Would You?

All previous disclaimers apply.

Author's Note: Sort of a short chapter. Next one might be kind of short, too, but they should get longer again after that. Please leave a comment if you have time. I really appreciate the feedback. I know Puck's getting a little OOC and he'll probably get more so as the story goes on. Please forgive! Happy reading! T.H.


For the past two days it had been hard for Puck to spend even a single hour away from Kurt. Even being away from him overnight was hard. So when he woke up on Saturday morning and realized that he would have to spend the day away from Kurt completely, he put the pillow over his face and screamed into it. When he finally forced himself out of the bed and into the kitchen he realized that it was only nine o'clock in the morning and couldn't help but smile. Both his mother and Kurt would be shocked, he thought, to see him out of bed before noon on a weekend. He wondered why he had woken up so early for only a brief moment before deciding it didn't matter. It sucked not having many friends, he realized as he sat down in front of the television with a bowl of cereal and watched the Saturday morning cartoons. He could try to call up Matt or Mike, but chances were that they were over at Finn's house. It had been kind of a tradition for the four of them to stay at Finn's every Friday night and play video games until four in the morning and not wake up until noon on Saturday. And as much as he wanted someone to hang out with, he didn't want to ruin something else for Finn by making him feel like their issues would force their friends to choose between them. So far they had addressed it by having video game night one week with Finn and the next week with Puck.

He put his cornflakes aside. All of the sudden they didn't taste as good as they had. He had to admit that video game night wasn't the same without Finn. Nothing was the same without Finn. He had messed up when he had hurt Finn so badly, he knew it. And for what? A night with a girl he hadn't even really wanted? He wasn't the same person he'd been when he allowed himself to sleep with Quinn Fabray despite the fact that she was dating his best friend. Yes, he'd been drunk, but he hadn't been drunk enough not to know that it was wrong. And what had he gotten in return? His best friend couldn't been in the same room with him without wanting to physically hurt him, the mother of his baby wanted him to have nothing to do with her or their child, and his daughter would never even know that he existed. He groaned and covered his face. He'd seriously fucked up his life. He didn't want to be that person anymore. Didn't want to carry around so much guilt. He wanted to be someone worthy of Kurt's love and the devotion the smaller boy showed him. And to do that, he was going to have to make everything in his life as right as possible. Or at least get the ball rolling. For the second time that morning, he covered his face with a pillow and screamed. Why did this shit have to be so hard?

His revelation did nothing to ease the burden on his heart. If anything it just made the fist in his chest tighten with nerves that he knew would only get worse until he could actually speak with Finn and Quinn. He wanted to talk to Kurt about all of this. He felt the need as keenly as his nerves. He wanted to get Kurt's opinion, hear what Kurt had to say. But more than wanting to work though his problems with Kurt, he just wanted someone he knew would still love him after everything was done to be there to listen to him. He could always tell his mother, he knew. If she could accept the fact that he was…gay she could accept anything and still love him when he was finished talking. But, he wanted it to be Kurt because he wanted to Kurt to see that he was trying to change himself into someone that Kurt would be proud to come out of the closet with and hold hands with in the hall. He moaned into the pillow still over his face. He was seriously gay. And he was seriously –God, he had to be able to say it to himself if he was ever going to have a hope of saying it to Kurt- in…(Well, maybe it was too soon.) Deep like. Deep like sounded good. He was seriously in deep like with Kurt Hummel. He wanted nothing more to be with Kurt now, but he knew it was too much. They didn't really see each other when it wasn't one of their days. The fact that they'd been together two days in a row had already been pushing it. He wanted to pull Kurt closer, not push him away. And he'd already established that. God, all of this shit was making him think in circles. He needed something to distract himself.

