In The Dark

Lucas hurts all over. The painkillers have long since worn off and now everywhere, from his eyes to his ass, are screaming for relief from the pain. But Lucas remains silent, staring off into the distance as he’s asked the same questions over and over.

Keith sits beside him, watching the boy helplessly. “Luke, you need to answer.”

“I did.” Lucas mutters, weakly. His eyes still don’t focus.

“I need to go over this one more time.” The police officer states, the tone of his voice suggesting sympathy for the obviously traumatised teenager. “What did your father say when he arrived?”

Lucas flinches briefly, feeling tears well up all over again. “He was angry that I insulted him at the game. He wanted me to come home.”

“And you said no?” The officer asks again.

Lucas nods. “I told him he’s a violent drunk and he got angry. He hit me and began tearing the place up.”

“Can you remember exactly what happened?” The officer probes, checking off Lucas’ story against the previous two versions.

“He broke the phone,” Lucas says, quietly, “when I tried to call for help.”

Keith is struggling to keep his own tears back as he watches Lucas’ pain, having to relive this over and over. His anger over Dan’s actions are quelled only by his concern for the boy he thinks of as a son.

“He took everything out of the closet and said when Nathan got back, he’d take us both home.” Lucas explains. “I begged him to leave Nathan out of it and he…”

“It’s okay, Luke, take your time.” Keith tries to place a hand on his nephew’s shoulder comfortingly, but Lucas tenses away from him.

“He strangled me. I thought he was going to kill me.” Lucas’ tears begin running down his cheek.

“Where were you at this point?”

“The kitchen…” Lucas answers.

“But you said he started strangling you while he was taking things from your closet.” The officer points out, frowning.

Lucas tries desperately not to be thrown by this. He tries to remember what he said last time. “He dragged me into the bedroom to help him get our stuff. Nathan called…my phone was in the kitchen, so we went to answer it. That’s when he mentioned hurting Nathan. I screamed at him and he strangled me…”

Nodding, the officer looks from Lucas to Keith. “I think that’s enough for today.”

“I stabbed him…” Lucas whispers, closing his eyes to block it all out. “Oh God…”

“Luke, it’s okay, its over.” Keith assures him. “We’re taking you home now.”

“Nathan…” Lucas looks up suddenly. “Where is he? You can’t leave him on his own, he has nightmares…”

“Nathan’s at home with his mother.” The officer answers. “He’ll be fine.”

Lucas nods; feeling mildly better knowing his brother is safe. “I want mom.” He tells Keith, sounding so much younger than his seventeen years.

“She’s right outside waiting for you.” Keith tells him.

As they leave the interview room, Lucas looks over at the police officer and with his voice shaking, asks, “Is he alive?”

He doesn’t answer, looking over at Keith with an undecipherable expression.

“We’ll talk about that tomorrow.” Keith says, softly. “You need some sleep now.”

“Lucas!” Karen runs to her son, holding him tighter than she ever has before. “Thank God you’re okay. I won’t ever let anybody hurt you ever again.”

Lucas is grateful for her words and even more so for her presence, but there’s a dark feeling in the pit of his stomach that doesn’t let him feel safe. He has to know for sure whether Dan is alive or not. Only then can he believe his mother’s promise.

As Karen leads her son off towards the exit, Keith stays behind to talk with the police officer. “Level with me, Stan. Is Lucas in trouble here?”

The man sighs, shrugging. “You know I can’t talk this over with you. Not until we’ve finished our investigation.”

“Come on, how long have we known each other?” Keith hates to play the ‘I saved your ass from bullies back in high school’ card, but he doesn’t hesitate to do it.

“Look, as far as I can see, all evidence is in your nephew’s favour. We’ve taken photos of all the injuries as well as the damage to the apartment. Lucas’ story is shaky, but that’s to be expected after what he’s been through. My problem is that we can’t do anything until we know whether your brother’s going to make it or not.”

“The bastard deserves worse than death.” Keith mutters, darkly. “I knew he had a temper on him, but this? Trying to kill his own son?”

“Nathan Scott has testified that he’s suffered similar violent behaviour in the past.” Stan admits. “That’s going to go a long way in supporting Lucas’ case. We’ll also be talking with Dan’s wife. We might even need a statement from you.”

Keith nods. “Of course.”

“If we can determine that this was an act of self-defence, Lucas could very well be let off without so much as a warning. I’ve seen it happen. However, if Dan wakes up and gives us a different story, then things could get ugly.” Stan explains. “It is likely that Dan will serve a prison sentence for GBH with intent. We could push for attempted murder, but with no witnesses, it’s a long shot.”

“I understand.” Keith says, keeping his own anger in check. “Thanks, I appreciate you letting me know what’s going on.”

“Everything I’ve just said could change in an instant, I just want you to know that.” Stan explains. “Nothing is for certain right now, the investigation has only just begun. This could take weeks, even months, to end. And I can’t promise it’ll be a happy one.”

“Yeah, I know.” Keith gives him a tight smile. “I better go, take care of my family. Thanks for your help, Stan.”

“Anytime, Keith.”

