The Dark Side

The Dark Side

Chapter 5
Author: Frosty the Co-Dependant
Contact: elvendemagogue@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Codes: Archer, Tucker, T'Pol, OC, AU, N/C, Darkfic
Summary: Something has a hold over Captain Archer. Is it loooove? Read and find out!
WARNING: Very violent. Probably a lot more violent than our other fics. And more one-dimensional, as well.
Author's Notes: This fic was written a couple of years ago. It was one of the first OC ones I ever wrote, so I don't think the quality is quite as good as the more recent ones. Just FYI.
Disclaimer: Enterprise isn't mine.

This is the final chapter. Be nice and leave me a *little* note. Please?

*

Captain Archer slumped into a chair and gathered Porthos in his arms. "Why did this have to happen?" he asked his dog, not expecting an answer. The beagle only stared at him.

He released the dog and looked around his quarters, searching for anything he could do to keep his mind off of Ensign McLeod. He frowned when he noticed how much of a mess his quarters were in.

Getting up, he walked over to his bed. He began to undress for bed when the chime on his door rang. Not bothering to put on a shirt, he went to answer it.

His face froze when the door opened. "Kate," he choked, suddenly realizing that he really should have dressed again.

Ensign McLeod' ears buzzed when she caught his aroma. The smell of his quarters, and the sight of him half-naked. The memories came swirling back to her. Steeling herself against the instinct to run, she shut her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Opening them again, she looked into the Captain's very worried eyes.

"Can we talk?" she asked, hoping his answer would be 'yes' and 'no' at the same time.

He stepped back, allowing her to enter. She pushed herself through the doors, visually scanning the entire room. It was a mess.

Jonathan began to say something, but Kate cut him off. "Please, can I say something first?" The Captain swallowed his apology and nodded.

She walked a little further into his quarters, and smiled at Porthos. She sighed and turned back, looking Archer in the eye. "Hoshi came to see me," she said. "She made me realize something. Something that I really didn't want to face."

Jonathan nodded slowly. "Go on," he said.

Kate took a deep breath, feeling the warm tears rim her burning eyes. "I think that I'm afraid to let you near me not because of what that alien did to me, but because of what I did to you," she said, her voice shaking. The tears fell freely from her eyes now.

Archer frowned. "You didn't do anything to me."

"I mean, the things he made me do...to you," she whispered, barely able to form the words.

Jonathan felt his sides begin to ache. He stepped closer to her, slowly, afraid she might lose her courage. "Kate, none of that was your fault. And I most certainly do not think any less of you because of it. God, I hope that's not wyou you think."

Kate lowered her eyes. "I'm so ashamed," she cried, "I let myself weaken. I let myself feel...pleasure, when I couldn't fight it anymore." She raised her eyes to meet his, pleading in their depths. "You saw that."

Jonathan fought the urge to reach out and touch her, to hold her close. "You did nothing wrong. Do you understand me? Nothing." He licked his lips nervously. "I'm the one who allowed myself to give in to it, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

Kate couldn't help but laugh. "We are both so pathetic."

Jonathan smiled, taking a chance and raising his hand to her face. Kate stiffened, but allowed him to wipe the tears from her face. "You still want to pull back," he said, neutrally.

"I don't know if I can get past it all right away," she said, biting her lip.

Archer nodded in understanding. "We can start slow," he said, smiling softly and dropping his hand. "Thank you for this."

She swallowed, relaxing slightly. "Can we talk more tomorrow, Captain?"

Archer smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that." Kate turned and made her way to the door. Before she left, the Captain called out again. "Kate?" he said, and she turned back. "Please call me Jonathan, okay?"

She smiled, and the door shut behind her.

*

The next morning came amazingly fast. Kate yawned and got out of bed, feeling more rested than she had in quite a while. The memories of last night were still fresh in her mind. Butterflies ted ied in her belly as she thought about it.

There was still that uneasy feeling behind it all, though. That feeling that it could all turn bad again, that she, in some way, should feel embarrassed over what happened.

After getting dressed, she left for the Mess Hall. Seeing Malcolm and Travis, she sat down beside them.

"Missed you last night, Kate," said Reed, sipping his coffee.

