Confessions

Sara was nervous as she held the key tightly in her hand and headed to the door of his townhouse. She had stopped by her apartment and picked up a change of clothes and a few personal items. She didn’t know if she would need them or not, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

He was already home, she had seen his truck parked in its spot. She had only been to Grissom’s townhouse once before, ironically, when he got suspended for standing up for his own beliefs. He was showing his concern for Sara going undercover. Sara smiled at the memory.

Her heart began to race when she put the key in the lock and turned it. She held her breath as she reached for the knob. She let the breath out and walked inside. Hearing the water running in the bathroom she sat on the couch for a moment, to collect her thoughts.

She awoke when she felt hands on her. “Shh, Sara. Go back to sleep.” Grissom whispered.

“Griss.” She mumbled incoherently.

“Sara, go back to sleep. I’m just going to carry you to the bedroom.”

Sara’s eyes shot open. “I can walk.” She insisted.

Grissom put her down. “I was just trying to help.”

“I appreciate that, Griss, but I didn’t mean to come to your house and fall asleep.” She was noticeably embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it, we both put in a long night, no wonder you are tired. You just got back from time off. You'll need to adjust your clock.”

“I guess.” She agreed.

Going into the bedroom she got a good look at Grissom. He was clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt. His hair was wild, he looked amazing. She figured he must have to tame it just like hers. He pulled open the bed and patted it down for Sara to sit. “Did you bring Pyjamas?” He asked.

She nodded. “In my bag.”

He left and returned with her knapsack. “The bathroom is there if you want to change.”

Sara stood up and with the knapsack in hand headed to the bathroom. She returned dressed in a tank top and shorts with her hair in a ponytail. Sara yawned as she approached the bed.

“Come on Sara, you need to sleep.” Too tired to fight she crawled into bed and he joined her.

She curled up to his chest and wrapped her arms around him. It felt so good to finally have her arms wrapped around him, especially after all these years of longing. She nuzzled into his neck and inhaled his clean, freshly scrubbed scent.

“You smell good.” She purred.

He laughed. “I should. I did just shower.”

Sara felt foolish. She turned her head away from him.

“Sara. I didn’t mean for that to be rude. I’m sorry it came across that way.”

“S’ok Griss. I understand this will take time. We are both new to this whole thing.”

He kissed her nose. “We can do this. It will just take time. Go to sleep Sara, we will talk later on.”

Sara pulled him tighter into her and rested her head on his chest. Her breathing slowed and she fell asleep. He fell asleep shortly after.

He awoke in the afternoon with a strange weight on his chest. He couldn’t place it. He opened his eyes and registered his sights on the brunette on his chest. Sara. He recalled that he had asked her over. She was still asleep. A low hum coming from her throat, slow and steady breathing. He didn’t want to move and wake her up. She looked so peaceful. He was content just watching her sleep until she woke up.

What am I doing? What are we doing? I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want to push either. It needs to be on her time, her pace. Until she is ready I guess this is what we will have. I’d rather have her only to hold in my arms than to not have her at all.

Sara opened her eyes and shifted her head to look at Grissom. The dark brown orbs looked straight through to his heart.

“Mornin.” She mumbled careful not to breathe on him. She was worried about her breath.

“Morning Sunshine. Did you have a good sleep?” He leaned in and kissed her nose. She jumped back.

“Sara.”

“Sorry, Griss. I have morning breath.” She smiled at him.

“I do too, does it really matter?”

“Yes.” She jumped up and ran towards the bathroom. Grissom was on her heels. He grabbed her by the arm and planted a kiss on her lips pinning her against the wall.

Sara was momentarily stunned by his directness. She was so excited and exhilarated, it felt so good, it felt so unGrissom. It took her by surprise and she stepped back.

Grissom instantly assumed he had hurt her, or at the very least frightened her

He turned and went straight back to the bed. I took advantage of her. What was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking that is the problem. Stupid! Stupid Gill! He mentally beat himself up for his actions. He got up and went to the living room. Leaving the bedroom to Sara. He was sure she wouldn’t want to be around him after what he had done to her.

