Spirals of the Mind

Title: Spirals of the Mind: Chapter 7
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Highlander
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: angst,
Timeline: Ritchie is dead, and Methos is on the scene.
Characters: Duncan/Joe/Methos/Kaiya (OC)
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome!
Summary: The crossing of lives and loves; they come and go.
Author’s Notes: Again, just a fragment of thought to play with the characters. I don’t know if there is enough out of these portions to go back and fully generate a proper story and expand upon it.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Highlander’, nor am I making any profits from this.

Chapter 7

“So,” her voice reached him before the distinct buzz, making him spin around. “Why did Joe tell me I had to come here to see you?”

Kaiya stood there, ankle deep in water, brown legs standing firmly amongst the rocks. It had been a long time since he had last seen her. Her face brought back so many memories, not just of her, but also of Ritchie. He felt another jolt in his psyche – as though Ritchie’s quickening was responding to her presence also, for it was a different response, a different sensation to what he felt for her. It was completely disconcerting. He saw her eyes narrow, as though sensing that something wasn’t quite right, that something was wrong with him but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She waded a bit closer, perching on top of a rock and dangling her feet in the water.

He found his voice finally. “What are you doing here?” he questioned.

She cocked her head to one side. “I got a very cryptic message, left for me via a couple of different Watchers, saying Joe was trying to find me. The message said it was absolutely essential I get back, completely urgent, so I came as soon as I could. When I found Joe, he just sent me here and told me I had to see you and talk to you, then I would understand. It was all a bit mysterious, but I came anyway. So can you shed some light on this situation?”

Duncan swallowed. Why had Joe sent for her, sent her here? Now of all times! He felt a surge of anger towards Joe’s interfering, but then squashed it. He was right; she had a right to know. More than anyone else, she had a right. And she had to hear it from him, all of it, completely. It was his penance; he owed her, and he owed it to Ritchie’s memory to do this. He took a deep breath. He had done many difficult things in his long life, told many people of the loss of their loved ones, but this was time it was much harder.

“What’s wrong, Duncan?” she said, her voice quiet in the stillness of the wilderness.

He looked up at her. There was no easy way to say this, to break the news to her. “Ritchie’s gone.” He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘dead’, even though that was the case. He saw her face go white, her eyes widen, staring at him. Her lips partially opened as though to deny his words. Her clasped fingers around her knees tightened till they were white.

She blinked through the tears forming in her bright eyes. “You are like the angel of death to me, Duncan.” she said brokenly, every word piercing his soul. “First Darius, then Fitz. Now, Ritchie. Always telling me of the loss of a loved one, and I have so few of them.” She swallowed and scrubbed a hand over her face, brushing tears away. “How?” she asked.

His heart froze at this question, the question he had been dreading. He swallowed again and looked her in the eyes, not shrinking from his responsibility. “Me.” he said quietly but firmly.

He saw her eyes widen again, this time flashing fire. She slowly stood to her feet, her lithe body unfolding like a hunting cat, ready to spring. Her hand went to her side as though seeking the sword she didn’t have.

“You killed Ritchie.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“Yes. It was an accident. I never meant to.” he said, wanting to explain to her how it was, beg her forgiveness, have her give him absolution.

“An accident.” she murmured, not taking her eyes from him. Suddenly she sprang toward him, leaping across the remaining distance that separated them. He reached out, startled completely at this sudden move, feeling her weight strike him and force him backwards to land flat in the shallow water. He felt a sudden sharp pain, and glanced down to see the hilt of the knife buried deep in his heart. He hadn’t seen her draw it. His eyes rose to meet hers, fierce with a primeval fury that he had never seen before, surprised.

“Know this is no accident.” she whispered fiercely to him, and twisted the knife as he fell into the cold water, death taking him.

He came to with a gasp of shock, sitting up and shaking the water from his hair.

“Never could get used to that, no matter how many times I’ve seen it.” Joe said, sitting awkwardly on the bank. “I couldn’t get you out, sorry,” he was saying, indicating his canes and legs. “But I did remove this.” He held up the long bladed knife, darkened with blood. “Didn’t think you wanted it still stuck in you. Want it for a memento?”

Duncan waded unsteadily over to Joe, one hand to his still aching chest, and collapsed next to him. He took the knife proffered by Joe. “I’ll return it to its owner.” he wheezed. “How come you’re here?”

“I suddenly realised that I might have made a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“In sending her to you.”

“ No. You were right.” Duncan said.

“Oh, I know I was right in that part, and I knew that she would respect holy ground and not take your head. But then I thought about it after she had gone, and remembered that she could still do a lot of damage in other ways. I was right, wasn’t I? I gather this is her handiwork?”

“Oh, yes.” Duncan stated, rubbing again at his chest. “It was her alright.”