Kate smiled. "I'm sorry. I wasn't really up to a party."

The Lieutenant winked in understanding. "Next time."

"You look good today," said Mayweather, finishing his breakfast. "Get a good night's sleep?"

"Actually, I did." She grinned and looked up as Captain Archer entered the Mess Hall.

He halted when he saw Ensign McLeod. Quickly making a decision, he walked over to the trio. Kate's smile faded.

"Ensign McLeod," he said, nervously. "Would you care to joinfor for breakfast in the dining room?"

Kate felt anxious, but smiled anyways. "Sure," she said, getting up and following him to his private room. Before entering, she looked back to Travis and Malcolm, and smiled reassuringly.

*

Kate sat across from Jonathan, chewing her f Nei Neither of them had said a word since entering the room. Neither of them really knew what to say.

Captain Archer chewed in silence, wanting to say something, but having problems deciding on what. He looked at Kate, staring at her plate. He could tell she was uncomfortable.

"I would, too," replied Kate, her heart fluttering.

"Would you joi for for dinner tonight in my quarters?" he asked. At her pause, he quickly added, "Unless you're not ready for that."

Kate smiled softly. "I think I'm ready."

Jonathan grinned. "Good," he said. "It'll help if we talk."

Kate lowered her eyes, knowing he was right, but still not looking forward to discussing things with him.

"I have to get to the Bridge," said Archer, getting up from his seat. "I'll see you at 8, okay?"

"Yeah," said Kate, distracted by her own thoughts. "I'll be there." She forced a smile as he left the room.

*

The dinner hour arrived quickly. Kate licked her lips anxiously, and forced herself to hit the doorbell.

Captain Archer was standing in the doorway when it swooshed open. "Come in," he said, walking back to the table.

Kate entered his quarters and clasped her hands in front of her. "Can I help with anything?" she asked, wanting a distraction.

Jonathan smiled and stirred one of the pots. "Nope, everything's fine. It just needs to sit for a few minutes." He walked over to the living area. "Want to have a seat?" he asked.

Kate smiled lightly and sat down on the couch. She was grateful when Jonathan sat across from her in a chair instead of beside her.

"I hope you like stir fry," he said, hoping that would work as an introduction into conversation.

Kate couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Yeah, I do."

Jonathan smiled at Kate's smile. Seeing her in a good mood made him a little more brave. "You know, before any of this ever happened, I had my eye on you."

Kate's eyebrows shot to her hairline. The Captain laughed. "No, not in that way. What I meant was, I liked you. I thought you had real potential."

"Do you still think that?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah, of course I do. But now," he said, pausing, "Now I know that you'll do great."

Archer sighed, frustrated by his lack of proper wording. He just couldn't seem to get comfortable around her.

Kate looked at her hands. "Thank you, Captain," she said quietly.

"Jonathan," he corrected.

"Jonathan," she repeated, blushing slightly at the implications.

The Captain's eyes flickered to the Ensign's, and he braved a question. "Kate, do you mind if I sit beside you?"

Her face softened. "No, I don't mind."

He licked his lips and got up slowly, moving to the couch and sitting next to Kate. He kept a slight distance between them.

He looked down at her hands. "I know it's hard to think about what happened, but I need you to know how sorry I am about went on between us. If there's ever anything I can do to make it right again, I want you to let me know."

Kate's eyes watered slightly, but she smiled. "I know you're sorry. I'm sorry, too. I want us to move past this." She took a shuddering breath and gently took his hand. She squeezed it slightly and looked into his eyes, hoping to reassure him.

Jonathan's deep brown eyes glimmered with unshed tears. He held her hand tight, amazed and relieved that she was confident enough to touch him. That touch sent shivers down his spine. He felt as though he had been craving it for weeks.

The Captain gently took his other hand and smoothed Kate's hair behind her ear. He rd hid his fingers on her cheek, his thumb gently brushing her skin.

Kate looked down and closed her eyes, reveling in the soft touch. Her nerves were heightened, anxiety and wanting spreading through her body. She lifted her hand to his and rested it along his wrist, encouraging the touch.