He sat on the couch with his head in his hands. She was sexually abused you idiot. Why would you do that? He flicked on some music to drown his sorrows. Take me Away flooded through the radio.

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do

[Chorus:]
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands

“You are listening to Avril Lavigne?” Sara asked appearing in the living room.

“I guess.” He mumbled. “If that’s what this is.”

Sara got closer to him. “I never pegged you for an alternative music listener.”

“It's what’s on the radio.” He was staring at the floor.

Sara sat beside him. “Griss, what happened?” She was confused.

“I pushed…you ran.” His tone had a hint of sadness.

“What do you mean you pushed, I ran. Forgive me but I’m confused.”

“I never should have kissed you or even asked you here…you are so vulnerable and I took advantage of you. I should have known better.”

“Is that what you think?”

He nodded. He couldn’t bear to look into her eyes, he was filled with self-loathing. He was sure he had hurt her.

Sara crawled on his lap and straddled him. Leaning close to his ear she whispered. “You didn’t take advantage of me.” She nibbled lightly on the lobe.

“Then why did you run?”

She took his face between her hands and forced him to look at her. “Griss, you took me off guard. You could give a girl a bit of warning.”

She nibbled on his other ear and then licked her way down his neck. He tilted his head back and gave her better access. She nipped at the flesh on his neck brushing her face against his beard. She planted a kiss upon his lips. It was intense and she was begging for more. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and lifted it up.

Grissom stopped her. “Sara, are you sure? We don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sure.” In one motion his shirt was on the floor and she was rubbing the flesh of his chest. He was muscular even though he didn’t look like it. He was in great shape for a man his age. Sara couldn’t help herself from touching him. She loved the way he felt beneath her fingers. Strong and firm. Her mouth got jealous of her hands and she added her tongue to the equation. She nibbled at the flesh of his chest, teasing his nipples. She sucked them briefly, flicking them with her tongue.

“Ummm, Sara.” He moaned.

His hands were on her body, feeling her aroused flesh through the cotton tank top. He reached to remove it. Sara withdrew her hands from him and he lifted the shirt off over her head. Her breasts were exposed. He couldn’t restrain himself anymore., he had to touch her, he needed to feel her. His hands cupped her breasts and brought them to his mouth. They were firm and perfect.

Warm sensations swept over Sara’s body as Grissom suckled her breasts. It felt wonderful as his hands roamed over her body. Sara rotated her hips in his lap grinding herself down on his crotch. She was eager and aroused.

He lifted up her half naked body and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and reached for the waistband of her shorts. He placed his hand under them feeling the moisture that had already gathered there. He was momentarily impressed that he had aroused her that much already. She arched her hips almost as if to beg him to touch her more. He pulled the shorts off. She smelled like sex already. He wanted to taste her.

Nibbling his way up her legs Sara wriggled on the bed. His beard was tickling her skin. He reached her inner thigh and the anticipation made her howl. She gripped the sheets and balled them in her fists. He nipped at her thighs.

“OmygodGrissomImgonnascream.”

He dove into the flesh between her legs. Gently licking at her juices. His tongue found her clit and he licked at the hard nub then sucking it. He brought his fingers up to trace the opening. He plunged them inside her. He moved them slow at first and then quickened the pace.

“Oh ….OH God…Grissom” Sara thrashed on the bed and her core tightened around his fingers.

She looked in to his eyes. She hoped he got her subliminal invite. He reached down and made his pants disappear. He braced himself on either side of her supporting his weight on his arms. He lifted his hips and entered her. He thrust slowly at first, then he quickened his pace, pumping harder and faster. She arched her back and he knew she was close. Her cavern was tightening around him; it didn’t want to let go. His fluid filled her already stuffed walls. They collapsed onto the bed in a tangled mess.