Golem

When Brian awoke, the light coming in through the windows had taken on a faded, greyish color and Julian was gone. A glance at the clock on the VCR confirmed that it was past time for him to be home. Swearing under his breath, Brian levered himself up off the sofa and began scrambling into his clothes.

"I was just coming to wake you," Julian said from the doorway. "I figured it was probably time for you to be heading home."

"Its past time," Brian replied, hurriedly re-knotting his tie. "I should have been home an hour ago."

"Cynthia covered for you. Told Michael you'd be a little late getting home because you were with a client."

Brian was visibly relieved. He shrugged on his jacket and turned to face Julian. He struggled with himself for a moment, and then said "Thank you."

Julian smiled. He stepped forward and ran his hands through Brian's hair to tame it. "You're welcome," he replied simply.

*

Julian called Brian at work the next day to check up on him, and called again a couple of dayser wer with a reminder that he was there to listen if Brian needed to talk about anything. Brian insisted that he was fine, and Julian let the lie pass.

A few days later, Julian showed up at Brian's office unannounced.

"We're going to lunch. I won't take no for an answer," he told Brian.

Brian went along willingly. This time, Brian chose the venue - a Cajun restaurant that had always been one of his favorites. Michael wasn't particularly fond of Cajun food, so Brian hadn't been to James Street inong ong time. The food alone would have been a rare treat, but with Julian thrown into the mix, the outing was the high point of Brian's week.

The two men talked over lunch about the PR for Julian's new book, about his career, and about writing in general.

"It's amazing to me how something as simple as the written word can have so many different manifestations," Julian mused. "I mean, take us for example. Both of us rely on writing in our work, but we do it in different ways. You with witty, persuasive blurbs and me with not-so-witty narrative aimed only at entertaining. I'm a damned good writer, but I could never do what you do."

Brian laughed. "Modesty doesn't become you," he quipped.

"Well, I couldn't. I couldn't write persuasively if my life depended on it," Julian replied, purposefully misinterpreting Brian's barb.

"It's hard for me to imagine you having trouble being persuasive," Brian remarked with a small smirk.

Julian grinned. "There's a big difference between charming someone in person and swaying their opinion through writing."

Brian conceded the point, and they moved the conversation on to other topics. All too soon, lunch was over and the two were saying good-bye outside Brian's building.

"Cynthia told me that you're taking off work early tomorrow," Julian said.

"Mmm-hmm. I wondered what you were up to. I saw the bracelet you bribed her with," Brian noted with a grin.

"I didn't bribe her," Julian said indignantly. "That was to thank her for looking after you last week." He paused a moment to let the statement sink in. "Anyway, did you have plans for tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'm picking up Gus for the weekend so the munchers can have some 'alone time,'" he explained, making it sound as if the two women spending time alone was a ridiculous idea.

Julian leaned back against the wall behind him, thinking. "I was hoping to take you somewhere. I understand if you can't, but you could bring Gus with you. It might even be better if comes along."

Brian's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Where is it that you want to take me?"

"It's a surprise," Julian answered. "Anyway, think on it and let me know before you leave work tomorrow?"

Still slightly suspicious, but also curious and uncharacteristically trusting, Brian agreed to let Julian know something the next day. Truthfully, his mind was made up. He intended to go wherever it was Julian wanted him to go.

Satisfied with Brian's promise to think over his invitation, Julian beamed a smile at the other man. He gave Brian's hand an affectionate squeeze before striding purposefully down the street.

*

The next afternoon, Julian met Brian outside his office building, and they rode together to pick Gus up from daycare. Brian introduced the three-and-a-half year old to his new friend as he strapped the little boy into his car seat.

After Gus was settled, Julian tugged the keys from Brian's hand and headed around to the driver's side. When Brian didn't automatically follow his lead, Julian heaved a theatrical sigh.

"It's easier for me to drive than to give directions. I'll be careful." He saw Brian's eyes flicker toward the back seat, and he suddenly understood. "You're the one who drives like a maniac, Brian," he teased. "I was sure you were g tog to get me killed yesterday."

To his relief, Brian smirked at him and climbed into the passenger sof tof the Jeep.

Brian spent a good deal of the ride looking into his mirror or over his shoulder at Gus, talking to the boy who was asking questions non-stop. When Julian stopped the Jeep, Brian looked up and took in their surroundings.

"What the fuck is this?" Brian asked breathlessly. His eyes went wide as he took in the rows of headstones and towering sculptures of angels.

"Therapy," Julian said. He had Gus out of his car seat and was maneuvering the two of them out of the vehicle. Without another word to Brian, Julian took Gus's hand and led the little boy into the cemetery.

When Brian had sufficiently recovered his faculties, he climbed out of the Jeep and headed toward Gus and Julian, whom he could see only indistinctly because of the distance separating him from them. He found them beside Justin's grave, as he knew he would. Julian was sitting on the ground beside the grave, holding Gus in his lap. As Brian drew nearer, he could hear Julian talking quietly to the little boy, telling him what little he knew about Justin.

It was all too much for Brian.

He dropped to ground beside Justin's headstone, running his fingers lightly over the photograph that was inset into the marble. The picture blurred before his eyes, but he didn't really realize he was crying until he felt Julian's arms wrap around him and heard Gus telling him "It be awright, Dad." He gathered Gus into his arms, clinging to the toddler, cradling and rocking him in an effort to calm his own jangled nerves.

When Brian finally managed to regain his composure, Julian kissed Brian's temple and rescued Gus from being smothered. "Gus and I are going to leave you two alone," he said.

Brian sat beside Justin's grave for a long time, sometimes crying, sometimes talking as if Justin could hear him, and sometimes even laughing over some memory or other, but most of all feeling. For the first time in years, he realized, he didn't have to question whether he was really alive. He turned his eyes away from Justin's photograph and watched the dark-haired man standing hand-in-hand with Gus. A slight breeze blew up then, and - even though he wasn't the kind of man who believed in such things - Brian felt Justin's presence. And he knew that Justin approved of Julian.

It was just his luck that the only person who would understand this thing with Julian was nothing but a memory.

*

The walls fell that day in the cemetery, and bit by bit the light came back into Brian's eyes. Lindsey was the first to see it, but over time the others began noticing changes in him as well. Everyone was glad to see the old Brian coming back. Everyone but Michael.

Brian continued to play Prince Charming, but Michael began to worry that sooner or later the old Brian would come back with a vengeance and set out to reclaim his former glory on Liberty Avenue. Nothing seemed to change, however. There was no rash of late night meetings, no lingering scent of sex or other men clinging to Brian when he came home from work, nothing at all to indicate that he was the slightest bit interested in the multitude of men who tried to catch his eye.

So when they were in the diner with their friends, and Emmett asked about the hottie he had seen Brian having lunch with, he believed Brian when he said that the guy was a client. Still, it wasn't as if Brian had never fucked a client before. He was glad when Ted asked Emmett for des abs about the guy, which Emmett was all too happy to give.

From Emmett's description, the guy was definitely gorgeous - tan, tall, lean, and muscled. But he sounded like one of those new age, bleeding heart, romantic poet type of guys that made Brian roll his eyes. Not that the guy's personality would necessarily keep Brian from fucking him, but Brian's lack of reaction to the whole conversation reassured Michael.

It was hard for Brian to keep from saying anything while the boys gossiped about Julian. He wanted to tell them that Emmett had forgotten a few important details, like the mouth that looked like it was made for kissing and Julian's warm smile. He wanted to tell them how soft and warm those lips were when they brushed against his own. But he couldn't do that, just as he couldn't let himself have more with Julian than those chaste kisses, because he didn't want to hurt Michael.