Bitter Sweet

"This is a mess." Aphrodite stated glowering at her brother from
across the table. She surveyed the lone, very furious immortal as he
strode through the forest, for once not tripping over anything, and
turned back to Ares. "You broke him, now fix it." She stated "Before
one of us does." She added before flashing out to keep a closer
worried eye on Joxer.


Ares looked everywhere then directly at the Gods in front of him,
whose expressions ranged from angry, worried to severely displeased.
The last was being his mother who'd already given him an earful about
deceiving Joxer. He'd tried to explain he hadn't deceived just
neglected to mention a few details to his lover but she was having
none of it. Blaming him for Joxer running off with her grandchild
within him.


When Ares had heard his lovers shout he hadn't known what to expect
but the quiet, angry man before him hadn't been a consideration. Ares
had realised what had happened straight away and expected to be
shouted at or even attacked, those things he could handle and he'd
been ready to defend against.


His lover hadn't even raised his voice after his initial outburst. He
hadn't even glared. He'd looked angry and then resigned as Ares tried
to bluster his way out of it. Then he'd turned to Aphrodite and asked
her quietly to take him home.


Ares had only agreed to it because he'd though Joxer meant his home,
the one they were sharing but Aphrodite had taken him back to his
mortal village and had no choice but to leave him there. The vibes
she was getting from him was upsetting the baby and she'd returned to
Olympus to rest.


Ares had been prepared to go after Joxer and haul him back but Zeus
and Hera had stopped him, coldly demanding an explanation and
insisting that Joxer could be watched at all times. Even Zeus could
see the man needed time alone to sort his confusion out before he
dealt with Ares and so he'd brought him time. Detaining Ares in front
of them until Joxer had calmed down.


"I wasn't sure how to tell him." Ares admitted, it had been the thing
to do at first to sleep with Joxer and get him pregnant. But
somewhere along the line Joxer had become `lover' rather then
just `useful' and Ares had tried to put off the inevitable. He'd
tried to pretend none of it was happening, the creation of the symbol
which he still refused to acknowledge as his baby, tricking Joxer
rather then just seducing him and actually coming to like and care
for, rather then just lust, over the man who slept with him.


That was the problem, Ares was starting to actually give a damn about
Joxer rather then just carrying out his part in the prophecy. Even if
he couldn't see it, even if he hid it from himself.


He shrugged "He'll get over it, it'll take time yes, but he'll be a
god soon we have forever to work it out."


Hera looked ready to scream abuse at her son but a flash of light
signalling his Aunt Hestias arrival belayed her. Hestia looked
disappointed and tired. She offered Ares a small smile but her eyes
were serious.


"You may have forever Ares, you may not, but this isn't good for
Joxer or your baby." She sat down "Think about this for a moment, it
might be difficult for you but put yourself in his place. He's a good
boy, you know that."


She smiled fondly at Joxers image for a moment and looked back at
Ares "You've spent your entire life trying to be someone, been
bullied, pushed around even and there are only two things you can
rely on. Yourself and your faith." She looked at Ares
seriously "You're his god Ares, he's been trying to make himself
better to please you, now think how he feels now? He's thinking it
was all a waste of time and that he never was good enough. He thinks
you've lied to him Ares and used him for your own end. He doesn't
understand, all he knows is that his god has failed him."


Ares was shaken, he could see what she meant, he couldn't understand
it but he could see it and on some level the idea made him pause. He
wasn't sure why but he knew he needed to make things right, he didn't
even understand why, couldn't bring himself to admit the reasons.


He looked at the mirror ready to hear their ideas and frowned. The
mirror kept a constant watch on who it was ordered, even if the
person died it could follow them, but now it was blank "Where's
Joxer?"


***************


*One foot in front of the other, just keep moving, just get away,
don't think about him or what he's done to you. * Joxer thought to
himself as he strode grimly on. His stomach had been growling at him
for the last half an hour and he'd pushed the guilt he felt aside and
strode on. Now he was passed the stage of hunger and was starting to
feel tired. His rage had also died down to make way for hurt and
betrayal.


The one constant thing in Joxers life had been his unshakeable faith.
His faith that there was some big plan for him and that one day if he
tried hard enough he would become a warrior and make his everyone
proud. He laughed at the thought now.


Ares saw him as nothing more then a tool, an incubator for something
he obviously wanted no part in and deemed Joxer unworthy to be
consulted on. The laughable thing was Joxer would have agreed to it
if Ares had explained to him what was going on as Hera had tried to.
He would have agreed to anything to please his God, his lover and who
he thought was his friend.


Joxer could see how laughable the idea was now. Him, a mere mortal or
rather immortal courtesy of Ares, privy to knowledge that the gods
possessed, that involved him He really should have paid more
attention to the things Gabrielle had warned him of.


The problem was, even now Joxer didn't believe them true. That the
gods were fickle; they had no plans and were merely bored. The bored
part he could agree with to an extent but after staying with Ares, he
had to admit they all consulted with each other, sharing problems of
mortals out within their houses to find the best possible solution.
Joxer had realised that often it fell to Ares, Aethon or Apollo
strangely enough.


