The Bitter End

Title: Bitter End 07
Author: Daedalus / Tak / Whatever, as long as the clock keeps ticking
Fandom: NCIS
Category: Slash
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo – Allusions to Tony/Jeanne and Gibbs/Mann
Rating: PG for now (will be NC-17 later on)
Genre: Angst (a lot of it) – Action – Character study – First Time
Summary: What could have been a tragedy forces Gibbs and DiNozzo to realize they can’t deny what they long for any longer. But a ghost rises from the past and beats them to the game.
Spoilers: Every season from season 1.
Warnings: Homophobia
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue.
Thanks to Joey, who does an amazing job, for betaing this fic.


‘So, boss. What is it all about? Am I gonna die or something?’


Gibbs had invited Tony at an Italian restaurant with what seemed to be no reason whatsoever. It was not Gibbs’ or Tony’s birthday; Tony was still in a wheelchair most of the time; they hadn’t just closed a case – or *that* case for that matter – and were not closer to closing it since the day Tony had been shot at.

So to the Senior Field Agent, it really was a wonder that Gibbs had invited him, that evening…


‘What?’ Gibbs protested. ‘No! Unless there’s something you’re not telling me…’


The suddenly worried look in Gibbs’ eyes was strangely satisfying. Tony felt warmth spreading in his belly.


‘Nope. Just that… You know. It’s not like you invite me to dinner all that often. I mean, You hardly ever buy me coffee, so… And well, as far as I know, after almost three years of working for you, the first time I saw you buy someone coffee – that is, except Abs of course – was for Kate… And I know you did that because you were upset because you were having nightmares about her.’


Gibbs blinked. There was no possible way…


‘How can-‘


Tony looked triumphant. He grinned, the strange, affectionate gleam in his eyes illuminating his whole face.


‘You had dark circles under your eyes at the time. You snapped at everyone. The only one you were decent to was Kate. Put two and two together, and well, I guessed you didn’t not sleep much, or at least properly… And given the rise in your obsession of Ari… Well…’


He shrugged his shoulders. Gibbs had to smile. He himself had barely been aware of his own… discomfort. Well, obviously he did not feel well, but he didn’t know it showed, or that someone cared enough to even be aware of it. Tony had always been able to read him like a book. He was observing him – checking on his temper because of his survival instinct, perhaps – but Gibbs liked to think he genuinely cared for his well-being. Aside from the fact that you had to be able to assess your partner’s state to react in time if a change of mood impairs his abilities. Because as far as he knew, McGee, Kate and Ziva had never been able to interpret his slightest mood swings, give a correspondence to his tiniest emotions and act accordingly. Tony always dared to infuriate him when he was a little depressed or moody, so that he could vent his anger and focus on a single person and not ruin a case because he couldn’t concentrate; he always knew what to say or what look to give him to make him know he was there, and cared.

Like that one time, right after Pacci’s death, when Gibbs was feeling responsible for his colleague’s murder, angry because he could not find a lead, apprehensive because of the barbarity of the murder. His temper had been rising steadily, culminating at the end of the day, and all Kate had done, not even thinking a second about the fact that he was grieving for someone who was like a friend to him, was bitch about her having to work while she had plans, her priority being her phone call. He had felt so dejected that he had snapped at Tony too, a hint of his jealousy showing through, but Tony had given him that look and spoken softly, letting him know in one simple gaze that he cared, that he was genuinely sad too, that he felt grieved both for Pacci and for him.

Tony was compassionate. One of his best qualities and worse weaknesses.

But that day, though he was still feeling miserable, he had felt a ripple of something warm wash over him. As if Tony had helped him reach a degree of peace. Peace so intense, in fact, that he had had to close his eyes to feel the overwhelming wave of calm – and gratefulness – wash over him, even for a second.

And today, Tony had proved how perceptive Gibbs had always suspected him to be. And how closely he paid attention to Gibbs’ emotions. He was not sure anybody even at work gave him that much credit.


