Delusions

Delusions, Chapter Six



"No offense, Cap'n, but you don’t look too good." Trip threw a concerned glance across the table at Archer. It was just the two of them for breakfast this morning, and Trip was determined to find out was was wrong.

Archer made a non-committal grunt.

"The exchange with the Bosrians went well …"

"Uh huh …"

"Jon …"

Archer looked urip rip only called him Jon outside of Starfleet.

"What's goin' on?"

"It's Hoshi." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Hoshi? What happened?" Out of all the things Trip had expected, a problem with Hoshi was not one of them.

Archer didn't say anything for a while. "I don’t think she loves me anymore. Ever since I got hit on the head she's been different, withdrawn. We haven't had sex, or done anything close, in over a week. Every time I get near her, or try to kiss her, she stiffens and pulls away."

Hearing the anguish in his friend's voice, Trip didn't know what to say. He could understand Hoshi not wanting to be intimate with Archer under these particular circumstances, but he couldn't tell him the real reason she was so distant.

"You want me t' talk t' her?"

Archer sighed. "Yes. No. I don't know. I want to find out what's going on, but … I don't know if she'd talk to you. Or anyone. It's not thinthing that's easily brought up."

"I'll see what I can do, Cap'n." Trip gave Archer what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Archer tried to smile back, but it was more a look from a man going down for the third time.

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That evening the need to talk to Hoshi became more urgent. Phlox had called Trip and T'Pol into Sickbay with bad news.

"The Captain is not responding to the treatment as well as he should be."

"He's gettin' worse?"

"No not worse." Phlox handed T'Pol a PADD with Archer's treatment results on them. "Not yet. Something has happened to slow down the regeneration of his brain cells."

Trip shook his head. "Hoshi."

"Ensign Sato?" T'Pol looked up from the PADD. "I understood that she was amiable to masquerading as the Captain's wife."

"Yeah, well be that as it may, she's not 'amiable' to having sex, or anythin' like it, with him."

"Ah." Phlox frowned. "How does the Captain feel about this?"

"He thinks she doesn't love him anymore."

"That could certainly contribute to his lack of progress …. You'll have to talk with the Ensign and impress upon her the necessity of having some kind of sexual relation with the Captain." Phlox nodded, the answer obvious.

"It ain't gonna be that easy, Doc. Humans just don’t have sex at the drop of a hat like that."

"Of course you do! Humans are notorious for one-night stands. The rate of copulation between Humans that have no previous history together is quite astounding, even for Denobulans. I remember one study that …"

"Yeah, ok." Trip cut the doctor off before he heard something he really didn't want to. "But Hoshi and the Captain … I'll talk t' her. Maybe somethin' can be arranged …" He didn't look too confident though.

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Trip finally ran Hoshi to ground nearly two days later, pulling her into a little used office. He was amazed at the circles under her eyes, the tension in her slight frame.

"We need t' talk." Sitting her down on a small couch, Trip paced in front of her. "The Cap'n's not doin' too well."

"Jon?" Without realizing it, Hoshi used his first name. It was how she thought of him now. "What's wrong?"

"The treatments aren't working as well as they ought. Phlox thinks it's because the Cap'n believes you don't love him anymore."

" … I never loved him." Hoshi hunched in on herself, staring at her feet.

"I know that, an' you know that, but the Cap'n doesn't know that. You've been … withholding yer favors …" Trip broke off as it looked like Hoshi was going to rip into him. "Not that I blame ya! But … can't you at least be a little nice to him? Hug him a little? Kiss him once or twice?"

"I can't," she whispered, turning away from Trip as he sat next to her.

"Why? I always thought the Cap'n was pretty good lookin', for a guy, I mean. I don’t think he'd hold it against you when he got his memory back, havin' t' kiss him and all. All in the line of duty." Trip attempted to sound reassuring.

I wouldn't be able to stop …

"I'll … think about it …"

"Thanks Hosh." Trip patted her shoulder, then wisely left her alone.

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Walking back to 'her' cabin after Alpha shift, Hoshi knew a few kisses weren't going to make everything better with Jon. Noticing the change in him, she didn't want to admit that it was her actions that were driving Jon inside himself. She had tried so hard not to fall in love with him.

Hoshi knew what had to be done, and she could live with herself after this was all over, having done it. Finally admitting that she loved Jon, she would do anything to save him. She just hoped he would be able to live with she did.

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Sitting on the couch, Hoshi looked at the chronometer again. Jon hadn't come back from his treatment yet. Just when she had gotten up her courage, he threw a spanner in the works by being late.

To nervous to sit, she paced the candle lit room. Begging the tapers from T'Pol had been easy, telling her why she needed them had not been. T'Pol had merely raised that Vulcan eyebrow of hers, and handed over the candles without a word.

