Ghost of a chance

TITLE: Ghost of a Chance

AUTHOR: Melrick (c) 1997

SERIES: (Voyager, F/F, M/F/F)

RATING: [NC-17] - (Janeway/Kes/Paris) Lesbian, Three-Way, Consenting, Anal.

SUMMARY: Continuing from part 4. Concluding the story.

WARNING: This story was written for adults. See part 1 for details

DISCLAIMER: 'Star Trek: Voyager' and the entire Star Trek universe are properties of Paramount Pictures. This story was not written for financial gain. Please, don't repost or archive without my express permission, and make sure you keep all of the above crap in place. :-)


Ghost of a Chance

Part 5

'No, I will NOT accept that! I found out how to do this, and I - I mean WE - can find out how to do that. I won't rest until I do.' It was clear Kathryn was determined to do just that, but Kes had grave doubts that they would succeed. It didn't mean she wouldn't try - she would try just as hard as long as Kathryn did - but she doubted they would discover anything. Still, it would be great if they did, thought Kes. Yes indeed. It would mean she wouldn't have to wait until she was asleep to enjoy her company. As she thought that, a wicked smile spread over her pretty face.

'What are you smiling at?' Asked Kathryn, puzzled.

'I'll tell you latter,' promised Kes.

*****

They spent the next hour or so just sitting on the bank of the lake and talking.
It was one of the very rare times they had been able to just sit and talk about life; about love; about their fears and their worries. To Kathryn, it was heaven. For years now she had been forced to be Captain for twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. She never had the chance to just step away for a while and be herself. She HAD to be on duty twenty-four hours a day; the crew relied on her. At least, they use to. Now they had to rely on Chakotay. She knew he was a good Commander, but would he make a good Captain? For some, making that step was a very big and daunting step, and some crumbled under the pressure. But somehow, she knew he would turn out just fine. He had to if he wanted the crew to stay motivated and keep their moral high.

But all too soon, it was time for Kes to wake up.

'Kathryn, it's almost time to go.'

'Already? I was just getting to like this.' Kathryn let her head slump in disappointment. She didn't want to leave. She couldn't get the thought out of her head that if she left, she would never experience this again. She tried to tell herself that it was silly, that she had an idea that could perhaps solve her problem. But she still couldn't completely expel the doubts.

'Kes, I'm going to try an experiment when this dream is over, an experiment that could solve all our problems. This will work, Kes. I don't know why I'm so sure, but I am.'

'What are you going to do? Nothing dangerous, I hope!' Kes was genuinely concerned that Kathryn would try something that could get her... but she knew she was already dead and couldn't die any more than she already was... could she?

Kathryn laughed. 'Kes, I'm already dead! I can't die again. Look, don't worry, everything will be fine.' But Kathryn wasn't so sure that everything WOULD be fine. She had no idea what would happen if things went wrong, if things didn't quite go to plan.

'Is there anything I can do?' Kes asked hopefully.

'No, not really. Just do your duty as normal, and don't think about me. You don't want the Doctor getting mad at you again.'

Kes smiled at this. 'No, I don't. But it's not going to be easy to keep my mind on the job. But I'll do my best.'

'I know you will, you always do your best. And when you finish your shift, I'll be waiting for you in your quarters.' Kes and Kathryn stood up and wrapped their arms around each other. They kissed briefly but mainly hugged. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Kes.'

Kes smiled and kissed her full on the lips. The more they did that, the more
Kathryn grew to like it. She only hoped she would have the chance to grow to love it.

Kes' dream ended early morning; early enough so that the day shift 't 't taken over yet. Kathryn made her way down to deck eleven to where engineering was.
Engineering was quiet, only a couple of people on duty, and those two were in the adjoining office. The matter/antimatter reaction chamber stood glowing and humming as usual. The reaction chamber was Kathryn's destination.

Kathryn's idea was for her to walk through the reaction chamber, and the matter/antimatter would react with her spirit and... she wasn't sure what but she had an idea it would bring about a significant change. She hoped it would give her body some substance so she could touch Kes, and hopefully give her voice so she could talk to her. She knew it wasn't going to make her visible, but if the rest were successful they would still be able to see each other in Kes' dreams.

Kathryn Janeway, former Captain of the U.S.S. Voyager, NCC-74656, took a deep breath and walked towards the chamber. "This is it," she thought. "Do or die." She reached out a hand towards the reaction chamber and was satisfied to see it pass through. Her hand tingled painfully, so she quickly pulled it out. "Oh well," she thought, "no-one said it wasn't going to hurt."

Taking another deep breath, with her hand still tingling, she strode forward confidently.

*****

Kes awoke an hour before her shift was due to start and decided to head to sickbay anyway. After all, it wasn't like she was going to get the Doctor out of bed.

'Deck five,' Kes commanded the empty turbolift. On the way down, she wondered if Kathryn had done whatever she planned to do yet. She knew it was no use worrying about it, so she did her best to banish all thoughts of the Captain from her mind.

