Not A Winchester

After a shower and something to eat, I put on a raggedy old dark gray shirt, a pair of tattered faded blue jeans and pulled my hair back into a pony tail. Permanent grease stains covered my work clothes. I had a pair of grease stains along the thighs of my pants and another large grease smear covering both ass cheeks. An old friend of mine thought it would be funny to anoint the back of my jeans with his greasy hands.

It was around one in the afternoon when I’d decided to start workin’ on my baby. With a few dark rags sticking out of my jean pockets I went over to my car and popped the hood. I got everything set up to do an oil change first.

The work was tedious. Having to get her front end up on blocks with Bobby’s help, we made damned sure that my beast of a car wouldn’t collapse on top of me. I went to work quickly and after flushing out the old oil and managing to get most of into the pan, as well as a few globs on my forehead, I was able to clean up my mess and add the fresh oil. We checked underneath, making sure everything was up to speed and proceeded to put her back down on all wheels.

I went over the other fluid levels, checked the battery and found she was running just fine. Due to the fact that I do everything in a slow, methodical manner… It wasn’t until around four in the afternoon that I’d dropped the hood and allowed myself to stop for the rest of the day, seeing that Bobby and the boys would be leaving in an hour.

Leaning against her grill I used one of my slightly cleaner rags to wipe the smudge of grease from my forehead when Dean approached me holding an open bottle of root beer in each hand and had a funny kind of smile on his lips.

“Thought I’d offer you a cold one.” He announced and handed me one of the root beers, which I took with an appreciative smile. “Sorry it’s not a brew, but I’ll be drivin’ pretty soon and you know how Bobby gets.”

“Yea, but this is just as good.” I smiled, “Thanks.” I replied and took a slow drink, enjoying the cold that danced down my throat and pooled in my stomach. After swallowing the cool root beer I asked, “where’s Sam and Bobby?”

He’d just taken a drink of his own root beer and had to clear his throat to speak. “Doin’ some research before we head out.” Dean replied and grew a thoughtful look, “mind telling me why you’re staying?”

My brow furrowed. “I already told you.” I said slowly, knowing he was fishing.



“I know you need some time for yourself, I get that. But from what Bobby’s told me, you’re not one for missin’ out on a case like this.” He explained, “so what is it really?”



The way he’d approached me…the way Dean had worded himself… I was suddenly having a flashback of John when we sat in Kate’s kitchen and he’d asked my why I was leaving. I had to look somewhere else as I took another drink of my root beer, forcing down the lump that tried to swell into my throat. “I need to get my head together.” I said finally and licked my lips. “And I doubt I’d be any good to you guys right now.”

“Alright,” Dean replied getting my attention. “Just makin’ sure you haven’t change your mind.”

“Tell me somethin’ Winchester,” I studied his face, “is that you asking…or you asking on Sam’s behalf?” I asked and saw the half smirk pull at the edge of his full lips.

“Oh yea, give him all the credit,” he chuckled, “He didn’t put me up to this, if that’s what you think.” Dean explained and glanced over to the house, making sure Sam wasn’t within earshot. “Sam likes you,” he brought his eyes back to mine, “and I know he’d feel better if you came along.”

“Look, that’s awful sweet but I’ve made up my mind.” I said with a sigh, “unless he stays here, which I doubt he will, there’s not much anyone can do about it.” I replied and when I realized what I’d just said…I watched Dean grow an idea. “Wait, that wasn’t my way of implying anything…”

Dean cut me off with a wave of his hand. “Now hold on a second,” he said with a smile, “it’s not a bad idea.” He paused long enough to sit back against my car to my left. “Let’s say I convince him to stay while me and Bobby go to Phoenix… Think you’d mind the company for a few days?”



