Sacrificing My Love For You

Sacrificing My Love For You


The next morning when Owen arrived, Jack noticed he looked tiered, but smug and self satisfied. Jack knew that look, and knew what it meant. He silently moaned in horror and pity, as he realised Tosh would have had to endure his escapades as well.

Gwen looked at Owen, and instantly smirked. He looked like he had been thoroughly shagged. She asked jokingly “Hard night, Owen? In more ways then one, I take it?”

Owen’s grin turned lecherous, and he drawled in reply “Blond twins, gorgeous arses, set of tits and incredible long legs. Lasted until half five this morning. I never realised how much I missed it.”

Only Jack and Ianto saw Tosh enter the hub, as Gwen had asked Owen if he’d had a hard night. Jack felt like beating the crap out of Owen, as he saw how tiered, ill, pale and withdrawn Tosh looked. She had black circles under her eyes.

Jack was almost brought to his knees, as he took in the raging agony in Tosh’s dark brown eyes. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and grinded his teeth.

He called out to Tosh “Tosh can I please see you in my office, now?” Tosh looked at Jack, and nodded, as she saw the sad and knowing look in his eyes. She swallowed hard, knowing exactly what Jack wanted to talk about.

The others watched as she walked into Jack’s office. Jack closed the door behind him, and pulled the blinds. As soon he had done that, he walked over to Tosh, and immediately took her into his arms. She instantly lost it, and sobbed uncontrollably, and clung to him as if her life depended upon it.

Outside in the hub, Gwen and Ianto exchanged a worried glance; They then looked at Owen, and were surprised to see a pinched looked upon his face. They watched as his fists clenched and unclenched.

Ianto cleared his throat and commented “She heard all of it, from the very second that you Gwen had asked Owen if he’d had a hard night.” Gwen gasped in horror and guilt, placing a hand over her mouth.

They all knew how Tosh felt about Owen, hell the fact he was alive and kicking and able to go out shagging, was a sure testament to that. Gwen, felt tears of pain and pity for Tosh, enter her eyes, as she realised, Tosh had done what she had; knowing Owen didn’t feel the same about her.

She let a tear trail down her cheek, as she choked out “My god. She did that ritual to give Owen back his life, knowing he didn’t feel for her, what she feels for him. I don’t know if I could ever do that, and managed to live with it. Especially for as long as she is going to have to.”

Owen quickly stood, and stormed out of the hub, and down into the autopsy room. Gwen and Ianto cringed at this, knowing Owen must have seriously been bothered by it all, if he was not hiding his emotions.

They looked up, as Jack’s door opened. Jack looked around the hub, and was relieved to see only Gwen and Ianto were present, and not Owen. He asked “Where has Owen gotten off to?”

Gwen replied “I suspect the autopsy room.” She added “Is Tosh ok. I swear, I wouldn’t have said anything, if I’d known she’d entered right at the moment I’d said anything to Owen.”

Jack shook his head and replied “I want you two to come into my office now. Tosh, she has agreed to allow you in on a couple of details that she hasn’t told Owen, nor does she want to tell him. She refuses to trap him, and cause him any guilt with what she has kept from him.”

Gwen and Ianto frowned, as they walked into Jack’s office. Once everyone was seated, Jack switched on the Surveillance camera footage from two nights previous.

Jack commented “This is the footage of the ritual. It will reveal information that Tosh hasn’t already told Owen, and refuses to. What your about to see, I don’t want to leave this office. Tosh will tell Owen when she is ready, and not before.”

He then switched on the footage, allowing Gwen and Ianto to view it all. They watched in awe, as the goddess appeared, and was glowing white. They listened to all that was being said.

Gwen gasped, and placed a hand over her mouth, as her eyes rapidly filled with tears once more. She couldn’t believe that Tosh had given up her chance to love another, and be with another. She could only find love and happiness with Owen. It was a part of the agreement made with the goddess.

Gwen and Ianto were horrified, and felt violently ill, as they heard Jack protesting, telling Tosh that she’d be able to feel Owen’s pleasure, and him pleasuring others, others that weren’t her.

Gwen choked out in horror “Oh my god. You had to feel and endure what Owen did last night. You felt his pleasure, and he pleasuring those two women, didn’t you?”

Tosh nodded and replied “I feel dirty and violated, having felt arousal that wasn’t my own, or caused on my terms. I’ve never been forced into an orgasm, not until last night.” She flushed brightly.

She stifled a sob “I never thought it was going to end. It went on for hours. It was so wild and out of control.” She added “Also, I only expected to be able to feel what was happening. I never expected to see the whole thing from his point of view, even when I closed my eyes, and tried to block it out.”

Gwen moaned, and covered her face with her hands, shaking her head rapidly in horror and disgust. Jack noticed Ianto looked ill, seriously ill. He’d never seen Ianto looked so disturbed, not seen the incident with Lisa.

Ianto asked in horror “How are you going to endure that, endure it for quite possibly centuries, possibly even longer then that? You’ll end up going stark raving mad.”

Tosh shook her head, as tears rapidly streamed down her face, and replied “I don’t know, I honestly don’t. it’s not fare, why do I still love him so much. Why does it have to hurt so much?”

Gwen stifled a sob, before getting up, and taking Tosh into her arms, as she begun to sob again. Gwen rested her chin on top of Tosh’s head, and allowed silent tears of pity and pain for Tosh, to trail down her cheeks rapidly.

Gwen asked “Why won’t you tell him?” Tosh shook her head “No. I can’t and will not. I won’t trap him. I love him far too much, to make him think he has to love me, out of some moronic sense of duty. I won’t, and can’t do that to him.”

She concluded “As long as he is happy, then I will endure whatever, no matter how it will destroy me.” Gwen silently cried, as she exchanged pitying glances with Jack and Ianto.