Numb

Sam picked up her glass once again and began to swirl the remnants of the red wine around in the bottom. She was already slightly tipsy, as she brought the glass to her lips and drank the very last of it.
She had made it through dinner. She hadn't been entirely certain she was going to. She was amazed at the affect the man sitting across from her was having on her. She had never experienced such loss of control as she had earlier. She had never been the one to take the initiative physically like she had done with him. It was like she had notroltrol over herself, everything seemed to be on instinct. She wasn't sure she liked the feeling. In fact she was pretty certain it scared the hell out of her.
" Are we going to talk about what's bother you ? " Luka asked, after draining his glass as well, and sitting it back down.
" I told you, I'm fine really. " she lied, not sure of how she would explain what she was feeling even she wanted to.
" Sam, " he said, giving her a look that told her he knew she wasn't telling him something. " You've barely said a word since we started eating, you've been playing with your hair the way you do when something is bothering you. You can talk to me. " He reached out and pulled her hand into his. " I want to help if I can. "
Sam pulled away from him and stood. " Let's go in the living room. " she suggested.
Luka stood with her and reached out as she passed him and took her hand again.
They walked that way back to the sofa and sat down again, much closer this time. Several of the candles had put themselves out and the room was quite a bit darker than it was. Sam's leg brushed against Luka's as she turned to face him.
" I really don't know what's bothering me. " she said, abruptly. " I can't explain it. "
" Is it something I'm doing ? Because it seems every time we have any kind of physical contact, you pull away from me. " he asked, quietly.
She reached out and placed her hand against his hard, unyielding chest. " It has nothing to do with that. " she said, looking him the eyes, " I mean maybe it does, but it isn't you, It's all me. I just don't know what's going on. "
A look of confusion covered his face. " I don't understand. " he answered.
" I don't either, but no one has ever had the kind of affect on me that you do. " she whispered, looking away from him, embarrassed by her admission.
She felt his chest hitch for a moment, and knew she had shocked him. Then she felt his arms move around her and he pulled her against him.
" Now, I understand. " he whispered against her throat when she still wouldn't look at him. " I feel the exactly the same. It has been thirteen years since anyone has made me feel so out of control and helpless. " his breath played across her throat as he continued to whisper and Sam felt herself falling again.
Without another thought, she leaned her lips down to his and slid herself into his arms. His lips met hers with a force she wasn't expecting and she let out a tiny moan. Instantly, his hands were everywhere all at once. She felt them brush against her bare back, then sliding along her arm, until finally they rested for a moment at her waist.
His tongue was once again begging for entrance into her mouth and she once again was helpless to do anything but allow it eagerly. It felt like velvet and tasted of garlic and wine and something else that she now realized was uniquely Luka.
Her tiny hands roamed the taunt muscles of his massive chest. It hadn't occurred to her until now just how much bigger he was than she. His body seemed so immense compared to her. Strong hands circled around her waist almost touching together. She tried to move her hand to cover his shoulder, but was scarcely able to fit it into her palm. She loved the feel of his strength. She let her hands roam across his chest, feeling the muscles ripple as he moved. She was dizzy with the feel of him, so strong and protective and safe. For the first time in a very long time she felt safe and secure.
He moved his lips from hers and began to pepper her shoulders with light, feathery kisses that left her breathless. When his large hand moved up to cup her breast through her dress, it engulfed it completely. His thumb flicked gently across her nipple. His hair brushed against her bare chest. He was everywhere. She could think of nothing but him. Her hands moved to the buttons of his shirt, searching desperately to feel his skin against hers. After fumbling for a few moments, she felt his growing impatience as apparently the same need was seizing him.
Suddenly he reached up, moved her hands away and yanked the shirt apart, letting the buttons fly where they would.
Sam smiled and dipped her head to taste the now exposed skin. She heard him groan as her tongue swirled over his collarbone and another moan escaped him as she lightly nibbled at his Adam's apple.
His hands were tugging at the straps of her dress, moving them from her shoulder, then his tongue was there, tasting her like she was a fine wine.
Her head fell back as his mouth continued to devour her flesh.
It was then that a moment of rational thought invaded her mind as her eyes inadvertently fell on a picture of Alex.
She pushed against his shoulder softly and tried to pull him away from her. " Luka, " she moaned, attempting to get his attention.
He was still so engrossed in her, he wasn't paying attention.
" Luka, " she said, moorceorcefully this time.
He leaned his head back and caught her eyes with his. The passion his eyes held made her swallow forcibly.
" We can't do this. " she managed.
The look of loss and despair that replaced that desire shocked her. Confusion riddled her uncomprehending brain. What had caused the look in his eyes to change so dramatically ?
Then understand hit her and she stood, untangling herself from him and held out her hand.
" I mean we can't do this here. Come with me. " she explained.