I liked Sam…probably more than I was willing to admit, but I didn’t want him to stay because of me. “Family and Hunting comes first and I don’t want to get in the way. I don’t want to interfere with the job…”

Dean just wouldn’t have it. “You’re not.” He said getting my attention. “Let me ask ya somethin’, you tellin’ me you wouldn’t like havin’ Sammy all to yourself for the next few days?” Before I could give him an answer, Dean added, “He’s house trained and everything.”

I chuckled despite the nervous ball of energy beginning to expand in my stomach. “That is an appealing quality.” I retorted and got a small laugh outta Dean for my remark.

“And the way I see it…” Dean said, scooted a little closer and rumbled in possibly the deepest octave I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth, just dripping with all kinds of naughty intentions, “bet you could teach him a few new tricks.”

“God!” I barked and slugged him playfully in the shoulder, fighting my face from turning all kinds of red.

A very masculine laugh thundered away from his grinning mouth, which felt a little too personal when he sobered enough to quip, “You can call me Dean.” and wiggled his brow at me.

I gave him a disbelieving look until he pushed his bottom lip forward, pouting at me… My resolve crumbled and I laughed, shaking my head at him. “You’re intolerable, ya know that?” I spat with a playful lilt to my voice and he smirked.

“What can I say? Chicks dig me.” He replied with a cocky lull and took a drink of his root beer.

I snorted a laugh and sighed, “unbelievable.” I muttered and began to take another drink myself, when Dean decided to use the huskiest, soul shivering timber that I’m sure was pretty damned illegal in several countries.

“You have no idea, baby.” He growled into my left ear and I froze.

It took my brain about fifteen seconds to get the hamster back onto the wheel, slapped it on its furry little ass and I was able to think again. Thank the great spirit that I had decided to pause before swallowing my mouthful of root beer as he spoke, or I’m pretty sure I would’ve choked to death.

He licked his lips in a lazy line, his green eyes mischievous. That sonuvabitch was thoroughly enjoying the fact that I’m pretty sure 97% of my blood flow had decided to rush into my face causing me to glow like a radioactive tomato under the afternoon sun.

“I…” It was one of the first times in my life that I couldn’t speak. I cleared my throat and tried again, “I hate you right now,” I muttered and watched a pleased grin adorn Dean’s face.

“You’re too easy.” He said with that cocky fuckin’ tone and I glared death in his direction, “Oh come on…you soo had it comin’.”

“Ass.” I clipped between clenched teeth and he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Bitch.” He snapped without missing a beat and held my eyes in a staring competition.

“Whore.” I spat, an evil smile stretching my lips.

Dean mirrored my expression and shot back, “Prude.”

“Rectum!” I said and Dean blinked at me.

“Seriously?” He said with a quirked brow, “That’s your comeback?”

“How about Douche Bag?” I chimed in a bittersweet tone and watched the lines of his face shift to disgust.

“That’s bush-league princess.” Dean said, acting unimpressed and I smirked.

“Well…” I trailed off just long enough for him to begin drinking more of his root beer and chimed, “I was going to call you an Anal Dwelling Butt Monkey.”

He jerked, eyes bulging and before I knew it a spray of root beer not only flew out of his mouth, but it shot right out of his nose as he began gagging and coughing.

I exploded with laughter. “Payback’s a bitch!” I exclaimed with biggest shit-eating-grin of triumph on my face as Dean continued coughing and hacking and ended up turning away from me to clean himself.

After a moment, he turned back to me, eyes blood shot, cheeks flushed, “you are soo gonna pay for that.” Dean croaked out and let out another cough that made me chuckle at him.

“Whatever…anal dwelling butt monkey.” I muttered under my breath and fought the grin on my face as Dean was once again, fighting the muscles in his face to keep scowling at me…his lips twitching, wanting to curve into a smile.

“You just wait Tora,” Dean began to say, his eyes becoming slits, “when me and Bobby finish with the job… I’m gonna get you back.”

