My Big Phat JAG Wedding

“We’re not getting married at Sea World are we?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Good because I don’t want Shamu in my wedding party. Listen, I need to find me a dress and start thinking about what the other ladies will wear.”

“You want me to pick you up and we can go to the mall?”

“Sounds about right, I’ll pick up lunch. You can bring Little A.J. and we’ll spend the day together. I’ll call Bobbi and Meredith. I hate leaving Chloe out but she’s not out of school yet.”

“Oh Mac, I’ve got another call. I’ll talk to you in a few.”

Mac hangs up and calls the Admiral’s place. Meredith moved in a couple weeks ago, as a trial of living together.

“Hello? Oh yes, A.J.”

“Meredith, Is this a bad time,” Mac asks, not quite sure what she’s hearing.

“Oh no Mac, it’s not. Hang on a sec. Oh god yes, A.J. Right there.”

“Look Meredith, I’ll call back.”

“Nonsense. A. J. is just giving me a foot rub. What can I help you with,” she asks hoping that Mac can’t hear her blushing as A.J. pulls out and hides in the bathroom.

“I was wondering if you could come along with Harriet, Little A.J., and Bobbi if she’s available, and I to the mall to go dress shopping for the bridesmaids and myself.”

“Well, I kind of made plans with A.J., so can I take a rain check?”

“Yeah sure. If we find anything we’ll let you know.”

“Ok. Bye Mac,” Mac hangs up and rolls all over the bed laughing.

“Foot rub, my foot. Now on to Bobbi.”


“Hello?”

bi, bi, how would you like to go shopping with Harriet, Little A.J. and I?”

“Sounds great. What are we shopping for or does it matter?”

“Bridesmaid’s dresses and the bride’s dress. Maybe something for the honeymoon…”

“Hmm. I’m there.”

“Ok if you can make it to my place, Harriet is picking me up.”

“Great. See you soon…”


Mac calls Harriet back.

rietriet, it’s just you, me, Bobbi, and Little A.J.”

“Ok. I’m on the other line with my dad. I’ll be leaving in about a half an hour, so I can finish with dad and get Little A.J ready.”

“Great. That gives Bobbi time to get here.”


“I’m back dad. So what did you find out?”

“I have six confirmed and I’m working on the other three from your list. I hope you have songs for them to sing.”

“My god dad, you’re going to make me faint. Oh yes, I have songs for them. Please call me or leave me a message where I can get a hold of the six confirmed and what happens with the last three.”

“I will honey. Even though your mother doesn’t like Mac much, she’s actually trying to help. She wants to know when she’s going to see her grandson. She’s on her way to tell the chef what to make for lunch.”

“Thank her for me would you? Well if you can hang in there we’ll be in Orlando in April for the wedding.”

“Yeah sure baby. We could come up and baby sit him at Walt Disney World if you and Bud want to have some fun.”

“That would be great. Thanks dad. I’ve gotta run. I’m late picking Mac and Bobbi up to go bridesmaid dress shopping. Bye.”

Harriet hangs up and manages to get to Mac’s with Little A.J. dressed and raring to go to the mall. She is so excited she wants to bust. Six! Six of them confirmed! She wants to share so badly, but she keeps quiet, at least until Bud gets home. The ladies have a successful shopping trip. They pick out navy blue dresses with forest green wraps and gloves. Mac finds a dress similar to the one she bought for the MacKenzie-Brumby wedding. Mac decides to tackle looking for a ring for Harm even though she knows she has the special ring she had made for Harm before they went to Australia. This one would have to be able to fit into that ring. After they were married Harm could get the rings bonded together as one. Harm and the guys spend par the the day looking for a ring and then they spend the rest of the evening at Sturgis’ place watching guy movies. Mostly, Top Gun, Hunt for Red October, Star Trek 4, U571, A Few Good Men, etc.


MacKenzie-Rabb Apartment.
2909 P St NW, Washington. D.C.
6:00 p.m.

The day goes by so fast and it gets to be late. Mac waits for Harm on the sofa in a black spandex mini skirt she found in the bottom of her dresser and a peach t-shirt. She waits and waits for Harm. Little Ham, a black and grhorthorthaired cat, comes in, jumps up on the sofa, and puts his head on Mac’s lap. Mac gets up and feeds him some dinner, thinking Harm is just running a little late. After eating, Little Ham goes to his new hiding spot to clean his coat in privacy. Mac checks her inner clock again. It is now 9p.m. She is really beginning to worry. She dials up Harm’s cell number and gets the answering service.

“Harm, are you there? I thought we had a date tonight,” Mac says then hangs up.

The anger is making her blood pressure rise. Had he stood her up? The truth is that Harm had been stuck in fic fic on his way back from the Robert’s from dropping Bud off, and had forgotten to turn on his phone. He realizes this and turns it on to the phone ringing and he answers it.


