Unavoidable Truths

Chapter 5

It wasn't until after brunch and many questioning looks being cast back and forth between Don and Charlie, that the younger brother cornered the elder.

"It's alright, you know. It doesn't upset me," Charlie said, the minute Alan left to spend the afternoon at the golf course.

Don stiffened, his back was to Charlie as he looked out the window and watched their dad drive away.

"It's not alright, Charlie. In fact, it's just plain terrible and I can't believe you would think otherwise." Don turned back to face his brother, while he ran both hands through his hair in frustration.

"Don," Charlie got up from the couch and stood close to Don, "do you have a need to act on what you feel?"

"God, no!" Don jerked away, his eyes wide in horror.

"Then... What you feel is fine. Yes, it may be wrong by today's world view, but feelings are inherently never wrong, it's only how a person deals with them that potentially makes it so." Charlie smiled in understanding, hoping to convey that things really were okay between them. "Honestly Don, all I ask is that you don't let them interfere with us and with work, and you and I will be good. Don't go freaking out on me every time some stray thought or emotion passes through you.

"I mean, I can handle more the thought of you loving me and still treating me like a brother, than you freaking out and pulling away or pushing me out of your life. Don't push me away again, Don. I don't think I could bear it."

"Yeah well, I don't see how you'll be able to stay around me. Won't you misinterpret a pat on the back or read more into a glance or a look? Especially knowing that I... That I love you, that I am in love with you?" Don turned to look at Charlie face on and square in the eyes.

Charlie sighed. "Don, didn't you just say you had no compulsion to act on these feelings?" He watched as Don jerked his head in agreement. "Then no, I'll assume that anything directed towards me is just a show of brotherly affection. Maybe this is me being naive, but if we both acknowledge and are aware of things, we can deal with the situations as they arise."

Don thought to himself that Charlie was looking at their situation with too much innocence and not enough caution. If they were in opposite places, he knew he'd be totally freaked out. He exhaled loudly and longly, as he tried to release as much tension that had invaded his body during the last hour. Don pushed away from the window and walked back to the couch, where he dropped his body wearily down onto it. "Okay, we'll play this your way for now. But please Charlie, for goodness sake, let me know if something I'm doing or saying makes you uncomfortable. Alright?"

"Alright, I promise."

---------------------------

As Don returned to work the next day, he reviewed the events of the weekend as he perused one cold case after another, many of them prior to his joining the Los Angeles branch. Flashes of memory of time spent with Charlie played inside his mind and as each one passed, the feelings he had of love and affection seemed to cement themselves and become more solid and real. He loved his brother and was in love with his brother and nothing seemed about to change it. And it terrified him on several levels; it made him question his morality and sexuality. If his brother was attractive to him, would other men be attractive too? He shook his head, thinking that wouldn't likely happen. He was already in his late 30s and never before had this happened, so it was almost safe to say that it would be an uncommon occurrence. Perhaps for once, he found someone attractive because he loved them.

Don sighed and twiddled with the pen in his hand. He was in love with Charlie and his brother had even noticed, no matter how hard he'd tried to keep it hidden. "Oh, God!" Charlie had noticed. If Charlie could notice something like this, what would his fellow co-workers find out and see, was the thought currently leaving his mind in a panic.

"Shit!" Dan expelled sharply.

"Don, everything okay?" He heard the questioning tones of Megan somewhere from the doorway. Don looked up sharply to his left and saw not only Megan, but David standing just outside his door.

"Yeah, everything's fine. What's up?" Don leaned back in his chair and forced himself to relax; he didn't want to give all the clues away on the first day.

Megan entered into the office, with David following on her heels. Both took seats and he wondered if something bad had happened. Don straightened back up, prepared for action. "Okay, you two, what is it?"

Megan looked at David and he gave her a quick nod. She turned back to Don and started her speech.

Don listened and a sense of dread filled him. He leaned his head on his hands and watched as the report in front of him blurred. They wanted to bring Charlie in on a cold case, a perfect case where his ability with numbers could maybe give them some new leads.

"Alright, but take the case to him and have him work on it when he has free time. Since the case is already five years old, a few days probably won't make much difference. If Charlie has anything to share, you two are his contacts and you can follow-up. If he needs anything, you get it for him. Just keep me in the loop."

"You got it, Don. So how are things going with your own pile of old news?" Megan asked with a grin.

"Bad enough. I just want to take out my gun and shoot holes through them. I've almost wishing someone would rob a bank. I hate this inactivity. Anyway, get out of here and see if you can run Charlie down at his office."

"See ya later, Don," both agents spoke as they left.

The team leader watched as his co-workers left his office and head to their separate cubicles, before leaving the main floor all together. His third member, Colby, was away on vacation, the lucky bastard. He'd been spared the inactivity and the cold cases. He was also somewhere tropical and relaxing on a white sandy beach with clear, blue waters stretching for miles in front of him and lots of bikini clad women to ogle. Part of Don wished he were in Colby's place, because then Don wouldn't have spent the weekend with his brother and wouldn't have had the life altering epiphany.

And with that thought, Don wandered down the path of bisexuality and why he couldn't have found one of his co-workers attractive. Why not David or Colby or even Coop? He knew from a woman's perspective that they were all handsome men. So why Charlie? Why the one man he should most definitely not have feelings for? Was it because he was already emotionally close to his brother? Had the last few cases, where his brother had been under some threat escalated things, brought everything to the fore? Was it Amita, and Charlie's constant questioning about what to do in regards to her that made him realize his brother is lovable and someone who desires love and a relationship?

Jesus, too many fucking questions and no clear answers as to why, he thought. Maybe he should request some time off and get away; try and wrap his head around everything. Two days was still to short a time to figure it all out. Don laughed to himself when the brief idea of getting Charlie to come up with an equation to explain the 'whys and ' crossed his mind. Though he didn't think an equation could solve matters of the heart.

TBC