Only The Good Die Young, Book 2

Chapter 5

“Who do you think you are, bitch? In here, you’re nobody.”

Silence. Someone was screaming. Wait, I’m the one screaming. What’s going on? Why are they hitting me?

“Your copper boyfriend isn’t going to save you in here. Heh, I always thought the filth got their own kind off.”

Now, darkness. John’s here. He’s calling me, saying my name over and over again. He’s beckoning me to come to him. Whes hes he? I open my mouth to ask but nothing comes out. I can’t speak. John’s on an airplane. He’s flying over me, passing me by, but I can’t move. I’m chained here.

“Take me with you!” I cry, “Don’t leave me here, take me with you!”

It’s too late, he’s gone.

Silence.

* * *

Katy awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. She looked around, wildly, not recognizing where she was. Then she saw Chris Deakin’s head on the pillow next to her and the realisation of what she did, sunk in.

Katy felt sick to her stomach. It was like the earth was causing her stomach to churn. She shot out of bed and stumbled towards the loo. As quietly as she could, she threw up. Splashing cold water on her face, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy. Katy was startled by a knock at the door.

“Katy,” Chris said, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…” Katy opened the door.

“You weren’t planning on running out on me, were you?”

“No,” she said. ‘Yes,’ she thought.

“I was just sick. Probably too much wine. I had a nightmare and I woke up.”

Chris put his arm around Katy, leading her back to bed. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’ll be alright.”

“Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”

“No… It was about prison.”

Chris held her in his arms. Katy smiled, and let herself relax. He wasn’t John but he’d do.

“Right, my beauty, I’ve got to get back to sleep, I’ve got to be up to teach at 8:00.” It was 2:30 AM. “If I’m up before you, help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and I’ll call you at home later.”

“Alright, Chris.”

He kissed her gently, and closed his eyes. She looked at him, and smiled sadly to herself.

“Chris?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

Chris smiled and fell asleep, content. Katy closed her eyes and tried ill ill sleep into coming. She counted his breaths, in and out, regular and steady. Snippets of the dream kept coming back to her. John on an airplane, flying away. How she wished she could fly away from here, Tony Stamp, Chris Deakin, Sun Hill, and her guilty conscience. Did she love Tony? Yes but not like he wanted. Did she love Chris? No, but he was a good shag, and good company. She felt awful. She had never been a slag, and John onlyonly been the second bloke that she had made love to. However, she always held the principle that if she wanted someone, she would have them. Having two partners in four days, though, was a bit much for anyone’s standards. She felt horrible about sleeping with Tony – that was a major mistake, one that she could never hope to rectify. Chris, on the other hand, the only regret she had was not getting out of there. It’s not like she didn’t want a relationship with him, she just wanted time. The sex was mind-blowing between them, though. But it wasn’t enough for her. He wasn’t John. And that was the problem. He could be her lover but he wasn’t John.

Katy sighed and closed her eyes. She must have drifted off because she was awoken by Chris’s alarm clock. She pretended like she was asleep while he got ready. He kissed her goodbye and she heard the door slam. Quickly, she got dressed and went to leave. She noticed a note left on the front door.

Katy,

Many thanks for a beautiful evening. I can’t wait to see you again.

Love,
Chris

PS: You might want to wait until 10:00 before going to avoid rush hour. xx

She balled up the note and shoved it in her jacket pocket. She got in the car and braved the rush hour traffic back to Greenwich.

* * *

Katy did not notice the shards of glass on her front porch. After a two hour drive back to Greenwich, she was just happy to be home finally. Unlocking the front door, she slung her handbag down, and rubbed the back of her neck. She went into the kitchen and put the kettle on.

Someone cleared their throat behind her, and she jumped, startled.

“I want a word with you.”

Katy stared, wide eyed, at the intruder. He took a step forward. She felt for the drawer behind her. Quickly she stuck her hand inside and brandished a large kitchen knife.

“I know who you are. You killed John. If you take one more step closer to me I’ll bloody kill you!”

“Katy, Katy, calm down love.” Don put both hands out in front of him. “It’s alright.”

“No it’s not, you murderer! It’s your fault alonalone! It’s your fault I’ll never be with the man I love!” Katy nearly sobbed, but held firm the knife, although her hand was shaking.

“I’ve got something I want to tell you. Something you need to know. After I said it I’ll be gone and you’ll never see me again.”

“What? What could you possibly have to say to me that would make any difference?”

“John is still alive.”

“No. No he’s not. Fuck you! What sort of sick joke is t Fu Fuck you! I’m going to give you 30 seconds to get out of this house or else I’m calling the police!”

“The only phone’s in the hallway and you’d have to get past me.”