He up and by her side before she thought it was possible. His hand completely engulfed hers as she lead him down the hall, stopping for only a second to make sure first the front door was locked, then pausing again after entering the bedroom to lock that door as well.
" I didn't want Alex to come home early and find us on the couch. " She said, finally turning back to him.
He pulled her to him and pressed her body into his. " I'm glad you can think right now. " he muttered into her hair, before bending low enough to reach her ear.
His hot, moist breath sweprossross her ear as he breathed raggedly.
Her hands went to his shoulders again, this time sliding under his shirt and moving it away from his body. It fell to the floor behind him soundlessly.
" That was one of my favorite shirts, " he whined at realizing what he had done earlier.
Her mouth meet his again and their tongues swirled together.
" I'll sew them back on tomorrow. " she whispered, into his mouth.
She felt him smile. Then his hand went to the zipper of her dress and paused for a moment, waiting for some sign from her to move forward. She pressed into him and moved one of her hands behind her to hold the bottom of it so it would come down easily.
She felt the material loosen as the soft sound of the zipper penetrated the room. When it was down, he tugged gently at the straps that now hung at her elbows, pulling the dress from her.
He stepped back far enough to look down at her and watched intensely as he began to ease the material off her body at an agonizing pace. Inch by inch her skin was reveled to his scrutinizing eyes, making her shiver at the emotion they held. Finally the garment fell to the floor leaving her wearing nothing but a pair of white lace panties. She stepped out of the pool the dress had created around her feet, kicking her shoes to the side in the process.
He simply stood there looking at her for the longest time, not touching, just looking. When Sam was certain she would go insane without feeling his hands on her again, he moved closer and ducked his head to her ear once again.
" Ti si na taj nacin lijep. " he whispered, breathily into her ear.
She looked up at him with uncomprehending eyes.
" I said, you are so beautiful. " he repeated in English, with that smoldering look searing through her. " So very beautiful. "
Sam sighed and leaned into him, not knowing whether she could hold herself upright on her shaking legs. His strong powerful arms engulfed her gathering her to him and swept her into his arms.
His mouth sought hers again as he moved to the bed and gently laid her down on top of the blankets.
Then his mouth fell first to her breastbone, his warm, damp tongue made small circles against her skin. He opened his mouth and began to suck gently, then more aggressively. His hand cupped her breast, squeezing softly and letting his thumb flick across her already hardened nipple. His mouth moved with agonizing slowness, first tasting, then sucking at her skin as it went, making its way leisurely to her breast.
His mouth enclosed around first one breast then the other as his tongue darted across her nipple, replacing his thumb.
Sam was coming completely undone. Never had she felt such all-consuming passion. She could feel him everywhere. His cologne surrounded her. His taste permeated her mouth. His hands singed her flesh everywhere they touched. His mouth devoured her inch by inch. Never had she experienced such complete sensory arousal. The only thing she knew was Luka.
His hands had fallen to rest at the waistband of her only remaining garment. His head had moved to her navel and he gently slipped his tongue inside. She raised her hips signally him to move her panties away.
When he tossed them aside, he sat back and took in the sight of her once again.
" You are so beautiful." he repeated once again as his hand lazily followed the curve of her breast.
" No, " she whimpered. " Tell me like you did before. "
A slow smile crept across his face and his eyes darkened. He raised her hand and gently kissed her palm. " Ti si " he whispered. Then he moved to her wrist and kissed the soft skin there. "na taj " he whispered again. A groan escaped her lips involuntarily. He moved to her elbow and began to suckle the tender skin there. " nacin " he breathed. Then he moved to her shoulder, kissing once again. " lijep"
" Oh, God, " Sam groaned before grabbing his head and pulling him to her in a soul wrenching kiss. " I need you, now. " she groaned into his mouth.
" You have me, " he whispered back. " You have all of me. "
Her hands moved urgently down to the waist of pants and he moved away from her pulling her with him as he sat up. His hands left her long enough for him to remove his shoes. Then he pulled away completely and stood. A cold rush of air assaulted her flesh and she felt the goosebumps rising on her skin.
He hurriedly shed the rest of his clothing, then came back to her surrounding her in his warmth again.
She fell back against the bed, pulling him with her as she held to his shoulders tightly.
" Zelim te. " he whispered against her throat.
" What ? " she managed as she threw her head back, allowing him better access to her neck.
" I want you. " he moaned.
" Oh God, " she groaned again.
Then very abruptly he pulled away from her and moved to sit on the side of the bed.
" We can't do this. " he whispered.
" What ? " she asked, sitting up and touchins bas back. " What do you mean ? "
" I didn't bring anything. I didn't expect this to happen. " he tried to explain as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Sam smiled and urged him to turn towards her as she reached to the night stand beside the bed. Opening the drawer, she reached in and retrieved a condom.
" You can't say I never learn from my mistakes. " she smiled, handing it to him.
