Infinity
Chapter 5B
TITLE: Infinity (5B/?)
AUTHOR: MasF&amF&M FANDOM: Law and Order: SVU RATING: Everything from PG to R—just like life. SUMMARY: A Fin fic— to give him a life that the show refuses to give him DISCLAIMER: L&O: SVU and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf, NBC, and whomever else puts the show out for our enjoyment. I just get toplay with them. AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sam is a character of my own creation. She does not exist on the show. FEEDBACK: Please give some. If no one likes what or how I’m writing, then I should stop posting. But if you do like . . . then let me know so I will keep going.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ....... She knew her reversion would outrage her parents, but she
also knew that as she was their
only child, they ultimately wouldn’t be able to see her suffer and would offer her their assistance.
The only point she had held out on was the one involving Fin and she getting married. She agreed
that they would live together, but was adamant that there would not be any nuptials. She told him
it was because she didn’t want anyone to think that she felt they had to get married, but secretly
she knew otherwise: that although she had faith in his abilities, she did not want to become a
Tutuola until after it meant something. She had not been willing to trade her father’s lucrative
Carver name for one of obscurity and far lesser value.
CHAPTER 5B
To both their reliefs, Charlene’s pregnancy was a relatively easy one. Fin had worried that
if her first weeks proved difficult, she would change her mind again about having the baby. His
fears were alleviated, however, after the first trimester, and he and Charlene adapted to the idea of
raising a child together.
True to his word, Fin made every compromise necessary to make their lives run as
smoothly as possible. He attended school only part time starting the second semester of their
sophomore year (making up the missed courses over the summer) and took a second shift at his
job as a security guare spe spent very little money on himself, but instead paid all the household
expenses and bought the things he thought Charlene and their baby would need and want.
He knew Charlene
was still receiving an allowance from the trust fund set up by her
parents, but pretended he didn’t, preferring to show her that he could take care of his family
without their parents’ help. Anything Charlene received from the Carvers was either kept to
herself, or used to provide the expensive clothes and jewelry she preferred. He never questioned
her about how she managed to purchase those things they both knew he could not afford, and she
never volunteered the information.
She
continued with her studies and was able to finish her second year before giving birth
to their son.
Dorian Tutuola was
born on a warm, sunny day in June. Fin would later tell his son that he
clearly remembered every sight and sound of that bright day, and personally believed that Mother
Nature had been putting on a show just to welcome him into the world. He had been present in the
delivery room and had been the first person to hold the baby.
Cradling his son in his arms, Fin had
looked down on him and marveled at the tiny life he
had helped to create. Even from the beginning it was evident that the son would look remarkable a
lot like the father. Fin looked down into the eyes which mirrored his own and had gently touched a
finger to his child’an>
Fin’s finger in his tiny hand, it became the happiest moment of Fin’s life.
After bringing their
baby home, Charlene was the picture of a doting mother. She had
fussed and cooed over him, spending countless hours arranging everything from the outfits he
would wear over the course of the week, to where and to whom he should be exposed. Having
refused to breast-feed, she had also spent considerable time researching baby formulas, and
recording when and how much Dorian fed. He was a beautiful baby and Charlene reveled in the
attention he brought to her from family, friends, and strangers alike.
Fin was thrilled with
how much she was enjoying her new role as mother, and had secretly
sent her parents a snapshot of her and the baby. Unable to resist the sight of their grandchild, the
Carvers overcame their grudge and once again welcomed their daughter into their home.
㺼&60; For the rest of that
summer Dorian always accompanied his mother to her parents affluent
home. Once the novelty of having a baby wore off, however, Dorian was more and more often left
behind.
When she stated
her third year at Columbia, Charlene began to lose even more interest in
her son. She was always off studying somewhere or meeting with a social group, and had often
called Fin at home to inform him that she would be getting back late. She spent considerably less
and less time with her son until it fell to Fin to completely care for him.
It was his father,
therefore, who stayed up nights walking the floors with Dorian and rocking
him when he was colicky. It was also usually Fin who gave the baby a bath and put him to bed, as
well as the one who got up for Dorian’s two a.m. feeding, then again at 6:30 a.m. to feed and change
the baby before taking him over to Fin’s grandmother’s for the day.
Charlene had insisted that they not put
their academic careers on hold, so they were both still
attending school though Fin lagged a semester behind Charlene as he was only attending part-time.
Since Fin could not afford the daycare centers near the school, and because he would not trust a
sitter, Nanna had volunteered to look after her great grandson. Fin brought Dorian to her every
morning, then stopped by to play with his son after his last class and before he headed off to work.
Being at Nanna’s also gave Dorian the
opportunity to know the rest of his family. Though
their relationship with Fin was strained (he rarely visited and only spoke to his parents once a week
by phone), the Tutuolas had grown to love Dorian. When they learned that Nanna was caring for
him, they had gone to see him and were immediately taken with him. He was such a handsome and
happy baby that it wasn’t long before it was one or the other of Fin’s sisters or his mother who
managed to show up at Nanna’s door not long after Fin dropped Dorian off. Even Vernon, who had
begrudged the boy’s existence and its disruption of his son’s life, had warmed to Dorian when the
baby smiled at him.
Sometimes Charlene would pick up her son
after her classes were over, but more often than
not, Dorian was waiting for Fin when he got off work. Fin would take him home and they would
have dinner together, then play and read before Fin put him to bed.
When Charlene came home, she would discuss
her day and sought Fin’s opinion on the day’s
topic, but rarely asked how Dorian had been. Fin had grown frustrated with her apathy towards their
son, but whenever he tried to discuss it with her, she either changed the subject or they got into an
argument over it. Their relationship began to deteriorate to the point where they rarely spent any tine
together as a family, and Fin began to regard the nursery as his permanent bedroom.
The only times Charlene seemed pleased
to be with her son and Fin was when she had been
invited to attend a social or charity function. She would spend half the day getting herself ready, then
spend the rest fusing over them. She would chide Fin over his crooked tie then playfully retie it
herself while poking and pulling on his tux to get it just right. It was these times when she was happy
and charming that reminded Fin of why he had fallen in love with her.
They usually set out late, in a driven car
that had been provided by her parents, because she
loved arriving when the gathering was in full swing. It provided them, she said, with the maximum
degree of exposure, and always made certain that Fin was by her side and ready to be photographed.
The next morning she would eagerly search through the society pages of the paper for their picture
then exclaim over what an attractive couple they made.
Things were always great between them for
a few days after an event, as Charlene accepted
compliments on her son and was told how fortunate she was to have ‘such a handsome and virile-looking
man’. Eventually, though, things would settle down again and she would become restless
and agitated once more. Fin began to suspect that she didn’t so much as want a family as she wanted
the image of one.
It was several days after
Charlene’s graduation from Columbia, right before Dorian’s second
birthday, that Fin realized their relationship was over. As a gift from her mother, Charlene had
planned a summer trip to Europe with some friends that would begin a week after graduation and
would keep her away from home nearly until fall when she started at Columbia Law. Fin was furious
that he had known nothing of her plans until two days before her departure. He couldn’t believe that
she wanted to be away from their son for so long, to say nothing of missing his birthday, and wanted
to know why she hadn’t told him of her plans when she was making them. Mistaking his meaning,
she responded that since he hadn’t graduated on time, it wasn’t ashe che could have joined her
anyway.
Fin stared at her in silence, seeing nothing
of the girl he had once wanted to marry. He had let
her go, then, without another word on the subject, and it was several months before he or Dorian
saw her again.