“What, and you think I couldn’t?” She clutched the knife in her hand and swung it menacingly.

“Katy, you and I both know this is getting nowhere. Now, I don’t want to hurt you, just put down the knife. Put it down.”

Katy glared at Don. She slowly put the knife on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

“That’s a girl. Now, all I want to say is this. John is still alive. He had to get out of England. He’s in Kingston, Jamaica right now and he’s waiting on you.”

“I don’t believe you. John wouldn’t… Why would he need to get out of England?”

“Well, CIB was investigating him because of the deal he pulled to get your sentence reduced. That, and, let’s just say that the dealings that him and I had weren’t always that above board.”

“But where does that Claire woman come into all this?”

“I think you better ask him that yourself.”

“I see…”

Don reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “This is from John for you. He told me to give this to you.”

Katy opened the envelope. There was a plane ticket inside to Kingston with hame ame on it. It was due to go in three days’ time. The note read:

Katy, my love,

Certain things had to be done, and I’m so sorry about all this. I’ll explain everything soon. Come to Kingston with Don. We’ll be together, just like we planned.

I love you so much my sweet angel. I can’t wait to see you.

Love,
John x


“How do I know this isn’t some sick joke?” she asked.

“Does it look like a joke? That’s his handwriting.”

Katy studied the letter. It was indeed John’s handwriting. He always had terrible writing, very illegible.

“So let me get this straight, John’s alive and hiding out in Jamaica, where he went to get away from CIB?”

“Yes.”

“Who were only investigating him because of me.”

“Well, among other things.”

“And, that body who is buried in John’s grave, that’s not John?”

“No.”

“Whose body is it?”

“I don’t know. My mate took care of all of that. It was good enough to pass for John, and they had the warrant card and wallet to prove it was him so that was enough – no further identification needed. By that time John had gone so the body satisfied.”

“But why didn’t he tell me all this?”

“What were you to do about it? You werngednged up for another year and short of us busting you out of Holloway, there was no way you could come with us.”

“Why are you here now, though? You’re wanted for murder, among other things.”

“Because I owe him this, and besides, he wouldn’t stop going on about you.” Don leaned against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. “It was starting to piss me off.”

Katy turned around. She studied the letter, running her thumb over his name. John was alive. All this time he was alive. He let her believe he was dead for the past year, let her mourn for him, let her feel guilt when she tried to move on, let her live her life hating that Claire girl, who was as ill-informed as she was. She was overjoyed, but also, very very angry.

“So, what shall I tell him then when I speak to him tonight? I’ve been up all night waiting for you. Did you have a good time with the Guv?”

Katy glared at Don, “That’s none of your business. How long have you been following me?”

“Since you got let out.”

“I see…”

“Yeah. And I told John as well, she’s moved on with her life, mate. Get over her. But he insisted that I speak with you.”

Don took a step closer to Katy, “But the question is, Kathryn, what are you going to do? Are you coming with me or does the Guv or Tony Stamp light your fire these days?”

“I’m going to do nothing.” Katy handed the ticket back to Don, and turned around to look out the window.

“What do I tell John then?”

“Tell John that if he wanted me, he should have kept me. Tell him Kingston’s too hot. Tell him I’ve moved on. Tell him that I just don’t care anymore. You can say whatever you want. But, do be sure to tell him that as far as I’m concerned, he *is* dead.”

“Are you sure about this?”

Katy took a deep breath. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and her whole body was shaking with emotion and exhaustion.

“Yes.”

Don shrugged his shoulders, turned and left. Katy felt her knees go out from under her and she started to sob.

* * *

“So she said no, mate. Said that she had moved on. Also said that to her, you are dead or some rubbish like that. It’s over.”

“No, I don’t believe you. Katy wouldn’t do that.” John flipped on his computer screen and opened an image of her and him together. Katy was laughing, grinning broadly. John was also smiling a goofy smile. It was beautiful, they were so happy. He must have stared at that image a thousand times, and every time he did he still thought she looked lovely.

“Well, you better start believing it, because it’s done. She wants no parts of you.”

“Try her again.”

“Are you mad? She nearly came at me with a kitchen knife. Between her and your bloody ex sniffing around my days here are numbered. I’m leaving.”

“No, Don, please go talk to her one more time.”

“There’s no point, mate. Absolutely no point. She’s sure. She spent the night with Chris Deakin last night as well, so I reckon that’s where her intentions lay.”

“That’s rubbish.”

“No, it’s not. Listen, John, I’m leaving on thet flt flight out of here. It’s over. Any debt I had to you is finished. I’ll see you when I get back.”

Don hung up the phone. “Shit,” John said. He sat there, staring at her photograph. Why did she say no? What was wrong with her? This was their chance to be happy together and she refused it! After all this time, all those wasted years, she was just going to say no and walk away.

