Jamie's New Hire

six

Adam was always late. Everyone was; that's just how things seemed to work No one ever showed up on time, but they always stayed late after to make up for the time lost. Adam being late was no different from anybody else.

But no one had ever been twenty minutes late without a call. Jamie sat behind his desk, watching the clock slowly tick away the seconds. His entire body ached and he could barely breathe, the heavy weight on his chest that was a collective two hours of sleep the night before continued to only grow heavier as the seconds clicked forward. He moved his eyes from the clock on the wall to Adam's bright yellow drill, trying not to think of the consequences of his actions. Not only was Adam a goddamn breeder, but he was an employee. Forget highly unprofessional; hitting on an employee could be downright dangerous. He'd built himself a rather impressive reputation, and he knew that accusations of sexual harassment against a male employee would ruin him. Never mind living in open-minded San Francisco. He'd still be blackballed, and he knew it.

Not to mention turning his entire personal life inside-out and upside-down. He was almost certain that his wife had no idea she was just a beard. That wasn't to say that he didn't care about her. They were terribly close, but rarely intimate. Jamie could pretend when he needed to, but more often than not, he'd make up some lame story about being stressed at the shop and running behind on deadlines so he could lock himself in his workshop.

The buzzing of the door leading to the parking lot startled Jamie. He looked up at the clock, surprised that it was nearly ten o'clock already. Quickly pushing his chair over to his office window, he peered through the mini-blinds at the shop below to see Adam and Tory walking in together. In all of Jamie's exhausted anxiety, he hadn't even noticed that Tory was late as well. Covered in grease up to their elbows, both men opened their small lockers and tucked their personal belongings out of the way. From his perch on the second floor, Jamie could see that the two were joking about something, but the distance between them and the closed door made it impossible to tell what was actually being said. Adam pointed at Tory and nodded quickly before making his way up to Jamie's office. Not wanting to get caught spying, Jamie pushed his chair back to his desk and spread open a manila folder to make it look like he'd been working. Without knocking, Adam opened Jamie's door and let himself into his office.

"What happened to you?" Jamie asked as he got an up-close look at the state Adam was in. His face and arms were smeared with a slick brownish black coating of grime.

"I was halfway here when Tory called me and said that his car had broken down on the 80, so I turned around to go help him out." He paused, realizing that none of this was registering with Jamie. "He said he'd call and let ya know we'd be late." Jamie's unchanged expression betrayed all evidence that Tory hadn't actually called in for them. "Uh, hey. Did I leave some stuff here last night?" Adam asked, knowing full well that blathering on about Tory's junker wasn't going to make a damn bit of difference to Jamie.

Jamie took a moment to register what Adam had said. "Yeah," he said suddenly, pointing to the drill and mallet on the far corner of his desk.

"Ah." Adam stepped over and picked up his belongings, relieved that they hadn't been stolen like he'd originally feared. Knowing that his possessions were safe, he turned to get a late start on his project.

"Hey," Jamie said, stopping him just before he was able to open the door. "Uhhh.... About last night..."

Adam turned around, taking a second to remember the night before. Somehow, he knew that Jamie didn't want to talk about how he'd nearly cried like a bitch down in the shop. "It's fine," he said casually. "Don't worry about it. No big deal."

Before Jamie could even think of a response, Adam swung the door open and was half way down the hall, yelling at Tory in jest for making him an hour late for work. Tory shouted a hearty "fuck you" back as Jamie got up to shut his office door. The odd young man's willingness to forget about Jamie's faux pas the previous night was enough to stop the buzzing in the room. The vice around his chest seemed to loosen, but not by much. He was still only going on two hours of sleep, and he knew that in his current state of mind, he'd be useless down in the shop. Sitting back down behind his desk, he began actually going over the paper work he'd been pretending to look at when Adam walked in on him.

Ω Ω Ω


As Adam worked on sculpting the foam beginning of what would eventually be a latex monster mask, he felt someone tug at something near his ribs. It took him a few bobs of his head to realize that the music he had been pumping through his cherry red headphones had cut out. He looked up to see Jamie standing over his shoulder with a sheet of concept sketches in his hand.

"What the hell do I have Jon around for?" he mused to himself, comparing the half-formed block of foam to the concepts.

Adam had been working for Jamie long enough to know that was about as close to a compliment he'd ever hear from the man, but he still hadn't figured out how to respond to the statements. Instead, he reached down to pause the CD player that was strapped to his belt and continued scraping away at the blue block with his delicate potter's tools. Jamie didn't interrupt his workers unless he had something serious to say, so Adam worked until Jamie final said it.

"The boys with their mother tonight?" Jamie finally asked, still looking down at the concept sketches.

Adam nodded. "That's what our schedule has worked out, and nobody's called me to ask why they haven't been picked up yet," he answered.