Jonathan melted at her response. He watched her face for any signs of fear or rejection, but found none. He smiled to himself, thinking about just how beautiful she really was.

Her eyes fluttered open as he trailed his along her ear and around her head. He massaged softly, visually memorizing every expression on her lovely face.

Archer felt his head start to buzz. He couldn't fight the urge anymore, so he leaned in and let his lips softly touch hers. He did only that, wanting her to let him know how she wanted him to proceed.

Kate's eyes widened in nervous anticipation as the Captain leaned in to kiss her. He didn't press forward, though, and somehow that made her feel the need to continue the action.

She closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, tightening her grip on his wrist. She inched forward, pressing her lips to his own, drowning in the dizzy feeling she got from the warmth of his mouth.

She had never been kissed before. Not in a romantic way. The only experience she had was the rape she suffered at the hands of the alien. She was worried the feelings would be the same, that the actions wobrinbring back frightening images from before. But none of that was happening. All she could feel was a warm sensation in her stomach, and the tingling of his lips on her own.

Jonathan trembled as Kate put pressure on his lips. He moaned quietly and opened his mouth, moving his tongue over her full lips. The salty taste of her mouth mixed with his own, and he pushed further, wanting to taste her sweetness. His hand gripped her neck, pulling her into him, as he traced his tongue over her teeth.

Kate whimpered as Jonathan's hot tongue enteher her mouth. She flicked her own over his and past his lips, darting it through his mouth. It all seemed so natural to her, and it felt so good. Nothing she had done had ever felt like this.

The sweet taste of grapes filled her senses as Jonathan massaged his tongue over hers. She groaned in response to his kissing, clenching her hands over his. She felt a growing heat in her body, and at that second forgotrythrything that was in the past. She wanted more of what was happening now.

Straining to breathe, Archer reluctantly broke the kiss. He inhaled softly, captured by her aroma. He could feel the heat radiating off her, and wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms.

He opened his eyes and stared into hers, worried about what he would see. He smiled when she looked at him, her lids half drawn, a dusky haze over her brown eyes.

She licked her lips, picking up traces of his taste on her. His fingers ran slow circles ugh ugh her hair. The motion made her dizzy with need.

"Is it okay that I did that?" asked Jonathan huskily. He needed to know that she was okay with the kiss.

"Mmmm," she said, smiling. "It's more than okay."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead lovingly. Kate sighed as he broke away. "Is this a good idea, Jonathan?" she asked. At his questioning stare, she continued. "You're my Captain."

"I can't ignore my feelings, Kate," he said, pulling his hand from her hair and running it down her arm. "But if you're uncomfortable with it, I will stop."

Kate's eyes watered at his sensitivity. It reassured her to no end about his intentions. "I don't want you to stop," she said, squeezing his hand.

Jonathan's face lit up, knowing that she wanted this, too. He was so grateful that he was getting this chance. He kissed her again softly on the lips, merely a butterfly kiss. The emotions welled up in him, and he didn't fully realize his mouth opened to speak, nor could he prepare himself for what was said.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice low and his eyes closed.

Kate pulled away slightly, and it was then the Captain realized what he had said. He looked up into her eyes, deathly worried about what he would find there. It killed him to see that she had begun to cry.

His hands fluttered over her in an attempt to calm her. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Kate. I didn't mean to scare you. I don't know why I said that,\ whi whispered, afraid of hurting her further.

Jonathan wasn't prepared for what she did next. He froze as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him close. She buryed her face in his neck and held him tightly. He carefully draped his arms around her, pulling her in closer.

He held her there for a few seconds before she pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, placing her lips onto his and kissing him, showing him that he hadn't frightened her. His heart nearly broke in two as she touched him.

Kate kissed him deeply, sending her warm tongue swirling through his mouth. She trailed her fingers in his hair, dizzy from the feeling it gave her. Without removing her mouth from his, she got up on her knees and sat over top of Jonathan's lap. She lowered herself down, and moaned as Archer pulled her forward, moving her as close to him as he could.

She brought her hands over his shoulders and to his chest, massaging in rhythm with their kiss. Kate pushed deeply into his mouth, and whimpered as he trailed his hands down her body to her thighs and squeezed. The slow rumble of a groan from his chest sent shivers up her spine.

