Carry On My Wayward Son

Chapter 5

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I take this key (never free)

And I bury it (never me) in you

Because you're unforgiven too



Never free

Never me

'Cause you're unforgiven too!

-Unforgiven II

Metallica

 

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(Tags: Masturbation, Fingering)

 

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Sam was up and moving, sipping at his first cup of coffee, trying to push aside the last groggy vestiges of sleep when the phone rang.  Knowing by the ringtone it was Bobby, he refilled his cup then snagged the phone.  “What’s up, Bobby?”  He asked, moving towards the computer to boot it up, assuming that this was about the last e-mail he sent.

 

Rubbing his eyes in a weary way, Bobby cleared his throat then said, “I just finished reading this latest nightmare you sent me…” stopping, he stared at the screen, shaking his head.  “Sam… now, you know I trust you when it comes to this….  And, so far, everything that you’ve shot my way, for the most part, has been dead on.  But this?  Are you sure?”

 

Seating himself at the desk, Sam booted up the machine then snorted, while waiting for it to load.  “I’m not sure of anything, Bobby, you know that.  But about the seals… I went through a professor in Rome, as in Italy, to get most of the information.  He’s attached to the Vatican in some way, either a researcher or works for them, I’m not sure, but he’s not a priest or anything like that.  He was most helpful when he found what I was looking into for a school paper.  Then there is all those ‘end time’ websites out there… That’s a big thing now so there are tons of them.  What you have is what I’ve managed, pieced together from all of that.”

 

Nodding, more to himself, feeling his skin crawl slightly, the old hunter sighed then said, “The seals… how sure are you on those?  The two anyway?”

 

“Dead bang certain,” Sam told him firmly.  “Those are very clear. I found references in more than one place aside from the professor.  The other seals are a bit harder, as there are so many.  But those two… they spelled them out, very clearly.”  Slouching back in the chair after he opened the documents he needed, Sam scrolled through them to find the place that he knew he was going to need.

 

“Shit,” Bobby muttered softly, propping his chin in his hand, staring at the document opened on his computer screen.  “Alright… I’ll look around for myself, of course, to verify but… Dammit, Sam, I don’t like this!”

 

“I don’t either, Bobby, trust me!  Especially because of what it could mean,” Sam told him while taking sips of his coffee.  He needed to be alert for this conversation so he was trying to highball the caffeine into his system as fast as he could. 

 

Picking his own cup of coffee up, Bobby took a long drink then sighed as he set it down by the keyboard.  Staring back at the screen, he asked, quietly, “The first seal was a righteous man shedding blood in hell?”

 

“Yes.  That was spelled out clearly, all over the place,” Sam confirmed with a nod of his head.

 

“And you think that was Dean…” Bobby trailed off, not wanting to finish his thought, pinching the bridge of his nose, not liking the implications of what could come of that.

 

“It would explain why Castiel showed up and pulled him out of hell in the first place,” Sam said softly.  “I think, originally, it might have been dad that they had wanted to do it but he got away and Dean made that deal…”  Sam trailed off, shuddering at the thought of what his brother had suffered through while in hell.

 

“Yeah, that would definitely explain it!  Nothing else I can find or what Cas has said explains why he was pulled out of hell while so many are left to rot there,” Bobby snorted, shaking his head.  “Onto the related topic of Cas… you think the angels are actually letting the seals break?  That they are trying to jumpstart Armageddon?”

 

“Bobby, they had to know that Dean was the one that would break the seal since dad was out of the picture.  If they had wanted it to stop, they would have been prepared the minute the deal came due, since they had a whole year leading up to it, then yanked him out.  Instead, they waited until after the seal was broken.  He had been there for months before they decided to do something.  With the power that side has they could have put a stop to it if they wanted to, long before it came to pass, but they didn’t,” Sam explained, scrolling through his notes as he did.

 

Scrubbing his hand over his face, Bobby grunted then said, “That makes sense, it really does.  I don’t think that they ‘laid siege’ to anything the way Cas said they did.  Also, I think, despite having so many seals to keep an eye on, that the heavenly faction of this pissing contest could keep the damn things from breaking if they want.  Or to at least keep an eye on them then give a heads up if they need help protecting it.  Shit, plenty would go in to stop that crap!”

“I know!  It’s as though they are waiting for them to break,” Sam sighed, shaking his head.  “Look, I can’t prove it, I have no way of doing that unless I get a direct confession but, Bobby, it sure leans that way!  You think you can wiggle around a little and see if you can’t get something out of Cas one way or another?  It would help.”

