Past, Present and Future

Cassidy saw the cold sterile room that had to be where Simon did his work and a shiver worked up her spine. God she hated doctors but she hadn’t been to one in…well she couldn’t remember the last time and figured she was due, and if she was going to die anyways might as well find out it wasn’t from her own body betraying her. She had an instinct that never failed and she trusted this young doctor, enough to throw her pain and failures on him.



“Doctor?” She called out as she leaned into the room from the doorway. She spotted him squatting down on the floor putting away supplies in a low cupboard. His smile was relieved when he saw her.



“I thought you really wouldn’t come.”



“Crossed my mind, but you can’t do any harm I figure.”



“Do you want to sit while you tell me what’s bothering you right now?”



“It might take awhile Doc….by the way the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing holds true on this ship right?”



“Of course, but your husband…”



“Doesn’t need to know” Cassidy interrupted. Simon was baffled. He knew that Jayne wasn’t easy to get along with but still they were married and she shouldn’t feel the need to hide things from her own husband, unless his suspicions were true and if anything that made Simon hate Jayne even more. However, he would never violate a patients trust especially since Cassidy seemed as if she was going to bolt any second. Therefore he wouldn’t pry into personal questions unless Jayne made it necessary or Cassidy doesn’t clear his name.



“Understood,” he said with a nod towards the chair that would recline for her exam.



“Do you have curtains or something or will your sister stare the whole time?”



Simon looked up to see River looking curiously through the window studying, “we can frost the windows,” he added while he did just that, “would you like to change and lie back for me?”



Not particularly she thought but she watched him turn his back and, taking a deep breath she did what he asked and watched as he did what doctors do, his eyes held concern first when he heard her breathing and they grew even more so further into the exam as he pressed her abdomen and she practically jumped off the table.



“I think there’s fluid in your lungs not being cleared due to a broken rib pressing against your left one, I will need to move the bone into place and wrap your torso,” his hand had begun to tremble when he saw the scars and he knew it was only going to get worse. In fact the only good news, if it could be called that, was that these wounds were relatively recent and in no way could be caused by any contact with Jayne so he could stop blaming him.



“Whatever you say doctor.”



“I understand if you aren’t comfortable with the rest of the exam but I’m going to need you to relax for me.”



Cassidy nodded and watched as he moved down, the examination, while making her nervous wasn’t so bad due to her confidence in him, but once he asked her permission and proceeded and she felt the cold metal against her she jumped up and pulled away, “No!”



Simon jerked back shocked at her reaction, he knew that she had suffered trauma but he wasn’t aware that it still haunted her, that the feel of the instrument pushed her memories to surface that she had wanted to forget forever. At their surprise they didn’t notice Jayne enter until he spoke.



“Gorram it Simon what are you doing in a locked room with my wife?” He growled as he marched over to him grabbing him by the front of his collar. He had seen enough, the windows were frosted his wife was barely clothed and was straddling the exam table, they might have never been lovers but he wasn’t going to stand by for this! Hell Simons face alone spoke volumes and to Jayne it all said the same thing, guilty.



Leave him alone Jayne!” Cassidy was already off the table and grabbing Jaynes arm that held Simon, “he was just being a good doctor by seeing if I was ok.”



Jayne looked around at the equipment and back to Simon, “why do you have that look if that was the only thing going on here?”



“Your wife has suffered severely and I didn’t know…”



“Confidentiality Simon!” Cassidy interrupted wondering if she had misplaced her trust.



“What’s wrong with her?” Jayne asked with a calmer tone to his voice, when Simon remained silent he turned to Cassidy, “What happened Cass?”



“I explained what happened at the meeting Jayne”



“No you told us what you think we needed to know but in case you forgot I’m your husband and have a right to know what’s ailing you, I took a vow!”



“It’s a little late to play hero Jayne!” Cassidy felt close to tears and she wanted to hurt Jayne because he was making her hurt just by forcing her to remember, and she knew she had achieved her goal when Jayne lost his grip on Simon and a darkness colored his usually bright eyes, “you want the truth Jayne? Go ahead Simon, explain the situation to him.”



