Delusions

Delusions chapter eight

"Phlox to Ensign Sato."

Hoshi looked up from putting her last uniform into the duffle bag and answered the comm. "Sato here."

"I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the Captain's treatment was successful. He's completely recovered."

"Thank you Doctor." Tuning back to her packing with a sigh, Hoshi gathered up the rest of her meager pers thi things.

That's that, then …

Not able to resist, she grabbed an old Stanford shirt to remember her marriage by before leaving.

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"Umm … Commander? Sir?"

Trip turned to see a petite redhead nervously shifting from one foot to another.

"Crewman … Mitchell, right?"

"Yes sir." She flushed under his grin. "Umm, I just thought you should know, that … umm … I went to do the usual scheduled maintenance on shuttle pod two … and umm … the Captain was in there. And he's … drunk, sir."

Trip ran a hand through his hair. Archer was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

"Thanks, Mitch. Don't tell anyone, alright?"

Mitch could only nod as Trip took off down the corridor. Sighing dreamily, she went back to work.

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"Cap'n?" Trip stuck his head in the shuttlepod, spying Archer slumped on a bench in the back.

"Shoulda known you'd show up."

"What are doin' in here?" He climbed in to sit across from Archer.

"I think it would be obvious to even you." Archer waved a bottle around before taking another pull on it.

"Yeah, I can see what yer doin', but I still don't know why. Didn't your treatment finish up today?"

"Yep. All better. I now know that I am, in fact, not married to Ensign Sato."

"Well, that's just grand. So why …?" Tapering off, Trip indicated the bottle.

"You're an adult, Trip; you know the things that pass between married people."

"So you kissed her a few times, we explained t' Hosh that you were getting' worse and she might hafta do somethin' like that, but you wouldn't hold it against her."

The bottle thunked to the floor as Archer's face went white. A second later Trip had the air knocked out of him as Archer tackled him to the deck.

"You told her she had to pretend to be my wife? You convinced her she had to kiss me a few times? You son of a bitch!" Grabbing Trip by the front of his uniform, Archer picked him up enough to land a right hook.

"I raped her! I threw her against a wall, tore her clothes off and fucking raped her! She tried to stop me but I wouldn't listen! I'm her Captain! She's supposed to be able to trust me.

"And I raped her." Archer sat back, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Hoshi. My Hoshi."

"Cap'n …" Trip placed a hand on his shoulder, not knowing what to say.

Archer shrugged off his hand. "See how she is Trip. Make sure she's … make sure she's ok."

"Sure, Jon. Sure." Picking up the near empty bottle, Trip left the pod.

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Trip raced down the corridors, trying to figure out where Hoshi could have gone.

She wouldn't still be in Archer's cabin … Sickbay? Back t' her cabin?

A quick stop at a comm unit to contact Phlox told Trip Hoshi wasn't in Sickbay, so Trip tried her cabin.

"Hosh!" He pounded on the door. "Let me in, please!"

"Commander?" Whatever Trip had been expecting, it wasn't the sight of a calm, clear-eyed Hoshi. She moved back into the cabin and he slowly followed.

"You all right?" Glancing around, he saw her things back to their old place.

"Well, considering …" Hoshi shrugged as she sat down on the bunk.

"Yeah." Trip sat next to her, taking her hand in his. "Do you want t' talk about it?"

"Not really …"

"Would Phlox be better? He's had training for this kinda thing, I think."

Hoshi finally noticed the intense look of concern on Trip's face. "Commander, what are you talking about?"

"Jon told me how … he left you this evening, right before his last treatment."

"Oh." Hoshi blushed. "I didn't think he'd tell anyone what happened."

"Not tell?" Trip was incredulous. "Hoshi, he raped you!"

"What?" It was Hoshi's turn to be shocked. "He didn't rape me!"

"He said he … he pushed you up against a wall, tore your clothes off and … You tried to stop him but he wouldn't."

Closing her eyes, Hoshi put her hand to her mouth. "Oh no." She turned to Trip, grabbing onto his hands. "Jon did not rape me. I've had enough training from Malcolm to have stopped him if I wanted to."

"Then … then you did want to?" The disbelieving look on Trip's face caused Hoshi to smile.

"You know I knew Jon before this mission, right?" At his nod, Hoshi continued. "I may have had the secondary linguistics chair at Harvard, but I was still only 25. A strange mix of youth and responsibility. Jon was …" Her smile grew secret as she thought back.

"I was bowled over. I never got to know him all that well, so I suppose it was just an infatuation. I certainly never saw anything that indicated he felt the same way. I was able to stay on top of it when I came aboard, but pretending to be his wife these past days … I fell in love with him." Hoshi lifted her head to look Trip in the eye, her expression belligerent. "why why not? He's a wonderful man; kind, thoughtful …"

"Whoa!" Trip held up his hands. "You don't have t' convince me, the guy's my best friend. I'm happy for you.

"But you gotta talk to him, Hosh. I don't know why he thinks he … you know, but I left him in shuttlepod two after tryin' t' down a bottle of bourbon …"

"And you just left him?!" Hoshi jumped up and ran out the door. Her voice floated back to Trip. "Of all the stupid, idiotic …"

"I … he …" Giving up, Trip took off after her.

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"He's not here!" Standing in the hatch of the pod, Hoshi turned on Trip. "Where could he have gone? How could you leave him like that?"

"He asked me t' go make sure you were ok, Hoshi. He was worried about you."

"Where could he be?" Hoshi was near tears.

"Let's try his cabin first. Then we'll go from there."

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Hoshi … Hoshi … Standing in the shower with the water on cold, trying to get sober, Jon kept seeing Hoshi: naked, holding herself up against the wall with one hand. Violated. Desecrated. By him.

Almost against his will Hoshi changed, now she was in the green teddy, candlelight flickering off her warm skin. He stripped her and she laid him down on the bed, hovering over him, teasing him. As he begged her in his memory, his hand slid down his wet stomach to wrap around his hard length. As Hoshi took him into her mouth he started stroking, sickened that he couldn't leave her alone, even in his mind, even after what he had done to her. He felt her smooth skin under his hands, her hard nipple in his mouth, her voice as she moaned his name …

"Hoshi!" Jon came violently, calling for her as his come hit the glass walls to be washed away and recycled. "Hoshi …"

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"I don't think he's in." Trip rang the door chime again.

"Let's check." Hoshi entered Jon's code and walked into the darkened cabin, stopping short at the sight of a naked Jon lying passed out, spread eagle on his bed. She didn't now whether to laugh or cry at the sight.

"For Christ's sake …" Trip walked over to the bed, nudging Jon on the shoulder. "Wake up! I found her!"

"Go 'way!" An arm flailed out, trying to get rid of whoever was annoying its owner.

Hoshi stopped Trip from pulling Jon out of bed. "I'll take care of him." She pushed Trip out the door.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Hoshi smoothed back Jon's hair. "What on Earth were you thinking?"

"Hoshi?" Still unconscious, he began to thrash about.

"Shhh, I'm here." Climbing into bed, she wrapped her arms around him, laying his head on her chest. "I'm here."

Jon pulled her in tighter. "Hoshi." He began to sob. "Oh God, Hoshi, I'm so sorry …"

"I know." Hoshi laid her cheek on his head, gently rocking him back and forth. "I know."