He took it and smiled back at her brightly. " You are amazing. " he breathed.
She laid back against the bed as he opened the package.
" Don't say another word to me in English the rest of the night. " she whispered, as he turned back to her.
" Zelim te. " he said, into her hair as he moved over her and covered her body with his.
Every inch of her flesh seemed to hum as it contacted his. His mouth engulfed hers again as he entered her.
" Trebam te. " he whispered as he began to move, setting a slow, leisurely pace.
Sweat covered there bodies as they moved together. They were one body, moving together in perfect harmony.
Sam had never felt so filled, so complete. Every touch, every move, was perfect. She moved her legs around his waist and pulled him deeper into her.
" Te osjet na taj nacin dobar. " he whispered, his voice husky and laden with need.
" I love the way that sounds. " she groaned into his neck as she pulled herself to him until all of his flesh contacted all of hers.
" It means you feel so good. " he said, through teeth clenched in concentration.
Then suddenly he gathered her to him, wrapping his arms around her back and in a sudden motion she found herself sitting astride him.
She was poised above him, having lost contact at the change of position and a slow smile crept across her face.
She remained that way for a long moment, just out is ris reach. His hips thrust upwards trying to join with her again, but she purposely stayed out of his reach.
" Please. " he whimpered, finally.
" I told you not to speak to me in English again tonight. " she scolded as she dipped her head down and nipped at his chest.
" Molim, " he answered. " Zelim te. Trebam te. "
She let herself sink down onto him at a torturous pace, and once she had him fully embedded inside her, she stopped and looked down at him, holding completely still and reveling in the feeling of being so fulfilled.
" You are an evil woman. " he breathed out.
She leaned down to him and kissed him deeply as she began to move slowly once again.
Then she felt his hands move to her hips and encircle them. He began to guide her movements, pushing her harder and faster.
She groaned, calling his name out as she felt herself becoming overwhelmed again. Unable to contain the moans that fell from her lips, she began to fall over the edge into the sweet oblivion of ecstasy.
Then she heard Luka crying out her name and uttering words she didn't understand as she felt his control slip and he followed along with her.
When she finally returned to her senses, she found herself lying in the crock of his arm, her head resting on his sweaty, still heaving chest.
She stretched languidly and clutched his shoulders tightly.
" I don't think I have ever experienced anything like that. " she sighed, exhaustedly.
Luka said nothing but brought his hand up to squeeze her arm.
They lay like that for what seemed like forever. She let herself be lulled almost to sleep by the sound of his now slow and steady heartbeat.
" Luka ? " she whispered, trying to find out if he was still awake.
He turned his head towards her and smiled.
" I was just seeing if you were still awake. " she explained.
He simply shook his head and turned back to staring at the ceiling.
" What are you thinking about ? " she asked him after several more minutes of silence.
" Am I allowed to speak to you in English again ? " he asked, with a playful smile.
She pushed against his chest and smiled with him. " Very funny. "
" I don't know I guess I was just lost in thought for a moment. Sorry to space out on you." he said, gathering her to him again and kissing her softly.
" Are you going to stay the night ? " she asked, hesitantly.
" Is it okay with yf I f I stay ? " he asked.
" I would really like it if you stayed. It has been a long time since I had someone to cuddle up to when I fell asleep. " she whispered.
" Then I'm all yours. Use me as you like. " he answered, kissing her head and smiling. "It has been quite a while for me as well. "
Sam leaned up on her elbow and stared down into his face for a moment.
" What ? " he asked, finally after several seconds went by and she still hadn't said anything.
" I was just wondering. You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I understand that you have things you don't want to talk about. " she prattled, wrapping her hair around her finger.
" What is it ? You can ask me anything. " he answered, taking her hand and unwrapping the hair.
" Earlier you said it had been thirteen years since you've felt this way. I was just wondering what happened then. " she said, in a low quiet voice.
She felt his chest heave and his eyes darkened.
" I'm not sure this is the right time to discuss this. " he answered, almost pulling away from her.
She held him tightly, not letting him move. " It's okay. We don't have to talk about it. When you're ready I'll be here to listen. " she said,
Luka turned to her and she felt his body relax against hers again. A look she didn't recognized crossed his face. " No one has ever said anything like that to me before. " he mumbled, still just staring at her.
Sam brushed a few stray hairs from his forehead and smiled tenderly. " Whatever it is it has obviously caused you a great deal of pain. I can see it in your eyes sometimes. No one can push into dealing with that until your ready. " she explained softly.
Luka grabbed her to him and held her tightly. " I think I'm actually happy for the first time in longer than I can remember. " he whispered. " Thank you. "
" Don't thank me. " she answered, placing a soft kiss to his lips. " I havedonedone anything for you that you haven't done for me. "
Luka smiled and she realized that it was the first time she had seen him smile without at least some of the traces of pain that were usually there.