Within Me

Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17 (this chapter...PG)
Warnings: Rape, violence, angst. At least two of three in this chapter. Maybe all three.

This is going to get confusing. I'm so sorry, but please bear with me. We have thoughts of Barnabas and Anna, thoughts of Sam and Dean, and then the talking will just be Dean and Barnabas for the most part. I've basically left Dean and Barnabas in charge. Dean will still be controlled, but in a nicer way.

Anna watched them explore the basement and tried to will Dean to look where she needed him to, but she was too weak. She had also influenced him quite a bit when he was outside of the house as well. That had drained her. It had been so long since they'd had people around to pull energy from that she'd forgotten to pace herself.

She entered Dean's mind slowly, seeking a place of comfort and relief from Barnabas's constant darkness. The feelings that flowed through her nearly made her reveal herself to him just to tell him to run, but she chose not to. These two were different. They hadn't come with any false hopes. They knew she and Barnabas were there and they meant to rid the house of them. She had to see things through.

She remembered the women she'd possessed over the years. None of them were open to accept her warnings. None of them could sense her the way she knew this man did. For a moment she wished she could stay where she was forever and just bask in the love that Sam had for Dean, but she knew it wasn't possible and that love would never really be hers.

As the men walked up the stairs she caught the glimpse of a shadow out of the corner of Dean's eye and hoped that he saw it as well. He did.

"Sammy. Did you see that?"

"What?"

"I don't know. It was like a shadow. Something's watching us."

"That's not really what I want to hear."

"It's Barnabas."

"How do you know?"

"He likes to watch...he wants to see what he's going to get before he takes it."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You're starting to sound...deep. It doesn't fit you." He smirked.

Dean punched him lightly in the arm when they were at the top of the stairs. "Punk."

The change happened so fast that Sam never knew what hit him. One second he thought it was funny and the next a rage overtook him and stripped him of all control. His fist hit out so hard that he was scared he'd broken Dean's jaw. Worst was the fact that he'd hit him hard enough for him to lose his balance and he watched as Dean started to fall backward.

Sam panicked and tried to reach out to grab him, but couldn't move. He was horrified. He couldn't even yell. He just watched as his brother tried to get a hold of something and failed.

Dean's cry as he toppled down the stairs made Sam's vision seem to shrink until he no longer felt like he was seeing things clearly. He felt like he was in a room where he could only watch what was happening through a very small window.

Sam walked down the stairs slowly, watching Dean as he tried to get up. "Don't you ever touch me that way again..."

Dean just glared up at Sam. "What the hell? You son of a bitch!" He started to stand when Sam's foot kicked out and nailed him right in the stomach.

Dean just started coughing. Be quiet and stay down. Dean couldn't hear the thought, but he did get the feeling that he should be quiet and stay where he was. It was as if it was his own decision and he chose to follow it.

Sam looked at his watch. "It won't be long now. Get upstairs and get ready for bed."

Dean was confused. It was only dinner time, but he knew he needed a way to get past whatever was happening to Sam. "Yeah, of course." He figured Sam was possessed, but couldn't decide quite what to do about it yet. Since he
wasn't possessed he knew that he had to find a way to free Sam and that meant that he had to find a woman to help him defeat Barnabas.

He got upstairs and waited until Sam was halfway up the second set of stairs before booking ass out the door. Again he could swear he heard someone scream, NO!, but he couldn't wait to find out if it was real or not. He ran as fast as he could to the Impala and got in. He fired up the engine and looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway. He didn't move to follow and Dean was grateful as he sped away.

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Mae's crowd was just leaving when Dean burst through the door. He muttered, "Excuse me" as much as possible before finding Mae.

She looked him up and down as he tried to catch his breath and shook her head. "He attacked you." She reached up with a napkin to soak up the blood that had flowed from a wound to his head that had gone unnoticed and held it for him to see. "You're bleeding." She touched his chin lightly to sigh at the swelling along one side of his face.

"I need a woman."

She smirked. "Honey, I've heard of men needing a lot of things after a good beating, but that's new for me."

"No, I think Barnabas has Sam, but I wasn't possessed by Anna. I need a woman so she can possess her and I can exorcise Barnabas while he's busy."

"I can't think of too many women who would really go for that."

"I won't let it get that far. I swear I'll do whatever I can to save her. Do you know someone?"

I guess I could go with you."

Dean looked shocked and then shook his head. "No. I'm not taking that risk."

"Well I'm not about to ask people I know to do something I'm not willing to do. Anyway...I trust you."