*~*~*~*

“Mom?” Nathan calls out, quietly. He hovers at the living room doorway, staring at a silhouette. “Mom, is that you?” He flicks the light switch on, casting light over the dark room and exposing the shadow.

Deb just stands there, looking out at the night, tear stains on her cheeks. She finally looks over at Nathan, her expression unreadable.

“Are you okay?”

“No, Nathan, I’m not okay.” Deb replies, her voice shaking. “But I should be asking you that question.”

“Don’t. I’m fine.” Nathan lies, walking over to her. “Why are you standing in the dark?”

“I don’t know.” She admits, picking up her glass of vodka and taking a big sip. “I let you down. It’s because of me. I let that man hurt you and Lucas. This whole mess is my fault.”

“No, mom…” Nathan argues. “It’s his fault! He’s the psycho.”

“Nathan, why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known…” Tears continue to fall down her face, silently.

Nathan can’t help but feel guilty for putting his mom through this. He’s kept so much from her; now that some of it’s out he wishes he could take it all back. It also makes him grateful the rest of the secret looks like it’s going to stay buried. “He didn’t do anything that bad.” Nathan lies. “Just got angry sometimes and hit me. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“But if you’d told someone, Lucas…” Deb breaks off just in time, the alcohol severely affecting her ability to control herself.

Nathan looks as if he’s the one who’s been stabbed.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean that!” Deb backtracks quickly. “I’m so sorry, that’s not true…”

“Yeah, it is.” Nathan states, coldly. “I kept my mouth shut to protect people from the truth and because of that Lucas suffered. He’s better off without me.”

“No, Nathan, don’t say that!” Deb shouts at him. “Lucas needs you right now. You need each other.”

Nathan isn’t so sure anymore. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s back at home where he belongs…and so am I.”

“You’re staying?” Deb asks, hopefully.

Nathan nods. “For a while. There’s not much chance of Haley and I getting back together. And I figure you need someone around, to stop you from getting drunk only a matter of hours after getting out of rehab…”

Deb sets her drink down. “I don’t have a drinking problem.”

”But you have a problem. And you have to stop using drugs to fix it.” Nathan tells her. “I need you to be here for me, okay? Dad’s gone…he can’t hurt us anymore.”

Deb nods, tears rushing back to her eyes. “I love you, Nathan.”

”Love you too, mom.” Nathan gives her a hug, his own eyes drifting to the window, only their reflection visible now.

*~*~*~*

Nathan wakes up to feel a hand over his mouth, preventing him from crying out. He desperately tries to dislodge it, but another hand forces his arms above his head, rendering him helpless.

“Shh!” Dan whispers. “Do you want your mother to hear?”

Nathan screams into the hand in absolute horror as Dan climbs over him, pinning his body down onto the mattress. “I told you this wasn’t over, Nate. It’ll never be over…”

“Nathan!”

Deb’s voice is at the door, desperately trying to break it down. But Dan doesn’t seem to hear it. He’s getting ready to slam into his younger son, a look a triumph on his face. “I’ve missed this...”

“Nathan, wake up!” Deb shouts.

Jolting awake, Nathan breathes heavily, his eyes darting round the room to see if he’s safe. It takes a while, but he finally coaxes his heart to stop pounding its way out of his chest.

“Honey, you were having a nightmare.” Deb explains, almost as panicked as he is as she sits on his bed, beside him.

Nathan doesn’t look so sure. It felt so real…but then, they always do. “Sorry I woke you.”

“Nathan…” Deb regards him seriously, watching his face for something, though Nathan has no idea what. “You said some things in your sleep…”

His heart goes from speeding to an emergency stop. “It was just a dream, mom.”

“Nathan! You were…you were talking about your father.” Deb says, looking rather upset. “You were begging him to stop, saying ‘don’t touch me’. Is there something else you’re not telling me?”

Nathan can’t look her in the eye, but his face remains stoic. “Just a dream.”

“If your father has hurt you in anyway, I have to know.” Deb pleads with him. “Nathan, has he ever touched you in a way that…?”

Nathan jumps off the bed, grabbing his clothes and putting them on as quickly as he can.

“Where are you going? Nathan, talk to me!”

“Nothing to talk about. I just don’t want to listen to this.” Nathan explains, pulling his sneakers on and grabbing his wallet and car keys. “I need to go out for a while.”

“Where?” Deb demands. “Nathan, it’s three o’clock in the morning!”

“I need fresh air.” Nathan mutters, walking out.

*~*~*~*

Lucas thinks he may just know the pattern on his ceiling off by heart, he’s been staring at it for so long. His body is exhausted, begging for sleep. But he has yet to close his eyes for longer than a few minutes, still haunted by the vision of his dead father.

Rolling over, he tries to reach out and hold Nathan, but instead of his brother, there’s empty space. He tosses and turns restlessly, trying to force himself to sleep, but nothing is working. Trying only makes it worse, so he steps out of the bed and paces round his room, aimlessly.

After a few minutes of pacing, Lucas is interrupted by a soft knock at his door. He freezes, wanting to call out for his mom but unable to make a sound.

“Lucas?”

