Falling Into Grace

Faltering

_____________________________________________________________________
Paris/Kim Quarters

"You cook Dad?" Nico asked sitting down at the table. It was the
first night he'd be spending with his fathers.

"Yup" Harry said putting on the finishing touches before setting the
table.

"Helmboy says it's woman's work" Nico said wonderingly "Does that
make you a woman?"

"No" Harry said wishing Tom would watch what he said around Nico "It
just means I'm talented. Tom can't cook because he didn't want to
learn. My mother taught me. She would always say: Now Harry you don't
want to have to depend on a woman to eat for the rest of your life do
you?" Harry pitched his voice higher in a futile attempt to mimic his
mother.

Nico laughed at the near Soprano that was emitted from Harry's
mouth "Does she really sound like that?"

"Oh no. My mother has the softest sweetest voice in the world" Harry
said ruffling the boys hair "You really do resemble your mother"

"Does that mean 'I'm' a woman?" Nico asked after a moment.

"No" Harry laughed.

"Does that mean I look like a woman"

"No you look like a boy"

"Then what does it mean" Nico said leaning his chin on the table. It
brought the salt and pepper shakers to his eye level and he studied the many
colors of the spectrum the crystal created as it refracted the light.

"It means your beautiful. In a handsome guy kinda way" Harry
explained studying the said lights as they played across the boys
face. Harry thought he looked like an angel. But no matter how hard
he tried he couldn't find an ounce of Tom in him. The eyes the hair
the smile, was all Seven. His every facial expression, his every
movement, was reminiscent of his mother.

"Thank you Dad. You're beautiful too"
______________________________________________________________________
Janeway's Ready Room

"So how has it been going?" Janeway asked sipping her evening coffee.
Nekira was amazing with the stuff.

"Harry does a great job with him. But Tom tends to confuse him alot"
Seven said truthfully "He often comes home with questions about why
he says this or why he does this. But he enjoys the time he spends
with Harry. I don't believe he's spent time with Harry and Tom
together until tonight"

"They aren't doing things as a family?" Janeway questioned. Tom and
Harry always seemed like such a strong unit together. She was sure
that they'd make a secure relationship with the boy as a family. She
hoped she wasn't wrong in her presumption.

"No. He's either with Tom, or with Harry. If Tom picks him up Harry
might see him for a few moments before we come to take him to bed. Or
we'll drop him off with Harry whenever Nico wants to see him. Usually
Tom is off on the Holodec or working his second shift" B'Elanna said
frowning.

"Hmm. This may prove to be a problem. We should work on getting them
together as a family unit" Janeway though out loud.

"What are you going to do? Order them to spend time together?"
B'Elanna let the smart assed comment slip.

"Maybe Lt. that's all they need" the wheels began to turn in Janeways
head.
_____________________________________________________________________
Janeway Quarters

"Darling I'm home" Janeway dropped her outer tunic onto the couch as
she entered her quarters.

"You're late again. Another meeting for the newest family on board?"
Nekira came out of the bedroom drying her hair, with a towel.

"Yes, apparently Tom and Harry aren't as cohesive as I thought they
were. They haven't been spending time together with Nicodemus. He
with one or the other, but never both." Janeway sat down trying to
figure this out.

"Maybe they just need a length of time together to understand the
need for it" Nekira said sitting next to her wife.

Janeway inhaled the clean fresh scent of her wife as she muddled over
the newest revelation. "I shouldn't be bringing ships business into
my home. I should be leaving it outside those doors" Janeway groused.

"That would mean you leaving the Cap out outside"

"Yes. So."

"When I married you, I married all of you. Not just the Captain, not
just the Woman behind the Captain. I married Kathryn Janeway, woman,
friend and Captain. The whole you." Nekira snuggled up to Janeway.

Kathryn wrapped her wife in her strong arms, amazed that she'd found
this love. She'd barely noticed Nekira as an Ensign. When the death
of an officer had the young woman promoted, Janeway stood up and took
notice. The 'Efficiency Level' in Biometrics had risen by leaps and
bounds once Nekira was in charge. Janeway had been surprised when the
woman was less than reverant by her praise. She'd been hooked on
Nekira ever since.