Dean nodded, relenting. "Alright...let's go."

"No. First you sit down and let me tend to you. Plus I want to get that picture of Bess. Maybe she'll watch over us."

Dean watched her walk into the back room and frowned. "We can hope."

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The trip had taken just over two hours after Mae had fed him and tended to him and talked to him to make sure she understood what Dean was going to do.

They had driven the Impala up only part way and then walked the rest, hoping to catch Sam off guard.

The front door was wide open and Dean stepped inside with his shotgun at the ready and looked around. He didn't like the idea of shooting his brother with rock salt, but he knew he might not have a choice. He couldn't let anything happen to Mae.

He walked in a bit further and then motioned to Mae to follow him. He turned to hold his hand out to her just in time to see the door slam right in her face. "Mae!" He tugged at the door and couldn't budge it. Looking out of the window he could see her get up from where she'd been knocked backwards. She scrambled to the door and tried to move it to help him, but the door wasn't giving.

"Where were you?"

Dean turned to see Sam glaring at him.

"I went into town."

"What have I told you about going into town at night? Look at the time!"

Dean glanced over at the mantle clock in the next room. 8:10 pm....Wait... He started thinking of the times the others had died. They were at different times, though. He tried to piece it together and finally figured it out. All of the couples had died between 5:30 pm and 9:30 pm at night. Maybe there was a window of opportunity and they were running out of time. Shit...I've got well over an hour to stop this from happening. He still wasn't quite sure what was happening. With Mae outdoors the deaths couldn't happen. He was still trying to figure it out when the slap pulled him into the here and now.

"Don't wander on me, bitch. It's not like you."

Anna was trying desperately to strengthen herself. She hadn't expected Dean to run out the door leaving her to wait even longer. With Barnabas inside of his host already he was draining more and more from the house than she could. She wanted to enter into the game and play her part, but she couldn't do it and Dean would be lost to Sam once Barnabas found out.

Barnabas waited and waited for the same old words to leave Dean's mouth. He should have said, "I'm so sorry, Barnabas! Please don't hurt me!" Instead, Dean just glowered at Sam. "Look, I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but it's really starting to piss me off!"

Sam grinned. "Oh no...oh no no no..." He started to laugh. "This is just too much. Anna?"

"No, you stupid shit! You don't get Anna. She doesn't have anyone to trap this time. It's just me."

Inside of his own mind, Sam was estatic. At least Dean was able to keep control if he couldn't.

"So it's just you and me, is it?" Barnabas grinned with Sam's mouth. "It just makes it that much sweeter."

He grabbed Dean and punched him. Blow after blow rained down on him and he couldn't seem to fight Sam off. He began to think that trying to fight Sam while possessed by an evil piece of shit spirit was a bad idea.

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Mae pounded on the windows, but didn't seem to make even a thud on the surface. She watched helplessly as Sam beat Dean bloody. Finally she did all she knew how to do. She looked at the picture of Bess she had removed from her pocket and kissed it gently. "Take care of him if you can." She slid the picture under the front door, pleased to see that it went through and then knelt down to pray.

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Dean managed to get one kick in to Sam's knee, causing him to stumble backwards. Dean heard a crash of glass and then a loud thud. He wiped the blood from his eyes and looked at Sam who was lying on the ground. The house had changed and the furnishings were old. What was odder than that was the fact that there was late afternoon sun streaming through the windows. Dean looked down at himself, scared he'd find himself in a dress, but it was just him and his jeans. That's when he looked up to see what had taken Sam out. It was a young girl and she was standing and looking down at the shards of glass from the large vase she'd thrown at Sam's head.

Dean studied her for a moment, trying to figure out where he knew her from. Then it hit him. "Bess?"

The girl looked up at Dean and nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I know I told you I'd wait outside, but once I saw he was home I knew I had to warn you." She shook her hand which had a bit of blood on it from when the vase had shattered.

Dean reached out. "You're bleeding!"

"Don't mind that! You'd best get upstairs and get that money you hid."

"No, let's just leave!" Dean no longer knew why he was saying the things he was, but he felt they were right somehow. "Money is worthless to a corpse."

"Money like what you got is going to be needed when that babe comes! You have to run!"

Dean's mouth fell open. "A baby...so she was pregnant."

"He must have hit you hard this time. He's made you lose all the others. Don't let him get this one, too."

Dean just nodded. He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to leave anyway. He ran upstairs and opened the door to the bedroom that Sam had so carefully decorated. There were no blood stains and the bed was still perfectly made, but this time with crisp white sheets and a handmade quilt.

