.

The mention of the Colonel brought back a whole list of issues, first of all, last night. "That reminds me, what happened last night," he asked, making sure to keep a tight hold on his love. He could see that a part of Johnny had pushed the matter aside in light of their love. He felt a bit bad for bringing it up, but it needed to be addressed.

Johnny shivered a little at the memory. "I woke up and it was clam. I needed some air and started to go topside. That…creep, stopped me. I have no idea what he said, but when he grabbed my wrist, I knew I was in trouble. I tried to break free, but he wouldn't let me. I kneed him hard and stared to make my way back here, but he called for help and they jumped me. They dragged me into the other room…" Johnny began to shiver as he recalled what almost happened. "I could see what he wanted…" he shook his head, "but I wasn't going to let his happen…easily," he added. "Then everything is a bit of a blur; I was fighting, as they hi, th, then there was a loud noise…a shot…then it all seemed to stop. The one was dead, the other begging Argentine…I guess not to shoot him. I was scared…" he looked up at Roy, "Then you were there," he smiled a little.

'It's okay, now," Roy whispered as he held his love tightly, praying he would 'always' be there to protect his lover.

They held each other a long moment, when Johnny looked up and saw the sun beam a bit brighter. "I think we should go topside," he suggested, as was earlier planned.

"Okay," Roy agreed. "And again, he might even give us a suggestion as to how we can get home."

Johnny nodded and took one last kiss, hoping it would definitely not be their last and got up to wash off, before dressing in their dirty uniforms. "We've got to get some new cloths," he commented, pointing out that now both their uniforms were stained in blood.

"Well, since they didn't take our wallets, we might be able to buy some," Roy replied, also cleaning up as best he could before getting dressed. "One day at a time, Junior. That's the best way to go."

Johnny nodded, for Roy was right. One day…one moment, a time, was not only the best way to go, but the only way to go.

*************

Roy and Johnny didn't receive any trouble as they made their way topside, though they did get some dark looks. The sky was clear and the sun shined brightly, making it a lovely day to be outside, and the water was fairly calm. They stood topside for a few moments before a familiar voice called out to them.

h, sh, so, you decided to return to the land of the living," Argentine joked as he stepped down from the upper level where the navigation of the ship was being handled. He was still wearing his flat dark green military jacket and pants, but only a sleeveless undershirt under the jacket, as it was getting warm already. "You will be pleased to know that we out ran the storm as it was moving inland," he grinned, puffing on his cigar as he moved to stand next to the two paramedics.

"So does that mean we'll be able to go ashore soon," Johnny asked boldly.

Roy couldn't help but feel the inner jealously stir its ugly head as Argentine clasped Johnny's left shoulder, chuckling. But he knew that jealousy was more stemmed from lack of trust and he trusted Johnny, just not anyone else; but if he acted on it, it wouldn't look that way. Besides, if one didn't have trust, they had nothing, so he pushed it down. "We were also wondering if you might have any suggestions on how we can get home," Roy added, doing his best to remain casual; it wouldn't do for anyone just how close he and Johnny really were; especially here.

"Also, I'd like to look in on your crewman," Johnny interjected, since the two men had been essentially stuck down below during the storm.

The Colonel nodded and leaned back against the railing of the ship, a mixture of emotions upon his face, etched harder by time and circumstances. "Unfortunately, he died," the Colonel replied, a simple nod of his head as if acknowledging the truth of the matter. "As you had pointed out, there was little that could be done to change his fate…but," he said, looking more at ease with the situation, "You helped him be more comfortable at the end. He will be taken back to his family. As for you two…" he grinned and laughed, one that could be amused or mischievous. "Come," he bid as he started for the otherside of the ship.

Once the three men were there he pointed to the land that was in sight, lined with several water buoys "San Lazaro," he smiled, then leaned comfortably on that railing. "Tell me, do you think a man could swim the distance from here to the shoreline," he asked, a dark meaning sparking in his eyes.

Roy and Johnny shared a concerned look, for it was quiet a distance; perhaps forty-five minutes by boat…swimming? Johnny of course deduced that they might be forced to do just that, looked out over the water again and calculated, "Perhaps, if they went from buoy to buoy and paced themselves," he replied, not sure if his honest answer was sealing their fate or not.

Argentine nodded at Johnny's reply and then glanced at the water, thoughts crossing his dark eyes. Then he suddenly barked some orders in Spanish, then moved from the railing. "Are you hungry," he asked, his mood still light. "It'll be awhile before we dock."

"Thank you," was all that Roy could reply, not sure what to think. He did know that it might be best to not eat if they were going on a long swim.

"Ah, good," the Colonel grinned pleased. "Then when we are done with this bit of business, we can go to my quarters for an early lunch for me and some breakfast for you, yes?" He chuckled at the puzzled yes' he got from the two men just before the noise of a begging man filled the air.

Johnny took a half step toward Roy instinctively as he spotted the man from last night, as he was being dragged and made to kneel in front of him and Argentine.

"I have always considered myself a…fair man," Argentine stated, his voice calm, though his eyes sparked with anger. "I make it a point to let those around me what is expected of them and what I will not tolerate; rape being one of them. The fact that you are a gringo, does not change the fact that it violates my rules," he continued in English. He looked up at Johnny and met his eyes, "This man's fate is in your hands' healer. Should I shoot him like the other or toss him over board. As you said, there is a chance one can make it to shore. Either way he 'will' be punished, for I will not let 'anyone' mistake fairness with weakness," he concluded.