Simon looked back and forth not sure what to do but his doctors instinct kicked in and he began to list what he considered as complete a diagnosis that he could get, “Cassidy seems to have some wounds that had trouble healing including two broken ribs that are irritating her lungs and causing fluid, likely blood to leak into them, I have noticed older fractures in her right hand and arm as well as trauma to the shoulder and knees.” He paused to steady himself. He could no longer look at Cassidy as he listed what he knew she didn’t even suspect he had found out to a man that he had considered unbreakable who also seemed to fall apart before him. “If I were to guess I would say that she was violently beaten and raped and due to the amount of scaring…” he stopped when Jayne walked past him and out of the room, noticeably slower than when he entered and not quite as loud.



“Thank you doctor, you are of course correct.” Cassidy commented.



“I’m sorry…”



“No apologies please, you didn’t cause any of it and Jayne is always irritable now tell me what we can do so that I may be able to walk without this pain and sleep in peace?”



“Um well I can work on what I have found but if you want it to be complete…”



“I was told of the damage that has been done there, I am no longer able to have children if I can believe them but until the day that I can hope for a miracle or otherwise lets focus our attention elsewhere ok?”



He nodded sensing pain that he would never be able to reach, and it wasn’t his area to try anyways, he was just a doctor not her best friend…or husband.



“Well I’m going to need help to set the bone…”



“I can help,” Zoe surprised them all by walking in just at that moment causing Simon to realize that he hadn’t made the room soundproof when he frosted the windows, by now the whole ship probably knew the extent of Cassidy’s injuries and he looked to her in silent apology.



She knew from both of their looks what had happened and glanced away, so much for her trying to forget, she laid on the table and waited for them to begin.



When Jayne had heard his worst fears listed he had become more and more sick to the stomach, he wasn’t trying to be a hero like Cassidy accused, he just was trying to find out exactly how badly he had failed, and it couldn’t have been worse. He looked at her while Simon talked and didn’t know how she had survived, she was such a small thing…he should have been there right beside her, but damn it all she hadn’t gone to him for help so it shouldn’t be his responsibility, but that was no comfort to him.



When he walked out of the room he saw the hallway full of crew with somber faces and knew that they all bore witness, and he wanted to beat the lot of them. Instead he glared his way a few steps past them and stopped. God he was a coward. He hadn’t kept his one promise to his best friend and here he was running from his sister. Like hell he was going to fail a second time, he turned and walked into the room as Zoe was grabbing Cassidy’s shoulders. Silently he looked her in the eyes and walked over—to her credit she didn’t fight him and instead walked out closing the door.



Cassidy had her eyes closed but she knew the feel of his hands over her shoulders. That she knew anywhere. “I’m ready Simon” she said and a moment later fire exploded in her stomach as she tried to lurch but Jaynes grip wouldn’t falter. They all heard the bone slide into place and she hid her face to wipe the silent tears that had escaped, thankfully to no ones notice. Jayne helped her sit and turned away when Simon began to wrap her midsection.



He had seen her naked a few times, hell they lived together it was bound to happen. The last time was right before she left she was swimming in the lake by their house and he had gone tracking a deer when he came across her clothes hanging from a tree branch. When he saw her he was mesmerized for the whole of her bath, his eyes slid over ever part of her form and grew to uncomfortable amounts of appreciation. When he felt the stirrings of arousal he knew he was in trouble but it was his wife and he felt no guilt, just impatience that things between them weren’t moving anywhere. It wasn’t like he didn’t want them to but he was always reminded that she didn’t whenever she brought up the temporary part of their situation. That and he saw Bryant in his mind telling him she deserved better, and she did, so he fought it and left her alone.



Now was a different story, when Cassidy moved to take off her gown she didn’t ask him to turn but one glance of the swell of her breasts caused him to regardless, he was a cad to think thoughts of bed when she was just on her way to recovery, there were whores for that sort of thing. He waited for her to dress and silently made his departure, they still had a job to do and if he could keep his mind off his wife for more than a second he might actually be of some help in completing the job.