“Hello?”

“Are you sitting down,” the low sultry female voice asks.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now what are you wearing?”

“Who is this? What do you want?”

The voice is silent for a fewentsents then, “what are you wearing,” the warm demanding voice asks.

Harm pulls over in his SUV in a safe darea,rea, and crawls into the backseat, and sprawls across it. Leaning on the door for support.

“I’m wearing blue jeans, gray sweatshirt, socks, work boots,” Harm replies, this call beginning to turn him on, “You know what I’m wearing Mac.”

“Hmm, take your socks and boots off now,” the voice growling like a tigress.


Mac stifles a laugh as she hears the cell phone drop on the floor of the SUV as Harm complies with her voice. Then Harm picks the phone back up and cradles the phone to his ear.

“Now I want you to pull off your sweatshirt and toss it,” says the wicked voice.

Mac goes upstaind knd kicks off her pumps, “I want you to unbutton your jeans and slide down the zipper slowly,” says evil Mac as she climbs up on the bed.

“As you wish Mistress,” says Harm teasing a little.

“Yes. I wish. Slip off your jeans and plant them next to your sweatshirt,” Harm does so and plays along with Mac’s game.


Now he is sprawling in the back, completely in the buff, phone in his left hand, and his right hand behind his head. Mac takes the big clip from her hair and lets it fall. She leans up against her pillows and continues.

“What is your name?”

“Harm, what’s yours Mistress?”

“Well Harm, you don’t deserve to know my name. You have been such a bad boy. Are you ready for your punishment?”

“Yes Mistress.”

“Harm, I want you to touch yourself. Close your eyes and touch your chest, touch your breast and the nipple, tease it until it becomes hard and don’t stop. Then repeat on the other side.”

Harm begins to do as she asks, closing his eyes and rubbing his spread out hand across his chest. He takes a nipple in between his fingers and begins to almost torture it. He stops when it turns all red and aches bad. Then he starts to repeat the action on the other side, swing tng the phone to the other hand. Harm groans into the phone. Mac keeps her nerves as hard as steel.

“Harm, you’ve been so bad. Just imagine I am there teasing your body.”

“Oh yes Mistress.”

“I want you tooke oke down and touch your penis. Feel its warmth, feel it pulsating in your hand. I want you to stroke it like it is your best friend. Feel the sensation of it hardening, feel the blood rush to the nerve endings.”


Harm’s arousal grows by the minute. He does as the voice asks, indeed feeling his nerves pulsating with blood. Now he is moaning into the phone and Mac tries like the dickens not to be turned on by the sounds.

“Can you hear your breath quicken? Is your pulse racing under your skin? Now I want you to take your hand and grasp all of your heat, begin to milk it. Pump it while imagining me lapping up your essence.”

Fully aroused, Harm begins wank himself silly. He is completely captured by the controlling vo He He can see Mac there doing as she told him to imagine. Harm would remember this night for nights to come. Mac is finding that giving Harm phone sex is beginning to be fun.

“Come on bad boy, your Mistress demands that you come for her. She wants you yell out her name and spill your milk all over yourself. Yeah that’s it naughty boy, come on, come on,” Mac teases; boy he is going to get it good.

Harm is going mad on his seat, thrusting up into his own hand anntinnting heavily. He begins to cry out Mac into the phone and Mac holds it away from her ear. Maybe someday she will call and do this again but enjoy it along with Harm. She hears him give out one last cry out of her name and he sighs.

“Did you enjoy that Harm? You are a real bad, bad boy. Your Mistress is pleased.”

“Yes, yes. I was glad I could help my Mistress out.”

“Great now your Mistress has one last command.”

“What is it you wish?”

“You have five seconds to get your damn six up, get dressed, drive like a bat out of hell over here, and tell me why you stood me up,” Mac says and then abruptly hangs up the phone.

“Shit,” Harm suddenly remembers how late it actually is.

He had forgotten that he had told Mac he would pick her up for dinner. Harm had screwed up royally again and he knew it.

“Way to go Flyboy. Well I can pick up flowers and candy on the way home,” he thinks.

He cleans himself up and dresses. Harm stops into a grocery store and buys a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy. He pulls into the driveway. He gets out of the SUV with his purchases and goes into the building. He can’t find his house keys so he knocks and Mac takes a quick glance out of the little scope on the door. Mac does not answer the door. Instead she quickly jots down a note and passes it through the mail slot.

“How dare he think of you as just another girl that can be won over so easily with candy and flowers,” M ang angry thoughts put forward on the table of her mind.


Harm takes the note from the mail slot and opens it reading,

“Oh no Mister Rabb, you are not getting off that easily. I will not be easily won over by flowers and candy. Try again.”

