The Mouse Calls...

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or Disney and I'm making no money off of this.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Past child abuse, disturbing memories of abuse(be careful when reading. I tried to do it as tastefully as possible to explain what was seen)
Pairing: Dean/Sam, Dean/others
Summary: Sam wants to talk

Sam opened his eyes quickly as something startled him awake. He nearly panicked when he couldn't see, but realized that it was night. He sat up and stumbled around until he found the light switch and then looked at his watch.

10 o'clock...I thought you were waking me up a couple of hours ago, Dean. The movie doesn't last that long...

He opened the door and was stopped when he heard the noise again. It sounded as if someone was hitting a wall and he frowned as it occurred to him that might be exactly what Dean was doing.

Sure enough, he turned on the hallway light and it illuminated things enough to see that Dean was trying to leave the cabin, but kept missing the door. His hand reached for the doorknob and just kept slapping the wood. Sam moved closer and gasped when he saw how red Dean's hand was.

"Dean..." He carefully turned Dean until he was walking the other way and then helped him back into the bed. He couldn't believe he hadn't woken up.

Sam checked Dean's hand, pleased to see the skin wasn't broken and laid down next to him. He smiled softly. "Is it weird that I like being the one to look after you for once?" He leaned forward and kissed Dean softly. The kiss was a simple one, but Dean deepened it after a moment.

Sam knew that Dean was still asleep and responding naturally, but he couldn't resist taking a bit of pleasure from the man. He didn't break contact between their mouths, but managed to get them both comfortably under the covers. He moaned as he felt himself growing harder and wanted to bury himself in Dean to make the ache go away, but he knew that could never happen until he and Dean talked about their past.

Sam moved to nuzzle Dean's neck and flicked his tongue out to taste him. Dean's hands went around Sam's shoulders and he moaned. "I can do good things to you..."

Sam smirked. Yeah, you can...

And that's when the world fell in just a little more.

Sam sat up, clearly remembering something that couldn't be right. There was no way he had known what was happening to his brother. There was no way he would have let it go on without telling someone. He stared at his brother's face, peaceful again in sleep. "Dean, why don't you hate me?"

Sam was sick of his brother telling him what to do and he was sick of his father taking his side all the time. He was eight years old for God's sake. He could take care of himself.

He threw himself on his bed in the place they had been allowed to stay. It was always nice on the occasions they didn't have to hang in a hotel room, but they had just gotten there yesterday and by the looks of it they'd be leaving in the morning.

He glared at the other bed where his brother usually slept and then he threw a pillow at the empty space. "Butthead!"

He started to cry into the quilt that was spread over the mattress, hoping he could stop before Dean and his father made it back. They had actually yelled at him....in front of a puny troll demon! He had just followed along to see if he could help and they had actually scolded him! Even the demon had told him to 'go home and play with your dolls'.

The door opened and Sam froze. He couldn't let Dean see him cry. He'd just call him a baby.

"Sam? What happened?"

Oh. It was Patrick, the guy they were staying with. Sam thought he was okay, but quiet. He hadn't thought about the fact that he would be home from work already.

Sam shrugged. "My brother's dumb." He lifted his head up and was surprised to see the light fading. He must have been crying longer than he thought.

"Your brother seems like a good kid. What did he do?"

Sam turned toward the wall, still not wanting anyone to see him cry. "He and dad yelled at me and told me to leave because they were fighting the demon."

"Really...that must have made you sad."

"Well, actually my brother is just mad because I got caught."

"Caught?"

"Yeah, he always makes me tag along and says it's fine as long as dad doesn't see. He never leaves me behind. But this time dad found me and Dean turned on me."

"Why didn't your brother just leave you here with me?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

Patrick sighed and started to rub Sam's back. At first it seemed innocent, but then there was something behind it that Sam couldn't really recognize. He tried to turn around, but Patrick pushed him down so he couldn't move and his hand began to trail down his back toward the soft curve of his ass.

Sam was about to cry out, not willing to let Patrick touch him there, when he heard the door open and a frightened gasp. He expected his dad or Dean to start yelling at any moment. He couldn't see who had entered the room, but then there was just the sound of the door closing quietly and someone walking over to them.

Dean's voice, usually strong and angry for a 12-year-old, came out soft and persuasive instead. "Patrick...I'm here now." The sound of innocent wet kisses drifted to Sam's ears and he was angry that the room was getting darker. "Let him rest."

Patrick's once soothing voice seemed annoyed and angry now. "Why should I? What's in it for me?"

Dean's innocence seemed to fade away as Sam felt that he was witnessing something he shouldn't. "I can do good things to you. I'll show you. Just let him rest."

Patrick snickered and got up. "Yeah, I just bet you can."

Sam listened to some weird sounds for a moment before turning his head to watch what was going on. He didn't really understand what he was seeing, but then again he couldn't see that well anymore since nobody turned on the light.