Tony was looking at him with a smile on his face and something akin to amused adoration in his eyes. Gibbs had to resist the urge to reach across the table and take Tony’s hand to stroke it. Strangely, in this almost intimate atmosphere, it felt like the right thing to do.

But he couldn’t. They couldn’t. If he gave in…

He broke the silence, offering Tony a teasing smile.


‘Am I that aloof? That you think I don’t care enough to take you out to dinner from time to time?’
‘Nope. But generally, there has to be something. Like me nearly dying from the plague, or Kate dying, or me being in jail… And you’re not the kind to show off your incapacitated ‘friend’ just for the fun of it.’


There was some sort of melancholy in his voice and Gibbs knew that Tony had not healed. That he would never heal.

Well, he would never heal either. But Gibbs wanted to help. He needed to. Make Tony feel better. Make him happy. Why couldn’t he? Because of rule 12? Because some people at work were narrow-minded bastards that frowned upon homosexuality and nepotism? Tony had proved to be a very valuable asset to NCIS, with or without his boss’ guidance… Gibbs knew that Fornell would give him a job if he were to lose his job here. Tony only had to ask. If he did lose it. Sure, Jenny – among others – would not take too kindly to him entering a serious relationship with Tony. But he didn’t really think she would go as far as that.

He shook his head. Why those questions? They didn’t have answers. And Tony had no reason to have any interest in him. Or love him, for that matter. As his boss, and even as a fellow human being, Gibbs surely had not made his life an easy one – hell, if anything, he relished in making it even worse.

Once more, he felt the urge to reach out and stroke Tony’s fingers. Instead, he smiled, curling said fingers around his own body in a desperate attempt not to let Tony know he needed to hold him. The younger agent smiled in return.


‘You know, I could get used to it. The calm without the storm, I mean. ‘Tis strange, but… I don’t even want to do something or talk about something… It’s… Peaceful… You know?’


Tony seemed to be having a hard time to put his thoughts into words. He seemed to be avoiding his gaze – like a shy young woman on her first rendezvous. Which was particularly pleasant, but particularly dangerous. But at the moment, Gibbs did not give a damn. He had never felt so good in his entire life – except, perhaps, the day Kelly was born – and would not let the realization that he was entertaining an illusion hamper the most beautiful day of his life.


He was feeling the peace Tony was talking about. His fingers were itching for a little bit of Tony’s skin, and there was a bitter undertone to the atmosphere, that he knew he would feel more strongly later, when he would be in his bed, alone… But for now, he was content. It felt good. It felt right.

He wanted it to feel even more right. He longed to be closer. To touch. To smell. To stroke. To kiss. To make love. To make him his.
But despite the gentle (timid?) look Tony was giving him, despite his fleeing glances and the nervous twitches of his mouth as he was trying not to smile too obviously – the perfect blushing virgin, though Tony would kill him if he knew he was entertaining those thoughts – well…
Irresistible. But he kept his hands to himself, and Tony did the same, and in the sacred silence they shared, he felt the illusion of being closer to Tony than the two lovers they had passed on their way, making out on a public bench. As if a glimpse into Tony’s eyes allowed him to see all the way into the young man’s soul…

**
*

‘You coming as well, boss?’

Tony sounded bewildered as he looked.

It was the day of the award ceremony and Gibbs was all dressed up, whistling – whistling!!! – and it looked as if he was… Well… impatient. Even somewhat excited. Or eager. He was grinning from ear to ear without even being able to stop himself.


They had been ‘living together’ for a little over a month, and even though Tony was getting a little more autonomy, and had been given crutches to try out because he was becoming restless and had threatened the doctors to try and walk without them (under the pretence that he had to keep his muscles working if he did not want to risk atrophy), it still was painful and straining, so he still used the wheelchair most of the time.