“Guess your talk didn’t go too well, eh?”

“As well as could be expected, with the circumstances.” said Duncan. “I just told her, her lover was dead and I was the one who killed him. In all, I think she took it quite well.” He laughed with little humour, and sighed. “I’ll have to find her. Try to talk to her again. She’s on her own at the moment, she has no-one to mourn with.”

“She really did love Ritchie, didn’t she?” Joe said, swirling the water at his feet with his cane.

“Oh, yes. She loved him with all she had. He knew that too. That’s one thing neither of us ever doubted about her.” He got to his feet and helped Joe to his. “Come on.” he said. “Let’s get back.” and he began to help Joe across the rocks.

It must have been arduous for Joe to get to him on his own over these rocks in the river bed. Duncan was warmed by this show of concern from his friend. When they got back to the boats, Duncan rowed them towards shore, and they headed back to town.

They reached Joe’s place and he poured them drinks. “Where do you think she’ll go?” Joe asked.

“I’ll try Ritchie’s old place, after that?” he shrugged.

After finishing his drink, and armed with a list of locations that he and Joe had compiled together where Kaiya might have gone, Duncan headed off to search for her. She wasn’t at Richie’s old place, or any of his other haunts, nor was she at Duncan’s place. After scouring every possible place he could think off he finally conceded defeat. Dejected, he wandered back to Joe’s. As he entered the door, Joe spotted him and waved him over.

“You have a visitor.” motioning his head towards the direction of the still room. “She doesn’t have a sword, I checked.”

“Thanks, Joe.” Duncan said and entered the back.

Kaiya sat on a crate, wrapped in a long coat, her face still looking haunted. He walked over to her and extended the knife, hilt first to her, placed over his forearm in the gesture of giving and surrender. She reached up silently and took it, laying it in her lap.

“Joe said I should listen to you.” she said quietly. “So I will listen.”

Duncan seated himself opposite her and began to speak, telling her everything, all the issues, problems, hallucinations, the trap, the accident, the horror of the aftermath, how both Ritchie and Joe were pulled into the machinations of the demon. He told her of how he was finally able to defeat the demon’s power, and its subsequent banishment, although the victory left a bitter taste in his mouth due to the great loss that had been suffered along the way.

Through it all, Kaiya didn’t look up, didn’t interrupt, just remained completely motionless. He reached the end of the tale, and still she didn’t move.

“I know you are angry and hurting. I can’t forgive myself for that night. I had wanted Ritchie to see many centuries from now, experience all the wonders that occur through the ages, to learn so much. I thought we would have so long together as friends, instead we only had a handful of years.” Duncan’s voice choked up. “He was the son I never had, and could never have. I had thought he would carry on, and now he is gone, and I can’t even take revenge for his death because I was the one responsible for it.”

“Yes.” she said almost in a whisper.

Duncan stood up and walked over to her, holding his arms out. “If you want to put that knife in my heart again, do so.” She said nothing.

Duncan looked down at her bowed head, the silence stretching. Then he shrugged out of his coat and knelt before her. “Take my sword.” he said, placing it at her feet. “Take my head. Take your revenge.”

He watched as her hands wrapped tightly around his katana, and bowed his head. She would do it. He knew she could. It was fitting that she be the one to do so, then Ritchie could be with her always, and that was right to. He felt the cold touch of steel across the back of his neck, barely touching. She would strike cleanly, and it would all be over in a moment.

Joe stood in the shadows of the door with his gun, ready to fire. Would he be quick enough to prevent the fall of the sword if she struck? Should he interfere? He seriously had to wonder, he was very unclear in this.

The feel of the sword left his neck, and he waited for the blow to fall. Instead, he felt the touch of her hand gently on the back of his neck where the steel had been, and his katana was laid on the ground in front of his bent knees. “No.” she said softly. “You will live with this.” she placed the curse with her softly spoken words. “As must I.”

Joe uncocked his gun, watching the scene, seeing the silent tears run down her face. He made his way back to the bar, leaving them.

Duncan raised his head, her hand lifting from the quiet benediction she had given him. He remained on his knees before her. “I am so sorry.” he whispered hoarsely, tears in his eyes.

She looked at him, grief mirrored in hers. “I know.” and she pulled his head to her lap where he cried.

As she left, she said to Joe. “Give him a bottle, and drink with him. He needs to forget for a time.”

“You wont drink with him?”

She shook her head, face tight and drawn. “I wish to say goodbye to a loved one.” and she left.

Joe took down a bottle and went to the back. Duncan was now sitting on a crate, cradling his katana. Joe handed him a drink. “Is she going to stay around?” he asked Duncan.

“Maybe.” was Duncan’s weary reply. “She’s gone to Ritchie’s grave.” He and Joe had ensured Ritchie had been properly buried.