"Good." Jamie put the concept sketches back on the work bench and continued on his rounds.

Adam watched as he went to go check up on one of the interns, his jaw slack as he tried to figure out why Jamie had just asked about the boys. Shaking his head lightly, he plugged his headphones back into the port on his CD player and hit play, falling back into Chris Barron's bouncing lyrics, again letting his head rock with the beat.

He worked slowly, paying more attention to Jamie as he moved through the shop than he did to his project. He watched as his boss wandered from work station to work station, checking up on status reports and helping anyone who was brave enough to ask. As soon as Jamie looked like he was about to retreat back to his office to follow up on telephone calls, or whatever it was he did up there while everyone else worked, Adam took off his headphones and put his CD player down on the bench. What the hell did Jamie want when he asked about the boys? Adam kept reminding himself not to run as he tried to catch up with Jamie. The older man didn't even notice he was being followed until Adam's heavy boots began assaulting the stairs. Jamie turned around abruptly, catching Adam off his guard.

"What was that about back there?" Adam asked, trying not to sound demanding.

"What?" Jamie asked, turning back around to continue on his path. Adam followed.

"You asked where the boys were gonna be this weekend, and then... that was it." Adam tried to keep his distance from Jamie without looking like he was keeping his distance.

"Oh," Jamie said as he opened his office door. Adam cautiously followed him. "I just wanted to make sure you'd be available for dinner tonight." Jamie sat down at his desk and picked up his phone before looking back at Adam. "You did buy me drinks twice, ya know."

He waved Adam out of his office as he rested the telephone receiver on his shoulder and dialed a ten-digit number from memory.


Ω Ω Ω

Adam agreed to follow Jamie home solely for the reason that he was sick to death of eating take-out almost every night, and the promise of a real home-cooked meal was almost too much for him to stand.

Jamie was not an easy person to follow. He stayed a consistent 15 above the limit, and wove through the heavy rush hour traffic that dominated the 101. After about ten minutes of playing a deadly game of follow the leader, Adam realized that Jamie was taking him to South San Francisco. It seemed to fit for him, Adam thought to himself.

Adam almost lost the white pick-up he was following as Jamie merged onto the 380. By this point, Adam was driving blind. He'd never been to South Frisco before, and trying to negotiate another merge onto the 280 after not even 15 seconds was almost enough to make him want to turn around and enjoy a frozen pizza for dinner instead. A few seconds onto the 280, Jamie began to slow down. Adam wasn't sure if it was to let him catch up, or because they were coming up on the exit, but he took the opportunity to close the gap between himself and Jamie. A few minutes later, Jamie bullied his way into the far right lane, forcing Adam to follow lest he miss the exit. Adam followed the white pick-up as best he could once they started negotiating the surface streets, finding himself quite relieved when Jamie finally pulled to a stop on the side of the road. Adam parked his sedan on the other side of the street and cautiously stepped out to the pavement. He looked around at the neighbourhood Jamie called home, not used to seeing so much space between houses. Each unit had a decent-sized yard, and most houses were only one story. Adam suddenly realized that he hadn't actually been in the suburbs since before he decided to try out film school. He ignored the sudden tinge of depression in his chest and walked across the street to help Jamie unload the bed of his truck.

"You keep up alright?" Jamie asked, handing a large tool box off to Adam.

"No," he answered, chuckling slightly. "You fucking maniac."

Jamie shook his head as he led the way up to the front door. "You just gotta learn to keep up."

Adam frowned slightly at the remark, knowing that he'd done damn well for someone who'd never been to South Frisco. He forced himself to ignore the comment as Jamie opened the front door to his home and led Adam inside. Following Jamie's example, he sat the tool box on the floor near the door before crossing the entry way and walking into the spacious living room. Looking at the walls, Adam couldn't help but wonder if Jamie had just moved in. Of course he left the walls white. He wasn't the type to change anything he didn't have to change.

"Oh, hey. Cool!" Adam exclaimed, noticing a large terrarium against the far wall. He approached the glass box and peered into the small habitat, finding a small constrictor curled up in the corner. "What is this?" he asked. "A boa?"

Jamie shook his head. "He's a python!" he said, amazed that Adam couldn't tell the difference.

Adam shrugged as he bent over to get a closer look at the sleeping reptile.

"Wanna see him eat?" Jamie offered.

Adam's face lost its colour for a few seconds as he shook his head. "No, I'm... alright," he said slowly. He stood up, finding a smaller terrarium at eye level. He curiously peered through the glass as a giant fuzzy spider jumped toward his face. He felt a scream leave his chest as he stumbled backwards and almost knocked Jamie over.

"Oh, jeez, you big baby," Jamie said as he steadied Adam on his feet. Spinning the young man around by the shoulders, he forced Adam down onto the sofa. "Sit down before you hurt yourself."

