Small Miracles

Small Miracles 6.

Due to the vagaries of ships' time and satellite connections, Dill and Ty sat in Ross’ quarters at 07:33, ready to speak to Hilary. Dill was not happy, and had told him so in no uncertain terms, hence the long faces they both wore. McQueen had woken her earlier with soft, gentle kisses, and they’d spent an enjoyable hour making each other feel good before he’d broken the news to her. She’d instantly accused him of trying to ‘butter her up’, and had been in a foul mood ever since.

“Please, Dill,” he pleaded. “Hilary can help us. She can help us to see it clearly. I’m sorry about earlier. I swear that had nothing to do with this.”

“Yes it did. You just wanted to get me in a good mood before you told me you’d set this up!” she snapped at him. ”You’re a bloody, sneaky shit!”

“Don’t, Dill!” he cried. “Don’t be like this, please.”

“Stop it, Ty, just stop it. You’re a grown man. Stop whining and start acting like one!”

“Children, please!” came Hilary’s voice over the link. “I can see we have our work cut out for us. It’s a good job that today I can give you as long as you need.” She smiled at them. “So, who’s going to tell me what the matter is? T.C.?”

Glancing at Dill's scowling face, Ty turned to the vid screen. ”Last night Dill said some things to me. She’s right. You’re right. But I don’t know what to do,” he told Hilary.

“That’s what you said in your mail, T.C., but what things? Why don’t you know?” Hilary asked.

“I told him that it’s about bloody time he took care of me once in a while!” Dill growled. “It’s always me telling him that everything will be okay. That I love him and won’t let anything bad happen to him. I’m always the one comforting him. Well, I need comfort too, and I don’t get it!”

”Dill's fed up being my mother,” Ty said, his voice low. ”She doesn’t want to take care of me anymore. All I do is behave like a child and expect her to make everything better.”

“That is so not true!” Dill exclaimed. ”I never said any such thing! What I said was that this is a marriage, and as such it should be a two way thing. You should support and comfort me when I need it. You should take care of me sometimes. There are times when I need you to be strong for me... to tell me that you’ll make it all better. I need a husband who’s an equal partner in this marriage, not another child who comes running to mummy whenever he can.”

McQueen hung his head.

“I see,” Hilary frowned. “At last, Dylan, you’ve woken up to the fact that yours has always been an unequal partnership. May I ask what made you realise?”

“Cameron was hurt, and Ty worried constantly that it was his fault. I found myself reassuring him at all hours of the day and night. Not once, not one single time did it occur to him just how scared I was for Cameron. Did he ask me if I was okay? No. Did he wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything would be all right? No.”

“I’ve discussed this with both of you. Obviously, Dylan, you weren’t ready to accept it. You’ve mothered him and taken control for far too long….”

“But what else was I supposed to do? I love him, and don’t want to see him feeling hurt and distressed. He needed to be taken care of,” Dill said curtly.

“You encouraged him to be dependant on you. You encouraged him to breastfeed from you. You firmly ensconced in his mind that you are his mother figure. What else could you expect? If he has a problem, he takes it to you. Time and time again you’ve shown him that you can deal with anything he throws at you. What you needed to be doing was talking it through with him, helping him find ways to cope with it himself,” Hilary told her.

“Easy for you to say - you weren’t there! I did, and still do, the best I can. I’m sorry if it’s not good enough for you.”

“On the contrary, Dylan, I think you’ve helped him tremendously. And now you realise it’s time for him to grow up. And his problem, I’d say, is that he doesn’t understand what you want from him,” Hilary replied calmly.

McQueen nodded. “Dill has always coped so well. This is only the third time I’ve seen her scared and crying like this. It frightened me, and I didn’t know what to do,” he admitted.

“What did you do on the other two occasions?” Hilary asked.

“The first time was when she went into labour early with the boys.” Ty looked over at Dill before carrying on. “When I got to sickbay she looked so scared... so fragile. I held her in my arms and told her everything would be okay.”

“And was it?”

“Eventually, yes. But I didn’t know if it would be when I said it,” he told her.

“Dylan? Did that matter at the time?”

“No, if course it didn’t. I needed to have him hold me. I knew he couldn’t fix it if something went wrong. I just needed him to be there for me, to be strong for me when I couldn’t be. I was scared and he comforted me.” She turned to McQueen. “See? You can do it, Ty. You do know how.”

“When else, T.C.?” Hilary prompted.

