Sweet Salvation
folder
CSI › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
41
Views:
4,349
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
CSI › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
41
Views:
4,349
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own CSI, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A hidden past
Chapter 7
A hidden past
Catherine managed to get the rest of the night off. Grissom agreed with her, but I guess that she can get him to do anything she wanI waI was restless and asked Catherine to drive by my old place. At this point, I wished really hard that it was still mine, so that I at least had a place to go to when I couldn’t work things out with Cath. You never knew how things would end, but I knew that I at least had to give Catherine the truth, even though I had been hiding it for over three years. Actually, to be honest I hadn’t hidden anything, I just hadn’t told anyone about it.
I was just on my way back to the break room when Catherine called my name. “Ready to go home?” She asked me, I just nodded. Not able to say anything else. I wished that this whole talk was already over.
Catherine pulled up in front of my old apartment building, I still had to put my belongings into storage somewhere, but then again who knew what tomorrow would bring. I opened the door and told Catherine that I would be back real soon.
I opened the door to my apartment and immediately walked into the room that I called my office, but I had never used it like that. I searched between the boxes until I found what I was looking for. I knew that it would be a long night and probably a long day. I closed the door behind me and got back into the car. Catherine smiled at me but I could see in her eyes how worried she was. The drive home was filled with a painful silence.
I carried the box into the house and sat it down next to the couch. I grabbed some glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels; I really needed a drink. Catherine sat down on the couch waiting for me to start my story. “I’d better start at the beginning, I want to give you an image of my life. And it would be better if you knew everything.”
<< Flashback >>
Summer 1983, Tamalas bay California
I was around the age of twelve when I first started noticing that I was more interested in girls then I was in boys. I didn’t know what to do with it, it wasn’t really something that I could talk about with my parents and besides I was to busy with school and my parents B&B. Besides that I didn’t have a sister or any close friends that I could talk too about my feelings and my fears. So I just decided to push the feelings away and cover it with a new goal. I wanted to go to a university, and not just any university I wanted to go to Harvard. So my parents and actually everyone else saw me as a science nerd and that was that.
Fall 1988, Tamalas bay California
I never had any real friends until I went to high school, I met a girl there, her name was Ameilia. I called her Amy, we found out that we had a lot in common and we were inseparable. We did everything together and well most people thought that we where really close friends, and that we hung together because no one else would want to talk to us science nerds. But Amy and I had passed the stage of friendship a long time ago. We loved each other and no one ever found out because we weren’t interesting enough. It was the best time in my life, until one day Amy’s brother caught us while we where kissing. He told Amy’s father, who was furious. Amy was afraid to go home, but I told her that we could make it together if we just held on to each other and believed in the things that we saw as important. Amy went home and I never saw her again. Her dad hit her and she fell, her head hitting the edge of the table. She was in a coma for four weeks and then she died. Her dad made it pretty clear to my parents that I was to blame for his daughter’s death. He told them everything and my parents were furious. I graduated that summer and I got into Harvard.
<< End flashback >>
I was crying, the pain of Amy’s loss was still present. “I never got to say goodbye.” Catherine leaned into me and pulled me into a hug. “I wasn’t allowed to visit her in the ICU and I never went to her funeral. I just left as fast as I could, going on to Harvard trying to act like nothing happened.”
Catherine soothed me until my sobs subsided.
<< Flashback >>
During my time at Harvard: I had some friends but I was too afraid to tell them about my past and my feelings. I fell in love with this incredible girl in my class, she became on of my best friends but of course she was as straight as anyone could be. Just the thought of two girls together grossed her out. I had some one night stands but nothing mayor. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and besides that my friends kept hooking me up with guys all the time and I did what I was supposed to do; I dated them. Then one day we had this lecture from Griss at the university and I was really interested in his lecture and I wanted to know more about his job. We drank some coffee and talked for a while, he gave me his phone number and told that I could call him when I was ready with my education if I didn’t mind working with the dead.
I never came back on his offer, but we stayed in contact every once in a while and when I graduated, I wanted to go back to ‘Frisco. Although I don’t know why, there was nothing left for me there. But I got a job offer from the Coroner’s office and I took it. I did the same when I started working for the Coroner’s office. I started dating guys again, I was afraid to lose my job, I worked so hard to achieve what I did and I didn’t want to lose over something as stupid as my sexual preference. I even got myself so far that I believed that I wasn’t interested in women anymore. Nevertheless every once in a while I woke up next to a woman.
Until …
<< End flashback >>
Again I was crying, it was so hard talking about the things that I had left in the past. The things that I had considered to be a closed topic, not ever wanting to speak about it again; but the hardest part was still to come.