“Oh come on Mac, let me in,” Harm says knocking harder.

“Smooth move Tomcat. Now what,” Harm thinks.

He gets back in his SUV and goes out to get dinner. He goes in and puts in an order. He sits down and listens to the mood music. He pulls out a napkin and proceeds to write Mac the sweetest love letter. Satisfies with his composition he folds all the napkins in half. Harm drives back home and knocks on the door once again. Now going on 11: 45, Mac looks out of the scope again and he holds up a rather large paper bag with the Beltway Burger logo on it. When she looks down he had slips his the note into the mail slot. She opens the napkin letter, reading slowly,

“Laugh and cry, live and die. Life is a dream we are dreaming. Day by day I find my way. Look for the soul and the meaning. Then you look at me. And I always see. What I have been searching for. I'm lost as can be. you you look at me. And I am not lost anymore. People run, sun to sun. Caught in their lives ever flowing. Once begun, life goes till it's gone. We have to go where it's going. Then you look at me. And I always see. What I have been searching for. I'm lost as can be. Then you look at me. And I am not lost anymore. And you say you see. When you look at me. The reason you love life so. Though lost I have been, I find love again. And life just keeps on running. And life just keeps on running. You look at me and life comes from you. From you. I am so very, very sorry I missed our date tonight. I had to take Bud home, I forgot the time and I got stuck in traffic on the way home. Please, please let me make it up to you. If you are wondering what is in the paper bag, I brought dinner. I love you, Harm.”


Mac is in tears. It without a doubt is the sweetest thing he has ever written. The words look familiar but she couldn’t place them. She grabs a paper towel and blots the tears from her eyes. Mac folds the note up and puts it in the desk near the door. She opens the door; resting on the edge of the door she invites him in and closes the door. Harm takes the brown paper bags into the kitchen and goes to her. Mac takes him into her arms, and her warm red lips lock with his in a soft, gentle kiss that ignites into something that is more passionate. His tongue teases her lower lip begging clearance. She moans and lets her defense down, letting him through. Mac’s legs go weak and she melts into his arms. She runs her fingers through his short-cropped hair. Harm finally releases her so they both can catch their breaths.

“Wow,” Mac says licking her almost bruised lips.

“Wow is right, you look great,” Mac still in her black dress.

“You don’t look so bad yourself. Have a seat while I serve up dinner.”

Harm beats her to the kitchen.

“I’m serving up. Go have a seat,” Harm says ordering her out of their kitchen.


Roberts’ Residence.
Somewhere in Washington, D.C.
Thursday, November 27, 2003.
2:00 p.m.

“Whoo, hoo,” Harriet says as she gets off the phone from calling her dad for Thanksgiving.

“What have you done now honey,” asks Bud as he comes around the corner for another soda.

“Oh nothing, I just booked 9 major music artists to come and play at Mac and Harm’s wedding.”

“What? Say again… 9? How on earth?”

“My father went through some connections for me.”

“And just how are they getting paid for? You know Harm and Mac can’t afford a lot.”

“Never you mind. Just for now we’ve got 9 confirmed that they will come.”

“Are you at least going to let me in on the big secret?”

“Nope. I wish I could, but dad gave me orders not to tell.”

“Well you better bury it deep, because I think that was the door bell.”

“I have to call Tabby tomorrow and tell her since she’s running this event.”

“Come on, for a second there you were going to say that she’s running this circus.”


The gang arrived for Thanksgiving dinner and Mac brought Little A.J. a stuffed animalkey key he named Unka Harm and ran off to show his mommy. Mac had to laugh. He must have overheard her conversation with Harriet about how Harm stood her up.

“Gee thanks Mac. I really appreciate it. Now I’m a stuffed Turkey.”

“You will be after Harriet’s delicious meal. Now sit, Lover Boy.”


Most everyone is thankful to have family and friends, Bud chose freedom, and Harriet chose the right to vote. Little A.J. was thankful for his toys, as would be expected from a young child. Mac and Harm were thankful that they were able to serve their country in the military. Later on Harriet and Mac were in the kitchen cleaning up.

“He ate so much turkey Harriet, and he’s out like a light. It’s almost like he’s post-coital or something.”

Harriet laughs, “It’s the tryptophane. It put him to sleep. It’s like a natural drug from the bird. Chicken does as well but not as much as turkey. I think it’s adorable that Little A.J. thinks his Uncle Harm is a turkey.”

“I couldn’t have planned it any better Harriet. He must have heard us talking about Harm.”

“That’s what I figure.”

“Well I’ve got to go wake my turkey and get him home. I’m feeling a little sleepy myself.”

“Do you want to stay over and go home in the morning?”

“I’m fine to drive,” Mac says yawning a bit.

“No, no, no. You’re spending the night. I’ll have Mikey go make up the guest room upstairs.”