“When I was in hospital getting my new leg, Dill just broke down and cried. I held her in my arms and did the things she does to me. I stroked her hair... talked softly to her... told her it would all be okay.” Ty smiled. “I liked it. I wished I could it more often, but she’s so capable normally. So strong herself. That’s why I love her. Or one reason, anyway. She’s not the ‘poor little old me’ type.” He smiled apologetically at Dill. ”I’m sorry, Dill. I guess I’m so used to you coping with everything I throw at you, that it never occurred to me that you need to let it all out too. It seems like all our time together is spent with you telling me it’ll be okay. You making me feel better. I’m sorry, Dill. You’re right. I should be able to tell when you need a hug. I’ll try to do better, I promise.” He reached over and squeezed Dill’s hand.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, McQueen,” Dill said mournfully, lifting his hand to kiss the palm.

“T.C., why do you think you should be able to tell how Dylan is feeling?” Hilary asked, having carefully watched the interaction between the two.

“It’s as Dill says - we’ve been together for six years. She can read me like a book. I still have no idea when she’s had enough. I should be able to by now, surely?” he reasoned.

“Six years the pair of you have been together. But in that time how long have you actually spent together? Work it out for me,” Hilary addressed them both.

“Well, we met when Dill first came to the ‘Toga. You spent what four... five weeks?” he turned to Dill, his face thoughtful.

“Four it was,” Dill smiled. With his face all screwed up, Ty looked just like Hamish did when he was asked a difficult question. ”And then you came to visit me at home. That was two weeks.”

“Yes, and your mother was horrible to me,” he smiled.

“Oh, she was a cow, wasn’t she?” Dill grinned. “We spent that week at Glen’s beach house. That’s when I got pregnant with the boys.”

“And I asked you to marry me,” Ty smiled shyly at her. “I was so scared you’d say no.”

“There was never any chance of that, my lover,” Dill told him.

“That’s what, seven weeks so far?” Hilary prompted.

“Then I came to the ‘Toga carrying Izzy. I stayed for what, about a month? Izzy was about three weeks old when you took us home,” Dill offered.

“No, you forgot that I got leave in time for the boys' first birthday.” McQueen turned to Hilary. “We actually got to spend our first wedding anniversary together. Thirty days I had, because we went to see Rhonda and had a few days at their beach house again. That’s where you got pregnant with Izzy.”

“Oh, and I met Amy,” Dill chuckled. “God, what a day that was!”

“So, since then?” Hilary pushed.

“Umm,“ Dill pondered, ”Ty had a week after that, when he got his promotion.”

“And on the way back I lost my foot and got my new one. Three months I was home,” McQueen sighed.

“Gosh, Ty, that was a year ago!” Dill exclaimed.

“Yeah, but I’ve had leave since then, too - two months ago I got leave. Two whole weeks at home with you and the children.”

“So in total, in the six years you’ve known each other, you’ve only actually been together for roughly eight months,” Hilary told them, smiling at their shocked faces. “Had you never worked it out before?”

“No,” Dill whispered.

McQueen just sat dumbfounded.

“It’s hardly surprising, is it Dylan, that he doesn’t know you as well as you’d like him too. What is surprising is that you know him so well. And believe me, you do. Do you tell him how you feel, Dylan? At all? Do you say ‘I’ve had a crappy day. I really need a hug’, or tell him that you can’t cope?” Hilary asked her.

“No, I don’t,” Dill confessed. “Or if I do, it’s very rarely.”

“Why? Don’t you think he’s up to it?”

“I don’t know why. I guess I’ve always been the sort who just gets on with it,” Dill admitted.

“Even though you now have a husband to help you cope?” Hilary asked.

“But I don’t, do I? Most of the time he’s not there, and it’s not as if I can just pick up the phone and talk to him. I just have to get on with it myself. I don’t have any other option,” Dill told her.

“But you could tell me when I’m home,” Ty said softly.

“If I did that you’d think all I ever did was moan. No, our time together is far too precious to spend it telling you how awful I feel. From the moment you walk through the door with that happy smile on your face my stomach begins to churn because I know it won’t be long before I’m saying goodbye to you,” she said hesitantly.

“Oh Dill,” he cried, getting up and kneeling in front of her, “I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry.” Ty wrapped his arms around her.

“Of course you didn’t know, T.C. She never told you. But she’s telling you now. So what are you going to do about it?” Hilary asked him.

“I don’t know,“ he said defeatedly. “What can I do? I can’t not come home. I need to come home to you, but I hate leaving you too, Dill.”