He took the pillow off of his face and looked around the apartment for something to do that would keep his mind off of Finn, Quinn, and Kurt. The sun slanting in the window illuminated the dust on the TV and little table the lamp sat on. He had never noticed just how quickly the apartment could get dusty. He didn't allow himself to really think about what he was doing before he grabbed the rag and lemon oil his mother kept under the sink. Because, seriously, Puck cleaning of his own free will? Forget being surprised, his mother would have a heart attack if she saw him. He put on some of his mother's old Neil Diamond records because they sounded so much better than his CDs and got to work, cleaning and singing along, every once in a while taking thirty seconds to dance a little after which he always looked around suspiciously to make sure that no one had seen. Their apartment wasn't exactly big, he found out, when it only took him a couple of hours to have the living room, kitchen, and bathroom sparkling clean. He looked at the clock again. Not even noon. He turned to his room and shrugged. Might as well. Humming along to "I Am…I Said" he took on his room. He hadn't cleaned his closet in years and, less than an hour later, found himself sitting in the middle of his floor surrounded by things that he had to stuff into bags to be taken to Goodwill. It took him another hour to actually organize after he had put all of the bags out into the hall, and he marveled at the difference when he could actually walk across his floor without tripping over anything. After he had finished with his room, which now looked better than it had since he was in grade school and he couldn't wait to see Kurt's reaction when he next brought him over, he stripped his bed and took his sheets, and all of the dirty clothes he had found as he was cleaning to the washer. He nearly went across the hall to ask Mrs. Guttenberg how to work the washer, but finally figured it out. He nodded and grinned when he put only whites in a load. He had seen enough movies where a guy put colors with whites and ended up with pink socks and underwear. And even though he was completely badass and could pull off pink underwear he was proud that he was smart enough not to have to.

After the first load was in the dryer and the second in the washer, he decided that he had the time and it wasn't very far away, so he loaded the bags of things still good enough to donate into his truck and drove them to the Goodwill. He actually paid attention to the noises his truck was making that he had ignored for a couple of weeks on the way home. And so, after folding the clothes in the dryer, throwing the second load in, and putting away the folded clothes, he put on his car clothes and got under the truck, trying to see what was wrong. After nearly an hour of tinkering, he still couldn't find what it was and reminded himself to have Kurt look at it when they had a little bit of time. Kurt was so good with cars. It had been a complete shock to Puck when one day when he had complained about his truck making noises just after Kurt have given him a look when he'd shown up late Kurt had simply asked for his keys and marched outside. He'd been shocked enough into giving up the keys and staring after Kurt for nearly thirty seconds until he'd finally gotten the will to move and had walked outside to see Kurt bent over his engine. It had been insanely hot to see Kurt's hands covered in grease and oil that he had transferred to his cheek when he rubbed it and told Puck that he just had to get a wrench and he could fix the rattling. At first Puck had felt a little embarrassed that Kurt knew more about cars than him. Now it was just a completely hot convenience. The fact that Kurt was a grease monkey when he was so prissy when it came to everything else just made Puck grin.

Fuck, he was back to thinking about Kurt. He walked back into his apartment half hard and more than a little uncomfortable. But, now he couldn't stop himself from thinking about the smaller boy. He thought about him all through his shower, when he jerked off in said shower, all through making himself an early dinner because there was nothing else to do and he had skipped lunch, and all through eating it while he watched some ridiculous discovery channel special on the survivors of the Holocaust that his mother had recorded and considered calling her. He wanted her to be proud of what he had done all day, wanted her to be proud of him, but his finger stopped on the call button. He was pretty sure she already thought he was on drugs and this might just push her over the edge a little. He didn't want to worry her and have her and Miri come back early from the sleep away camp thing. She already had enough to worry about when it came to him. He finished watching the documentary, didn't admit –even to himself- that his eyes were more than moist, and tried to think of something else to do. When he came up with absolutely nothing he strolled back into his room to grab his guitar and his eye caught the backpack hanging innocently off of his desk chair. He told himself that he wasn't seriously considering actually doing his homework until he was hunched over his desk, the glasses he would never admit to having on the end of nose, writing a paper about something he actually knew something about, thanks to his mother's obsession with her children knowing everything there was to know about the Holocaust, what had led to it, specific pogroms enacted during the course of the war and genocide, etc… When he had finished the paper he was surprised at the sense of accomplishment he felt. He wanted to share it with someone.