He looked around the room. "Okay...where do I look?"

The vanity! There's a secret drawer underneath on the right side!

He was shocked as the thought came to him and even more shocked that it came to him in the form of a woman's soft voice. "Okay...weird moment." He searched underneath the vanity and finally found the drawer. The wad of money and velvet pouch with the jewelry made him feel a sense of relief. He headed for the door and then stopped as Sam walked in.

"Sam, please...you have to let me go."

"You're not going anywhere. Tell me where you were last night..."

"I went to see Mae! We just had a nice visit. That's all."

"Is that who hit me downstairs?"

Dean shook his head. "No..."

"Then who was it?"

"I don't know."

Sam grabbed Dean's chin and pulled him close. "Don't you lie to me!" He took his other hand and hit Dean again. "Maybe I'll just go find who your little friend is and teach her a lesson, huh? Would you like that?"

Dean shook his head, desperate to save Bess from being killed, but also knowing that Bess was already long dead. He couldn't seem to break out of the play he'd been cast in. "No! Please...I'll do whatever you want. Just...leave her alone. She didn't know and I already sent her away!"

Sam knelt down next to Dean and caressed his cheek. "You know that I love you, right?"

Dean looked away. Please, Sammy...don't look at me and say that. Not now. Not when you're really him... "Yeah..."

Sam tilted Dean's face up to look at him and kissed him softly. "Tell me..."

"I love you, too, Sammy."

"No! You will call me Barnabas...do you hear me?"

Dean shook his head. "Sammy will hear me. He'll break free. I know he will. I love him so much that I was able to keep Anna in the background, but you caught Sam off guard. Give him a minute and he'll fight you."

"Sorry. That's not happening...what is going to happen is that I'm going to kill you and then Sam is going to walk out of here. No crying and begging for you to wake up and no inability to live with himself! Damn, I'm so sick of that! I just need someone to leave!"

Things started to make sense to Dean. "So you rape and kill these women...like you did to Anna..."

Sam just smiled. "Yes, but Anna died so pretty. She kicked and scratched. All the others just took it."

Dean thought back to the feelings of being quiet and staying down. "She was with them. She took them over and blocked them from having to see what was being done to them, didn't she? She stopped them from having the death she did and she stopped you from enjoying it." He smiled. "She's controlling you now, not the other way around."

Sam's face contorted in anger. "You shut your mouth!" He slapped Dean hard, but Dean was not about to back down even when Anna nudged him to not take the chance of upsetting Barnabas further.

Dean spit a bit of blood out onto Sam's shoe. "So then what happens? You let these men come back to their senses to...no, do you let them watch? Is it like what's going on with me and Anna? You let them stay in the background watching themselves beat, rape, and kill the women they love and expect them to walk away like you wanted to. But you didn't. Why?"

"Those losers had everything. I freed them from the bitches who were disrespecting them. I freed them so they could free me! And every one of them gave in to their guilt. Every one of them rejected the life I had given them." Sam's face was red and he had begun to rage.

"So their deaths had nothing to do with the curse of this house. They chose to die because of what you did to the women they loved while using their bodies..." Dean shook his head. "It makes so much sense now."

"This one doesn't love you enough to care! He's going to leave and I'm going to go with him!"

Dean held back the fact that Barnabas wasn't going anywhere because he was bound to the house, but figured he wouldn't listen anyway. He was obsessed. "How did you die?"

"This stops now." Sam's eyes changed suddenly and the fear that Sam must have been feeling showed through.

"Sammy?"

Sam nodded his head. "Dean...please get out of here. Don't let him hurt you! Just leave me!"

Dean tried to catch his breath as his fear for Sam took over. "No, I'm going to get you out of here. Hold on, okay?" He got up and moved toward Sam. "Stay strong and we're going to get out of here together." He held out his hand. "You're going to be okay. I knew you could beat this."

Sam smiled, trusting Dean totally and then took his hand. "Okay, Dean. Whatever you say."

The two started walking hand in hand toward the bedroom door, feeling relieved that it was all over.

"Dean?"

Dean stopped and looked at Sam. "Yeah, Sammy?"

"You're more gullible than I thought." Dean found his arm twisted behind his back so quickly that he didn't even know what had happened until he was face first into the floor. "Now the fun's going to start..."

All that was left for Dean to do was pray that when he was dead, Sam would find the bastard's bones and burn them into hell.

TBC...