“It’s okay,” Dill murmured, her arms slipping around him, hugging him tightly.

“See? You’re doing it again, Dylan. You’re reassuring him at your own expense. It’s not okay. Tell him the truth,” Hilary scolded her.

“The truth? He can’t handle the truth. He already feels miserable enough when he’s away from us. Why should I make him even more miserable?”

“Try me,” Ty said softly, sitting back in his seat, but still holding her hand.

“I don’t want you to leave us any more. I want you to stay at home with the children and me. I want to climb into bed beside you every night and feel you hold me. I want to be able to make love with you regularly. I want to wake up to the sound of you laughing with the children, to you singing in the shower, to the sound of you yelling at Humphrey to get off you, to the smell of you burning the breakfast. What do I get instead? An empty bed and children who wake up in the night crying for their daddy. Animals that have to be fed and watered, and letters that tell me lots about Glen and the 58th, a little about the war and next to nothing about how you’re feeling... whether you miss us or not. Hell Ty, you even sign them 'McQueen'. Not 'lots of love' or 'missing you', but plain old 'McQueen'. I want to grow old with you, not worry about whether I’m going to get a yellow envelope in the mail. I know how close I came to getting at least one of those before Izzy was born.” Dill saw his startled look. ”Oh, you don’t tell me, but Cooper tells Iona. And he was most upset that he wasn’t allowed to stay behind with you, or that the search team didn’t go back for you straightaway.”

“You never said a word,” Ty exclaimed. “How long have you known?”

“Since Cooper told Iona, so about eighteen months. Maybe more.” She smiled woefully at him. “See? You don’t tell me things like that because you don’t want to worry me, and I don’t tell you how sad I am for the same reason. Neither of us wants to spoil the short time we get to spend together. We want to make the most of it - make sure we both have happy memories to tide us over until your next leave.”

“And that is the root of your problems,” Hilary interrupted. “The two of you need to communicate more. You obviously love each other very much, but sometimes that’s just not enough. You need to let each other know how you’re feeling. T.C. does it, but he does it in a way that forces you to mother him. He needs to learn how not to do that, and you need to learn how to tell him how you feel without making him feel inadequate.”

Dill turned to McQueen. ”Do I make you feel inadequate?” she asked, horrified.

“Well…,” he started.

“Oh God, Ty, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I’ve always tried to be supportive and not put you down, and I obviously haven’t succeeded.” Tears welled up, and she rubbed at her eyes.

“No, Dill, you don’t. Sometimes you give me that look because I’ve done something stupid involving the kids, but you never make me feel inadequate.” McQueen glared at Hilary. “That’s unfair, Hilary. I’ve never said that ever, because it’s not true.” He turned back to Dill. “Don’t cry, Dill, please.”

He was out of his seat and picking her up to hug before she knew what he’d done. He sat back down with her on his lap and glared at Hilary. ”Now see what you’ve done!” he growled. He stroked Dill's back as she sobbed into his chest, clinging to him the way the children did.

“I think that the best thing for you would be proper couples’ therapy,” Hilary said. ”I know of a retreat that has an excellent reputation. It’s residential, and it’s a two week course helping you to communicate with each other. If ever I saw a couple who would benefit, it’s you two. I’ll look into it. But in the meantime I want you to start talking to each other. Pick a time when the children won’t interrupt you - when you go to bed perhaps - and really tell each other how you’re feeling. Do you think you can do that for me?”

McQueen just glared at Hilary. Moving her hair out of the way, he spoke softly into Dill's ear. ”Well, do you think you could bear it?”

Dill shook her head so violently that her whole body trembled, and Ty was forcefully reminded that she sat on his lap. She squirmed around to face the vid screen, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. McQueen groaned softly as she settled herself more comfortably in his lap.

”No, Hilary,“ she said. ”I’m not going to one of those places, and I’m not putting Ty through all the attention and comments he’d get. You know as well as we do that in such a close quartered environment, if someone took a dislike to ‘the dirty tank’, it would make the whole experience miserable. And I’m certainly not putting him through group therapy.”

“Don’t you think that it should be T.C. deciding whether he wants to try it or not?” Hilary asked her. “After all, there are two of you in your marriage, as you pointed out.”

Dill turned back to face Ty, her eyes widening at the expression on his face as she twisted in his lap. “Do you want to go Ty? If you do, we’ll go.”

“No,” he said, his voice cracking as Dill deliberately wriggled. Now she was aware of his arousal, she was going to exploit it to the full.