A phone call couldn't hurt, he thought. In fact, it would probably be a good step to showing Kurt that he wanted something other than sex. He just had to keep his mind focused. They had exchanged numbers when they had decided it was safer to move their encounters to Kurt's house. They'd never actually called each other, but they had texted a lot to set up concrete times and so that Kurt could confirm that his father was, indeed, out of the house. He got comfortable on his freshly made bed and looked Kurt up in his phone, pausing only a moment to take a deep breathe before hitting the talk button. Kurt picked up on the third ring.

"Noah?" He sounded disbelieving.

"Hi," Puck let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, "Uh...is this a bad time?"

"No," Kurt sounded just as nervous as Puck was, "I just got done doing the dishes. My father's watching Deadliest Catch or something equally inane." He paused for a moment, then finally asked the question Puck had been waiting for, "Why are you calling?"

Puck decided to be honest, "Guess I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh," Kurt sounded understanding, "Okay…What do you want me to say so that you can get off?"

"I…huh?" Puck looked at the phone, disbelieving, until he realized that Kurt couldn't see him.

"You do want me to talk dirty to you so that you can get off, don't you?" He brought the phone back to his ear just in time to hear Kurt's confident question.

"No!" He denied immediately, and then thought better, "Not that it isn't a good idea and we should totally do it sometime, but maybe later, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Kurt sounded a little less sure of himself now.

"I'm sure, Kurt," Puck laughed softly, "I'm still completely dressed. I didn't call for that. If I ever call you just for phone sex I promise I'll start with something really corny and stupid, okay?"

"Like what?" Kurt asked, and there was a hint of laughter in his voice that had Puck relaxing, "Just so I don't get confused again."

"Something like 'What are you wearing?' or 'Talk dirty to me.' or something like that."

"Those are horrible," Kurt giggled.

"Told you they would be." He was glad it was feeling more relaxed now.

"Yes, you did," Kurt agreed, then got quiet for a long moment.

"Kurt, you still with me?" Puck asked.

"I am," Kurt answered, "I have to ask you something."

"So, shoot."

"Last night, when we were…"

"Having sex?"

"Yes, that."

"What about it?" Puck knew where this was going and was a little nervous. He felt his breath hitch in his chest a little.

"You called me babe. You've never called me anything like a term of affection before. I…"

"Kurt, I…" Puck tried to interrupt. Kurt didn't let him.

"I liked it. A lot. But, I'm scared that I liked it too much, Noah. When we started all of this I know we agreed that…but now…I can't let you break my heart, Noah." Kurt sounded so scared and impossibly young.

Puck took a deep breath. He hadn't expected to have this conversation so soon. He didn't know how to approach it. Too much, too little, and he would lose Kurt. Too fast, too slow. Too soon, not soon enough. All of the possibilities were starting to make his head spin. He actually had to remind himself to breathe before he could answer.

"Kurt...I don't want to hurt you. And I'm not planning on it. I…Maybe when we started all of this it didn't mean anything, but now…" He had a sudden inspiration, "How about a picnic?"

"What?" Puck could hear Kurt's disbelief and hope over the phone.

"A picnic. You and me. Tomorrow. I'll pick you up. You bring a blanket and something to drink and I'll provide the food. We can talk about this and whatever else you want to talk about. I just feel like we shouldn't try to do it over the phone. Sound okay?"

"Sounds great," Kurt agreed, "Noon?"

"Perfect. The weather's supposed to be good," Puck sighed in relief, glad he had kind of dodged the bullet for one more day and Kurt was still sounding happy. He had kind of pushed them from fuck buddies into maybe something more without giving them an actual definition. He figured that was good enough for now, "So…what are you wearing?"

Kurt laughed long and hard and had Puck grinning from ear to ear, "Are you serious, Noah?"

"Not really," Puck chuckled quietly.

"Good. I better get going. If we're going out tomorrow I need to finish my homework tonight."

"All right," Puck agreed, "I'll see you tomorrow at noon."

"Goodnight, Noah."

"Goodnight, Kurt."

He set the phone on his bedside table and smiled softly up at the ceiling, "I have a date with Kurt Hummel." He whispered the words to the quiet and the stars that were just starting to come out. Somehow the words made it easier to breathe. He fell asleep an hour later with the smile still on his face.