Ares and Aethon dished out war and famine, to curb some of the
population growth whilst Apollo dealt out plagues. Out of the three
Ares was seen as the best contender as his methods only involved a
small amount of innocents being killed whereas plague and famine
struck all and every.


Joxer sighed and came to a stop; he sat down musing to himself. He
was tired of being the butt of the jokes; his whole life had
practically been one. He'd loved Gabrielle and never been even
considered as being good enough for her. Not that she was necessarily
a bad person but she'd been too fixated on Xena and he'd never seen
that. His brothers cared him for but they had their own lives to lead
and the three rarely saw each other. He had no other family or
friends to speak of, save Xena who was busy trying defend everyone
and his parents who came under the heading `less said the better'.


He sighed, it wasn't just that he was unloved, it was more that no
one was bothered. It wasn't just that his parents didn't love him
they also viewed him as too much of a disappointment and so rarely
showed anything for him. Sort of the way Ares was now. The God might
not be being cruel to Joxer but he was indifferent, using him for his
own purposes; and that hurt more.


He rested his hand on his belly thinking of the child nestling within
him. At least they had something in common; they were both being
used. Him to father and carry the child and the child to save the
gods. Ares didn't care for the child he'd given to Joxer anymore then
he cared for Joxer himself.


Unwanted, used and unloved. Both he and his child were that. He ran
his hand over his stomach slowly, coming to a decision. They might be
used and unwanted but not unloved. Joxer resolved to love his child
as much as he possibly could to make up for everything that would
happen to it. To stop it feeling the pain he was, he hoped that maybe
his child would love him back, be proud that he was its father.


He smiled slightly, all children loved their parents; the child was
the one good thing that had happened in a long while, had ever
happened in fact to Joxer and he would tell it that. He would love it
and be responsible for it in every way he could and he would never
leave his child feeling unwanted or unloved. In that moment, he
bonded with the foetus and lay back thinking of what could come to
pass and hoping for the best.


*********************


The creature moved soundlessly through the bushes its eyes fixed on
the man in front of him. Its master had awoken it from its long
imprisonment and sent it to find the `unclean' the ones who carried
the strange power his master was so afraid of.


All week it had been tracking the tiny bursts of power but as soon as
it tracked near enough to them they were gone. Spirited away by the
Gods, under their protection its master had informed him.


The news had not gone down well. Centuries ago the creature had been
imprisoned for draining the life force and power from a godly child
and though the child had managed to survive, the creature had been
imprisoned, unable to be destroyed. All through its forced slumber it
had cursed the gods and vowed vengeance.


Now seeing the unclean immortal in front of it, its eyes glowed in
triumph. Had it have had a mouth it would have been laughing. The
creature had nothing save the power its master had granted it, power
it intended to use to dispose of the unclean and punish the gods.


Feeling a strange call its body morphed into a recognisable shape,
one known only to those with knowledge and imagination combined. It
stalked closer to Joxer. It could sense no godly protection over the
man and so used its own power to sever any links to watching or
hearing Gods.


With a low growl it moved forward, the bushes parting before it
touched them, and stood in front of the man its silver eyes assessing
him coldly. When the man sat up and finally noticed him, freezing in
fear, it leapt for him hissing angrily.


************


Joxer blinked hearing a strange rumble; he stopped his own silent
babbling to the child inside him and sat up. His body went rigid with
shock as he stared at the creature before him. A strange mixture of
exotic beauty and grace greeted him as the creature moved forward. In
its silver eyes it held a silent deadly promise of what was to come.


Joxer stared at the creature. He'd never seen anything like it. It
was similar to a panther he'd seen on one of Gabrielle's scrolls, but
its colour was silver blue and on its back were two identical
seemingly fragile silver wings.


He backed away slightly and acting on instinct managed to roll away
as the creature leapt for him, its claws heading for his throat. He
felt a sharp pain rip through his shoulder as he rolled and as he
shakily got up onto his knees he saw the remains of his shoulder and
nearly gagged. His shoulder thankfully had gone numb but the blade
downward was covered in stringy red stuff which he guessed was muscle
and dark red blood. His arm seemed all right but it had also gone
numb and he couldn't move it. He let out a low moan of pain as he
tried to stem the bleeding; almost vomiting when he caught a glimpse
of what he believed was bone.


The creature was observing him, wearing what looked like a smirk and
it stalked forward again. Dizzy from pain and blood loss Joxer tried
to stand and collapsed against a tree root. He prayed frantically to
every and any God or goddess watching for help as the creature drew
closer. He sensed the arrival of a god as his vision got darker.


The familiar red flash as the creature leapt for him and Ares
screaming his name seemed almost unreal. As the creatures claws came
within a hairs breath away from his face, the last thing Joxer saw
before he passed out was a bright turquoise flash and felt a strange
almost painful ripple through his body.