“There you go then, Hilary. Neither of us wants to go. I’m sorry,” Dill stated matter of factly.

“I couldn’t get leave anyway!” McQueen squawked as Dill ground herself onto his erection.

“We have to finish now,” Hilary told them. “But I’ll check that information out and we’ll discuss it at your next session, T.C. With you too, Dylan, if you’re here. Bye”

“Bye,” McQueen croaked.

“Bye, Hilary, and thank you,” Dill smiled. Turning back to McQueen, she grinned. “Got anything there I can help you with, flyboy?”

“Hell yes,” he gasped, grabbing her and standing up. He threw her over his shoulder, turned off the vid viewer, and practically ran from the room in the direction of his quarters, Dill giggling loudly as they flew through the hallways.

~~~~~~~~~~

The door to his quarters banged as he kicked it shut with his foot, before throwing Dill onto the bed and almost leaping on top of her. She laughed as he rained kisses on her face, her throat, and her neck, before tugging at the sweater she wore so that he could kiss her stomach. His hands held her sweater up as he nuzzled his face into her breasts, licking and nipping at her nipples through the lace of her bra. Dill's hands worked on his flight suit, pulling the zip as far down as she could. She slipped her hands inside and under his turtleneck, stroking and squeezing his back. She gasped as he pressed himself against her and she could feel the hardness of his erection pushing at her.

Still kneading her breasts, tweaking and rolling her nipples, Ty kissed his way down Dill's body, stopping to suck and lick at her navel, dipping his tongue inside until she squirmed and groaned, her hands gripping his shoulders.

Taking his hands from her breasts, he undid her jeans, pulling them down her thighs. Dill's panties followed as he buried his face in the soft curls between her legs. His hands once again reached for her breasts as he licked, nibbled and sucked at her, before thrusting his tongue deeply inside her as her hands clenched in his hair and she ground herself into his face. He moved up her body once again, one hand releasing her breast just long enough to fully unzip his suit and slip his boxers down as far as he could, and with a fast thrust he was inside her, slamming his body against hers in a fast and furious pace as he released all his pent up anxiety and fears.

Ty buried his face in Dill's breasts, sucking hard, his hands curled under her shoulders, holding her firmly in place. Dill writhed underneath him, her hands gripping his back, clutching at the fabric of his suit, balling it in her fists as she cried out. He clamped his mouth on hers, forcing his tongue between her lips, tasting every inch of her hot, wet mouth, sucking on her tongue, holding her still as he pounded relentlessly into her until at last, and with a final hard thrust, he came, crying out and dropping his head onto her shoulder as Dill’s orgasm overtook her and she cried out into his neck.

His chest heaving, Ty rolled off her and tucked himself back into his boxers, standing up to zip his flight suit.

Dill lay watching him. “Well, that was different,” she said, adjusting her clothing and zipping her jeans closed.

He sat down on the bed and looked at her. “I wanted you, badly. I couldn’t wait,” he said simply.

“I noticed,” she smiled.

“You’re always saying that I need to be a bit more dominating,” he smiled back. “Well, I decided I would be.”

“And very nice it was too,” Dill grinned, sitting up. “I liked it.” She kissed his cheek and stroked a hand over his hair. “I think that I just got fucked by Colonel McQueen. He’s welcome in my bed anytime.”

Ty looked at her, unsure how to take that. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “I’m not good enough normally, is that it?”

“You’re fabulous,” Dill assured him. “Honestly. But that was nice too. Unexpected, but great. I mean, come on, Ty, the suit didn’t even come off your shoulders and you kept your boots on!” she chuckled.

“Dill,” he said seriously, “I think we should do what Hilary suggested.” Ty saw her face darken. “Don’t be angry with me please, but I think that I need it even if you don’t. Sometimes, Dill, you’re angry with me and I don’t know why. You look at me like I’m a complete idiot for a second, and then you sort of sigh and tell me what I did wrong. Please, Dill, if she can organise it for my next leave, I think we should.”

“You’ve put in for leave at Christmas, Ty! Christmas is to spend with the children, not at some bloody group therapy place telling everyone our secrets.”

“What secrets do we have, Dill?” he asked. ”I don’t know what they are. Maybe I can wangle some extra time. I’ll talk to Glen, see if he can help.”

“I don’t want to, Ty. I don’t want to have to tell total strangers about our marriage. I thought we had a good marriage,” she said softly.

He shuffled up the bed to hold her. “We do, but it could be so much better. She’s right, Dill; we do need to learn to talk to each other.”

“We do talk. Sometimes I feel like that’s all we do!” Dill sighed.

“We talk about things after they’ve happened. But think, Dill - usually it’s you talking to me, persuading me that everything will be okay. I want to know how you’re feeling. I love you, Dill, so you need to learn not to be afraid to tell me. How can I know when to hug you and keep you safe if you never show me you need me? I need you to need me, but you always appear so competent and able to do it by yourself that it feels like you don’t need me at all.”

“I do need you Ty!” she cried. “More than you can ever imagine! I’m sorry if it looks like I don’t. I don’t mean it to.”

“When I come home on leave I always feel like I’ve upset your routines... like I’m intruding. After the first day or two that passes, but why do I feel like that, Dill? Does everyone feel that? Or is it just me?”

“I guess most military dads do. You’re not alone. I’m sorry. I try my hardest to make sure you feel at home,” she told him. “Do I really look at you like you’re an idiot?”

“Sometimes,” Ty said. “Remember when I asked you what your period was for?” Dill nodded. “You looked at me like I was totally stupid, and it wasn’t until I asked why do you have it that you realised I was serious. How am I supposed to know about that stuff if I don’t ask? I could never have asked Amy, but I thought you wouldn’t mind. I mean, when I was home because of my leg there were times when you wouldn’t let me shower with you, or even be in the bathroom at the same time as you. I didn’t know why, and that’s why I asked. I felt like a complete fool the way you looked at me. It was only afterwards when you explained that it’s not something that often gets discussed, or at least the things I asked, that I realised you were right. Amy never once talked about it, other than to tell me that no I couldn’t get into bed with her because she had her period. I didn’t actually know what it was then. I only really found out when you explained it all to me.”

“Oh, Ty,” Dill whispered, kissing him softly on the cheek, “you really are such an innocent sometimes.”

“There’s lots I don’t understand, Dill, but I get scared to ask in case you look at me like that.”

“But you’re twenty-six, Ty. I found it hard to believe you didn’t know about that, especially having been married.”

“But I’ve only been down the mines and in the military. Women’s things aren’t dealt with in pilot training or strategy classes. I asked Amy once why did she bother with her bra because she was always saying how uncomfortable it was. She stared at me and asked if I thought she was some cheap hooker. It seemed a fair enough question to me.”

Dill looked at him, studying his face. “You really want to do this thing of Hilary’s?”

Ty nodded. “Yes I do.”

“Okay then. When you speak to her next you tell her we’ll do it. But not at Christmas, Ty. That’s for me and the children to enjoy having you home.”

He hugged her tight, kissing her. “Thanks, Dill. I know you’re only saying yes for me, and I appreciate it. Truly.”

“You can show me how much tonight,” she grinned. “Come on - we need to relieve poor Cooper of our children.”

Ty stood up and pulled her to her feet. “How’re you feeling today, Dylan?”

“I feel fine and dandy, thank you, Tyrus,” she chuckled, as he pulled her out the door and off to collect their children.