 

“I’ll see if I can do a little jig and come up with something,” Bobby nodded.  “Eventually, if it was Dean that broke the first seal, Cas is going to come clean about it then I’ll pass it along to you.  But, if you have this lexicon of heaven set up right,” he mused, squinting at the screen and the graph of angels, their order, who runs what and the like that was there, “he’s answering to some powerful beings.  They might have a gag on him.  If that’s the case, he’s not going to say anything.”  Stopping, he scrolled back to the chunk on the seals and stared at the last part about them.  “This last seal… are you sure that’s it?”

 

“It’s like the first one, Bobby, spelled out very clearly; the first demon is the last seal.  Lilith was the first demon by most peoples figuring.  Only other ones might be it are some of the angels that fell with Lucifer but most consider them to be like Lucifer; fallen angels not demons.  It’s her death that will open the final seal.  Those are the only two, of all of them, that have to be opened in order.” Stopping, Sam rubbed his face in a weary way then sighed deeply.  “That’s the one that scares me most, Bobby!  Not only was Ruby pushing, and I mean really pushing, for me to off Lilith but, if Dean gets the chance, he’s going to go after her as well.  I don’t know if he has the power to kill her but, if he can manage, the last seal is gone as well.  Nor has Cas, or anyone else, said anything about that one.  As important as it is, there should be some warning as to which one it is!  Hell, he knew I wanted to off her and said nothing about it nor did he try to dissuade me in any way or get Dean to try to get me to back down.”

 

“You’re right.  Hell, I knew your mission was to off her.  Cas has to know as well.  There is no way he wouldn’t!  You’ve said it to Dean, Dean’s said it to him… So, he knows.  If she is the seal, and this is right, then he would have done or said something to stop it!  But he hasn’t made a peep about it to anyone, even Dean.  All he has is Dean going on some kind of wild goose chase trying to stop seals from breaking as someone attempts it.  Shit, this is the one that needs to be protected above all of them and he’s said nothing,” Bobby huffed, leaning back in his seat, rubbing his tired eyes.

 

“I know, it makes no sense,” Sam sighed with a shake of his head.  “I understand that there are so many seals that it’s hard to protect them all but if they really wanted to stop this, this one would be protected and they would ensure Dean knew what it was.”

 

“That’s what’s leaning me your direction,” Bobby told him while he scrolled through more of the document.  “You can’t convince me Cas, since he’s involved in this whole mess, doesn’t know that is one of the seals.  Now, the question is just what the hell to do about it!”  Stopping, Bobby idly fingered the mouse, staring at the screen but not seeing it, trying to think.

 

“I know, Bobby, I know,” Sam sighed then downed the last of his coffee.  Standing up, he wandered back to the kitchen to pour himself another cup.

 

Tapping a finger on the mouse, focusing on the paragraph about the final seal, Bobby sorted through several things in his mind while trying to come up with something.  After a minute or so, some things finally started to click and he had a rudimentary plan in place.  Shifting topics, he asked, “Are you and Dean talking here and there? Like you said you would?”

 

Sitting back down at his desk, Sam’s brow furrowed, then he replied, “Yeah, almost every night as a matter of fact.  Why?”

 

Nodding to himself, the old hunter then asked, ignoring the question, “Are you getting along better?”



Wondering just where all this was coming from, Sam answered, “We are.  It’s like, oh, I don’t know, we are getting to know each other better.  There are still issues, yeah, especially with trust, but it’s getting better.  Why do you ask, Bobby?”

 

Leaning back in his chair, Bobby scrubbed a hand over his beard then let out a deep sigh.  “What I’m thinking is this… if this continues on the way it is, we might need to take Dean out of play the way we did you.  The most logical thing to do is stick him there on the reservation where you are.  I know by now that neither side can find you there.  Even Cas admitted that he can’t find you anywhere, it’s like you’ve vanished off the face of the earth.  But that’s going to depend on you two idjits.  If you can’t get along or he doesn’t agree then I don’t want to even mention where you are.”

 

Rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner, Sam thought that over.  Bobby, of course, was right.  Dean would be safe here and neither side could find them.  Though it was his suspicion that the only being that could kill Lilith was himself, from how she couldn’t injure him the night Dean was taken to hell, he couldn’t be sure of that either.  And, honestly, he missed his brother, wanting to see him.  But he wasn’t going to put anyone in jeopardy, including himself, to do that one.  However, if he was right on all this crap, he wanted, more than anything, to make sure Dean was safe.  If that meant his brother would come stay with him, that would be fine.

