A new start

I'm sorry that it took me a bit longer to post the next chapter. But I had too much to do in my new job. At least I didn't kill Carter. So you can forgive me, can‚t you? =)
++Lucky++
----------------


John starred down at the dangerous looking river. The current was so violent that he surely wouldn't have the tinge of a chance to reach the surface, once the water had swallowed him.

This though let a cold shower running through his body. If he hadn‘t such streng believes he would jump now...

''Stop!'' The sudden scream scared him so much that he began to shake and almost lost his balance. But before he could fall, two strong arms clasped his waist and held him fast. They carefully dragged him back till he couldn‚t see the water anymore.

''What do you wanted to do?'' An angry voice said behind him, and John turned laboriously around in the iron grip to look into the worried face of a young red-haired man.

''What do you think, enjoying the view?'' Came the snippy response. John knew that he was mean. After all the guy had only tried to save him. But Carter was strangely angry that somebody thought he could do something so stupid. He was a Doctor and had to save lifes, not to finish a life, even if it was his own.

''Huh yeah, I know what you wanted to do! But do you really think I would stay here and watch how you killed yourself? One day you will thank me that I didn't let you chose the easiest way to run away from your problems!'' The stranger sounded hurt and turned around to leave John.

''Don't tell me that there will be better days again and the problems won't be there anymore. I hate sayings like these. Because they aren't true! I will always be the loser and I will never be happy again. Not after THAT. You have no clue what I was going through!'' John yelled after him, somewhat angry that the other man was going away and not even tried to make him believe how beautiful life could be - also for him! He could need that now. Some straw he could catch even if he didn't believe in his happy future anymore.

But this man giving up on him so easily only proved once more that nobody really cared about him. Perhaps he should really jump? He hadn‘t really wanted to do it before, but now he was almost tempted...

''Okay, I thought I could do it, but I can't!'' The unknown red-haired suddenly stopped in his track and came back to John.

''You will try it again, won't you?'' He said more to himself, but John nodded nevertheless.

''I won't ask why you wanted to do something so horrible. But I can't go home and pretend that nothing happened either. I want to be sure that you forget about the plan to kill yourself! Otherwise I couldn't sleep in peace tonight. It might be sound cheesy , but after saving your life I feel responsible for you.''

Suddenly John felt very embarrassed. Even if he didn‘t want to kill himself he suddenly felt like a little child that had realized it couldn't manage life alone. And perhaps he really needed somebody that held his hand and went along with him a little bit till he found the right way again. But how could a totally stranger help him here?

''I'm Samuel Battaglia Third.'' The redhead introduced himself as if he could read John's thoughts and wanted to make sure that he wasn't completely strange anymore.

''Third?'' John looked a bit puzzled, but ignored the hand that was streched out. ''Are you noble or something?''

The stranger let his hand falling down, sighing dramatically. John wasn't sure if it was because of his question or the fact that he didn't want to shake his hand.

''No. But my Italian family is somewhat crazy. My grandfather Samuel First introduced the custom to pass on his name to every manly offspring and supply it with a number for a better distinction and to see if we will have a Samuel Hundredth one day. He was so proud of having this name without an E. You know, the correct Italian version would be Samuele. But grandpa meant the E would spoil the sound of this beautiful name.''

In any other situation John had laughed now. The story was funny, but he couldn't managed to smile. So he only grumbled a polite ''Interesting''.

The other man seemed to understand him though. He continued to talk about humorous stories of his family, not expecting any witty response from John. And the young doctor was very grateful for that. So he became a bit distracted and didn't have to think too much.

+++

''Luka, I promise you, if something happened to John, I will personally kill you!'' Abby yelled at the Croatian Doctor while they were driving through the streets, searching for their missing colleague.

''How could I know that he would overreact that much?'' The dark haired man defended himself.

''You are not even conscious of any fault, are you? My god how would you feel if somebody you loved said you were stupid and not worth being loved?''

''I never said he wouldn't be worth loved...'' Luka began to protest, but Abby interrupted him.

''But you made him feel that way! John is so sensitive. How comes that you didn't think of that before you open your big mouth? Do you really care that less about him? Do you have a clue how much you hurt him? Do you have a clue?!!''

Luka didn't know what to answer to that. So he starred silently out of the side-window. He didn't want that. He never wanted to treat John like a worthless thing. God, he liked John. He was sure he could even fall in love with him - IF John was a girl! Then everything would be so much easier. But how should he introduce John as his boyfriend to his mother? She would never understand this and would be ashamed, not only of him, but of herself as well. No, he couldn't do that to his mom!

'But you can do that to John!' His inner voice screamed. 'What if he will never be found again, how will you live with this guilt?'

''I don't know where to search for John still.'' Abby was on the verge of tears. ''I don't think that he will go along somewhere near the main street. But wait. Do you still have this credit note that stuck between the roses?'' She asked.

''Yes, why?''

''We should ring them up. Maybe he called there to cancel orders for his table? And perhaps he also mentioned where he wanted to go next on this occasion? Okay I confess this doesn't seem very probable, but we should use any chance we have, even if it is a very little one.''

+++

John didn't know what induced him to invite Samuel to the restaurant at the beach. Did he really only want to discharge the credit note and eat the meals he had already paid for? Or did he just need somebody to talk with? Perhaps he had blurted out this invitation because he knew that he couldn't get rid of Samuel and had no idea what to do with him? Whatever the reason was, he was sure now that it was a pretty stupid one.

The candles on their table conjured up a beautiful calming light of red and yellow in the air. The music was soft and romantic. The window next to their table looked out on the gentle waves of the sea. The personnel was discreet and unobstrusive, but still fulfilled all of their wishes immediately. Everything was perfect, and it hurt John. It almost hurt him just as much as Luka's cruel rebuff.

John had planned to sit here with the man he loved and not with a stranger. Even if Samuel was very sweet, he couldn't bear to see his face smiling at him. Not now at this place!

''You are so still. I don't want to push you, but don't you want to tell me what's wrong? It could ease your pain.'' Samuel spoke softly and took John's finger between his hands.

''I, I can't..'' The doctor stuttered, looking at his untouched meal.

''Oh, you don't have to. I think I know what's wrong. You originally wanted to spend this wonderful evening with your girlfriend here, isn't it so? What happened? Did she broke up with you?''

John wanted to say that Samuel was too nosy and that it wasn't his business, but all the young man could do was nod his head yes.

''John, whatever happened, I'm sure that she wasn't worth to commit suicide. You are a very sweet, sincere, handsome guy. A special guy that nobody should let go. If she couldn't appreciate what she had, then she didn't deserve you. And John, did you ever think of your family and friends? You would make their life to hell if you killed yourself!''

John felt ashamed that the other man was so worried about him. Maybe he should tell Samuel that he didn‘t want to finish his life. Nobody was worth it, not even Luka.

But somehow John was too tired for any long explanations. So he only nodded.''You are right. I'll try to be stronger now and face up to my problems.''

Samuel smiled and gently stroked John's hand.

''And I will help you with that.''

John was not sure how to react. That's why he took his fork and began to pick at his food. He shoved a carrot into his mouth, but swallowed the wrong way when he looked up into the hall.

What the heck did Luka here?