Dean was holding onto Patrick as if his life depended on it and the man was thoroughly kissing Dean. Sam heard slight gagging noises and wondered just how far the guy was shoving his tongue down his brother's throat. That's one thing he did know about...french kissing. Cindy had taught him how by doing it to Dean once in a harmless demonstration according to her.

Then things changed. Dean's clothes were shed quickly and the man was touching him everywhere. Sam's eyes widened as he saw things happen to Dean's body and wondered what was going on. Then the man pushed Dean on the bed and kissed his way down.

Sam looked up at Dean again and saw that the older boy's eyes were fixed on the ceiling and that he was breathing weird...like he was in pain. Then he moaned and clenched his eyes shut as tears fell from them. Sam couldn't take his eyes away, even when Dean turned to look at him. The look was only shared for a second before Sam gasped and closed his eyes, unable to face him at the moment.

When he heard the bed squeak, he opened them again to see the guy lying down and Dean pressed against the wall and the man. "What...what do you want?"

Patrick smiled. "Just touch it." He yanked his pants down and Sam's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He'd never seen a grown man like that before. Sure, he'd seen his dad in the shower, but it never looked like that.

Dean just reached out and began to touch the man as if he were petting a small animal. It seemed to be taking awhile and the guy grabbed Dean's wrist. "Make it better or I'll flip you over and tear you in two."

Dean swallowed and nodded. He held the man in a loose fist and continued to move his hand, but his other one reached between Patrick's legs. Sam couldn't see what happened, but whatever Dean did sent Patrick into fits and finally all this white stuff hit Dean in the face.

Patrick laughed and pushed Dean away from him. "Cindy was right about you. You know how to earn your keep." He pulled his pants back on and sighed. "Wash up." He walked out the door.

Dean grabbed his shirt and wiped up before falling on the bed, still naked. Sam was horrified to hear him crying.

He just got up and left, wondering where his father was.

Dean didn't say a word.

Sam walked out and saw John sleeping on the couch. It was apparent that he'd been injured in the battle and Sam didn't want to wake him, but he didn't have a choice. He poked his dad's arm a few times and he groaned and opened his eyes. "What is it, Sammy?"

"Dean's crying."

"Sam...you need to learn to keep your mouth shut, kiddo. I'm sure he didn't want me knowing that."

Sam nodded. "But Patrick was in there and-"

"Sam! If Patrick was able to calm Dean down, that's fine. I don't want to hear about it, though."

"But he was rubbing my back and-"

John sighed. "Sammy, enough. Please...I really don't need to be told that other men are doing a better job with you boys than I am. Please go to bed."

Sam frowned and nodded his head. He walked back in the room, convinced that he had no clue what he was talking about and feeling the memory his dad planted making more sense.

He saw Dean lying in his bed and just flopped down in his, glad that he had seen Dean cry. Now Dean couldn't make fun of him if he did the same thing.

Sam hadn't noticed that he started rocking back and forth as he let himself remember witnessing the abuse. He had heard what Cindy did to Dean and he had seen what Patrick had done and yet...

A thought came to Sam quickly and unbidden and he scrambled up to grab his father's journal. He sat back on the bed and thumbed through it until he came to the page about 'The Network'.

It was a group of places his father had told them they could go if they ever got separated. He called it 'The Network' because they were all trusted based on one person's word.

Sam glared at the name at the top of the page and knew that once this trip was done he was making a personal visit to the head of the network. Cindy...wait until you've seen how I've grown, bitch...

"What are you doing?"

Sam slammed the journal shut and looked at his brother. "Looking at something."

Dean stretched and looked around at the darkened room. "Sorry, Sammy. I guess I fell asleep. We can run down to that restaurant and get the buffet."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. But Dean..." He paled and looked down at the closed book of lies in his lap.

"Yeah?" Dean scooted until he was sitting next to his brother and wrapped his arms around him. "What's going on? I hate seeing you upset."

"Dean, you've always looked out for me, haven't you?"

"It's my job." He sighed and leaned back as he thought about earlier that day. "But I failed you sometimes, didn't I?"

"What? No, why would you think that?"

Dean shook his head, too ashamed to think of what might have happened to his brother. He remembered saving Sam a few times, but what if there were times he hadn't? "I just need you to know that I love you and that anything you suffered through...is my fault and I'm sorry."

Sam couldn't speak. He couldn't think straight. He was being asked for forgiveness by the man who had let himself be molested in his place!

Sam got up and paced back and forth, willing the words to come forward so that everything could finally be out in the open. The words wouldn't come and he knew that he needed more time. "Food sounds good."

Dean watched Sam get ready and then did the same. "You sure you're okay?"

Sam nodded. "Let's just go eat. We can talk later. We still have over half of our trip left."

Dean smiled. "Alright, little brother. Anything you say." He hugged Sam tightly, not wanting to let go, but knowing that Sam would start to wonder what was wrong if he didn't.

He walked out ahead of Sam and the two began discussing the various choices at the restaurant and teasing each other about who could eat more, but the entire time the same thought was torturing them both in their minds.

You deserve better than me.

TBC...