 

After pondering it for a couple minutes, he replied, softly, “I see your point, Bobby.”

 

Shifting around and straightening up, the old hunter put his elbow on his desk while he shifted his hat around slightly then said, tone gruff, “Alright, for now, just keep doing what you’re doing with Dean.  Make sure you work on the trust bit, to build it up.  Then, from my end of things, I’ll start working to confirm all this.  I’ll also talk to the medicine man up there and fill him in once that’s done.  I don’t think he’ll have an issue with Dean joining you.  Right now, I just want to be prepared for what might be coming.”

 

Nodding, Sam said, “Alright, Bobby.  I’ll do what I can.”  Snorting in dry amusement, he then said, “Right now, I think we’re talking more than when we traveled together so that isn’t a problem I don’t think.  Do you think I should start dropping hints about some of what is going on?  He knows I run the site now so I’m sending info to him directly.”

 

Thinking that over quickly, Bobby then shook his head, “No, just give the information you are asked for.  But, on this end, I’ll start dropping some hints here and there to gauge his reaction while continuing to search.  On your end, keep digging to see what you can find.  Once we get something, and we will eventually, between the two of us, we’ll move from there.”



“Alright, sounds good to me,” Sam sighed.  “But, honestly, I’m worried about Dean.  I have a feeling that he’s in as much danger as I am with this.”

 

“I think you’re right, Sam.  But, for now, we need to do it this way.  If either side gets any kind of hint you and I might know what’s going on it’s going to hit the fan in a big way.  You are in more danger, keep that in mind.  I don’t think Cas is going to let anything happen to Dean.  He’s protecting him for something, probably something big, though I don’t know what it is.  Remember that,” Bobby told him gruffly.

 

Sighing deeply, Sam replied, voice soft, “Alright, Bobby.  For now, that’s fine.  But if he gets into trouble…”

 

“Understood, Sam, and I don’t blame you.  Just don’t be going off half-cocked,” Bobby warned.  “Before you go and think to do something foolish, call me then we’ll talk it over, alright?  That way we can both judge what the best move to make is.”

 

“That’s something I can work with,” Sam told him with a nod.  He liked the idea of talking things over before making such a decision.  Rubbing his eyes, he then sighed and changed the topic, “Have you looked anymore into binding spells?  I’m coming up with so many that I can’t sort through them all.”

“It’s the same on this end.  Send me what you have and I’ll add them to the growing pile of things I have to sort through.  In the mean time, I’ve put out some feelers to a few people and will see what bites.  A couple of them are fairly proficient in this kind of thing.”



Nodding, finding the document he needed, Sam quickly opened his e-mail and prepared it to send to Bobby.  “Will do.  I’ll keep looking and see if anything bites me but…”

“Yeah, I know.  I’ll do the same thing on this end but I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere without some help,” Bobby gruffed, making a note to call a couple other people he knew.  “Well, I think that’s all, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, it was pretty much what I wanted to cover with you,” Sam told him, leaning back in his chair.

 

“Alright, I’ll sort through all this then do what I need to.  I’ll give you a call back if I come up with something.”



“Talk to you later, Bobby.  And, thanks,” Sam said before hanging up.

 

Grabbing his cup, the youngest Winchester shuffled out to the kitchen to pour himself some fresh coffeeand see if he couldn’t find something to eat, knowing it was probably going to be a long day.

 

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Grabbing his laptop, Dean moved from the table he had been planted at for the last several hours to the bed.  After plugging the thing in, he plopped down and arranged himself on it, reaching down to palm his hard cock through his jeans, sighing softly.  Fuck, he was horny!  But, right now, he wasn’t going to take care of it.  That was going to wait until after he talked to Sammy.