"Is everything alright?" A woman about Jamie's age rushed into the living room from the back yard, wearing a look of concern on her face. She noticed Adam sitting on the sofa, his terrified eyes locked on the small glass tank.

"Yeah," Jamie said as he walked into the kitchen. He pulled a large dish towel out of a drawer near the sink and returned to the living room. "I forgot he's afraid of spiders," he explained as he covered the tank with the dish towel.

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Hyneman asked tenderly.

Adam nodded, but just barely. He still hadn't looked away from that horrible, evil tank.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked.

Again, Adam nodded weakly. As Mrs. Hyneman left the room, she mouthed something to her husband. Jamie rolled his eyes and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa.

"There," he said. "See. It's gone. Not there any more."

The pre-schooler logic seemed to work on Adam. He relaxed slightly and allowed himself to sink into the thick sofa cushions, only taking his eyes off of the covered tank when Jamie's wife returned with an open bottle of beer.

"Here you go," she said sweetly as she handed it to him.

"Thank you," he said, forcing a weak smile.

"Oh, here," Adam said and he jumped up from his seat on the back patio. Before he'd gotten completely out of his chair, he heard something shatter on the cement. He looked down at his feet, noticing that he had knocked over his freshly-opened bottle of beer.

"Adam," Jamie sighed as he got up to walk back inside to the kitchen. He came back out with a plastic bag, and knelt down to help Adam clean up the mess of shattered glass. "You're a nice kid, but you've really got to slow down sometimes,"

"Sorry, Jamie," the younger man replied. He tossed the busted glass into the bag Jamie held and sat back down in his seat.

Shaking his head, Jamie tossed the bag full of broken glass into a small trash bin and walked back over to his grill. "Let's try this again without Mister Savage getting up this time."

Adam laughed nervously as his face flushed red. He reached down into the small blue cooler and retrieved himself a fresh bottle, using his belt buckle to pry off the cap. He awkwardly tried to roll the small cap over his knuckles, but its small size and sharp ridges caused him to drop it in his lap. As he picked it back up, he positioned it between his thumb and middle finger, and with a snapping motion, launched the small piece of tin at Jamie, bouncing it off of his scalp.

"Hey, now," Jamie said, rubbing the spot where the cap hit with his fingers. "Cut it out."

Adam chuckled to himself and leaned forward in his seat. "You need help there, Hyneman?" he asked.

"No," Jamie replied simply as he checked to make sure nothing was burning. "You just break things when you try to help. Stay there."

Adam frowned, an action not missed by Irene. She leaned across the table and gently touched Adam's arm.

"He doesn't mean it like that, honey," she assured. "It's just his way of saying he has it all... under control."

Not sure what to make of his new-found enlightenment, Adam remained silent.

"So, Jamie says you have kids?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation back out of the ditch.

Adam nodded and took a quick drink of his beer. "Yeah," he said, quickly adopting th grin of a proud father. "Twin boys. They're just getting to the age where they're learning how to argue."

"Twins?" Jamie asked, rejoining the conversation. He turned to look at Adam, not sure if he'd heard correctly.

Adam nodded, trilled to have finally gotten one up on the older man. "Yeah," he said, nodding slightly. "Not all twins are identical, Jamie."

"I--err--uhh... I knew that," Jamie said. "I just wasn't..." He trailed off, turning back to his grilling duties.

Adam laughed and leaned back in his seat. "What was that there, Hyneman?" he asked.

Jamie shook his head and walked back inside. "Nothing," he said. He grabbed a pair of tongs from the kitchen and returned to the back yard. "Shut up and grab a plate."

Adam happily did as he was told before stepping over to the grill. "So, why...no...kids?" Adam asked awkwardly, realizing as he said the words that it was too late to abort. Jamie shot him a sideways glance, but before he could start screaming, Irene stepped up with a well-rehearsed answer.

"We've always both been too involved with our careers to even think about that," she explained. Adam suspected that they got that question more frequently than they would have liked.

Adam nodded. "Makes sense," he said. He handed his plate over to Jamie.

"I'm assuming you're not Jewish," he said as he picked up several pork ribs from the grill and moved them to Adam's plate.

The younger man laughed, quickly running his hand through his mess of red hair. "What gave it away?" he asked as he took the plate from Jamie. He quickly sat back down at the glass patio table, and without waiting for the other two to join him, began eating. "Oh my god. Jamie," he said after his first bite. "Marry me."

Jamie sighed and shook his head as he sat down, himself. "I don't think that's legal, Bub."

Adam laughed and looked over at Irene. "I'm serious," he said. "I just might have to steal him away from you."

She shook her head and playfully swatted at the young man with her napkin. "I don't think so, Mister."