I rolled my eyes, brought my gaze forward and said with an unimpressed tone, “Promises, promises…”

There was a few seconds where I felt him glaring fire into the left side of my head and finally peeked over at him. When I did, I witnessed his face twitch again…felt mine do the same…and the next thing we knew, we were cracking up at our own stupidity.

“Man…” Dean said after finally sobering after our shared outburst and gave me his eyes; a warm smile pulling at his lips, both dimples visible, “I’m startin’ to wonder if Sam’s gonna be safe with you all by himself.”

I furrowed my brow at him, smiled and shook my head. “He’ll be just fine…as long as he doesn’t piss me off.” I replied with a chuckle and leaned back against my car.

Dean searched my face for a moment, “so we’re good about him staying?” He asked and after a moment of consideration…I gave a nod and he added, “alright then.” Dean grinned at me, “Excellent!”

My face went calm, that damned ball of nervous energy twisting in my stomach, “but it does not mean that he’s stayin’ to get laid.” My voice was even when I said that and gave Dean my eyes, “We clear?”



Dean blinked at me, “hey that’s up to him, sweetheart.” He realized what he’d just said was only making me think otherwise. “Look, he’s not like that. Sam’s a good kid, despite his geek boy habits. He seems to have a genuine interest in you. Hell, I haven’t seen him this sweet on someone since Madi…” Dean stopped himself and I noticed a glimmer of pain dance through his eyes before he got a hold of his emotions and put on a small smile. “Sides, maybe this’ll do him some good, spending some quality time with you.” He wiggled his brow at me and nudged me with his right shoulder.

I narrowed my eyes at him and thwapped him playfully in the arm. “God Dean, you’re terrible.” I chimed with a low laugh when our attention was brought over to the house.

It was Bobby, holding a duffel. “Alright, let’s get this done.” He exclaimed and trotted down the small flight of steps and started towards his car.

“Be with you in a sec Bobby.” Dean announced, gave me a wink and went back into the house.

I took a very deep, needed breath and proceeded to chug the contents of my root beer. The cold wave hit my stomach in a rush and I was forced to catch my breath from the sudden internal temperature change.

God what hell was I doing…allowing Dean to talk his baby brother into staying at the house with me. This wasn’t something I did. I never let anyone get close to me…ever. I’d learned a long time ago, the less people in my life, the better. After losing John which really broke me and now my Adam, Kate… I couldn’t do it anymore.

I’d lost so much and I was trying to keep a calm front up…but inside I was broken. I was falling a part at the seams and the last thing I wanted was quality time with a beautiful, sensitive stranger. So why didn’t I just stop Dean in the first place? Was I really losing my edge?

No it wasn’t that… I think it was a deeper part of me that wanted this. A darker area of my brain that woke up and sensed something in Sam that I’d never felt with anyone before. So why hadn’t I fought harder? Because I was tired of fighting…I was tired of pushing everyone away. And maybe…I was tired of being so god damned lonely. I’d had someone once, another Hunter like me…and I was actually happy. But with anything that pure comes with a price…and within seven months I was burning what was left of his body. That’s the perks of Hunting… You can always count on being alone in the end.

I finished off my bottle and started for the house. Sweaty, tired and a little hungry…my mind was on a completely different plain when I damn near ran into the boys while walking back into the house.

“Well, you two have fun!” Dean announced sounding ever so damned chipper and I just gave him a flat look.

“Loads.” I muttered in reply and watched him as he stepped out onto the porch and vanished out of view. I’m sure Bobby was gonna find it all kinds of interesting that Sam was going to keep company while they took the one job I would’ve jumped on…had it been any other point in time.

God I was in a crappy mood.

I turned my eyes to Sam and felt my resolve crumble. He gave off this very sweet, innocent charm, and it was so fucking disarming. He had this strange presence about him that really got under my skin and made my anger back away, replaced by softer emotions that I really wasn’t used to having. It caused that crappy feeling to dwindle and I was left with a stupid half smile hanging from my lips. “I guess Dean convinced you to stay?” I asked in a soft voice, one I wasn’t really known for using, and watched a shy smile stretch his lips.