 

Shifting around to get comfy, Dean pulled up the messenger program but didn’t log in yet.  He wanted to relax a few and, hopefully, let the flush he knew was on his face to dissipate before he logged in to talk to Sammy.  It had been a bad day, a really bad one, so he needed some amusement when he finally was able to get a room for the night.  Since, anymore, he wasn’t interested in going out to find a random chick to bang, he wanted diversion of another kind.  Knowing, by now, that if he and Sam were talking that Sammy wouldn’t go into chat, let alone put on a show, he stayed logged off his normal name then went in under the other one.  As he suspected, Sam was there, in the chatroom.  He had hung out there for a couple hours, just shooting the shit with those there, then, privately in a PM, asked if he would put on another show.  Though he had hemmed and hawed a little, saying he was waiting for someone to show online that he was going to talk to, Sammy eventually capitulated and he got to see, once more, his little brother in all his naked glory, stroking himself.  That, alone, was enough to turn him on, immensely.  Even better was when Sam, obviously very turned on, started to fuck his own ass with his finger.  Right then and there, he had about cum in his pants.  So did many others, from the sounds of what was said in the voice part of the chatoom.  But he had used all his considerable self control to not touch himself.  He knew, talking to Sammy later, that the erection would just return.  He would rather finish the job after he got done talking to him at night so it was easier to visualize the voice with the pictures that came to mind.

 

Leaning his head back against the wall, he shut his eyes then pushed his throbbing cock into a more comfortable position, trying to calm himself down.  On the heels of that came the guilt that he felt each time he fantasized about Sam but was able to, by now, shove that aside so it didn’t bother him much.  Once he beat that back to a manageable level, the thought that he wanted some way to preserve the ‘shows’ Sammy put on so he could watch them again when he was alone came to mind.  But, honestly, he didn’t know if there was something out there that would do that.  Nor would he know where to look for it.  Thinking it over, he grinned slightly when he decided to ask Sam about it.  Sammy would know since the geek boy was a fount of information on things for the computer.  He just wouldn’t say WHY he wanted it.  Let Sammy assume what he wanted, like it was for Busty Asian Beauties or something.  Nodding to himself, grinning, he figured that was a plan he would go with.

 

After about a half an hour and a couple of beers, he figured that he was calm enough to go on messenger and talk to Sam.  After logging in, he nodded, approving, when he saw that Sammy was still online.  Quickly, he PMed with a ‘hey, Sammy’, then sat back and grinned.

 

Almost immediately, Sam PMed back with a ‘hey, bro!’ then sent him an invite to video chat.

 

Turning everything on and adjusting the headset, Dean relaxed more than he had all day.  “How’s your day been, Sammy?”  He asked, taking a drink of his beer.

 

Grinning slightly and shrugging, Sam replied, taking his own drink from a bottle, “Busy.  Lots of things to do.  Researching stuff mostly,” he told Dean, focusing on some of the sites he had open. 

 

Nodding, Dean replied, “As long as you’re keeping busy and out of trouble.” 

 

Glancing down at the clock, Sam grinned then shook his head before saying, “It’s late, Dean.  Have a hot date tonight?”

 

Chuckling, Dean then grinned mischievously, “Something like that, yeah.”

 

“She hot?  Have fun?” 

 

“They were most definitely hotter than hell!  I loved every minute of it, too,” the elder Winchester said, grinning bigger, loving the slight play on words he was using.

 

Rolling his eyes, Sam only said, “No details please!”  Shifting around in his chair, he began to copy and paste things into a document, making sure to include the URL so he could reference back.

 

After another drink, Dean said, “I have a question for you, geek boy.  There was some live stuff I was watching online and I was wondering if there was a way to record it and save it to the computer.”

 

Assuming that his brother meant his porn crap, Sam just shook his head but said, “Yeah, there are a couple good cam capture programs out there.  Give me a minute and I’ll find you one.  Just download, install then follow the instructions.”  Finding the URL quickly, he PMed the program he was most familiar with to Dean.  “That should do what you want and it’s easy to run.”  Leaning back in his chair he grinned then said, “More porn, Dean?”

 

Clicking the link that popped up for him, Dean grinned from ear to ear.  “Of the best kind, Sammy boy!”  Mentally rubbing his hands together, he started the download, putting it somewhere so that he wouldn’t forget to install the thing.

 

“I don’t want to know, Dean!” Sam said, rolling his eyes.  Leaning back, he looked at the screen, smiling slightly at his brother.  “Other than going out, how was your day?”

 

Frowning slightly, Dean shook his head.  “It wasn’t a good one, Sammy.  Cas popped in and said a couple more seals are gone then I had to take on a damn witch.  You know I hate friggin’ witches!  Of course, she had ganked a rabbit, poor thing.  What do witches have against rabbits anyway?”  Stopping, he then sighed again, “Worst part about all of this?  I don’t even know what I’m looking for when it comes to the seals.  I can’t stop what I don’t know.  Most everything else I can take on but the seals?  I’m lost.”  Glancing up at the screen, seeing Sammy’s concerned face, he asked, “Do you think you could do some research on the seals to see what you can come up with for me?  I don’t know if it would do any good but I’d like to know what I’m up against.”