Johnny stood there stunned at what he was hearing, recalling what was said as Argentine relayed something in Spanish to his men and this one in particular that then turned to him begging. "Can't you just turn him over to the law or something," he stuttered.

"Out here, I 'am' the law, young one. Normally I would have shot him already, but as a favor to you, I give you a choice in his fate," Argentine replied calmly.

"I don't want to see him dead," Johnny retorted, slightly nauseated at the idea.

"Then so be it," the Colonel replied and nodded his head, and barked some orders and the begging man was grabbed and tossed over board. "I explained to him earlier that should you let him live, he should follow your suggestion on how to cross the distance…the rest is up to him and fate," he told Johnny, seeing the paleness cross his face. He decided not to mention the sharks that had a tendency to hunt this close to shore; not too often, but it happened none the less. "Let's eat and talk," he instructed and headed back to his quarters.

"Did you see that," Johnny gasped as he grabbed Roy's arm.

"I saw it," Roy replied, trying to sound calm. He had to admit, a part of him had leaned toward seeing the bastard shot. It was another thing that made Johnny special; he would never think like that, regardless of what the man had tried to do to him. "Come on, lets eat, there's nothing we can do now," he added, trying to redirect Johnny's thoughts.

Once in the Colonel's quarters, they sat and ate as the listened to Argentine offer his advice. "I suggest you go to a bar on the other side of the village. There is no sign, but you'll know it by the dark blue curtains that cover the doorway. It's also the only building on that side of town that 'looks' like a bar," he grinned.

"Why not the police," Roy inquired.

"Because my American friend, the policia are not like the ones in your country, amigo. They rather enjoy toying with Americans, especially those without papers."

"But we're in Baja, we don't need a visa to cross," Johnny interjected.

"Perhaps, but I assure you, the policia do not care, and so you know, the farther you go into Mexico, you 'do' need a visa," Argentine clarified. "No, it would be better if you do not involve yourselves with them. Especially since they will ask you how you got there…and do you 'really' want to tell them that 'I' brought you there," he smirked knowingly.

"Ah…not really," Johnny replied, seeing the point clearly now. How would it look to the police if they said a wanted criminal brought them ashore.

"Go the bar, I'll give you a note to prove to the bartender, Releno, that I sent you. He'lt yot you use his phone; it'll have to be collect, as you will be able to tell, it's not a rich village," Argentine explained as he sat back in his chair sipping his coffee. "I suggest you call someone who will be able to either come get you with a boat or bring you a visas so you can fly out of there. Or perhaps they can contact someone in you embassy in Mexico City," he shrugged. "Though I think it would be faster if you have someone fly down and get you in a private plane…less headaches."

"I don't know anyone with a private plane," Johnny replied, feeling frustrated.

"Neither do I, but I'm sure if we let the guys back home know what's up, they'll think of something," Roy replied.

"Do you have any money," Argentine asked, as he broke open a roll and placed some spread upon it from the food tray that laid on the battle before him and his guests.

"Some," Johnny replied hesitantly.

"Good. You will be able to rent a room at the bar while you wait. I also recommend you 'not' wear those shirts…blood tends to draw suspicion," he chuckled. "Also, don't flash badges, it makes people nervous," he added.

"Our undershirts aren't the cleanest either," Roy commented.

"Then I suggest you buy some shirts first thing," the Colonel replied, pleased with his answer. "Since I'm in a generous mood, I will inform you, one American dollar, as last I checked, was worth 25 pesos…our economy is not doing so well at the moment."

"Will they take American money," Johnny asked, suddenly wondering what other snags they will face once ashore.

"Some places will, others won't. At least at the bar Releno speaks English. Many of my men do, they just don't like to," he shrugged. "Many of the villagers will be the same way. I suggest you buy some shirts, go to the bar, contact your people and keep a low profile; for though this is a nice place, it is not the best place to…vacation," he told them, looking serious as he got to his feet. "Now, go get cleaned up we'll be docking soon," he added as he made to leave, but waited until they exited before them.

"Thank you," Johnny said, the depth of that thanks clear in his eyes.

"No need to thank me, you caught me on a good day, mihijo," he smiled and moved passed the two men to attend his business, leaving them to go below and make ready to depart.

**************

Shore! Johnny and Roy had bid their goodbyes to Colonel Argentine and made their way down the loose and wobbly wharf and now traversed the back way, pointed out to them by the Colonel across the fair size fishing village they were at. So far they didn't see anyplace to purchase shirts, so they removed their uniform shirts, rolled them a bit and tired them to their waist, and placed their badges in their back pockets. They knew they were getting a lot of strange looks, but no one bothered them and as instructed, they wouldn't bother anyone in return.

"The store he suggested should be around this corner," Johnny pointed as they neared the edge of the alleyway they were in. Johnny had just reached it, a few feet ahead of Roy, then suddenly jumped back as if bitten, his back against the all.

"What's wrong," Roy asked, closing the small distance to be next to his partner, who looked pale.

"You are not fucking going to believe this," Johnny growled, scared and angry at the same time.

Johnny's cursing could only mean big trouble, but at the moment, Roy couldn't see what it was. "What," he asked then looked around the corner in time to see Tony and Marco, the two bastards from the plane look up and at him.

****End of part Eight****