Reclamation

A/N: ANGST, Emotional bloodletting. Reid begins to compartmentalize. Reminder that this fic is AU and I have taken liberties with cannon, chronology and facts :D

Feedback please, it's the only payment I get :P


Chapter 5

The examination by the doctor was almost paralyzing for Sasha. Morgan had insisted on staying with her, but the female doctor had been firm. Derek had to wait in the hall.

The team badgered him for answers but he didn't have any beyond she was coping. Once they let him back in, he was at her side.

"I'm back, Baby." he murmured when she looked at him with perpetually wet eyes.

"We need to bandage this foot, Sasha." the doctor said with a gentle expression.

Reid clung to Derek's hand as the doctor and nurse carefully bound up the badly bruised foot. They gave her only mild pain medication, not wanting to have a bad reaction with what had been forced on her.

It all seemed to be taking too long for Sasha. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to wash, so badly. She wanted to curl up in Derek's lap with Aristotle and pretend the last two days hadn't happened.

Once they had her injuries taken care of, the placid doctor stated that she needed to talk to Sasha about her recovery.

"Mr. Morgan, if you could step outside again please." She said, holding her clipboard to her chest. Sasha shook her head frantically.

"NO!" Her voice was louder then she meant. "I-I'm sorry, but I want him to stay." she said and swallowed hard. Derek squeezed her hand and looked at the doctor.

"It's up to her, if she wants me to stay, then I'm staying." His voice was calm but serious. Reid nodded her head.

"Please." she whispered and licked her bruised lips. The doctor sighed and nodded her own head.

"Alright, Dr. Reid. But, that answers the first question I have." she said, flipping the papers on the clipboard. "Mr. Morgan will be able to assist you when you leave?" she asked, raising a brow as she looked at the couple. Reid's brow furrowed and she cocked her head to the side.

Derek felt a little warm sensation in his chest. He adored her confused expression. The doctor held up a hand when Sasha looked ready to protest.

"You are going to need someone with you for at least two weeks. It's going to be hard to get around with both the foot and the cracked ribs. You won't be able to take the pressure on crutches for very long. So, avoiding them until the ribs have healed is what I am recommending." She spoke with efficiency and seriousness.

Morgan was quick to agree. He knew Sasha might balk at the enforced care but she needed it. He needed to be able to do something for her as well.

"Yes, I'll take care of her. And if I can't be there, any one of our team will happily stay with her." he said looked down at Sasha.

"I talked to them in the hall. Garcia might blow a gasket if you try to keep her and the bakery she is planning away." He said trying to give her a lighter expression. Sasha felt her chest tighten and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Y-Yeah...ok." she looked at the doctor again and tried to pay attention.

"The stitches we put in your foot, should dissolve in a week. Be sure to keep it clean and there will be some ointment for that and the abrasions on your face." She rattled off and flipped the papers back down. Her eyes became very sympathetic and she cleared her throat a little before continuing.

"I am going to strongly recommend that you see a a trauma therapist, Dr. Reid. In your line of work, the psychological stress is already extremely high. You will want to heal, not cover up what you've been through." Her eyes were gentle and imploring, she held Sasha's gaze. The younger woman chewed her bottom lip and nodded mutely.

Derek's heart was squeezing so painfully while the doctor spoke of the injuries from the rape. His lungs seemed unable to take a full breath and the sting in his eyes was making seeing difficult.

He didn't want, yet needed, to hear that the physical damage from the sexual assault was going to heal quickly. He knew that the doctor was avoiding telling Sasha she was lucky it hadn't been worse, he silently thanked her for her sensitivity.

Sasha was beginning to compartmentalize. She listened but wouldn't let the tears or pain well up. Her logic was beginning to take hold once more. She listened like as if the words were about someone else

"We didn't have to stitch, so you should recover from those injuries quickly. But please check in with your doctor when you get back to DC. Make an appointment first thing. I will send your records from here." she stepped forward and clasped Sash's calf in a comforting hold.

"You are a very strong, intelligent young woman. I think if you remember that, let those who love you help, then you can get through this." she patted Sasha's leg and gave them both a tight little smile.

"I am willing to let you go with your team, if you promise me to see your doctor back in DC, ASAP." She eyed the young women. Reid flushed and nodded looking down. "Ok, I'll go fill out the papers."

"Thank you." Sasha said in a small voice. Derek echoed the thanks as the doctor left. He turned and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. She didn't look up. Derek was trying to keep his feelings calm for her.