 

Though feeling his gut clench, Sam nodded, “I’ll see what I can do, Dean.”  Quickly, he made a cryptic note on the sticky pad program he kept on the computer to call Bobby in the morning about this to see what he said. 

 

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Dean glanced, once more, at the screen then shook his head.  He wanted to relax not end up rethinking the whole damn day.  That wasn’t what he talked to Sammy for anymore.  That was to relax and sort things out between the two of them, something he was sure was succeeding.  Wiggling around to get comfortable, he snorted then said, “Enough of that shit, let’s talk about something more fun.  Find any good porn sites lately, Sam?”

 

Grinning from ear to ear, Sam just shook his head.

 

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Lying in bed about 3 AM, Dean found he couldn’t sleep though he was tired.  He had, of course, jacked off to the images and sounds from earlier, just as he thought he would.  Thought sated, something that usually send him off into a deep slumber, he found that he couldn’t sleep.  Things were bothering him.  No, it wasn’t the hunting, seals or anything related to that.  Instead, it was Sammy. 

 

More and more, his mind was skipping to when Sammy was back with him.  He doubted that he could shove aside what was going on now then forget it ever happened.  Actually, he was pretty sure that once they were back together it would get worse.  Already, he was having some pretty damn explicit fantasies about what he wanted to do to his baby brother.  After tonight’s performance, he was sure they were going to get worse. 

 

Lying there, scrubbing a hand over his face, he let out a groan.  If he were being honest with himself, he would admit that he wanted that.  Shit, he had earned a return trip to hell already for a bunch of the crap he had pulled.  Let’s face it; fucking all the nameless women he did was enough to get him there not to mention all kinds of other things.  The way he saw it, this wasn’t any worse than any of that.  But the clincher was he didn’t know Sammy’s view on it.  Shit, he got embarrassed looking up porn on the internet.  This… well, he doubted that Sam would react well if he did bring it up.

 

With a groan, he sat up and put his feet on the floor.  Clasping his hand, he let them dangle between his spread knees, elbows resting on his bare thighs.  Shutting his eyes, he shook his head.  This was all so weird.  Their life was something he had accepted long ago since it was all he really knew.  But this weird turn was something throwing him.  For the first while with it he wondered if it didn’t mean he was bisexual or something but he quickly discounted that since the only man he found a turn-on was Sammy nor had there been anyone in the past of the male gender that he had fancied.  But, frankly, he didn’t know if that was worse or if he should be relieved.  With it being just Sammy it was something he could handle to an extent, especially now that they were apart.  It was the thought of when they got back together that bothered him most.  He could deal with that, he was already convinced of it and wanted to.  But Sam… Shit, he just didn’t know.

 

Staring down at the threadbare carpet, he tried to think.  Maybe, while they were still apart he should put some feelers out to his little brother about some things to ease the way?  Though that sounded like a good idea, he wasn’t sure about it.  Hell, he wouldn’t even know how to go about that honestly.  He didn’t think that coming right out and saying ‘bro, I ain’t gay or anything but your ass is hot and I want to nail it’ would be a good way to jump into things.  Since he wasn’t known for subtleties, he wasn’t sure how to approach it. 

Thinking the situation over, he also thought about what Sammy was like and when he was more apt to talk about things.  The only time that came to mind was when his brother had a bit much to drink.  It was then that Sammy’s tongue was a little freer and he would say things he normally wouldn’t.  That might be the time to start dancing close to the issue and see where it led.  Nodding to himself, he thought that was a damn good idea.  Since, from what he’d noticed, his little brother was drinking more than he usually did, something that told him whatever was going on bothered the living shit out of him, it might be easier to start with that and go onwards.  Then, once he got an idea where his little brother’s head was, he could move on.

 

Since, as far as he could tell, that was about the best he was going to be able to come up with, he decided that’s what he was going to do.  Nodding to himself, he flopped back down on the bed then shifted into a comfortable position.  Shutting his eyes, he tossed the whole thing over in his mind trying to come up with the best way to segue into it with Sammy while he tried to fall asleep.

 

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Please review.  My rabid plot bunnies from the lowest levels of hell love to eat them for midnight snacks!  Thus getting the lil buggers to leave me alone for a short time so they don’t keep gnawing at my brain!

 

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