Deceptions, Lies, and Butterflies

John had been sent back to Sydney. His walkabout was not to be. He had returned to his hotel room and was furious. He had saved up for a long time and waited so long to go on this trip for what? To be rejected? "Who do they think they are!?" John shouted to no one. "Who are they to tell me what I can't do!?"

Wheeling himself over to his bed, he picked up the walkabout brochure and flung it across the room screaming in frustration. "Why do you keep doing this to me!?" he exclaimed, pounding his fists on his chair. Tears were now slipping down John's face, as he placed his head in his hands.

In the next room Melissa heard the commotion. She was alarmed, as she knew John wasn’t due back from his walkabout for several days. She leaned closer to the connecting door in an effort to better hear the voice coming from his room. That was when she realized it was indeed him she was hearing. Obviously something had gone wrong. She tentatively knocked on the connecting door, calling out his name. “John? Are you okay? John, please, open the door.”

His head jerking up, John realized Stacy was knocking on the door. He was mortified. "No," he replied. "I just... I need to be alone." He felt slightly guilty for having said that, but didn't know how he could face Stacy at this time. He knew in the past he would have just picked up the phone to call her, but now things were different. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel sorry for him. Perhaps he had made a mistake inviting her on this trip, after all.

Melissa rested her head against the door. “Will you at least talk to me? You don’t have to open the door, but please tell me what’s wrong.”

Wiping the tears from his face, John then wheeled himself over to the door. He knew he was being foolish and should swallow his pride. She seemed to care about him, if nothing else and he knew he wasn't being fair to her. John unlocked the door and pulled it open. "I'm sorry," he said, before turning around and heading back across the room.

Melissa was grateful that he had opened the door. It seemed silly to think that she cared about him after such a short time, but she did. There was just something about him that had worked its way under her skin. She entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. “John, what happened? Why are you back so soon?”

With a heavy sigh, John replied, "They wouldn't let me go." He ran a hand wearily across his face. "Said I lied about my 'condition,' " he muttered. ”My condition?" he said with bitterness in his voice. "As if I have some kind of disease."

Melissa didn’t know what to say. She had indeed wondered about how he would complete the walkabout but had not voiced her concerns to him. When he talked about it on the plane he was too excited for her to bring him down. “John, I’m so sorry. I know how much this meant to you.”

"Yeah," John replied, running his hand over his head. "Are you hungry?" he asked, wheeling himself over to the phone. He wasn't terribly hungry, but he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I could order room service," he offered.

“John…” She wanted to find out more about what happened but could tell he didn’t want to discuss it. “Would it be too awful if I just wanted some dessert?”

"No," he replied. "Of course not." In fact, he thought it sounded like a good idea for him, as well. "What would you like?" he asked. Picking up the menu for room service he held it out to her.

“Mmmm, cheesecake. I’m a sucker for it.” She laughed and took the menu. “Oh, they have too many toppings to choose from. I don’t know if I want chocolate or cherry. You decide.”

"You could have one of each," John suggested. "I'm going for a hot fudge sundae," he said, finally allowing himself to smile. "So, how about it? Would you like a slice of each?" he asked. "My treat."

“One of each?!? I’ve already eaten so much since we got here that I’m going to be dieting for months when we get back.” She returned his smile and suggested, “How about I get the cherry and just get to have a bite of your hot fudge?”

"Alright," John said, with a slight laugh. He then picked up the phone and placed their order. "Should be about 15 minutes," he said, hanging up the receiver.

Melissa was glad to see that his mood had lightened just a bit. “Hot fudge and cherry cheesecake. You may never get rid of me.”

John was now next to Melissa, where she sat on the bed. Reaching over, he picked up one of her hands and gave it a squeeze. "Please forgive my attitude earlier," he said quietly. "I know you were only trying to help."

She felt her heart beat a bit faster at his touch. Swallowing hard she replied, “You don’t have to apologize.” She reached out to take his other hand, not able to look in his eyes. She couldn’t let herself develop any feelings for him. In a few days they would be home and she would never see him again. “Please tell me what happened with the walkabout.”

Melissa's touch felt nice to John. He had noticed her downcast look and was about to say something, when she brought up their previous conversation. "There's nothing else to tell," he responded. He knew it sounded vague, but there really wasn't any more to it. "They simply wouldn't let me go," John finally continued. It was now his turn to cast his glance downward. "Said I couldn't handle it," he muttered.

“They’re wrong. I don’t think there is anything you can’t do.”