The sound of the door sliding open caught Hoshi by surprise although she had been waiting for it. Jon stopped just inside the room, his eyes moving from her to the candles to the turned down bed.

"Hoshi?" Expressionless, he looked at her.

"Jon." Hoshi crossed the distance between them, placing a hand over his heart. She could feel it beating wildly, matching her own, even as their outer facades were neutral.

Jon brought his hand up, sliding it under the thin strap of the green teddy. "It fits."

Looking into his eyes, she smiled slightly. "I was wrong."

"Phlox?"

"Some restrictions were lifted."

For a moment Hoshi thought she had made a terrible mistake, as Jon's face remained closed. A cold hand gripped at her, and she started to back away. His hand cupping her cheek stopped her, and as he bent his head to hers she met him halfway.

The kiss was sweet but urgent, making sure that this was what she wanted. Hoshi wrapped her arms around Jon's neck, pulling him closer. Teeth nipped lightly at lips, tongues licked the hurt away. Hoshi held on to Jon tighter as he kissed his way down her throat then back up, his tongue tickling the sensitive spot behind her ear.

Her hand covered his own as he pushed the strap of the teddy off her shoulder. "You first."

Jon stood there as she undressed him slowly, easing his clothes off him until he was again naked before her. This time Hoshi didn't look away; taking her time she let her hands roam over him, tracing every contour, running fingers over his chest. Trailing down his flat stomach, her hand hovered over his erection, the tip glistening. She looked up at him, almost asking for permission.

"Not yet." His voice was rough; without waiting he pulled the teddy down over her shoulders, nearly yanking the material off her hips.

Hoshi waited, nervously, for him to say something. But he didn't speak, just picked her up and carried her over to the bed. Lying down beside her, one hand propping his head up, Jon let the other hand wander in random patterns over Hoshi's body. Caressing a cheek, skimming the hard tip of a breast, swirling around her belly button before gliding over the dark patch of curls and running along her leg, then backup of the return journey.

"I'm always amazed at how beautiful you are." Jon looked at her then, and Hosh desperately wanted to believe him. "I've must of seen you nude over a thousand times, but each time the rush is there. Do you remember our vows? I promised to worship you with my body; I take my promises seriously."

Kissing her briefly, he lowered his head, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking on the tip. Hoshi felt it harden in the warmth of his mouth as Jon's fingers teased the other nipple into a corresponding peak. Increasing waves of pleasure emanated from her breasts, pooling in her belly and making her clitoris throb. Jon's hand followed, his fingers finding the swollen nub. As soon as he touched it Hoshi exploded, riding the surge of her orgasm, nails digging into Jon's shoulders.

Vaguely she registered Jon pushing her knees apart, but it wasn't until his kisses had reached the inside of her thigh that she realized what he was about to do, how close he had come.

"No!" Getting on her knees, Hoshi pulled Jon back up the bed. She couldn't let him go down on her, not when he really didn't want to, when he really didn't love her.

She however …

"I want to." Pushing him back so he sat against the wall, Hoshi knelt between his legs. Leaning forward she kissed him deep, then left his mouth to work her way down his body. Hoshi paid attention to every inch of him, burning the memory into her brain.

Reaching his cock she feathered the tips of her fingers across it. The skin was as soft as she had imagined. With her index finger sprespread the drops of comecome over the tip, watching as the head turned a deeper shade of purple. Hoshi wasn't sure, but she thought it swelled even more.

"Hoshi, sweetheart, for God's sake …" Jon could barely speak. His hands were clenched around the sheet; his face had an expression of pure torture on it.

Taking pity on him, Hoshi slowly took his length in even as his hips bucked, trying to get his cock deeper. She held it there for a while as Jon took deep, gulping breaths, doing his best not to come then and there. Right before she judged he was under control, Hoshi began to move, running her tongue along the bottom, creating suction with her mouth. She would bob up and down, ignoring the head, then attack the spongy tip with a vengeance that would have Jon begging her not to stop. But she would, going back to the slow, languid bobbing up and down the shaft, her tongue swirling over the velvet skin until he had regain some semblance of control before she would start all over.

Only when Hoshi had decided that Jon had had enough did a hand gently roll his testes, squeezing slightly, the other wrapping around his erection. She pumped him with firm strokes as she continued to tease the head, sometimes bobbing back down to take him all in.

Sensing the tightening in his balls, Hoshi sucked on the head, slipping her hands along Jon's thighs, waiting. He was so close she could feel it …

"Hoshi!!" Jon grabbed her head with both hands, shoving her down until he was buried to the hilt in her mouth as he came, the hot spray sliding down her throat. Hoshi closed her eyes, greedily milking him as he continued to cry out, her name echoing in the small cabin.

Only after Jon had turned out the lights and fallen asleep with his head between her breasts did Hoshi allow herself to consider what she'd done.