Tony looked positively freaked out, and Gibbs smirked at him, and at the rest of the team. Ziva was frowning, trying to figure out whether it was the end of the world, McGee kept his distance, and tried not be too obvious with his staring, Palmer gave Ducky, who tagged along with a hyper Abby, an inquisitive gaze, one that the legist ignored in favour of trying to decipher Gibbs’ uncharacteristic good mood as well.


‘Are you drunk, Jethro?’ he asked cautiously.
‘What? Oh no. Don’t worry. I feel great.’
‘Well, you look great indeed… I’ve not seen you look that dashing since the day you married your fourth wife… That reminds me of the day-‘


Gibbs just shook his head. Tony was still looking at him, two wrinkles creasing his brow as he was trying to figure out what was going on. Gibbs smiled at him, and Tony’s face fell, his eyes widening. The Boss snorted and turned.


‘Come. I don’t wanna be late for the first award ceremony ever I’ll be attending.’


He ignored the looks his people exchanged behind his back and strolled off towards the room where Jenny was holding her ceremony.

**
*

When Jenny called his name a little later, politely clapping and smiling, Tony was too stunned to move. He was gaping, staring at the podium, then at his boss, trying to process what was happening, and though Gibbs enjoyed every bit of it, as did Abby, apparently, who was jumping all over the place, shrieking and hugging Tony and Gibbs and the rest of the team as if she had been given the award herself, he decided to put him out of his misery. He leaned towards his agent, proudly, and whispered.


‘Go, Tony. You’ve deserved it.’
‘Is that a joke? If it is, it’s not funny’, Tony blurted out.
‘No Tony, it’s not a joke. You deserve every bit of this. And go before she decides to give it to me instead…’
‘You knew…’, Tony accused, grinning at him and blushing with pleasure.
‘Yeah, I knew. Now, go get your prize. Make me proud…’


Tony opened his mouth to say something, looked down, and then back up at him, grinning cheekily.


‘On it, Boss.’


McGee was already handing him the crutches he had been trying for the last four days, without much success, and was readily helping him up, letting Tony grip his shoulder to get up.

It didn’t take him long to get on the podium and though his brow shone with perspiration at the effort, Tony was grinning madly, searching Gibbs in the crowd and smiling at him, eyes sparkling with delish as Jenny gave him the award. When he was given a mike, Tony thanked everybody before he started to speak for himself.


‘Well, I must say, this is a surprise… I really didn’t think I’d be here today… For myself, I mean.’


People laughed. And Tony laughed as well. Gibbs hid his mouth behind his hand, as he was grinning himself, and biting his bottom lip.


‘So thanks. I really appreciate it. I… uh… Had prepared a lil’ speech for my boss over here’ – he waved a sheet of paper in his direction – ‘but well… I guess I can’t deliver it, now, can I?’
‘Well, you can always alter it’, said Jenny, stepping next to him before she said: ‘And now, for being the best agent in the whole agency for the last five years, please a round of applause for Special Agent Gibbs, who decided to show up this time…’


People clapped politely, but whispered among one another…

Gibbs saw Tony’s face fall and pale slightly, a pained expression flashing through his eyes as if Jenny had slapped him, and he felt anger rising in his chest. His gaze hardened in seconds as he saw Tony drop his gaze and look right and left at the floor but avoiding the crowd at all cost, trying to keep a firm grip on his crutches and keep the award that was suddenly too much in his hands at the same time…

He was apparently trying to figure out how the hell he would climb down the stairs and could not. He looked ill. Gibbs realized something. He blanched.


‘Duck, tell me’, he said, leaning towards his friend. ‘Are there that many steps, usually?’
‘Well, I did think the podium was higher than usual, but I thought it was because Tony is not yet used to his crutches… You think… No… Jenny would never…’


Gibbs saw red. He didn’t answer.

After not moving for a good five seconds, he stood up, knocking off his chair, and stormed up the aisle, put his hands on Jenny’s hips, ignoring her wriggling and protests, to make her climbed down, took her unceremoniously by the arm and pulled her towards the nearest side exit before anyone could react.