John flipped off his monitor. He laid on the bed and closed his eyes. It was a hot day, about 32 degrees C . He could hear people singing outside of his window. The sound came in waves, along with the heat, and the noise of the ocean crashing against the shore. For Mr. J. Bassett, formerly Boulton, lived in a cottage by the sea. He picked it because he thought it was the kind of place Katy would enjoy. When he was getting his affairs in order, he was sure to leave Katy his money, so she would bring it with her, and they could get set up. He wasn’t sure if they were going to stay in Kingston or move away, to somewhere else, but as long as Katy was by his side, he didn’t care. Now all that seemed irrelevant. She wasn’t coming to Kingston to be with him. She didn’t want him anymore.

A shard of conversation came back to him,

“What are you thinking about?” Katy said, as John stared off into space.

“Nothing…” John said, sng, ng, and he took a bite, “Do I need to say this is good, or do you know already?”

“Don’t lie to me John, I’ve known you too long. What are you thinking about?”

“Us… you. How stupid I was to let you go.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.”

“How I’m never going to make that mistake again.”

“I should hope not,” Katy said, sipping her wine, “You won’t get another chance.”

John looked at her for a long moment. He reached across the table and took her hand. “I won’t need another chance.”

He couldn’t shake the feeling that his chances had run out. Rolling over on to his , he, he thought to himself about his options. There was no way he was risking going back to England. It was by sheer luck that he managed to get out in the first place, and that Don’s dodgy passport worked. Secondly, he didn’t know her phone number to call her. He was sure that it had changed and she hadn’t had her old one renewed. Thirdly, he didn’t have anybody left who he trusted to get a message to her. Since Don was now out of it, there wasn’t anyone left.

John sighed. Maybe Don was right. Maybe he should just move on. But it was Katy he loved. He never loved anyone before in his life, and as much as he had tried in the seven years they were split, he didn’t meet anyone who could hold a candle to her. Surely that meant something.

John swore under his breath. Why did he have to let his life spin out of control like this? Why did he have to get involved with Don Beech? Don had a friend at Tintagel House who put him on to Claire when she first arrived at Sun Hill. Don had taken him for a pint and discussed their options. Option 1: John go out with Claire and put her off, or option 2: John and Don skip the country. When John protested about seeing Claire because he was involved with Katy, Don told him not to be daft, that it would only be for a few weeks, and not to worry about it.

“Go on mate, take her out to dinner, flirt a bit, maybe get your leg over. With your bird on the inside, lord knows it must be like a pent up geyser in there.” Don motioned to his trousers. The words echoed in John’s mind like a death sentence. Reluctantly, he went along with it. Unfortunately, it didn’t go to plan. Claire dropped the investigation about John and focused on Don. With him squirming under her glance, and any day, the truth was going to be revealed to Claire, the only choice they had left was to flee. There wasn’t time to tell Katy. He had to go then or else he would have been put in prison for a lot longer than four years.

If only he hadn’t gotten involved with Don’s dealings, if only Don didn’t coerce John into assisting him, he would be in Katy’s arms right now, and probably planning their wedding, maybe moving his stuff in her cute little cottage in Greenwich. Instead he sat there in the Caribbean, granted there were worse places to be, but it wasn’t good enough as she wasn’t there to share it with him.

And as for that rotten judge, well, he would have gladly taken the fall for that, and he didn’t care. At least he could have gone down honestly, doing it for the woman he loved. If only it was all that simple. But it wasn’t. He went along with Don because they were mates, because he didn’t wan see see Don get in trouble, and because it was his own head as well on the block. That’s what made him cheat on Katy and abandon her. And that’s the reason that she wasn’t going to be with him. He couldn’t blame her, really. He was feeling about as wretched as the deeds he committed against her. Abandonment, deceit, cheating, more abandonment… Why would a beautiful, lovely, sweet girl like Katy want someone as wretched as him? She’d be better off with Tony Stamp or Chris Deakin. John hoped she’d go for Tony. Chris would just end up playing her around. He was like that, a real ladies’ man, who never could keep it zipped up when it mattered. Even though John and Tonyn’t n’t see eye to eye, he knew that Tony would look out for and and treat her kindly, and be a solid, dependable, decent partner for her, albeit a bit boring.

John picked up the picture that he kept by his bedside. They had taken a trip to Windsor Castle one day, a long time ago. John had never seen it before. Katy was standing in an outer doorway and Queen Elizabeth I ‘s crest hung above it. She was smiling, happily at him, as he snapped the photo. He ran his thumb over her face, looking at her, and then pressed his lips against the glass.

“Good luck Katy. I hope whatever you do you’re happy.”