He ran a hand through his hair, one of his signature nervous ticks and looked down at me, his dimples showing. “He mentioned you wouldn’t mind me being here.” Sam replied, slightly nervous.

“And you’re really okay with that?” I asked, wanting to make damned sure this is what he wanted.

Sam worried his bottom lip between his teeth and rumbled out, “As long as you’re okay with it?”

I just shook my head smiling. “I’m five by five, big guy.” I said and motioned to the kitchen. “Now, I was thinkin’,” I began to say as he followed my footsteps into the house, “I’ll take another shower and make us something to eat. How does that sound?”

We stopped in the kitchen, near the table and Sam put his hands in his pockets. “Sounds good.” He replied, voice low, cheeks slightly flushed. It made me wonder if he was like this with every girl he thought was pretty.

Lord knows I was never this sweet on someone this fast… I was never this nice either. Ever since I was a kid, I’d had a strong dislike for the male species. So even when I had male friends, they knew to never treat me like a poor defenseless damsel in distress, because I just wouldn’t have it. I could take damn good care of myself and if they didn’t like it or didn’t know how to accept me as an equal…they just weren’t worth my time.

So what was it about Sam that changed my attitude? Causin’ me to soften my usual hardened exterior whenever I met his eyes… It was a whole new level to my personality that I hadn’t known about and honestly…I was having a hard time dealing with it.

Maybe it was something in the air that was effecting my judgment? Huh…well, I guess I’ll never know.

* * * * *

After another shower to get the sweat and oil smell off of me, I managed a hearty meal for dinner. Both stuffed, Sam and I sat out on the porch on the small steps, drinking from old mugs filled with soothing hot cocoa. I remember how the air filled with a strange warmth, charged with the energy of a distant storm. The sky becoming inflamed with deep magentas and majestic purples as the mother of night began to sweep an unseen hand against the lingering day, gently pushing it toward its sleep with the color of night and all its ethereal secrets to take its place. I peered up into the heavens and could taste the moisture forming in the atmosphere. The scent of rain swirling through my senses, telling me we were in for a midnight storm. Not a cold rain, but a warm rain with the promise of lightening and thunder.

“It’s going to rain.” I announced in a thoughtful tone, my eyes unfocused as my senses confirmed my instinctive observation.

Sam peered over at me as he sat to my left, a curious glint in his blue/green depths. “How can you tell?” He asked in a genuine tone of interest.

I gave a secretive smile and replied, “An old habit of mine. I can smell it.” I explained and met his eyes. “Can’t you?”

Sam considered my question for a moment, a crease just above his brow and shook his head, a slight smile on his lips. “No, not really.” He answered honestly and I chuckled.

“Ah, well… Guess I’m just weird.” I said and paused, “ya…weird like an animal.” I said softly under my breath, thinking he wouldn’t catch it.

But he did. “Nothin’ weird about having keen senses.” Sam explained and it was my turn to give him an inquisitive look. “It just means you have a higher chance of survival than most Hunters.”

“That makes sense.” I added thoughtfully, “probably explains why sirens and dog whistles make me want scream when I hear them.”

“That’s gotta suck.” Sam replied and I nodded.

“Oh yea, big time.” I said with a chuckle and he smiled.

We sat quietly for a few moments, enjoying each others company while the air became calm, leaving us with a sense of peace. It was nice, not having to speak… Just sitting there with a hot cup of cocoa…until Sam broke the silence.

“So…you and Adam,” Sam began to say, sitting to my left, his voice careful as he asked, “you guys were really close?”

I nodded and had to take a moment to compose myself so my voice didn’t appear broken when I spoke. “Very.” I said in a quiet tone and took a breath, an attempt to ease the tension in my chest. “I really wish you could’ve known him.” I added and looked into his eyes.

He managed a small smile, “Me too.” Sam replied and held my gaze.