He shut the door and started shouting.


‘WHAT THE HELL D’YA THINK YOU’RE DOING?’


Jenny tilted her chin upward, smoothing her dress.


‘Trying to congratulate you for a job well done. What do you think I was doing?’
‘God! I can’t believe this!’


Gibbs was still shouting; but he had stopped yelling.

He looked at her, hard.


‘So that’s how things are gonna be, huh?’


They stared at one another for a while, and Jenny sighed, leaning against a desk.


‘You didn’t expect me not to give *you* anything for once I could reward you for the things you do for us… did you?’


Gibbs was still glaring.


‘I’m only doing my job.’
‘Like Tony.’
‘Yeah. Exactly. So he deserved this as much as I do.’
‘You know it’s not entirely true.’
‘We won’t go over that again, will we?’


He thought back at the conversation they had a little while back. No. He would not go over *that* again with her.

**
*
[i]


‘Excuse me… Director?’


Jenny looked up from the papers she was skipping through and smiled at him.


‘Hello Jethro.’


Gibbs closed the door behind him while Jen was taking off her glasses, putting them down carefully on the desk.


‘What can I do for you?’
‘I know the… ceremony for the award of the Agent of the Year is coming soon.’


Jenny smirked.


‘And? You want to tell me you won’t attend, Jethro? Well, that’s just polite. At least I will not have to bear the humiliation I had the first time you sent your… boy to fetch it for you.’


Gibbs rolled his eyes.


‘No. I’ve come to tell you I ‘will’ attend, on one condition.’
‘And what is it, Jethro?’
‘That you give it to Tony.’


Jenny stared at him as if he had grown a second head.


‘You’re joking, right?’
‘You told me yourself that he did a great job while I was away…’
‘Well, he did, but it does not mean that he earns that price… You’re the lead agent, now.’
‘Come on. You know how much it means to the kid. You know he needs some official recognition, from time to time. And you know he earns it. He’s done a great job. He saved my live – several times. And the lives of other agents. He’s been instrumental in the closure of most cases we had, and has been since he set foot in NCIS.’
‘Well, so were Ziva and McGee. Perhaps I should give them an award, too… And he’s supposed to have your six. That’s his job. That’s what he does. You know you would have done it for him as well.’


Gibbs could not believe what he was hearing.


‘He sacrificed a whole year of his life in an undercover mission you assigned him, without back up – ‘cause I don’t think you’d come and rescue him when you where dining with the President – and he could have died and we would have never learnt about it.’
‘Well, he’s done his job. And a good job at it too. But fruitless. Wasn’t it? We still don’t know where La Grenouille is… I did not force Agent DiNozzo into that mission, Special Agent Gibbs. And don’t tell me he didn’t enjoy fucking Jeanne Benoît…’


Gibbs knew he should keep his temper in check, but this was starting to be very difficult.


‘I can’t believe it’, he growled. ‘How do you think he felt, being *asked* to *fuck* that girl? Like a common whore??’
‘He loves women.’
‘Yeah. He loves women. In plural. And what did you do when his cover was blown – and you knew it would come to this one day – you just told him he was wrong to *feel* something for the girl, that it was a mistake as an agent.’
‘Well it is. And don’t you deny it, you know that better than anyone.’


Gibbs just shook his head.


‘You know I don’t like it when you do that.’
‘Do what?’
‘What you’re doing.’
‘And it is?’
‘Using my rules and my past experiences against me and my team.’
‘It is not against you and your team, Special Agent Gibbs. I was being practical. He was not ordered to fall for the girl.’
‘Fucking one girl – only one – for nearly a whole year… Come on, Jenny. Even you know what it is to be “human”.’
‘He failed his mission.’
‘AND WHOSE FAULT WAS IT??’