~~~~~~~~~

Three days later McQueen stood outside the commodore’s door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked twice, smiling at the gruff, “Who’s at my hatch?”

“Colonel McQueen, sir,” he called. At this hour who else would it be, he thought.

“Well, don’t hang around out there, McQueen. Come in and explain to me what these papers sitting on my desk are all about.”

“What papers would those be?” McQueen asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Ty, This request for leave to take your family home.”

“Ah, that,” McQueen frowned. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

Ross looked at him. “I can’t let you go, Ty. I need you here. Our repairs are almost finished and the allied forces are, as you well know, gearing up for a major offensive. I have papers on my desk that the Chiefs of Staff have requested that you look over. Am I supposed to tell them, ‘Sorry, but Colonel McQueen had to pop home for a moment’?”

“I won’t let them go alone, Glen. ‘Arrangements’ are being made to get them home; there is no way in hell that they’re going along with those arrangements. Who knows if I’d ever see them again? No doubt it would be a ‘terrible tragedy’, or an ’unexpected chig attack’. Or worse - AI’s. I have to take them Glen. I have to know that they’re safe.” Ty flung himself into his favourite seat and glared at Ross. ”You know that it wasn’t coincidence, Glen. Only the area around their quarters was damaged. I could have lost all three children. I could have lost my family Glen. Do you seriously think I’ll risk whoever it is trying again?”

“You’re not going, Ty, it’s as simple as that. They’re expecting to see a report from you on their plans, outlining any glaring errors or omissions, and making suggestions for improvements. They’re relying on you, McQueen. They’ll expect you to realise which is most important to you.”

