Confessions

Grissom was awoken the next morning by sobbing. He looked over and Sara was curled in the fetal position on the opposite sides of the bed crying. Congratulations Gil, you hurt her, are you proud of yourself? You should have known better. He crawled out of the bed and got dressed. He was at war with himself as to what to do. He wanted to hold her in his arms and coddle her but he was scared it would hurt her worse. He made up his mind to leave. It was his house, but he figured she needed to be alone and she couldn’t do that with him here.

He scrawled a note on paper and left the house.

Sara,

I’m sorry I took advantage of you. I’m so sorry. I can’t stand to see you always crying. I left so you wouldn’t have to look at me. I’m sure you probably never want to see me again and I wouldn’t blame you if that were the case. I won’t come back until I know you are gone. Take your time, there is no hurry.

Grissom

Sara woke up shivering in a cold silent house. Where is Grissom? She stretched and discovered a small piece of paper on his side of the bed. What is this? She picked it up and read it. Her hands covered her face almost immediately in shock. What happened? Did I miss something? I wasn’t crying, what is he talking about? At that moment it hit her. I must have been having a nightmare. He ran because of a nightmare? This is never going to work. Sara picked up the phone and called Grissom’s cell.

“Grissom.” He answered.

“Its me.”

Click!

Sara was upset. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk to her. She got dressed, and left him a note on the pillow. Leaving the key under the mat, she left.

Grissom,

I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t think this is going to work. Just to let you know, I’m leaving Vegas. Don’t bother coming after me. It is too hard to work here. Your key is above the door.

Sara

Sara choked back the tears as she locked the door and ran to her car. I need to go home and pack. I can’t stay here anymore. As soon as she was inside her door, she collapsed on the sofa in a fit of tears. She shook them off long enough to call in to work. She left a message with the front desk that she was ill and wouldn’t be in to work that night. That will give me time to pack, resign from my position and leave Vegas for good.

Sara packed her belongings in a few boxes. She decided to only take the things that were important. She would send for the rest after she got settled. She had set her mind to leave. Nothing was going to change her mind. She would go back to San Francisco; her old boss there always left her position open. She hoped it was still available.

Sara sat in front of her computer and wrote up her resignation. She decided she would drop it off on her way out of town during the day when no one was around to ask her questions. At least Ecklie would be happy. He wanted her fired anyway.

She printed out the letter and placed it in an envelope. She scrawled Conrad Ecklie on the envelope and sat it on the table for tomorrow. Sara crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep.


Grissom walked into his house. It was silent. He knew she was gone. Why wouldn’t she be? He screwed up, he deserved this and in the pit of his stomach he knew it was too late. He sat down on the couch and flipped on the radio. “Here is another Avril Lavigne song,.” blared out of the radio.

Ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah
I'm giving up on everything Because you messed me up
Don't know how much you Screwed it up
You never listened That's just too bad
Because I'm moving on
I won't forget You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong Don't patronize me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Chorus]

Have you forgotten Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now
You never got It Do you get it now
Yea yea yea yea yea
Ah ah ah ahAh ah ah ah
Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about yesterday
It's too late now It won't ever be the same
We're so different now
Yea yea yea yea yea

[Chorus]

Grissom couldn’t stop the tears. Avril Lavigne, isn’t that the one who Sara was listening to? Sara? My sweet Sara. She is gone now. I screwed up. I get it now. I lost you.

He walked to the bedroom and lay on the bed. It was still mussed up from their lovemaking. He could still smell her on the sheets. He reached for the pillow she slept on. He found the note. I have lost her. She is leaving.

Grissom changed and headed back into work. He was hoping that Sara would be there so he could apologize. He had a lot of time to think about it and decided that was what he needed to do. He walked into the doors and was greeted with his messages.

“CSI Sidle won’t be in tonight, seems she is sick.” The receptionist barked.

“Any other messages?”

“No.”

Grissom headed to his office. He needed to be alone. He was torn. He wanted so much to call her, to hold her in his arms and assure her they would be ok. She said that it wasn’t going to work and she was leaving. He would have to get over it. It was the only thing he could do. He retreated to his office to dive into some paperwork. He didn’t want to deal with people.

He assigned his crew to new cases and continued on with his paperwork. He mindlessly went home after shift. He couldn’t stand smelling her any longer; he stripped the bed and threw the sheets in the laundry. He retreated to the couch he poured himself a shot of scotch. He needed a nightcap in order to sleep at all.

Grissom automatically went to work the next night. He was greeted by Conrad Ecklie.

“It seems Sidle resigned after all.” Conrad snickered. “I got her resignation on my desk effective today. I told you she was a loose cannon Gil.”

He didn’t feel like fighting. “Just go away Conrad, you win.”