I didn’t move to wipe my face when a single tear spilled from my right eye and began a wet trail along my flesh when Sam reached over with his left hand and used his thumb to brush it away for me.

“Heh… Thanks.” I muttered softly with a sniffle and took another drink of my cocoa, trying so hard to keep my damned emotions from unleashing. “I hope you don’t think I’m some cold-hearted bitch… I’ve just never been good with getting emotional in front of people.”

I felt him place a tentative hand on my back, gently rubbing back and forth as he held his cup with his left hand. “No, I don’t think that of you.” Sam explained and leaned down a little to catch my weary gaze. “In fact…” he trailed off and wore an embarrassed smile, “I kinda think you’re amazing. Well, with the way you took on Dean, and earlier today when you worked on your car.”

I let out a dark chuckle, “self sufficient, suicidal and slightly distant.” I chimed and added, “ya I’m a total catch.”

Sam shook his head at me. “No… It’s more than that Tora. You’re different. And I mean that in a good way.” He stumbled over his words but I could tell he was being genuine. “You were a good sister and from what Bobby tells me, you’re one helluva Hunter. You know how to take care of yourself and you’re a woman… That’s saying something.”

“You’re kinda cute when you ramble.” I said softly, smiling and watched him chuckle at himself. “Wanna know somethin’?”

He appeared to swallow nervously and searched my eyes. “What’s that?” He asked in a timber that was deeper then I’d ever heard it.

I had to pause just to get my brain to function properly and said, “I honestly have no idea why you’re attracted to me.”

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know why you’re attracted me either.” Sam replied and we both let out a laugh.

“Guess we’re just destined to be attracted to fellow screw-ups.” I chimed with a playful lilt and nudged his shoulder with mine and felt him wrap his arm around me, bringing me against him in a half hug for a moment.

He lingered and I allowed it, until the tension began to seep out into the air around us and he cleared his throat, finally removing his arm from my back and placed both hands on his cup.

“Look, this is gonna seem left field, but I gotta be straight with you…” I began to say, voice soft, face unreadable and felt the nervous energy sweeping through Sam as he listened attentively. I let out a sigh and gave him my eyes, “you being here…god this is gonna come out harsh,” I paused and shook my head at myself and tried again, “having you here with me is great and all…but I hope you don’t think you’re gonna get sex out of it.”

His eyes widened drastically and he almost seemed to pale a little at my words. “What? No. I mean if that happened I wouldn’t be against it, but wait, that’s not what I’m saying…I respect you and like you. If something happens, it happens…but I don’t expect anything to happen…I just, what I mean is… That’s not…” He rambled on and trailed off, completely embarrassed and let out a defeated sigh, his right hand cradling his forehead as he looked to his feet.

I fought with the smile that wanted to form on my face due to how friggin’ adorable he was acting. “It’s alright Sam, really it is.” I announced softly and met his eyes as he looked over at me under his lashes.

His brow furrowed, “It is?” he asked, uncertain as to what else was going to come out of my mouth. “I mean, if we don’t…you know…”

I nodded and gently padded the non-bandaged part of his right arm. “If nothing happens and we end up talking all night, that’s fine. I really do enjoy your company, Sam. And if say…something does, I don’t want it to be because you only want sex out of me. In my screwed way of thinking, I guess I want it to mean something.” I explained and brought my hand back to my lap, feeling a little odd that I’d basically allowed myself to be honest with him. “I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that I don’t want you to have the wrong impression…especially with the way your Brother made it sound.”

“Wait, you think Dean suggested you wanted to sleep with me?” Sam asked, a funny expression on his face.

I thought about it for a moment, brows knitted together in a thoughtful crease, “no…” I said softly at first and let out a small laugh, “Alright, maybe. He made a point to ask if I wanted your company while they went out to Phoenix. I was against it because I didn’t want to keep you from your work but he wouldn’t have it.” I explained, slightly rambling in embarrassment.