Glancing back up, John's smile returned. "Thank you," he replied quietly. "Perhaps you should have gone with me and convinced them." He laughed lightly.

She met his eyes with her own, wishing that things were different. She longed to tell him the truth about who she was but knew that telling him now would be a mistake, especially considering the events of the day. “I wish I had been there for you.”

His smile broadening, John said, "Thank you," once more. With a slight shrug, he added, "I suppose it wasn't meant to be this time." Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Room service," someone called from the other side.

Melissa jumped up, before John could move and answered the door. She placed their deserts on a nearby table. "Come and get it," she said with a smile, before sitting down.

John made his way to the table pulling up to a spot next to her. As they were enjoying their desserts he scooped a bite of ice cream, but rather than eat it himself, he held it out to Melissa.

Melissa was surprised when John offered her a bite of his hot fudge sundae. She had been partially teasing about sharing but was delighted when he made the offer. As she took the proffered bite she felt a bit of fudge slip from the corner of her mouth.

"I'll get that for you," John said, leaning forward to wipe her face with his napkin.

When his hand brushed her cheek Melissa closed her eyes, turning her face so that John’s hand was cupping her cheek. She felt a small sigh escape her lips.

Without a second thought, John tilted her face towards his. Closing his own eyes, he brushed his lips against hers.

Melissa leaned in to not only welcome his kiss but to return it as well. Any hesitancy faded, as each got lost in the moment. One kiss led to another as their passion increased. At that point Melissa didn't care about anything other than the connection she felt with John; nothing else mattered.

Losing himself in each kiss, all John's troubles melted away. As he kissed her, he could taste a mixture of hot fudge, cherry cheesecake, and something that was unique to only her. John pulled her closer to him and now had his mouth near her ear. "Thank you, Stacy," he whispered softly, pulling her into an embrace.

Melissa stiffened in his arms. His words reminded her that she was still lying to him. He thought he was with Stacy; he didn’t even know that Melissa existed. He was with the wrong woman. She pulled back and fought the tears stinging her eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t…”

John felt her tense up. As Melissa pulled away he noticed the tears filling her eyes. Reaching up, he caressed her cheek. "It's okay," he said. Did she think she was leading him on and feared he wanted more, but she couldn't give him more? While he certainly would have liked more, he was in no hurry. "I'm just happy you're here with me," John finally added. Giving her a warm smile he brushed her cheek once more.

She knew it wasn’t okay and as long as he thought she was Stacy it wouldn’t be. Tears rolled down Melissa’s face as she looked down; she couldn’t look him in the eye. She whispered, “Please…” She didn’t know if she was asking him to stop or asking him to continue. Conflicting emotions filled her.

John lifted her chin, so she was looking at him. Why was she so upset? "Stacy? What's wrong?" he asked her gently, wiping the tears from her face.

“I just… I can’t be who you want me to be. I’m not who you want me to be.”

Shaking his head, John said, "Stacy, I don't want you to be anyone. I want you to just be yourself." He was quite sure she thought he wanted her to be Helen, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. It was true he had always fantasized that she looked like Helen, but he always knew the difference. He knew she wasn't the same person. And now, especially that he'd gotten to know her in person, he didn't want to think of Helen, only her.

Every time John said her name, said Stacy’s name, it felt like a knife twisting in Melissa’s heart. If he knew the truth he would hate her, and that was the last thing she wanted. She wanted him to return the affection that she felt for him, not for him to hate her. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and just pretend that she was Stacy that she was everything he wanted her to be. She had to make a decision - either tell him the truth now and lose him, or keep up the pretense of being Stacy and lose him when they returned home and he discovered the truth then. When she looked in his eyes she made her decision. She may not have him once they got back to LA but she could have him now, in Australia. She looked at him and asked boldly, "Kiss me again."

She didn't have to ask twice. John pulled Melissa back toward him, kissing her deeply. They remained embraced for a few more moments, their deserts long forgotten. However, something was nagging at him in the back of his mind. He couldn't help hearing her words repeated that she couldn't be who he wanted her to be. Although he had assured her he wasn't looking for anything but her, he had to wonder if she truly believed him. They were going to spend a few more days together in Sydney. In fact, their time together had been extended, due to the walkabout falling through.

John decided then and there that he would show her that it was her he wanted not some figment of his imagination or even to replace someone who was long gone. Until then, however, he didn't want to take advantage of what they had. Sitting back, he gazed into Melissa’s eyes. "There's no need to rush things," he said, caressing her cheek. "We still have a few more days before we head home. I plan on savoring every moment," he continued, with a smile.

