Heaven's a lie

A/N: I can't believe I finally updated. I have to give out a warning though: My POS computer crashed with
all my notes and stories so I have nothing. I didn't keep any notes.. All ideas I had are gone, so
I apologize if this sucks seriously, I just wanted to end this story so I could start some new ones. And ## Added 9/3/6 I decided to post 2 different endings. This is ending 1. I want you to decide which you like. Enjoy.

Warnings: Angst. Lots of angst. Het/Slash.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Voyager. I just decided to take the characters off the shelves, dust
them off and give them one hell of a ride No harm intended toward: writers, actors, editors, yadda..yadda. yadda.
You get the drift. No harm meant toward Lacuna coil for use of their lyrics. I just love their music.
Enough said!

Previously::
Tom...” you start to say, but I cut you off.

“Shut your mouth. I don’t need to hear another word from you. Now, you will leave, or I will have Tuvok escort you out.” I can’t stop the anger from voicing out.

I stare you down with hopefully cold blue eyes. I pray my eyes are not my betrayer. I can not back down. I have to let him see that I am serious. What ever we had, or possibility could have.. Is no more.

You played this little game, and lost.

Too bad you don’t feel the pain in you heart, like I do.

You continue to stare at me. I don’t really understand why.

So I hit my com badge.

Then you turn and leave.

Falling backwards on my bed, I start laughing.

Then the tears fall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am such a coward.
Hiding behind the rest of the crew.
I really tried to avoid coming here today, but the Captain had other plans.
She made it an order.
I offered to work in sickbay!
Sickbay!
And she refused.. Stating that due to my rank I should be here to show my respect.
Respect?!
I don't own him any respect of any sorts.
Doesn't she realize what this is doing to me?
Doesn't she realize how badly this man has hurt me?
Nor how much I love him?!
Oh, I forget myself. Of course not. She never knew, due to the fact that I was nothing more then
a simple fuck buddy.
I refuse to let the tears fall now. Refuse to let everyone in this room see what that bastard has brought me to.
It's been two months since I put my foot down in my quarters.
Since that time he has barely spoken to me unless in the on the bridge. He spends most of his time with her.
Bastard!
And now after such that short amount of time I am standing here watching this.
I truly meant nothing to him.
Because if I did, he would not be doing this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I now pronounce you man and wife." The Captain states.
"You may now kiss the bride."
I can not watch the man I love kiss his new bride, so I turn and exit the room.
Trying to keep myself in check, I make it to my quarters and collapse on my bed.
All my dreams were nothing more then fiction
Drawn into my delusional mind
Desire and heart took over to cause the immortal sin
My head missing every warning sign
I lay me down and try to sleep
Thinking of what might of once been
I Pray that the nightmares decide to keep
So that I can finally mend
But I truly see the truth in front of my eyes
Too up front of my face
No one can ever deny
I finally had a small taste of love. Just a taste.
As I fall apart into my pillow and give into the cries.
I tell myself, over and over again.
My heaven was nothing more then lies.

@@Q@ the Sad ending