A goofy kinda smile hung from his lips as he glanced at me, “wow.” He exclaimed softly and shook his head, the smile still stretching his lips when he gave me the full force of his eyes. “I know how Dean acts…and now it makes sense why you’d ask me that.”

“Well I wasn’t insinuating anything, but your brother made it seem that way…” I tried to explain when he finished my thought for me.

“…and you thought he told me otherwise.” Sam stated and it was my turn to look away, embarrassed. He let out a chuckle and gently nudged me with his right shoulder, “It’s okay,” he said and met my eyes, “Wanna know why I’m really here?”

I searched his eyes and asked, “Why?”

He looked down for a moment, wet his lips out of nervous habit and brought his gaze to mine, “to make sure that you were safe,” He replied and wore his heart in his eyes when he added, “and in a selfish way…wanted to spend more time getting to know you.”

I blushed a little at his words, his honesty striking a chord somewhere in the broken walls of my heart. “Well,” I began to say and had to clear my throat, “guess that answers my question.”

Sam smiled warmly at me when a strange emotion danced behind his eyes. “I hope this isn’t too personal to ask…” He trailed off while watching my face for any bad reactions. When he saw that I was open to him, he continued, “but I can read people pretty well, and usually when someone asks a question like the one you asked me, something…bad must’ve happened to you.”

I gave a slight nod as an unpleasant smile stretched my lips for a moment. I averted my gaze to the yard ahead of us, my thoughts leading me down a dark memory lane that I’d promised myself I’d never travel. “You’re right, about my question…but I had to…only because of past experience.” My voice had taken on an empty quality to it, my eyes appearing haunted and I could feel Sam straighten next to me as I spoke. “Guys I thought I could trust with my life, not all of’em mind you…but there were a few that would lend me a place to crash after a nasty Job and the next thing I knew, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, with them tryin’ to get on top of me and I had to fight’em off. I was injured and they took advantage of that, knowing I was weaker than usual. Fuckin’ cowards… Because if they’d tried that shit when I was healthy, I would’ve ended them without a second thought.” I said and heard him gulp next to me. “Shittiest part about it, these assholes seemed to think they had every right to rape me, like I owed’em the privilege after they let me crash at their place.”

The look of utter disgust and horror on Sam’s face kept me from meeting his eyes. By his reaction alone, I knew he would never attempt something like that with me, or any woman. It eased the fear in my mind, but did nothing to ease the pain of what had happened to me in the past. “Jesus I’m sorry Tora…” He exclaimed in a quiet voice, his compassion for me causing me to shift uncomfortably as I took another drink of my then luke-warm cocoa. I just wasn’t used to men caring so much about me…except for Bobby.

“Naw, don’t be.” I clipped in a short reply, my jaws working as I fought back the anger from my past. “It’s not like they got what they wanted. After putting up a fight they realized they’d rather be living with the utter shame of having their ass handed to them by an injured woman, rather then be found lying face down in a ditch somewhere.”

“Still,” Sam started to say, finally getting my eyes. “You shouldn’t have been put through that.”

I gave a shrug, pushing back my emotions so I could try to enjoy the rest of the night without having gut-wrenchingly-painful flashbacks. “Shit happens.” I muttered and I could sense that he was unnerved by how cold I suddenly got. It wasn’t his fault, it was just something I did to protect myself.

He appeared thoughtful, tangled in a web of thoughts that danced through his mind. “Who else knows about this?” Sam asked in a careful voice while looking into the mug that sat cupped in his big hands.

Taking in a quiet breath, I looked down, “Just you.” I murmured in reply and felt him give me a surprised look. “And I’d like it to stay that way if you don’t mind. I really don’t want to face Bobby’s reaction if he ever found out…” I explained and drank down the rest of my cocoa. “It’s bad enough that I kept that secret about Adam for so many years and finally broke down three weeks ago.”