The sound of the voice drives all that fear away and Lucas quickly opens the door, letting Nathan inside. He quickly embraces his brother, holding him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Nathan finds his own peace again, his concern over Lucas overtaking all his own fears. “Can’t sleep either?”

Lucas shakes his head, miserably. “They won’t even tell me if he’s dead or not.”

“He’s alive.” Nathan tells him. “Barely. He hasn’t woken up yet.”

Lucas collapses back on the bed, not sure whether this is good news or not. “I really fucked things up this time.”

“What? No!” Nathan argues. “I won’t say it again, Lucas. This is not your fault, you did what you had to!”

“I could go to prison over this.” Lucas trembles, grateful when Nathan sits beside him and puts his arm round his shoulder. “But I didn’t tell them about the other stuff. I couldn’t…”

“Whatever you want.” Nathan says, comfortingly. “But, I should tell you…my mom overheard a nightmare I had. She suspects something.”

Lucas rests his head against Nathan’s chest. “I wish I could be there to stop the nightmares.”

“I think our moms need us right now.” Nathan explains. “And maybe we need them. You’re better off here. I’m not exactly the best person in your life, I can’t protect you…”

Lucas’ head shoots up, his eyes fierce with denial. “You’re the only person who can! You take care of me! Nathan, if it weren’t for you I’d never have got back on my feet after the first time. I need you!”

Nathan shakes his head and stands up, walking away from Lucas. “The truth is, if I hadn’t tried to help you, you’d have gone to the police and it never would have happened a second time. I was so caught up in protecting us from people knowing, I didn’t protect us from him! The way I see it, it’s as much my fault as it is Dan’s. I did nothing but help him from the start.”

“I don’t want people to know, either! I didn’t tell anybody.” Lucas points out. “Things have worked out…he’s never going to hurt us again and no one ever has to find out about what’s happened!”

“At what price? You had to go through that again. You’re being investigated for murder! Why is this all on you? Why don’t I get punished?” Nathan looks at Lucas, his eyes filled with guilt and pain. “I deserve so much worse than this for letting him do this to you.”

Lucas begins to cry at Nathan’s words, seeing how torn up his usually so together brother is. “Please stop beating yourself up over this! Dan’s still winning and he’s not even here! I need you to be the strong Nathan who knows how to fix this…please don’t fall apart on me now.”

“I can’t be that guy right now.” Nathan tells him, beginning to control himself. “I can’t fix anything! It was stupid thinking I ever could. You’re going to be just fine without me. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” He heads to the door, unable to look at the heartbreak in Lucas’ eyes.

“You selfish bastard.” Lucas grinds out.

Nathan stops and looks back, his expression unreadable.

“You take care of me…make me need you…make me love you! And when things get really bad, you complain I’m the one dealing with all the consequences and walk away to let me deal with them alone? We’re supposed to be in this together! If you feel bad you weren’t there…or that your decision to keep it a secret was the wrong choice to make, why don’t you do something about it? I still need you! Dan’s still alive and if he dies, I could go to prison for murder. If he lives, it’s going to get even worse! Dan knows about us. And he’s going to talk his way out of this and want his revenge…” Lucas is shaking now. It’s not that these thoughts haven’t already occurred to him before…but saying them makes them so much more real. “I don’t know whether I want him dead or alive! God, Nathan, what does that make me? What kind of person am I?”

Nathan wants to keep walking. Wants to leave this behind because he still believes that without him, Lucas will be better off. But seeing his brother so messed up isn’t easy, and he knows he can’t leave. “You’re a better person than I am.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t almost kill your own father.” Lucas mutters, hopelessly.

Nathan frowns, remaining silent for a while. When he finally snaps back into it, he looks far more in control of his emotions. “I have to go.”

“Nathan, just stay with me, please.” Lucas begs. “I need you!”

“I’m sorry, I really have to go.” Nathan practically takes off, not even giving Lucas a second look as he disappears into the night.

Felling utterly destroyed by Nathan’s hot and cold behaviour, Lucas just shuts and locks the door, sinking down to the floor, no longer able to cry.

*~*~*~*

“I have Mr. Scott’s chart.” A doctor says, casually, passing over a clipboard to another doctor. There’s an exchange, most of which Nathan can’t hear. But he gets the gist of it. Dan’s improving.

Nathan waits until he sees an opening before walking past reception and towards his father’s hospital room. He tries to act like he belongs there, like he isn’t doing anything wrong. His mind is so focused on getting there; he still has no idea what he’s going to do once he arrives.

He manages to slip into the room virtually unnoticed. No one questions his presence. Nathan closes the door softly and walks slowly to his father’s side, watching the man sleep.

“Hey Dad.” Nathan says, coldly. When Dan doesn’t answer, he inspects the heart monitor, looking for the off switch. His fingers are shaking as the beeping stops. He knows he has to move fast, but he really hasn’t thought this out. He’s sure he can take the blame away from Lucas if he’s the one responsible and making sure Dan never hurts them again is more than enough reason to go through with it. Nathan reaches over and takes a pillow from a nearby chair, holding it in his hands, his heart pounding. “Goodbye Dad.”

*~*~*~*