“Which is most important to me? Do you even need to ask?” McQueen growled.

“Once I would have staked my life on you doing your duty as a marine officer,” Ross said quirking an eyebrow. “Now you have other priorities. Priorities the high ups won’t like.”

“Once I didn’t have a family,” McQueen retorted. “This is not about me doing my duty to the corps, Glen. It’s about me doing my duty to my family.”

“I can’t grant you the leave, Ty. If this offensive works, the two weeks you requested for Christmas are yours. If you can improve on their plans, I’ll push to get you thirty days, but you can’t have any now.”

“Lend me your launch. Two days, Glen, that’s all I need. I’ll take them home and come straight back.”

Ross stared steely eyed at him over the top of his guitar. “Hawkes,” he said. “Let Hawkes take them home. You filled the 5-8 in on the situation, didn’t you?”

“I did,” McQueen agreed.

“You trust him with your family?”

“I do,” McQueen frowned at him.

“He has black ops training.”

“He does.”

“Then he can take them home. He can take my launch,” Ross told him.

“Hawkes shouldn’t be expected to have to face the responsibility of anything happening to them. I’ll go.”

“Ty, nothing will happen to them! And what makes you so certain that you could prevent it if it did?” Ross thundered at him.

“At least I would be there!” McQueen threw back.

“Put it out of your head, McQueen. You go tell Hawkes he’s taking them home. You help them pack up and you say goodbye in the landing bay,” Ross glared at him. “And because I know you so well, I will have security standing by to make sure you remain on this ship!”

“This is not fair, Glen! Who knows how much danger my family is in!” McQueen stood up, his face for once showing his anger.

Ross stood up and stepped forward, nose to nose with him. “Who the hell said life was fair?”

They stood staring at each other for a moment or two before Ross turned. “Do you want a drink? You can drink it while you take a look at the plans.” He turned back and glared at McQueen. “Because you will be looking at them, Colonel. I expect a report on my desk by 12:00 tomorrow.”

McQueen glared back. ”Whiskey,” he growled.

“Good, because that’s what I poured you. Now sit down, drink this, and look at these.” Ross handed McQueen a glass and a manila folder.

~~~~~~~~~~

Four hours later McQueen stumbled through the door to Dill's quarters, slightly the worse for wear after having downed the best part of a bottle of whiskey whilst batting around ideas with Ross, arguing points of strategy and dismissing others as pointless, as well as adding a few suggestions of his own.

He crept into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots. As he tugged at them he fell backwards, and shushed himself. “Quiet, McQueen - you’ll wake Dill.”

Sitting up again, Ty peered at her sleeping form. “Wonder if she’s naked under there?” He nodded his head vigorously. ”Yep, she’ll be naked. Naked as a jay bird!”

He began to giggle as he slowly, and with much more difficulty than normal, removed his clothes. Still giggling to himself, he slipped into bed with Dill, his hands reaching to feel her to see if she was indeed naked.

“No clotheses,“ he chuckled. ”All naked, all mine.”

Very slowly Ty began to run his hand over Dill's body, gently stroking her breasts and her stomach, reaching lower to twine his fingers in the curls of her pubic hair, before stroking her thighs. He’d reached the point where he lay between her legs, his face buried in her stomach, making passionate love to her navel, when she woke up.

“Ty?” Dill gasped, as his tongue dipped in and out.

“Was last time I looked,” he snickered.

“Just what is it exactly you’re doing down there?” she giggled.

“You has a beautiful navel,” Ty told her seriously. ”Have you looked at it? Iss all soft and dimpled like a ras’berry. Wish I had some now... pops one in, suck it out, pops one in, suck it out”

“Have you been drinking?” Dill gasped, as she felt Ty's fingers sliding up her thighs and his head slip lower.

“One or two with Glen,” he sighed, his breath hot on her thighs. “A man needs a drink when he’s planning to bomb the chigs' butts off.”

Ty rubbed his face against her heated core. ”Mmm, Dill, tha’s so good, so soft… I really love you, Dill.”

Dill giggled. “Drunken declarations of love... what more could a girl ask for!”

“I’m not drunk,” he mumbled indignantly, his lips tickling her as he spoke. “Bloody Glen… says Hawkes has to do it… I tole’ him no, I mus do it, but oh no… Chiefs of Staff… bloody bastards… Hawkes…,” he trailed off.

“Ty?” Dill looked down at him. He lay with his face buried in her pubic hair, a soft smile on his lips.

“Ty?” She shook him gently. “Ty?” Then harder.

Dill lay back and chuckled before pushing him off her, dragging his comatose body up the bed, and snuggling up next to him.

