Love is Suicide
folder
M through R › The Mighty Boosh
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,311
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › The Mighty Boosh
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,311
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own The Mighty Boosh, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Five: Insanity and a Chilling Resolution
A/N: another update! (despite the distinct lack of reviews) - oh well, hope those who are reading do like! :)
…But then I start hearing voices.
Voices that cast doubt on mine and Howard’s relationship, remind me of all of my imperfections – magnified ten and a half times – but worst of all, bring back all of my insecurities.
“You’re so thick,” They say to me while in bed at night. “You’re ugly and small and will never live up to anyone’s expectations.”
I become depressed again, and become introverted into my mind. I still talk to Howard, and keep the front of happiness up, but Howard never realises that I cry myself to sleep at night, instead of self harming.
Howard goes out all day on a Monday with Lester and his jazz friends, so today I’m alone. I try to concentrate on writing songs, writing music, watching TV, anything to keep my mind away from the voices, keep me occupied. It doesn’t work. They plague me every minute, bombarding me with terrible insults and planting paranoid thoughts into my mind.
“Howard doesn’t really want you. He’s only with you out of pity cos no one else wants you. He hates you cos you hold him back from reaching his potential and YOU’RE worthless! He said talk to him when you have a problem, well why aren’t you now?”
I moan and cry out, “Shut up! Shut UP!”… But the voices carry on relentlessly,
“It’s because you know he hates you, isn’t it? You know he wouldn’t do anything for you really cos you’re so repulsive! He’s worth fifty of you and why is he even bothering putting himself out to look after you?
I start sobbing. “No, it can’t be true, please, it isn’t true, he loves me, he does it because he cares, he told me…”
“Well he’s too good for you. You don’t deserve him, you don’t deserve anyone. You should have DIED when you cut your wrists two years ago! You don’t deserve to live!”
The voices reach an unbearable crescendo in my head. I cover my ears, trying to shut it out and, bundled up in a ball on the sofa, I weep and weep until I can’t cry any more.
At that point I reach a resolve. I suddenly feel a strange calm and feel a weight lift from me, one that has been there for a very long time.’
“Soon, Howard.” I smile. “Soon, you’ll be free of the burden I’ve been putting on you for the last two years.”
A/N:Sorry, tis a short chapter again, but the next few are pretty long by my standards, i promise!
…But then I start hearing voices.
Voices that cast doubt on mine and Howard’s relationship, remind me of all of my imperfections – magnified ten and a half times – but worst of all, bring back all of my insecurities.
“You’re so thick,” They say to me while in bed at night. “You’re ugly and small and will never live up to anyone’s expectations.”
I become depressed again, and become introverted into my mind. I still talk to Howard, and keep the front of happiness up, but Howard never realises that I cry myself to sleep at night, instead of self harming.
Howard goes out all day on a Monday with Lester and his jazz friends, so today I’m alone. I try to concentrate on writing songs, writing music, watching TV, anything to keep my mind away from the voices, keep me occupied. It doesn’t work. They plague me every minute, bombarding me with terrible insults and planting paranoid thoughts into my mind.
“Howard doesn’t really want you. He’s only with you out of pity cos no one else wants you. He hates you cos you hold him back from reaching his potential and YOU’RE worthless! He said talk to him when you have a problem, well why aren’t you now?”
I moan and cry out, “Shut up! Shut UP!”… But the voices carry on relentlessly,
“It’s because you know he hates you, isn’t it? You know he wouldn’t do anything for you really cos you’re so repulsive! He’s worth fifty of you and why is he even bothering putting himself out to look after you?
I start sobbing. “No, it can’t be true, please, it isn’t true, he loves me, he does it because he cares, he told me…”
“Well he’s too good for you. You don’t deserve him, you don’t deserve anyone. You should have DIED when you cut your wrists two years ago! You don’t deserve to live!”
The voices reach an unbearable crescendo in my head. I cover my ears, trying to shut it out and, bundled up in a ball on the sofa, I weep and weep until I can’t cry any more.
At that point I reach a resolve. I suddenly feel a strange calm and feel a weight lift from me, one that has been there for a very long time.’
“Soon, Howard.” I smile. “Soon, you’ll be free of the burden I’ve been putting on you for the last two years.”
A/N:Sorry, tis a short chapter again, but the next few are pretty long by my standards, i promise!