"You ready to see the team?" he asked and reached up to brush her hair back. Sasha flinched on instinct. She flushed immediately.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered not looking at him. Derek tiled her chin up with one finger and shook his head.

"You don't have to apologize, Pretty Girl. Just tell me what you want and I will do it." he said and she drew in a deep breath. Sasha wanted to not be here, she wanted to not have been raped. Her chest clenched but she stuffed the feelings down.

"I can see them, just--" she licked her lips a few times, like her mouth had gone dry.

"Tell them not to smother me, please. I don't think I can handle weepy eyes and 'sorry faces' from them right now." she asked, feeling like shit for it. Derek nodded.

"Understood." he said and brought her fingers up to kiss them. Sasha watched him with wide eyes, conflicting emotions visible in her golden irises. How could he not want to get away from her? How could he still love her? The dark voice hissed in her head.

'It's pity, he knows they would all think him an asshole if he dumped you now. But he will. You're damaged goods. Your dirty and used. He won't touch you like that anymore. JUST WATCH!' She shivered at the darkness that voice evoked in her. She didn't want to listen.

Derek stood and held up a finger. He stuck his head out the door and spoke to someone. Reid couldn't hear what he said but she wasn't really trying to.

Clutching the sheets in her hands, she tried to put on a more together face. For her team, her family, who hadn't stopped looking for her. The conflicting feeling were pushing at her reason and logic.

Derek was back at her side before she realized it. He smiled and peeling her fingers off the bedding. He twined them with his own and gave her his strength.

The door pushed open, Garcia, Emily and JJ came in. They all smiled and tried to look like everything was ok.

The bubbly tech was clearly dampened by what had happened. Yet, she didn't let it stop her from going to Reid's side and grasping her free hand.

"Hey Sugarplum, you ready to blow this pop-stand?" she asked and gave Sasha a 'brave little toaster' smile. JJ and Emily sat at the foot of the bed, being careful of the bandaged foot.

"We're wrapping up with the local PD, then the jet will be fueled for us to go home." JJ said, her voice wavering a little. Emily watched Sasha, noting the mask she was wearing and couldn't blame her.

"We're going to get you home, Sash." she said, her dark eyes showing more emotion than they had before.

Sasha gave them a small weak smile. Derek was still holding her hand and showing no sign of hiding his feelings for her. That conflicted with the voice in her head. She tried to focus on the women.

"Thanks. I just want to get out of here." she said and had to lean closer to Derek. They all nodded and tried to think of something to say. Garcia kept patting the genius' hand.

There was a soft knock on the door. Emily looked up.

"That would be the guys." Emily replied softly. She gave a tight smile as Hotch stuck his head in the room.

"Means our time is up, ladies." The women got up, with soft pats and brave smiles, they left.

Hotch, Gideon and Rossi came in. Reid shifted closer to Derek unconsciously. Morgan looked down at her in concern.

Hotch caught the way she seemed to cringe from them. He quickly sat in one of the chairs. Jason walked around to sit on the bed, facing Sasha and Derek. Rossi kept back, observing more than interacting. Gideon was the first to speak. His gentle loving eyes glassy as he looked at the young agent he considered a daughter.

"Sasha, you are truly an amazing woman." Jason said, in his soft placid voice. Hotch was studying his agent as well, wanting to be sure she wasn't too far broken.

"We'll be leaving in about two hours." he said in a low voice. "You take all the time you need to heal, Reid." His furrowed his brow in a way that meant he was trying to mask his emotions. Reid recognized the behavior.

She nodded to her bosses and gripped Morgan's hand. She was trying not to be needy, she was trying to be strong.

"Just want to go home." she said again and laid her head on Mogan's shoulder. Derek looked at the men and his expression told them to make it quick.

Gideon nodded minutely and held out a hand, palm up, to Sasha. Hesitantly, she took it and relaxed a little at the familiar warmth.

"We're going to help you through this, Sasha." he said, patting his other hand over hers. Hotch and Rossi made agreement sounds and then they all left the room.

When it was just Sasha and Morgan again, she seemed to deflate. Morgan moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders, hugging her to his chest. She hung on and just breathed.

MRMRMRMRMR

Morgan was getting to study the injuries Reid sustained more intently. She was sitting next to him on the plane, staring out the window.

His stomach was in knots, he could see more bruises darkening on her pale skin. There were purple striations on her elegant throat. Morgan's jaw tightened and his fist clenched. That fucker had strangled her at some point. Unwanted, his mind summoned images of when Hankle would have done that. It made his jaw clench tighter, enough that his teeth squeaked.