~~~~~~~~~~

He woke, head pounding, to the sound of the children crying.

“I don’ wanna go home!” wailed Hamish. ”Wanna stay wiv daddy!”

“Wiv daddy!” Izzy echoed.

“We have to go home!” he heard Dill telling them. “We can’t stay with daddy here. I’m sorry, but that’s it. Daddy is not allowed to have us with him on the ‘Toga. We have to go home and wait patiently until he comes to see us.”

“But I loves him,” Cameron sobbed.

“I know you do darling, and he loves you too. But we have to wait for him to come home again to give him our loves, don’t we? You can make discs for him and do drawings and paintings, and he’ll send you presents. Daddy knows you love him, just as we know daddy loves us. But we’re not going today. We need to start packing your toys and things though, because we have to leave tomorrow.”

There was silence broken only by the sound of the children sobbing, and then Dill spoke again. ”Why don’t you go and see if he’s awake yet? But if he’s still asleep don’t wake him. He worked very hard last night with Glen.”

“Can we cuddle him?” Hamish asked.

“Yes, but be very gentle. I think he might have an ouchie head today.”

The door to the bedroom was pushed slowly open and three heads peered around it.

“Sleep?” Izzy asked.

“Shhh!” Cameron whispered.

“Are you wake daddy?” Hamish called softly.

“I am,” he told them. “Ask that mommy if she has anything for my ouchie head.”

“Daddy’s got an ouchie head, mummy!” Hamish yelled, as McQueen winced.

Izzy and Cameron had already dived onto the bed and into his arms when Hamish joined them for a group hug.

“I love you guys,” Ty told them. “I’m sorry you have to go home, but you can’t stay here. We’re going back to the fighting. It wouldn’t be safe for you.” He lay there as they covered his face with wet sloppy kisses. “Besides, Humphrey and Gussie need you. Who’s gonna take care of them? Who’s looking after them while you’re here?”

“Malcolm is,” said Dill from the doorway, a glass of water in one hand and pills in the other. “You heard us, did you?”

“I did,” Ty sighed. “I wish I could take you home, Dill, but Glen won’t let me. He needs me here.”

She came to sit on the bed. ”You were muttering something about the Chiefs of Staff before you passed out last night.” Dill handed him the pills and the glass. “Here, take these. They’ll help.”

“Yeah, classified so I can’t tell you, but Glen's agreed to loan his launch and Hawkes will take you home.” He smiled sadly, before taking the pills and handing her the glass back. “I’m gonna miss you guys.” He hugged the children, who were still clinging to him, but he looked at Dill.

“Ty, we can go home the way we came. Travel arrangements have been made, but we need to leave from Mir,” Dill told him, putting the empty glass on the side.

“No, Dill, Hawkes will take you. Today, I’m afraid. We can’t spare him longer than a couple of days, so we need to get you packed up and on the move as soon as possible. I’m sorry.”

“Going home today, daddy?” Cameron’s lip began to tremble again.

“I’m sorry, little guys. But I’ll be coming home to see you at Christmas.” Ty looked at Dill. ”And if all goes well, maybe for 30 days.”

“Something to look forward to,” she smiled. “Okay, guys, if we have to go home today we better all get dressed and packed before we go get some breakfast. Come on, let's get to it. I’m sure Gamma will be pleased to see us.” She stood and began hustling the children out of the room.

“Dill,” Ty called after her, climbing out of bed himself and pulling on his boxers.

She turned. “Yes?”

“We need to talk.”

“If it’s about that retreat, I won’t go at Christmas, Ty.” She turned to the children. “Okay, boys, your clothes are laid out on your beds. Help Izzy with hers, please, and I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay mummy,” Hamish said, taking Izzy’s hand and leading her away.

“So tell me,” Dill said, as Ty took her in his arms.

“I’ve talked it over with Glen,” he told her. “He agrees with me. I had no post from you, Dill, telling me about this job. Your mother’s message didn’t get through despite the strings she pulled. They asked for you by name and acceded to all your requests without a murmur. The attack on Mir, Dill... the only places that took direct hits were near your quarters. Glen doesn’t like it, and neither do I.”

She sat down heavily on the bed. “You think someone’s out to get us? Why?”

“Cameron maybe? Maybe they found out that we know what they did. Glen's put feelers out to see what he can find. We’ll see.” McQueen sat next to her, holding her close as she began to tremble.