Kate pulled her lips from his and looked down into his eyes. She ran her fingers his his face, tracing every line and curve. She licked her lips, concentrating on memorizing him completely. Jonathan rubbed her legs and blinked slowly, caught up in her beautiful eyes. Finally, she smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Do you want to take this to the bedroom?" she asked, kissing his face.

Jonathan exhaled sharply, wanting nothing more than to do just that, but unsure about if it was really the right thing. He cupped her face in his hands and pushed her away, looking her directly in the eye.

"Kate, are you sure you're ready for that?" he asked, concerned.

She smiled warmly. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't ready. I promise you that." She pulled his hands from her face and held them in hers. Leaning close, she looked at him with an expression of pure honesty. "You aren't him, Jonathan. I want you."

Jonathan smiled at those words. Words he thought he would never hear. "I want you, too," he breathed, kissing her again. He couldn't get enough of the taste of her.

Kate broke the kiss and pulled herself up from his lap. She took his hand as he got up, and led him to the bedroom. Her stomach fluttered with anxiety. She wanted this so badly, but her entire body shuddered in nervous anticipation.

When they got into the bedroom, Jonathan gently pushed Kate down on the bed. He was determined to make this as good as possible for her. He wanted her to get pleasure from this, so she wouldn't associate sex with violence. He promised himself he would be as soft as possible.

Kate laid down on the bed, giving in to Jonathan's lead. He kissed her gently on the lips before beginning to remove her clothing. She watched him as he worked slowly, making sure he didn't make any rough movements. It hit her so deeply that he would be so considerate with her.

He pulled off her jacket and boots, then slid off her socks. He traced his fingers over her feet, earning him a giggle. Kate quickly covered her mouth, a grin plastered on her face.

"Ticklish?" he asked, daring to run a finger up her foot again.

Kate laughed out loud and kicked. "Stop that," she said, blushing.

Jonathan licked his lips and pulled his hand up her leg. Kate's face became more serious, more lustful, as he pulled her shirt out from the waistband of her pants.

He allowed his fingers to softly touch her waist before he made sure of what he was doing. "Kate, are you sure about this?" he asked, still nervous about harming her. "We can stop."

Kate smiled at his anxiety. It was almost endearing. Instead of speaking, she sat up and pulled her shirt off herself. Tossing it aside, she pulled at Archer's shirt, grinning impishly. "This has to go," she said, pulling it up over his head.

Jonathan smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. Kate shuddered at con contact, her skin tingling at his every touch. She looked down at his chest, wondering just how she missed how good it looked the first time.

Jonathan dropped his hands to her pants, and deftly undid them. Kate leaned back as he pulled them off her legs.

He looked over her body, his body burninth nth need. He undid his own pants and pulled them off, kicking off his shoes and socks in the process. Kate giggled softly as he fumbled about.

Jonathan's eyes sparkled at her laughter. That sound was something that made him feel better than anything else in the galaxy.

He smiled and laid his body over top of hers, careful not to press his weight down. "You are so beautiful," he said, kissing her lips then dropping his mouth to her jawline. He sucked softly, tracing a line down to her neck. Kate moved her head back in response, allowing him access to her skin.

He stopped for a few seconds, noticing the bruise on her neck. He frowned, remembering how he had been with her before. How the alien had been. He closed his eyes and kissed her there, placing short, sweet kisses on her hurt skin.

Kate shut her eyes tightly when he stopped, feeling a wave of shame wash over her when she realized what he was seeing. When he began to kiss her again, a few tears streamed down her face. She let out a held breath, her body shivering, a dull ache spreading through her abdomen.

Jonathan moved his lips back to hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth. She responded in kind, arching her back and moaning into his body.

"God, you taste so good," he said, running his hands down her body. He rested one hand on her waist, gently pressing at her skin.

Kate felt him holding back as he kissed. She knew he didn't want to hurt her, and that only spurred her on. She wanted to show him that she wanted this.

She gathered all her strength and pushed at his lderlders, rolling him over and sitting up on top of him. His surprised face broke into a smile when she laughed.