“What happens now?” Joe asked.

Duncan looked up, “We go on.” he replied.

But things will never be the same again, thought Joe. Not between these two. And he was so right Because even though Kaiya still loved Duncan, a part of her could never forgive him for taking Ritchie from her. She could never be intimate with Duncan, without wondering if she could sense Ritchie within him. Finally the love triangle was completely, and irrevocably, shattered.

Three days later Kaiya turned up in Joe’s that evening. No-one knew that she had gone to Ritchie’s grave that first night and cried all night against the headstone, haunting his final resting place for the next few days. Finally she walked away – accepting he was completely gone, lost to her, and would not be returning. Now she had to go back to living, as she had always done before.

Joe saw her as she entered. He was talking to a ferret-faced man, with dark hair. She felt the buzz, just as the man turned to look at her. Joe beckoned her forward as she hesitated, so she continued. He reached out, and in an uncharacteristic move, wrapped an arm around her in a hug, which she returned.

“You okay?” he asked her.

She shrugged. “Maybe, some day.” she replied honestly.

Joe turned her to the man who had silently watched this exchange. “Kaiya, I’d like you to meet Adam. Adam, this is Kaiya.”

Kaiya and Adam sized each other up through narrowed eyes. Each sensed things that their long years of living had left their mark. “So how old are you?” she asked bluntly. He raised an eyebrow.

“What does it matter?” he asked.

“There’s an air about you that denotes age, and the way Joe said you name, there was too much respect and almost….awe, I would say. He would only sound like that for someone very old, and that means far older than Duncan, or even myself. So that puts you quite old.”

Adam looked at Joe. “She’s good.”

“Told you she didn’t miss much.”

“So?” she interrupted.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” she said forthrightly.

“Okay. About 5000 - give or take.”

She looked at Joe. “So you finally found your Methos?” she said.

Adam turned to Joe also, scowling. “Does everyone bloody know about me?” he said in exasperation.

“Comes from being a legend.” Joe said with a smile.

Methos turned back to Kaiya. “So you are?” referring to her age.

“4000, give or take a century.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Thought I knew of all the old immortals. Your name doesn’t come up.”

“I try to make certain it doesn’t.”

“So you know Duncan?”

“Yes.”

“Been here long?”

“No.”

“Staying long?”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t talk much, do you?”

“No.”

“Okay.” he said, taking a long drink of his beer. “Let’s start again. I’m Methos, the living legend, everyone wants to take my head, if they can find me. You’re Kaiya, one time lover of Duncan, probably second oldest immortal to me, with almost complete anonymity, so no-one wants to take your head as they don’t even know you exist. You know Joe, obviously through Duncan, and are on good enough terms to get a hug from him. Though he’s hardly likely to pass up the opportunity to get his hands on a beautiful woman. You seem upset about something, which accounts for Joe’s solicitation, and perhaps your monosyllabic answers.” he paused.

“Perhaps.” she replied. “Or perhaps not.”

He rolled his eyes, and took another long swallow of beer. “Well, between you and Duncan, we should be having a royal wake. He’s still moping over his student, Ritchie. Nice kid, but really way too headstrong to have lasted much longer.”

He stopped as all his survival instincts went into overdrive. Looking up, he saw her glaring at him, grief and rage warring with each other. She turned on her heel without another word, and left.

Joe saw her go as he was coming back from getting further drinks. “What did you say to her?” he demanded of Methos as he arrived.

“It’s not my fault!” Methos defended himself. “You never told me she knew Ritchie!”

“Oh, no!” Joe said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “You didn’t mention Ritchie, did you?” knowing that is exactly what occurred.

“Well, how was I to know?” Methos complained. “Over-reaction a bit, isn’t it?”

Joe took a seat, to try and set the record straight. “Kaiya loved Ritchie. They lived together. They were lovers.” he spelt out for Methos.

“You told me it was Duncan she had been with.”

“Yes.” Joe said patiently.

Finally the penny dropped. “Oh.” Methos finally said. “She was with both of them.”

“At different times, and because it caused problems between Duncan and Ritchie, she left.”

“Terribly noble of her. How has she survived so long with sentiments like that?”

“Obviously she has.”

“So, she still loved Ritchie?”

Joe nodded sombrely. “And only found out a few days ago that he was dead.”

“Does she know how? And who?” Methos asked.

“Yes.”

“Not taking it too well then?”

“She’ll cope.”

“So she’s back with Duncan?”

Joe shook his head. “I think that part is finally over between them. Ritchie dead is a bigger wedge, than Ritchie alive.”

“Really? Is that what Duncan feels?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Joe said.

“I’ll do just that.” Methos said. “Night, Joe.”

“Night, Adam.” and he watched Methos exit.