“You think that if we went with the planned trip home, something would happen to us?”

“Maybe. That’s why Hawkes is taking you direct. I trust him to keep you safe. Glen sent Moira a secure message explaining what we think, asking her to crack down on security and keep you safe.”

“The children, Ty. How do I keep them safe?” Dill asked in a low voice.

“Dill, you live in a community where everyone knows everyone else. Moira’s going to call a meeting and ask everyone to be aware and keep their eyes open for strangers. She said the gates will be closed to everyone not actually living there, and security around the perimeters has been stepped up. Apparently Malcolm can install motion and heat sensitive sensors along the boundaries, and Hawkes will give him advice on other ways to ensure your safety. No one will get in unannounced, Dill.”

“What if they do? What if someone hurts Cameron or Hamish, or Izzy even? What then, Ty?”

“Then not even Glen will keep me here, Dill. I’ll go AWOL if I have to, and the 5-8 will probably join me. But don’t tell Glen I said that.” Ty kissed her forehead. “Let’s get you packed, and go get that breakfast you promised the children. Then Hawkes and I’ll check over the launch, and we’ll get you on your way.“

“Shame you fell asleep last night,” she sighed.

Ty grinned. “You know, maybe I can snatch twenty mikes or so this morning to say goodbye properly.”

“Tyrus McQueen! You are such a bad boy!” Dill chuckled. “Try, please.”

“I’ll do my best,” he winked. “Come on, let's see how the kids are doing.”

They went hand in hand to check on the giggles they could hear coming from the children’s room.

~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later Hawkes had the launch packed with Dill and the children’s belongings. Damphousse had brought the children along, Dill having asked her to look after them for her until she got to the landing bay. Hawkes fussed about, making sure the children were happy and strapped into their seats safely.

“So, Nessa, where’s Dylan? And the Colonel?” he asked. Staring at the security officer standing by the doorway, he added, "And why’s he here?”

“The Commodore thinks it’s necessary,” McQueen growled, coming through the doorway and glaring at the security man.

Damphousse eyed McQueen critically. Normally he was dressed immaculately, but his flight suit was slightly skewed, as if he’d got dressed in a hurry. She looked more closely at Dill, who followed on his heels, restraining a smile as she saw that the buttons on Dill's shirt were done up wrong. Obviously they’d squeezed in a last minute goodbye.

“Okay,” McQueen asked, frowning. ”Where’re my children?”

“Here, daddy!” Hamish yelled.

“Daddy!” Izzy called.

Cameron sat, Cashus clutched to him, thumb in his mouth, tears streaming down his face.

McQueen knelt in front of him and hugged him. “Don’t cry, Cameron, please. If you do you’ll make me cry, and once I start, I can’t stop, and then I’ll flood the ship, and we’ll be walking around with soggy feet.”

Cameron smiled. “Silly daddy,” he whispered.

“That’s my boy. I need you to be brave so mommy doesn’t cry.” Ty looked at Hamish. “I need you to be brave too, and I want you both to try and be good boys for mommy. You do as she tells you, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Hamish told him.

Cameron nodded.

McQueen hugged Hamish and Izzy, and with a final hug and a kiss for Dill, stepped out of the launch so that Hawkes could close the door. With a heartfelt sigh he allowed himself to be pulled out of the landing bay so that they could leave.

“Sir, they’ll be okay, and it won’t be long until the next mail call,” Damphousse reassured him.

“Assuming my mail gets through,” McQueen grouched. With a deep breath, he pulled himself upright and strode off, knowing he still had work to do on the report for Glen.

He didn’t, however, head straight to his office. He rushed instead to the tiny observation room Dill loved so much. With a sad smile, he stood staring out the window, watching as the launch flew past, carrying his family home. He wanted to be the one piloting that launch. Damn them, he thought. Damn Aerotech. Damn the chigs. Damn Glen for not letting him go, and damn the Chiefs of Staff for mounting this massive offensive now. He stood watching until he could no longer make out the launch from any of the other traffic that flew around the ship.

“I’m coming home for Christmas, guys,” he whispered, pressing his face to the glass. The coldness of it helping to force back the tears that threatened. “I swear I am. No one is going to stop me. Not Glen, and not the damn chigs!”

McQueen was distracted by the sight of the transport bearing the Chiefs of Staff arriving. With a heavy heart he headed back down to his office. That report needed finishing before they called him in to discuss their plans.

Fin.