Red with anger, Gibbs had stood up abruptly, leaning forward, menacingly, using his height over the Director to tower above her, fury blazing in his ice-blue eyes.


‘YOU pissed off the C.I.A. YOU assigned the mission. YOU gave him his alias. YOU did not make sure it was safe enough for it not to be broken into by any other fucker the guy was friendly with. YOU are responsible. And don’t you DARE deny it, because as far as I know, YOU are the Director of this fucking agency.’
‘You’re going too far, Special Agent Gibbs.’
‘HE was involved more than he should? Hell, look at you, Jen. You were involved far deeper than him. From the beginning.’
‘That’s rich, coming from you, Jethro’, she said sweetly.
‘At least I TRIED not to involve my agents anymore than I had to.’
‘Well, that failed, didn’t it?’
‘Ducky, Gerald and Kate were involved since the beginning. And Abby to some degree. That was different.’
‘Oh, come on, Jethro. We both know that Ari went after ‘your women’. Don’t we? You could have lost me too. Maybe if he had succeeded he would have come after Tony and McGee before he got to you…’


That hurt. He really did not think it could come to this. He thought – Well. He did not know what to think anymore. He shook his head. He did not know what had made Jenny so pissed off lately. She was always bitching at details. Especially when Tony did something wrong. Or he did.

He straightened up, sighing.


‘Don’t give me the award, Director. I won’t accept it. Give it to Tony.’


Jenny was still glaring at him, a muscle playing in her cheek as she clenched her teeth.

He shook his head once more and was heading towards the exit when Jenny called out to him.


‘You still remember your rules, don’t you? Remember rule 12?’


Gibbs froze, and turned towards her.


‘What??’
‘Don’t act like you don’t understand, Jethro.’
‘You’re insinuating that I’m having a relationship with Tony, Jen?’ he said, unbelieving.


She did not answer, but raised her eyebrows defiantly. Gibbs let out a bark of laughter.


‘I care for my own, Director. You know that. Tony’s been hurt. Because of me. He needs help. And I’m not letting him go back to that flat of his. He can’t climb up the stairs with his arm in a sling and his thighbone in smithereens.’
‘You could have left him in the hospital. Bethesda would take good care of him.’


Gibbs closed his eyes.


‘Stop.’
‘What?’
‘Stop it.’
‘You care for him. Don’t you?’
‘Of course I care, dammit! He’s part of my team! He’s one of the best field agents of this whole agency! McGee and Ziva are good too, but they don’t have his experience yet and they don’t feel things as he does… You may like to think he’s shallow sometimes, but if you had known what I know, you’d have given your stupid assignment to another agent…’
‘Come on, Jethro. He was the best for the job because yes, he’s got some talent. But also because he’s fucked more women than Casanova and that he knows how to captivate them. And don’t try to deny that you want him. I’ve seen how you look at him.’
‘Come again?’
‘I’ve seen how you look at him. It’s not the way you look at McGee. Or Ziva. Not at all.’
‘So what?’
‘It’s the way you used to look at me in Paris, Jethro.’


Jethro shook his head. He wanted to laugh it off. It was utterly ridiculous. He smirked, narrowing his eyes.


‘Oh I can assure you it’s not. We were undercover, remember? I had to act the part…’


Sheppard blanched at that and started to say something but he cut her.


‘You were my partner, and I care for you, but still I could not trust you totally. And I was damned right not to.’
‘Jethro you know it was for-‘
‘No. No I don’t. Tony I trust with my life. Always have. And he’s always proved me right.’
‘So far.’
‘I’ve worked with him for seven years, Jen.’
‘And he managed not to have your six on the Cape Fear. Remember?’
‘I asked him to stay away. I took the risk to follow that fucker even though it wasn’t the original plan. He has nothing to do with it. Don’t you dare imply the contrary.’
‘Why are you defending him, Jethro?’
‘Because I have his six’, he said. He paused for a moment, before he added: ‘Give him the award, Jen. He’s deserved it.’
‘You know you can’t be in a relationship with him, Jethro. It would never work out.’
‘Dammit, Director, I told you there was nothing between the two of us.’
‘Well, keep it that way.’


