Unavoidable Truths

Chapter Six

Charlie was at his desk pondering the revelation of yesterday and the discovery of Don's feelings, when he heard a discreet knock on his office door. He looked up and smiled when he saw Megan and David standing there with huge grins on their faces.

"Hey, guys. Come in. What can I do for the two of you?" Charlie looked down at his papers in front of him and scowled when he realized that he still hadn't finished grading his last class' exams due to his preoccupation about Don and he had a feeling that the presence of the two FBI agents would throw another road block into completing his tasks.

"Charlie, is now a bad time?" Megan asked as she and David approached his cluttered desk.

"I guess that all depends on what you need me for. What's up?"

"Well, as you've probably heard from Don, the office is doing a review of cold cases. David and I came across one we think could use your expertise. You'd only have to work on it in your spare time. Don's orders, since he said you'd probably be busy with end of semester grading. We'd be your contacts and that if you needed something, like additional data or whatever, we'd come to you."

Charlie felt a sinking in his stomach. He wasn't sure if he was reading more into the situation than warranted, but it felt like Don was already starting to put distance between the two of them, even though his brother had said he wouldn't. Had something changed in the last day?

"Uh, sure. What kind of case is it?" Charlie held out his hand expectantly and Megan gave him the stack of files she'd been carrying.

"It's really a string of repeats. Kidnapping and murder. Men from the age of 18 to 25. They never caught the perpetrator and after six cases reported, everything just died out and all leads ran cold. We're hoping with a fresh eye and your way with numbers, that you might spot something," David said.

Charlie flipped quickly through the six folders; he looked briefly at the pictures of each man to see if there was a common starting point. However, no commonalities could be seen at first glance.

"Have either of you tried to do a search on a pattern of six killings in other jurisdictions? Maybe instead of men, perhaps six women or six elderly or... You get the picture. Again with possible dead end trails?" Charlie asked as he continued to look through for key points that he could formulate an algorithm around.

Megan nodded and answered, "Yeah, at least for men again in the same age group. We'll look for other groupings of just six. Who knows, maybe they've already caught the perp and he just never confessed to these other murders."

Charlie caught the use of the pronoun 'he.' "You think the suspect is male?"

"I think so, yes. Based on certain psychological factors along with the fact that four of the six men in that list were in good shape, athletic and they all showed signs of heavy physical abuse before they were killed. Plus, there were signs that that the victims did fight back, whether initially or later, we have no way of knowing. So, whoever the murderer was, they had to have strength -- possibly training -- to subdue them."

Charlie hummed in agreement. He rubbed two fingers of his right hand just above his eyebrow in concentration. "Okay, I'll see what I can come up with on this data set, but hopefully with more data, I'll be able to narrow things down."

"Thanks man. We appreciate this." David stood as he spoke. "We'll get out of your hair, so you can get back to work."

"Yes, we appreciate this Charlie. And really, this isn't a rush job, take your time." Megan smiled and waved good-bye; David followed her quietly out the door.

When they were no longer in sight and their footsteps were just an echo in the hallway, Charlie closed all the file folders and put them in a neat stack on his desk off to the side of the exams. He crossed his arms atop both piles and dropped his head down with a heavy sigh. He really hoped he was misinterpreting the situation with Don; that Don wasn't pushing him out and away.
Later that evening, Don laid on his couch and surfed the channels, as he tried to find something mind numbing to watch and hopefully relax. He had a splitting headache and had hoped the beer he was currently sipping on would help him unwind. So far, the first one hadn't gotten him to the state he wanted.

By the time he had gone through two more beers, he finally felt somewhat more human and the comedy he had settled on helped with the numb mind.

Just as he was about to doze off, a rapid series of knocks on his apartment door jarred him. Don jerked back, awake now and when he sat up, preceded to knock over the empties sitting on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. The clattering noise caused him to swear at whoever was bothering him that late at night.

Outside the door, Charlie listened to the vocal aspersions being heaped on his head and he glanced down at his watch to see that it was still moderately early by even Don's standards and wondered how bad a day Don had actually gone through.

The chains and locks were disabled and a muttered "what" could be heard before the door was entirely opened.

As soon as Charlie got a good look at his brother, he realized the source of Don's surliness. "Geez, Don. You look like shit. Bad day?"

Charlie moved past Don as he entered, dropped his bags down and went straight to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

"Uh, yeah. Just help yourself to whatever, Charlie," Don said with a tinge of sarcasm to his voice. He closed the door and decided to forgo doing the locks, hoping his brother wouldn't be there long enough. Don thought a bottle of water was a good idea and followed behind Charlie to the fridge to get one as well. The taste of beer had lingered just a little too long in his mouth and throat to be enjoyable.

"Why are you here, Charlie?" Don looked at his younger brother over the bottle as he tipped it back for a few swallows.

Charlie had taken a seat on the couch and was playing with the label on the bottle. He looked intensely at the beer bottles lying discarded on the floor, before he answered, "Have you changed your mind, Don?"

"What? Charlie, changed my mind about what?"

Charlie had sighed a lot in the last few days, several times today already, in fact. He sighed once more in frustration. He took a swallow of water to clear his throat and looked up at Don, straight in the eye. "Cutting me out of your life. Keeping me away from your work. Is that what today was about Don, when you sent Megan and David to me, instead of asking me to come into your office?"

The headache Don thought he had gotten rid of returned with a vengeance. The dull ache behind his eyes became acute and tension settled into his neck and shoulders. Don winced at the pain.

"A little, but not for the reasons you think, Charlie." Don moved to the couch and sat down next to Charlie with care, but then stopped himself from getting comfortable, got back up again and went to get some aspirin.

