Whipped

But my deprived organs did win. With a jolt I sat up; gasping for air… desperately trying to fill my lungs.

Somehow my lungs hurt worse now; probably overfilling now they finally had their precious air supply back.

My hand gripped at my chest… and I began to wail. I felt too weak to move, so I sat there in the water; shivering violently and sobbing grossly.

Every muscle in my body felt weakened and completely useless.

Not even this could I do right.

The thought did strike me; that perhaps now my body was weak it would be easier… perhaps I’d pass out?

That made me cry out.

I think that was the last remaining piece of my sanity reacting to such horrible ideas.

I felt cold so suddenly, so cold I might have been sitting in an ice bath. But I was still too frozen to get out. So I stayed where I was.

And I stayed like that until she rushed in. Miss A was still wearing everything she had been wearing in there, with him…

Once again a wave of flashbacks hit me and I felt my lungs reaching for air once again.

“Sorry sweetie” she beamed, in a good mood. “It took a bit to clean up. You gave him just what he deserves” she bent over and ran her hand over my dripping wet hair.

She kept talking; oblivious to what I had just been through in the bathroom.

“Your bandage is soaked” she finally realized something, slowing down.

“S-sorry” I choked on the very air my lungs so craved…

“Don’t worry, we’ll change it.” She said, like it was nothing.

I blinked. Why wasn’t she mad? I had ignored a simple instruction!

“How is your cheek?”

My cheek? Oh… yeah. Kate had caught me scrubbing through layers of my own skin. The minute she asked it began to throb.

“It’ll be okay” I carefully brushed my hand over it.

“I’ll have a look at it” she smiled so kindly. “Come, let’s get you out of the water, you’re shivering” she stated the obvious… she had a habit of doing that.

I tried to stand but my legs had turned to jelly. There was no strength left in me.

She saw it and helped me sit back down so she could grab a towel before she tried again; assisting me to stand and as soon as I was about to fall she had wrapped the towel around me and held me in her arms… carrying me to my bedroom.

Having carefully laid me on the bed she kissed my forehead so gently, so caringly it almost hurt.

“I’ll be back in a moment” she brushed her hand over my cheek; making it buzz.

Miss A finally re-emerged with a tray, holding towels, various products and bandages… ready to nurse me.

I felt tears press behind my eyes and I fought a brave battle to keep them in. Why was she being so sweet with me? Why?

She wrapped a towel around my hair; laying another on the pillow I had soaked through during her short absence.

“Just lay still, I’ll do the work” she told me as I tried to sit up; wanting to help her help me at least.

I couldn’t do much else but be her rag-doll that she could move as she wanted.

She placed a towel under my arm and carefully removed the plastic bag, and then the wetted bandage.

“It’s healing” she sounded pleasantly surprised as she unveiled the mess I had made of my arm.

I didn’t know what to respond to that. So I just smiled in response. She smiled back at me.

Did I want it to heal?

“I have to disinfect it… can you bite into this?” she produced a clean cloth and I nodded. She placed it between my teeth and I closed my teeth around it.

“Good girl” she fondled my jaw “I’ll hurry”

What the hell.

And it did burn. My teeth almost bit the cloth to pieces as I screamed soundlessly into it, my body despite being weak trying to rise from the bed; trying to escape from the sensory assault.

Her face had an expression I just couldn’t deal with.

Worry.