Gibbs let out a bark of laughter.


‘Or what? You’ll fire me? Come on, you know you need me in the agency.’
‘You’re sounding awfully full of yourself.’
‘Well, you wouldn’t have put me on… what was that? “Vacation leave”? when I retired? Would you? I mean, if you did not value my worth as an agent.’
‘Every agent here is expendable. One day you’ll be too old for the job and I’ll have to replace you.’
‘I can’t believe you’re saying this. That you don’t care what happens to your agents as long as the agency is running.’
‘Well I do. Care, I mean. But that’s not my job. And I don’t let it interfere.’
‘Yeah. That’s why you became a Director and I am still an agent.’
‘You don’t understand, Jethro. If I got too involved with each one of them-‘
‘Morrow was not “involved”. But he cared. He let us do our job, because he trusted us. But we knew he cared. Why d’you think he accepted that ‘promotion’, huh? Strange coincidence, isn’t it? With the loss of an agent to a fucker from Hamas who was under the protection of all the other agencies?’
‘I’m not…’
‘No you’re not. And the first thing you tried to do when you stepped into this office was try to dissuade me from going after Ari because obviously you trusted a girl who saved your life once more than you trusted me.’
‘Are you jealous, Jethro?’
‘You wish. I’m just saying that Morrow did his job and let us do ours. But you tried to get your filthy hand on the cases as soon as you were in function. By doing that, you got ‘involved’ with the people who work under you.’
‘Nicely put, Jethro.’
‘Hey. Do you think that Morrow would have been as obsessed by a personal cause to completely forget that he had a missing agent whom a minute before was presumed dead?’


Gibbs stared at her, hard.


‘You can’t use people as pawns for your own selfish little vendettas and dispatch them as if they’d done nothing. Yeah, I was in too deep in the Ari case. It may have been a mistake. But I was trying to protect my people, not expose them. You exposed Tony for no good reason-‘
‘Jethro…’
‘You exposed him for no good reason.’


The director rolled her eyes.


‘You did not provide real back up for him. You did not protect him from the CIA. Don’t tell me you saw the look on that guy’s face – smug. He knew Tony’s car was trapped. He knew it. The only thing you cared about at the time was a pissing contest with that bastard and the fact that we had lost La Grenouille. The only regret you had was when you thought Tony was dead. Because of you. And as soon as we knew the body was not his – which by the way did not mean he was alive – the only thing you cared about was that man. It’s bad enough that you used Ducky as well. He had no training for undercover missions – he could have blown his cover at any moment. Nearly did. And the only excuse you gave me for this was that I had done it for Ari. Well no. I didn’t. Not willingly. I can assure you of this. And I did not use my status as a team leader to place somebody undercover with no back up. But you used your status as a Director to do it.’


He took a deep breath and straightened up, glaring down at Jenny who was glaring back. It irked Gibbs to think that he had ‘flirted’ with that woman. And that his first thoughts when he recognized her were not of their partnership, but of a night in Paris they had spent in bed.


‘Done, Special Agent Gibbs?’
‘You give that medal to Tony. There’s not one person in this agency who deserves it more than him this year.’


She did not answer anything, so he shook his head, turned back, and stormed off.[/i]

**
*

‘Do you at least realize what you’re doing, Jenny?’
‘Well, I was only trying to give you an award. You deserve it.’
‘Deserve… deserve… That’s all you can say? Please, Jen, you know I don’t care for that shit. Now you had the possibility to make someone really happy and you throw it all just to “reward” me.’
‘Oh come on, Jethro. He’s not a kid any more. He’s a Special Agent.’
‘Yeah. He’s still a human being. Did you only see his face?’


Jenny wanted to protest – Gibbs could see it. But she couldn’t. She looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.