"What are you doing?" he asked, somewhat pleased at her forcefulness.

"What do you think I'm doing?" she responded, biting at her lower lip. He held onto her knees as she reached behind her back and undid her bra.

She demurely pulled it off and tossed it aside. Staring into his eyes, Kate ran her hands over his chest, tracing her fingernails along ski skin. He inhaled sharply, unable to stop himself from responding to the look of dire lust on her face.

He gazed at her naked form as she brought her lips down to his chest and used her tongue to run gentle circles down his body. He rocked his head back and closed his eyes, groaning in feeling. "Kate," he mumbled, placing his hands in her hair. She kissed her way up his body and raised her head up, grinning at his ecstasy.

Feeling more comfortable, Archer easily pulled Kate off of him and rolled on top of her. "It's your turn to have pleasure," he said, kissing her lips. She was a little confused at his statement, but was quickly distracted by his warm mouth on her body.

He pushed his lips down on her breast, his other hand massaging the other gently. Kate gasped as he sucked and swirled his ue oue over her. She clenched her fingers into his shoulders, causing him to moan in exhilaration.

He gently pulled his lips from her chest and moved further down her body. He looked up at her as he wrapped his fingers around the waistband of her panties and gently slid them down her legs. He moved slowly, savouring the sights along the way.

She pulled her legs into her, allowing him to remove the underwear. He dropped them and slid back up her body, kissing her deeply.

She wrapped her arms around him, and pulled her legs upwards, wrapping her toes around his underwear. Jonathan kissed her strongly as she pulled down his boxers with her feet, spurred on by her sexual movements.

Kate could feel his member pushing into her groin. "I want you inside me," she whispered as they kissed. Archer pressed his mouth to hers heatedly as he pushed himself gently inside her.

Kate tensed at the entry, memories of rape rushing back into her mind. She clenched her teeth and whimpered, bracing herself against the onslaught of images. Jonathan immediately sensed her tension and halted his advance.

"Kate," he said worriedly, "Are you alright?" He ran his fingers through her hand and frowned, afraid that he'd done what he had feared he would do.

She swallowed heavily and opened her eyes against the stinging. She let out a held breath and looked into Jonathan's scared eyes. Pulling a hand up and running it along his face, she said, "It's okay. I'm okay. Just a bit of a flashback." She laughed lightly.

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. Kissing it, Kate could see the formation of tears in his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you," he said. "Should we stop?"

Kate wrapped her ankles over his and massaged her foot along his calf. "I don't want to stop, Jonathan," she said, the violent feelings slowly fading from her head. The sight of him before her eased her tension. She knew he would never hurt her. And she wanted him, to be near him, more than anything. She needed him.

Jonathan licked his lips slowly and pushed his hips forward, testing her readiness. Kate closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure, feg jug just how good sex could really be. She gripped him hard and thrust her body upwards, wanting more of him inside her.

Archer shuddered at her movements. He quickly placed a hand on her hip and slid it underneath her, pulling her body up towards his.

He thrust forward, watching her face as he did so. The bliss on her features made his body dull with ache. Every moan from her soft mouth sent him into an abyss of pleasure.

"Oh Jonathan," she groaned, her breath ragged. She grasped him firmly, feeling herself near her climax.

At those words, Archer placed his mouth on her neck and began sucking. He held her strongly, thrusting faster as he tensed.

Kate arched back, her body reaching its height of pleasure. She bucked against his hips and groaned hotly into his collarbone. Her reaction caused him to lose control, and he allowed himself to release into her.

She was still shuddering beneath him as he gently laid his numb body onto hers. When she finally opened her eyes, Jonathan was staring into them. "Are you okay?" he asked, a small smile on his lips.

Kate heaved a sigh and grinned. "Yeah," she said, breathless. "I'm better than okay." She giggled softly, and he slowly pulled out of her and rolled beside her.

"I do love you," he said, wanting to let her know just how much he cared. He couldn't stop himself from feeling just how much he needed her.

Kate turned to her side and cuddled beside him. His warm arms held her tightly beside him. "I know," she whispered, closing her eyes. "I love you, too."

Jonathan kissed the top of her head and smiled, closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep.

*

FINIS