Charlie waited patiently for a more detailed explanation, though he longed to drag the truth from his brother without delay.

When Don was once more seated, he continued, "Charlie, after only one day of being in my presence, you figured out what was going on with me. I might not want to act the way I have been these last few days, but I'm bound to give some small action or look away. Megan, David and Colby are trained observers; therefore, they might clue in to things as well. Charlie, I can't have that happening. At least, not right now. My defenses are lowered and these feelings are too new. I need time to clamp a lid on them."

Charlie looked at Don in confusion. "But you said you had no compulsion to act on the feelings. How can you think it will show, if that were the case?"

Don's headache escalated at Charlie's willful ignorance. "Charlie! Just because my conscience tells me it's wrong to want you, my body still responds. Jesus, Charlie, I'm not just in love with you, I find you very attractive and highly desirable." By the end, Don was almost shouting at his brother and when the silence fell between them Don was almost afraid to look at Charlie, certain he would see disgust on his brother's face.

"Oh," was all that came as a response from Charlie. The silence, with nothing beyond the sound of two men breathing, stretched from seconds into minutes.

Don sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, willing the aspirin to work faster, because the headache was definitely turning into a migraine.

"I knew that, I just... I mean I knew about the love and wanting part. But not..

"You find me attractive?" Charlie's voice cracked on the last word, like his voice had done often when he'd hit puberty. It caused Don to crack a smile in remembrance.

"Yes, Charlie. If you weren't my brother and if being bisexual or homosexual or whatever, weren't so totally new to my life, I'd certainly make a pass at you."

"New? I thought maybe you had.. you know, before." Charlie waved a hand between them to try and illustrate his point, even though he couldn't really say the words.

Don shook his head and snorted, "I almost wish that were the case. I'm 38 years old and discovering something new like this, this late in my life, has certainly thrown me for a loop.

"Earlier today, after Megan and David had left the office to go see you, I thought to myself that it would have been a hell of a lot easier if I had found a male coworker attractive. Just attractive. I could deal with that, because typically the attraction comes first. Then I pursue them, and it's only after I've dated them that I might think myself in love.

"With you, I realized I loved you first. So Saturday night, I tried to convince myself that I loved you just as a brother and as a friend. That it didn't go further than that, because I hadn't let myself see how beautiful and attractive you are. Then the next morning, you come out of the bathroom still wet from the shower and clothed only in a thin bath towel around your waist and that blew apart my entire wall of denial I had tried to build for myself and hide behind. I wanted you Charlie, in that instant. I wanted to touch you and..." It was here that Don's speech faltered and Charlie saw a blush sweep across Don's face. And Charlie understood then what his brother meant about the body wanting something, even though the conscience tells you not to. Intellect versus the physical. One necessarily couldn't control the other.

"So, are we good again?" Don asked nervously.

"Yeah, we're good. I should probably get going and leave you to enjoy the rest of your evening in peace, while I go home and finish grading." Charlie stood up and walked back to the entrance. He picked up his bags from where he dropped them earlier and slung them over his shoulder with a small grunt.

"How much longer before the semester is truly over?" Don leaned up next to the wall just inside the small entry hallway; he crossed his arms in order to prevent himself from doing something stupid -- like give Charlie a more than friendly hug. For in the last few minutes, the stress and strain of Charlie's emotions were finally taking their toll and now his brother looked like shit too and Don wanted to comfort him.

"Friday is the end, after that I've got a few weeks of vacation I definitely plan on using and then when I get back, I'm going to spend the summer focusing on my own research. Of course, I'll also be available to you... to the FBI for any case work."

"Vacation, huh? Where are you going? Because I was thinking of taking some time off as well," Don ask nonchalantly, unsure himself about his motives for even asking.

Charlie smirked and decided to tease Don a little bit. "Vegas. I thought I might recoup some of the money from purchasing the house and I'll need additional cash for sure to do the upgrades for it as well. So, are you asking because you might want to come along or are you asking so not to visit the same location and prevent us from running into one another?"

Don smiled, glad that Charlie wasn't upset and could even tease about his last option being true. "Vegas sounds good. Let me see if I can get the time off with such short notice and if I do, I'll be happy to join you. I could stand to lose a few bucks. It's not like I spend much on anything else beyond the basics."

Charlie nodded in understanding, and Don watched as the dark, silky looking curls brushed and caught the edges of Charlie's jaw, tangling in his stubble. The sight caught him and longing spiraled through him again, this time urging him to twine his fingers into his brother's hair. Don's breathing hitched as the hunger rushed through his body so quickly and he clenched his jaw and hands into fists fighting to control himself, to prevent himself from taking action.

Charlie's eyes flew wide open as he saw the change in Don and realized it was one of those times where desire fought with control and the lust Don was feeling could be seen in his eyes and in the tight way he held his body. As much as Charlie was stunned and intrigued by the vision of an aroused Don, he was sure that Don would be more grateful to him if he removed the object of temptation from his brother's sight. So he stuttered out to Don a good-bye as he walked backwards to the door, and then turned and left the apartment carefully closing the door as he left.

Don came back to the present as he barely heard Charlie's farewell and then saw only the door closing. Don visibly deflated in defeat and sadness. For he was certain, that having finally seen Don physically respond to Charlie, that Charlie truly understood the magnitude and depravity of the situation. Don could only hope that a call to apologize would set things straight between them.

TBC


A/N: This chapter was roughly beta read by Separatrix and Taran, any remaining errors are my own. Definitely AU after Season 2 and does not incorporate anything from Season 3.