The trip was, thankfully, not a long one. When the jet landed, Derek gathered their go bags and handed them to Emily. He insisted on carrying Sasha down the steps.

She had stopped protesting, slipping into a passive silence during the flight. Derek recognized it as a coping mechanism and didn't trying to bring her out of it.

The team were all reluctant to leave Reid. They hung around, offering help while Derek loaded her into the passenger seat of his SUV.

Thanking their family as warmly as he could, Derek assured them Sasha needed space right now. He did ask Garcia if she would come by in the morning.

"I'll need to go home and get some things. I am not willing to leave her alone." he said, they watched Sasha curl in on herself and pretend sleep.

"Of course, Honey." she said and squeezed his wrist. "You two try to get some rest." she said with so much love in her voice. He hugged her tight and then waved goodbye to the others.

The drive was silent and fraught with tension. Derek wanted to say things, ask things, but at the same time, knew he could not push her. She had to go at her own pace.

At Reid's apartment, he made two trips up the narrow stairs. First, to bring her up and second, to bring their things and lock up. When he got back, he found that Sasha was struggling to get to her feet. Dropping the bags, he rushed to her.

"Hey, where you going, Baby?" he asked gently. Sasha tried to shake his hands off. Her face was a mix of pain, anger and desperation.

"I need- I need--to take a shower." she said. Her facade was cracking in the safety and comfort of her home. Her loving pet had tried to snuggle up to her and she couldn't let him. Not while she was dirty. She began to pant frantically, her hands clutching at Morgan, while at the same time pushing him away. Her explosion of temper didn't surprise him, but the words she used did.

"I HAVE to get him the hell off me! I can't fucking stand it! I can still smell him! My hair reeks of that fucking shack!" she began to sob through gritted teeth.

"I can still feel him---inside me!" she was nearing hysterical. "I didn't want his cum inside me anymore! I want all it gone!" She swayed on her unsteady feet and then almost fell. Derek caught her and lifted her into his arms.

"Ok, Baby." he said placidly and moved toward her bathroom. He knew she was working through her pain. He was willing to be her whipping post if need be. Setting her down on the closed commode, he brushed the hair from her eyes.

"I will run you a bath. I doubt you can stand in a shower." He sounded brave and calm, but he was holding back his own tears. Sasha gripped his wrist and looked at him with golden eyes swimming.

"I-I am sorry." she said, suddenly calm. "I fought him, I didn't want to but I ended up letting him fuck me." Derek flinched at the words. Her emotions were shutting down, the clinical scientist coming to the fore. She was trying to distance herself from the event by making it sound impersonal and crass.

"You are the one I wanted to give my virginity to. I'm sorry I betrayed you, Derek. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to keep him from fucking me." her tone was flat and cold. It sucked the air from Morgan's lungs.

Derek instantly went to his knees before her. His hands clasped her face and he looked at her intently.

"You did nothing wrong. NOTHING! You hear me?" his voice shook with his held back emotions. "He did wrong, he took from you, stole what wasn't his. You didn't let him fuck you, Sasha. You didn't betray anyone." He said and the tears fell, despite his willing them to stop. Seeing his emotional dam breaking, Sasha was moved and her tears joined his.

"You are not to blame, Baby." he said his lips trembling. He leaned his forehead against hers, they both wept together. "I'm the one who is sorry, for not being there to protect you." he whispered and Sasha launched herself into his arms.

For a very long time he held her and they both wept. Sasha couldn't form words but she clung to Derek, hoping he understood, she didn't blame him.

When her crying and subsided to hiccups, Morgan helped her to sit again and set about running her a bath. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

"Do you want me to leave while you get in?" he asked, though he was loath to leave her alone when she could fall so easily. Reid shook her head and looked at him with imploring eyes.

Her heart hammered her chest as the voice insisted he didn't want to see her body, that it disgusted him now.

"W-Would you be willing to s-stay?" she asked in a tiny voice. Derek silently cursed himself for his mistake and moved to catch her hands in his.

"I am not leaving you, Sasha. I just do not want to remind you of ANYTHING he did." He said and pulled her up into a hug. "Just tell me if you start to panic, ok?" He asked and was relieved when she gave a small nod. Derek steeled himself. This was not going to be easy or happy.

He had imagined the first time he saw her body would be happy and lustful. Now he wondered if she'd ever be able to feel desire for him again.

The thought broke Morgan's heart.

TBC...