‘Look. I understand you want me to know you appreciate the results I have on the job. But they’re the team’s. Don’t forget that.’


He looked at her a little longer. When she did not look up, he turned, and came back to the room. The first thing he noticed was the noise – people whispering all around the room. He wondered if their voices had carried through the walls during their little row.

He winced. The first few shouts certainly had.

The second thing he noticed was McGee, trying to help Tony climb down the stairs – which proved to be difficult. And since Tony was pigheaded, he had just given McGee the award to concentrate on getting down the stairs.

Gibbs felt a rush of gratefulness towards McGee, though he knew he too would have been too proud to accept help in Tony’s place.


He brushed past Tony, laying a reassuring hand on his back as he did so, and walked up to Cynthia to pray the award from her hand, before he stepped to the mike.

He opened his mouth and froze. He had just realized where he was and what he was about to do. So very unlike him. And yet… He felt he had to do it.

He took a deep breath.


‘You’re probably wondering what the fuck is going on here. Hell, *I* certainly do.’


People laughed politely in the distance, but he had their undivided attention. He did not like it. It was partly why he never went to those ceremonies.


‘If I was Director of the NCIS, which, fortunately, for every last one of us, I am not, I’d say every special agent, forensic specialist, or even management and security agent here has deserved this.’


He flaunted the award, looking at the crowd.


‘Because every one of us has contributed to put at least one criminal behind bars, directly or indirectly. And if I had to give an award specifically, I’d give it to a whole team. But if only ONE agent had to have this award, I’d say it was Anthony DiNozzo. As his superior, I know how much he puts into his work, waiting or not waiting for congratulations he knows he’ll never get ‘cause I’m a bastard. When things go wrong, he’s here to brighten the mood so that we don’t blow up our heads with our own weapons. He also beat the holds the records of life-threatening wounds acquired in the field. And if anything, he deserves the price for putting up with me for that long.’


This got a chuckle from most of the personnel, but Gibbs did not look towards Tony.


‘But since I’m not the Director, I can’t do it. However, I was awarded this price and – for what it’s worth – I think it it’s in my right to decide if I really deserve it or not. Or who does, better than me. And for the reasons I gave… Which, by all means, really are not all of them, but if I go on like this Special Agent DiNozzo will suffer apoplexy, and he’s an irreplaceable asset to our agency, so I won’t risk that… Well, anyway, I was saying, for the reasons I gave you, I decided to give this to the one man who really deserves it this year. And I know that our Director will soon come to realize how true this is.’


Tony was openly gaping at him, dumbfounded, as Gibbs approached him, a sheepish smile on his face. Gibbs lowered his voice, patting him on the arm.


‘Close your mouth DiNozzo, and you’re staring.’


People were applauding as Gibbs helped a now unresisting Tony down the stairs, up until he sat him down on the wheelchair and leaned towards his ear to whisper ‘Let’s go home’, as people kept staring at them and he knew it would not be to his protégé’s liking.


‘You did not need to do that to keep me at your service, Boss… I’m not leaving you. Yes, the pay is better as a lead agent, but I intend to learn as much as I can. And as long as I can…’
‘Well that’s great ‘cause I’m not letting you go. But I what I said, I meant. Every word of it. Now enjoy the feeling when it lasts, because I won’t get soft on you, DiNozzo, that’s a promise.’


Tony chuckled, blushing a little. Gibbs hoped it was from pleasure. Well, at least he could give him some measure of it somehow.

‘Ya know… It’s strange… But… I think I like it better when it’s you who gives me the award…’
‘Well, Tony… I think I-‘


They had passed the doors already and were well into the corridor when a voice called after them from behind.


‘Anthony?’


Gibbs saw Tony freeze and felt him tense. A second later, he was straightening up, trying to stand on his own, looking for his crutches, and leave his wheelchair.


‘What the-‘, Gibbs started.
‘Hello, Father’, Tony said, interrupting him.