'Well, you're up early,' commented the Doctor when she activated him. Most people hearing him would have thought he was being sarcastic, but Kes knew otherwise. She knew that even if he *sounded* sarcastic, he wasn't always *being* sarcastic. It was a pretty fine line, but a line Kes was learning to pick more and more. Better than anyone else on Voyager, that was certain.

Kes buried herself in work, which surprised the Doctor. He had had to snap her out of some sort of reverie quite often lately, but today she was as diligent and hard working as he had always known her to be. "Good," he said to himself, "she seems to have gotten over whatever it was that was bothering her."

Once, when he first noticed a change in Kes, the Doctor had asked her if anything was the matter. She had looked at him and opened her mouth as if to say something, but just shook her head instead and said, 'Everything's fine. I just haven't been sleeping well, that's all.' It sounded plausible, but the Doctor suspected something else was wrong. If he had been more confident in his dealings with people, he might have pushed her on the subject. But he wasn't, so he didn't. But either way, it didn't seem to matter now.

Kes had been working so hard to keep her mind active, she was surprised when the
Doctor told her to break for lunch. She did so reluctantly.

Neelix was there, as usual, trying his best, as always, but failing, as ever.
Kes had been growing more and more distant from Neelix recently, and Neelix knew it, which made him try all the more harder to be nice to her. It wasn't working. He had accused her of being in love with someone else, but she just told him to not be so silly. She had no idea how he would react if he found out the truth, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

She listened to his incessant chatting about everything and anything with difficulty. She willed herself not to snap at him or get angry with him, and just finished her meal in silence. When the last of whatever the hell she had just eaten had disappeared in her mouth, she hastily made her excuses and returned to work.

Hours later, she was surprised again by the Doctor telling her to go, her shift had finished ten minutes ago! She returned to her quarters, unsure of what she would find, if anything.

She entered her quarters and looked around, not sure what to expect.

'Kes? Kes, can you hear me?' It was Kathryn speaking, but not out loud. Kes was picking up her voice telepathically.

'Kathryn? Is that you?' She spun around, expecting to see her sitting or standing somewhere. She was disappointed.

'Yes, Kes, it's me. Oh thank god you can hear me. I thought it didn't work.'

*****

Kathryn Janeway had walked confidently through the reaction chamber. The pain was substantial, but she just told herself the pain meant it was working.

She exited the rear of the chamber, her body tingling all over. She looked down at her body, but could see nothing different. Kathryn turned around and tried to plunge her hand through thambeamber again. It clanked into it without passing through.

She remembered the two ensigns in the office and hurried over to them. She called out to them but got no reaction. One of them stood to walk over to a different console, and looked straight through Kathryn without seeing her.

Disheartened, she left the office and approached the turbolift. She walked into it without it opening. She had to wait until the ensigns were busy elsewhere before she dared open the doors manually. Once in the lift she commanded it to take her to deck eight. Kathryn ambled along to Kes' quarters, feeling as low as she could. Once there, she flopped down on the couch and sobbed.

Sometime later, Kes entered her quarters...

*****

'If it worked, why can't I see you? I can hear you telepathically, but I can't hear you out loud.' Kes didn't know what to think. Did it work or not?

'I don't know why you can't see me. But I haven't tried to h anh anybody yet.
I can't seem to pass through anything else though. I had to manually open all the doors and hope no-one saw anything. I think I got away with it because it was still so early in the morning.

'Where are you?' Kes was still looking around.

'I'm on the couch.'

Kes looked down at the couch and noticed an indentation. She hadn't noticed it before because she had been looking fn acn actual person, not an indentation in a couch. 'I can see where you're sitting,' Kes said excitedly.

'I'm standing now.' Kes saw the indentation disappear. 'I'm going to walk over to you and try to touch you on the shoulder.'

'Okay.' Kes held her breath, hoping, almost willing herself to feel the touch of her dream lover.

Kathryn reached out... and touched her shoulder.

'I can feel it, I can feel your hand! Oh Kathryn, that's wonderful!'

Kathryn felt several emotions at once, relief and happiness being the primary ones. 'I don't believe it, it worked.' She wboutbout to say more when Kes' hands started feeling around for her, running over her body. Once she was sure just where Kathryn was, she threw her arms around her and cried on her shoulder.

Kathryn patted her on the back and cooed soothing words. When the crying finally subsided, Kathryn spoke, 'It didn't quite worked out the way I wanted it to - I really wonted you to be able to hear me with your ears, not your mind - but you can't have everything. But the important thing is you can touch me and talk to me and I can touch and talk to you.

Kathryn Janeway, former Captain of the USS Voyager, NCC-74656, now deceased, placed her hands on Kes' cheeks and gave her a long kiss, a kiss filled with relief and happiness, but also passion.

'I love you, Kes. And I want to love you right now.'

'Oh, Kathryn. I love you so much.' They resumed their kissing.


The End.