Sam seemed to search my face, swallowed hard and nodded. “I guess I should be flattered,” He began to say and caught the weary look I was giving him at his statement, “well, what I mean is…” Sam paused to run a nervous hand through his unruly locks, “you’ve confided in me…and I know that had to be very hard for you.”

I smirked, “I did, didn’t I?” I chimed and he grew a slight smile. “You drugged my cocoa or somethin’, didn’t you?” I said playfully and he just chuckled, shaking his head.

“Nope. My hands are clean…” He replied and gave me a slight nudge with his shoulder, “seein’ as you were the one who made it.”

“Oh yea…” I said slowly and let out a laugh at the smile he gave me. “Well, I’m about to go inside and get another cup. Wanna join me?”

Sam worried the inside of his bottom lip for a moment, his eyes mischievous, “I suppose I could, even though I’m comfortable and you’re perfectly capable of getting me a refill.” He teased with a shit-eating-grin stretched across his face as I stood up and gave him a glare. Sam let out a laugh and followed me, “I’m kidding!”

“Ya-huh.” I spat with a small smile and shook my head at him as we walked over the deck and into the house. “Damned Sasquatch.” I muttered under my breath as we made our way into the kitchen and I heard him scoff behind me.

“Whatever…peaches.” He retorted as we stood next to the counter and I stopped, right as I was about to heat up some more hot chocolate that I’d put in a metal pot that sat covered on the old stove.

I blinked at him, “Peaches?” I repeated, obviously unimpressed and turned the knob, causing a circle of small blue flames to jut out beneath the pot.

He chuckled and tried to fight back the smile on his face. “Yes, Peaches.” He said as if that explained everything. “I find it rather fitting for you, actually.”

I frowned. “And why peaches?” I asked while crossing my arms.

Sam just grinned. “Because of your cheeks.” He replied and I rolled my eyes.

“Alright… Then you’re a String-Bean.” I quipped with triumphant smile and turned my eyes to the hot chocolate, unfolded my arms, picked up the big wooden spoon from the countertop and began mixing the contents.

Sam scoffed, “Fine.” He said in a short breath and I chuckled.

“Fine.” I repeated and watched as he maneuvered himself in front of me, set his now empty mug on the counter and leaned the left side of his body against it, arms across his chest, just watching me. I continued to stir noticing the silence that swallowed us…and decided to speak, “me and John used to bicker like this.” I said softly and felt his expression grow serious. “When he was around long enough to bicker with anyway…”

He was quiet for a moment, cleared his throat and asked, “You and Dad…were you close?”

“Like I said…he wasn’t around long enough.” This made me pause, the hot chocolate beginning to bubble. “When he was around, we were…” I murmured finally and had to wet my lips at how dry they’d suddenly gotten. “We were a lot alike. I guess he saw me as the daughter he never had.” I paused again, my eyes appearing sad, “guess that explains why I’ve never had a guy in my life… Always afraid that I’m gonna let’em in and get left behind…or end up burying him because he got killed on a Hunt trying to protect me. Guess I’m just fucked.”

I’d paused, allowing my words to fade into the air when I looked up at Sam from beneath my lashes for a moment and witnessed a sliver of pain emerge across his face. I immediately looked away and turned the heat off before the contents boiled over and became too hot to drink.

Unable to say anything, I merely reached over, took his empty mug and began to pour the steaming liquid inside. Once filled I set his mug next to him and repeated the process with mine. Thankful that I didn’t spill it on myself I set the pot back on the stove and covered it up.

“Guys have always treated me like shit, well except for one…but he’s dead.” I began in a soft voice while blowing air over the cocoa in my cup, “Damn… I sure know how to kill a good mood, huh?” I said, trying to make light of how bad I felt for bringing John and my past up in the first place. I hadn’t meant to hurt Sam or make him uncomfortable…

Like I’ve said, I was never good with people.

* * * *End Part Six* * * *