He hoped that Methos wasn’t intending to pursue Kaiya as the conversation seemed to indicate. Most likely it was just Methos being perverse about something as he was wont to be at times. Joe sighed and got back to work. He was hoping things would soon settle now, and they could all begin to heal.

Duncan opened the door to the knock, hand holding his sword at the ready as he had felt the buzz. Methos stood grinning on the other side, and as soon as the door was open wide enough, he walked himself inside making for the kitchen.

“Why don’t you come in?” Duncan said wryly, used to Methos’ ways. Duncan put his sword back and walked to the lounge where a drink stood and the TV was going. Methos opened the fridge, removed a beer, opening and tossing the cap behind the fridge as was his wont. Duncan ignored his actions now, it was useless tyring to stop Methos in anything.

“So, I met Kaiya this evening.” Methos dropped into the silence. Methos watched closely as Duncan froze, and then turned in the lounge to look at him. Duncan saw Methos perched on the bar stool, taking a drink from the beer bottle.

“Where?” Duncan managed to choke out.

“At Joe’s.” Methos answered. He watched Duncan closely. Oh yes, Duncan still loved her, he thought, but how much after all this? So he continued to probe. “She was rather upset. Joe was very solicitous.”

“Was she okay though?” Duncan asked worriedly.

Methos shrugged, “I don’t know. I mentioned Ritchie and off she went.”

Duncan’s face blanched and he shut his eyes. “You shouldn’t have done that.” he said.

“‘How was I supposed to know?” Methos demanded sounding wounded. “You and Joe didn’t bother enlightening me that she knew Ritchie.”

“She more than just knew him.”

“Really?” Methos probed some more.

Duncan took a swallow from his drink, finished it, then standing and going to pour another. “She loved him.”

“Thought it was supposed to be you?” said Methos blandly.

Duncan turned, drink in hand. “Once. Long ago.” He went back to the counter to lean opposite Methos, drinking deeply.

“So she loved Ritchie more?” Methos said off-handedly, not looking at Duncan.

“No. She just loved us at different times, and at the same time.” Duncan took another swallow. “Anyway, that’s all over now.” He made his way back to the lounge.

“Is it? Sounds like you’re still in love with her.” Methos said bluntly.

“I am.” acknowledged Duncan. “But we’re not together.”

“Give it a few months for her to get over the shock of Ritchie, and get back together with her.”

Duncan shook his head firmly. “No. We won’t be partners again. I do love her still, that won’t change, but it’s as a very, very dear friend, and there’s a lot for me to make up to her before she’ll go back to accepting me as that. But we won’t be lovers again.”

“I reckon the first time you see her take an interest in someone else, or vice versa, the green eyed monster will rear its ugly head in jealousy, and you’ll change your tune.” Methos still didn’t focus completely on Duncan, trying to sound abstract and succeeding, as he continued to dig deeper and deeper.

“I won’t say it wouldn’t be hard to see.” Duncan admitted, “but as long as she was happy I’d stand by her all the way, I wouldn’t interfere. But if they hurt her....” and he left the threat unfinished but it hung in the air with deadly intent, and Methos was in absolutely no doubt that Duncan truly meant it and would gladly follow through the threat.

“You really think you could handle seeing her with someone else? Or seeing someone else interested in her?” he said, putting scepticism in his voice.

Duncan leant back and answered. “Yes. For her sake, I do.” and Methos left it there. He had what he wanted.

“Well, I’m off.” he said standing, and leaving the empty beer bottle on the counter.

“Can’t offer you another drink, a meal?” Duncan said jokingly.

“Another time.” Methos said airily, with a jaunty wave as he let himself out of Duncan’s apartment.

Duncan smiled as he left. Methos was a real character, definitely one of a kind. Then he frowned for a moment. It was unlike Methos to be so curious about personal aspects. He had asked a lot of questions about he and Kaiya. I wonder why? Duncan mentally shrugged. Guess it just quirked his curiousity about her, seeing as he had never come across her in the Watchers chronicles. Duncan smiled. Probably pricked his professional pride.

Methos thought hard as he walked away from Duncan’s apartment. So Duncan would stand back, he thought. It wouldn’t be all smooth sailing he knew that, for all of Duncan’s noble intentions, but he had absolute faith that Duncan would stand back completely, and he wouldn’t try to get back with Kaiya.

He would have to watch Joe also. He’s acting distinctly very fatherly to her, a role Methos hadn’t seen in him before. He shook his head in exasperation . She certainly had them all stirred up. How she’s managed to stay out of the Watcher’s knowledge for so long if this is what happens to males when she’s around, he didn’t know. If Ritchie were here he would probably be facing an all out fight! He sobered for a moment, thinking of the young immortal. If Ritchie were here, I wouldn’t be planning to do what I intend to do, he thought, and he resolutely walked off into the night to plan his strategy.