"Kathryn" Nekira said from her haven.

"Yes Dear"

"Have you ever been attracted to Lt. Torres"

Janeway froze at the question.

"I wouldn't blame you if you were. She is a beautiful woman"

"A beautiful 'married' woman" Janeway corrected.

"She wasn't always married" Nekira advised.

"No she wasn't. And at one point, yes, I think I was attracted to
her. Then she had Seven and I had you, and you know the rest" Janeway
said wanting to get away from this subject.

"Your right. But she is a beautiful woman. I've heard Klingon women
are very passionate" Nekira said missing Janeway's point completely.

"I've heard that too" janeway said slowly.

"I wonder what she tastes like" Nekira said baiting her wife.

"Oh god" Janeway moaned. She then swore to herself she'd never be
late for dinner again.
______________________________________________________________________
Paris/Kim

"So she keeps hitting you for complimenting her" Harry said.

"Yes. Helmboy says that I kept crossing Taboo's. But she said 'butt'
first. I just asked her if she was going to kiss mine" Nico said all
innocence eating his ravioli.

"Well Nico kissing someone's butt isn't exactly a compliment" Harry
said sharply.

"But I heard my father. The other one. Tell Chakotay :
Congratulations you're the Captains official Buttkisser" Nico
shrugged "I must have heard wrong.

"Or he didn't say it be nice" Harry concluded.

"Why would he say something mean" Nico asked. His other father was
again absent.

"Maybe he was angry. People sometimes say mean things when they're
angry" Harry proposed quietly.

"Why don't you just say I'm an asshole Harry. That's what you really
mean isn't it" Tom's outraged voice came from the entrance of the
quarters.

"No it isn't Tom. I'd never say that about you" Harry stood from the
dinner table.

Nico stood too, afraid of the timber in his fathers voice. He
remembered the last time he'd heard him sound like that. He and his
mother had been arguing. It wasn't a very happy memory.

"You just did. I'm wrong. I'm angry. Come on Harry admit it. YOU
THINK I'M AN ASSHOLE!" Tom stormed through taking Harry by his
shoulders "If I'm so wrong why are you still with me"

"I don't know Tom. I really don't" Harry said pulling himself away
from Tom's hurting hands. He grabbeco aco and carried him out of the
quarters.

Tom stood silently, steaming.
______________________________________________________________________

Harry carried the boy up to Deck 3. The turbolift ride was silent as
he shook with emotions he didn't dare let out in front of the boy.

"Daddy where are we going?" Nico asked.

"I'm taking you to your Mama"

"Why"

"Because you need to be with them right now"

Nico tucked himself under Harry's chin and told himself not to cry.
His Daddy was sad, he d't l't like his Daddy sad.

For Harry it seemed like an eternity before he made it to Lanna and
Seven's quarters. He rang the admittance bell.

Moments later Seven answered the door. Harry shoved Nico into her
surprised embrace and fled.

Nico turned up to his mother and looked her directly in the eyes.

Seven noted his were large and scared.

"Mom what's an asshole"
______________________________________________________________________

Harry enterd his quarters angrily. Tom turned to him just as he got
past the couch.

"HOW DARE YOU! You have no right to take my time with my son away
from me" Tom grabbed Harry once again.

Harry shoved him off. "Your not fit to be with 'our' son right now
Tom"

"And who are you to judge my fitness?" Tom grabbed Harry again and
started to shake him "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME"

"I thought I was your friend and your partner" Harry's eyes began to
water.

"What" Tom growled "Are you sure you don't think your my father. You
judged me just like he did. Just like Seven and B'Elanna did. My son
won't even admit I'm his FATHER."

Harry began to cry in earnest now "I never judged you. You have one
chance Tom. ONE CHANCE, at having a life with your son. One chance at
proving that your not like your father. And your blowing it BIGTIME!"
Harry shoke him off a final time before reatreating to the bedroom
and sealing the doors.

Tom stood alone in the living room. Kicking himself mentally. Knowing
that Harry told the truth. That he might just have blown his only
chance at a family with his son. And he hated himself.
______________________________________________________________________
Well. I told you I hate the helmrat.