Melissa smiled back. She also wanted to savor their time together, but for different reasons. She knew it would be short-lived. “I had planned on ordering up a movie tonight and just staying in. There’s a great movie on that I’ve really wanted to see; it is kind of a chick-flick. But I’d love it if you’d join me.”

"I'd like that," John replied, his smile widening. He knew he had been taking a huge chance meeting her, but was very happy he had. He was also thrilled beyond belief that she had accepted. And now that they had gotten to know each other, he felt like the luckiest man in the world. It didn't hurt that she seemed to be interested in him, as well. He knew she had some doubts, but he would wash those doubts away. Yes, he was determined now that destiny had been the reason he was not meant to go on that walkabout. "Did you want to go back to your room or watch it here?" John finally asked.

“Just let me run and change and we can watch it here. That is if you don’t mind me crashing on your bed to watch the movie.” Melissa could think of nothing she’d like more than to curl up in his arms and just be with him.

"Not at all," John responded. The thought of holding her in his arms made him feel warm inside. "Take your time," he added. "I'll be waiting." He smiled at her again.

Melissa closed the door between the rooms so that she could get more comfortable. She chose an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. The shirt was so long that it covered the shorts and almost looked like she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. It wasn’t sexy, but it was all she had. She ran a brush through her hair as she thought about the turn of events. When this whole thing had started she had thought simply to escape to Australia. She never in her wildest dreams imagined she would develop feelings for her traveling companion, yet she was. She ignored the little voice in her head that kept telling her how wrong she was for doing what she was and got ready to go back to John's room.

After Melissa left the room, John decided he should change, as well. Changing out of the clothes he had intended to wear on the walkabout, he slipped on a plain white t-shirt and his pajama bottoms. Going into the bathroom he brushed his teeth. After he rinsed his mouth, he stopped to look at himself in the mirror. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. Making his way back into the room he got comfortable on the bed and waited for Melissa to return.

When she walked in she saw him sitting on his bed. She couldn’t help but smile at him as he waited for her. With just a t-shirt on the muscles in his arms were much more noticeable, as was the little pudge that he had around his middle. Mel thought that he was perfect, little pudge and all. In fact, she wished she had something nicer than just an old tee, but it would have to do.

Glancing toward Melissa as she came back into the room, John smiled. He noticed her change of clothes and thought at first that she only had on the long t-shirt, but as she walked he saw a pair of shorts peeking out from underneath. She was beautiful no matter what she wore. "Come on over," John said, patting the spot beside him. She went to the bed and snuggled up next to him, delighting in his scent. John was pleasantly surprised when she cozied up to him. Putting an arm around her, he reached for the remote with his other hand and flipped on the TV.

“Mmmm, this is nice. I’m glad you’re here.” Melissa rested her head on his chest as the movie started.

John replied, by placing his other arm around her and pulling her closer. He too was glad she was there.

While the movie played Melissa found she couldn’t stay focused on it. She enjoyed the feeling of being wrapped in John’s arms too much to worry about the romantic angst of the two main characters. She was so relaxed that she didn’t realize she was beginning to doze in his arms.

Holding her in his arms felt so natural to John. So right. He hadn't dated many women since he had been in the wheelchair and felt very lucky to have this opportunity with her. Would she want to continue seeing him after they returned to LA? Or would she forget all about him upon their return. God! He hoped not. John realized just how crazy he felt about her. And not the Stacy he had gotten to know on the phone. Not Stacy as Helen. No, she seemed much different. Better somehow. He actually thought he might be falling in love with her. When the movie had reached the end, John glanced down to see she had fallen asleep in his arms. "Stacy?" he said quietly. However, she did not stir. He didn't mind the thought of her staying the night with him and certainly wouldn't take advantage of her. However, he didn't want her to think he should have woken her to give her that option. "Stacy?" he said once more.

The pleasant feeling Melissa had shattered at his words. “John, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I guess… I guess I’ll go back to my own room.” She wanted to stay with him but felt too guilty to do so. Although she had said the words, her body stayed put. She couldn’t seem to make herself move away from him.

"You're welcome to stay here," John found himself saying. "But only if you want," he quickly added. "I promise to behave," he said with a playful smile.

His smile was what did Melissa in. Rather than get up she snuggled closer, pulling the edge of the blanket around them. The sound of his heartbeat combined with the soft tones of his breathing soon lulled her to sleep.