A hidden past
Catherine managed to get the rest of the night off. Grissom agreed with her, but I guess that she can get him to do anything she wanI waI was restless and asked Catherine to drive by my old place. At this point, I wished really hard that it was still mine, so that I at least had a place to go to when I couldn’t work things out with Cath. You never knew how things would end, but I knew that I at least had to give Catherine the truth, even though I had been hiding it for over three years. Actually, to be honest I hadn’t hidden anything, I just hadn’t told anyone about it.
I was just on my way back to the break room when Catherine called my name. “Ready to go home?” She asked me, I just nodded. Not able to say anything else. I wished that this whole talk was already over.
Catherine pulled up in front of my old apartment building, I still had to put my belongings into storage somewhere, but then again who knew what tomorrow would bring. I opened the door and told Catherine that I would be back real soon.
I opened the door to my apartment and immediately walked into the room that I called my office, but I had never used it like that. I searched between the boxes until I found what I was looking for. I knew that it would be a long night and probably a long day. I closed the door behind me and got back into the car. Catherine smiled at me but I could see in her eyes how worried she was. The drive home was filled with a painful silence.
I carried the box into the house and sat it down next to the couch. I grabbed some glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels; I really needed a drink. Catherine sat down on the couch waiting for me to start my story. “I’d better start at the beginning, I want to give you an image of my life. And it would be better if you knew everything.”
<< Flashback >>
Summer 1983, Tamalas bay California
I was around the age of twelve when I first started noticing that I was more interested in girls then I was in boys. I didn’t know what to do with it, it wasn’t really something that I could talk about with my parents and besides I was to busy with school and my parents B&B. Besides that I didn’t have a sister or any close friends that I could talk too about my feelings and my fears. So I just decided to push the feelings away and cover it with a new goal. I wanted to go to a university, and not just any university I wanted to go to Harvard. So my parents and actually everyone else saw me as a science nerd and that was that.
Fall 1988, Tamalas bay California
I never had any real friends until I went to high school, I met a girl there, her name was Ameilia. I called her Amy, we found out that we had a lot in common and we were inseparable. We did everything together and well most people thought that we where really close friends, and that we hung together because no one else would want to talk to us science nerds. But Amy and I had passed the stage of friendship a long time ago. We loved each other and no one ever found out because we weren’t interesting enough. It was the best time in my life, until one day Amy’s brother caught us while we where kissing. He told Amy’s father, who was furious. Amy was afraid to go home, but I told her that we could make it together if we just held on to each other and believed in the things that we saw as important. Amy went home and I never saw her again. Her dad hit her and she fell, her head hitting the edge of the table. She was in a coma for four weeks and then she died. Her dad made it pretty clear to my parents that I was to blame for his daughter’s death. He told them everything and my parents were furious. I graduated that summer and I got into Harvard.
<< End flashback >>
I was crying, the pain of Amy’s loss was still present. “I never got to say goodbye.” Catherine leaned into me and pulled me into a hug. “I wasn’t allowed to visit her in the ICU and I never went to her funeral. I just left as fast as I could, going on to Harvard trying to act like nothing happened.”
Catherine soothed me until my sobs subsided.
<< Flashback >>
During my time at Harvard: I had some friends but I was too afraid to tell them about my past and my feelings. I fell in love with this incredible girl in my class, she became on of my best friends but of course she was as straight as anyone could be. Just the thought of two girls together grossed her out. I had some one night stands but nothing mayor. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and besides that my friends kept hooking me up with guys all the time and I did what I was supposed to do; I dated them. Then one day we had this lecture from Griss at the university and I was really interested in his lecture and I wanted to know more about his job. We drank some coffee and talked for a while, he gave me his phone number and told that I could call him when I was ready with my education if I didn’t mind working with the dead.
I never came back on his offer, but we stayed in contact every once in a while and when I graduated, I wanted to go back to ‘Frisco. Although I don’t know why, there was nothing left for me there. But I got a job offer from the Coroner’s office and I took it. I did the same when I started working for the Coroner’s office. I started dating guys again, I was afraid to lose my job, I worked so hard to achieve what I did and I didn’t want to lose over something as stupid as my sexual preference. I even got myself so far that I believed that I wasn’t interested in women anymore. Nevertheless every once in a while I woke up next to a woman.
Until …
<< End flashback >>
Again I was crying, it was so hard talking about the things that I had left in the past. The things that I had considered to be a closed topic, not ever wanting to speak about it again; but the hardest part was still to come.