The Boys From Tennessee

The Boys From Tennessee
Rating: NC17 Aftermath of rape and abuse.
Author: Chissy_Rose
Pairing:
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.

The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 43 (43/60)
A Lover’s Arms & Care

As they approached the hatch door Peter grew visibly nervous. He was afraid that the aftermath from what he’d been through would be like getting raped again. There would be questions and people would want to know what had happened to him. He’d have to tell Jack everything they’d inflicted on him so Jack would know what needed to be done. He wondered who was in the hatch and hated that soon everyone would know. Sayid looked at him and could see he was visibly shaken and pale. “It’s okay Peter. I’ll get you settled and go get Jack. You don’t have to tell anyone else what’s happened.” Sayid caressed the side of his face and said quietly to him, “We can just say that you were beaten up and managed to escape.”

“If they kidnapped me at gunpoint and did this to me. They can do this to any of us Sayid. Nobody is safe from them. They’ll have to be told at some point.” Peter replied sadly. Sayid took him by the arm and led him into the hatch. They could hear music coming from the computer room. Sayid walked with him down the hallway and led him into the bedroom area and helped him lay down on his side. Sayid took a blanket and draped it over him. Hurley and Charlie came in the room right behind them. They’d seen them come in and Sayid hurry Peter to the bunkbed. They asked if Peter was okay and what had happened. Peter took his right arm and draped it gently over his eyes to shut them out. They could tell he’d been badly beaten. He still had blood all over him. Sayid looked at them both and shook his head seriously at them both.

“He was badly beaten and torn up by the ‘Others’ but managed to escape. They whipped him with a leather whip. He’s lost a lot of blood and I’m still worried he might go into shock. Can one of you get him some water and a little food? He needs watching, but don’t bother him or make him talk if he doesn’t want to. He’s been through hell. I’m going to go find Jack and get him back here. Are you okay Peter?” Peter just nodded but didn’t say anything and didn’t move his arm. He didn’t want to give anyone eye contact at this point. He was afraid he’d break down. Charlie went to go get some water and food. Hurley sat down on the bench nearby and looked sadly at Peter. Sayid hadn’t been quite quick enough. Hurley had seen all the blood on Peter’s backside and had already guessed that Peter had been raped in addition to being beaten and whipped. He wanted to say something comforting to Peter but was afraid if he did that Peter might lose it. So Hurley decided to act as though he didn’t know at this point. Charlie came back in with the water and some food. Hurley asked him if he wanted some water to drink or some food, but Peter just shook his head no. Hurley tried again, “Dude, you don’t look good at all. Drink some water for me. You probably lost a lot of blood and need fluids. Just sit up a little on your side and drink what you can…”
Peter decided Hurley was right about the fluid loss so he took his arm away slowly and tried to sit up on his elbow. He moaned when he moved. Charlie and Hurley both flinched when he sat up, Peter looked really bad. They could tell he’d been tortured over several days. Hurley held the bottle of water out to him and Peter drank what he could and handed it back to Hurley. Charlie was dying to know what had happened, “Did the 'Others' do this to you? Where did it happen?”

“Don’t make him talk right now Charlie, Sayid said for us to leave him alone. He’s been through a lot,” Hurley replied. Peter looked upset so Charlie just shook his head and went back into the computer room and left Hurley to look after Peter. “I’m so sorry this happened to you Peter. If you want to talk about it later sometime let me know. I can tell they really hurt you,” Hurley said softly.

“They just about killed me Hurley. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through. I just need to rest right now.” Peter’s voice was weak and cracked as he spoke. Even his voice is messed up Hurley thought – he must have really been screaming. Hurley said okay and sat back down on the bench. They listened to the music coming down the hall. Peter wondered how long it would be before Jack got there and whether someone would let Sawyer know too. Peter closed his eyes and tried to relax, hoping he would sleep before Jack started examining him. He got his wish as exhaustion and his condition took him into sleep. He woke up to hear Jack’s and Sayid’s voices coming down the hall. They came in and Jack’s face had worry written all over it. He could tell that Sayid had told him all he knew about what had happened to Peter. Jack walked over, bent down, cradled Peter’s head in his hands and kissed him on the forehead. Tears welled up in Peter’s eyes. He was trying to hold it together so he could tell Jack what they’d done to him.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked first.

Peter shook his head no, “I’m alive but I don’t know why I am.” Jack’s forehead furrowed with concern. “Where’s Sawyer?” Peter asked.

“We couldn’t find him, but we left word with several people that he needed to come here because of you.” Sayid replied.

Peter was shaking and Jack moved his hand up to Peter’s forehead. “You’ve got fever – that’s not good. I’m going to need to examine you and you’ll need to tell me anything important about what happened physically.” Jack was aware that Hurley and Sayid both were still in the room and was deciding if he wanted Sayid to stay or not. “Could you both give us some privacy now? Sayid, don’t leave the hatch. I might need your help still.” Sayid nodded yes as he and Hurley left.

Jack waited until they were out of earshot before he resumed. “I’m so sorry this happened to you of all people on this damn island. I don’t know why it had to be you they got. I’ve been so damned worried about you I felt sick. Sayid said you were in bad shape. He said you’d been gang raped and tortured.” Jack caressed Peter’s face lightly but Peter still grimaced, moaned and pulled away from his touch. He turned on an additional light in the room so he could see well. “I’m gonna need to undress you Peter so I can see the extent of your injuries.” Peter’s eyes welled up again as he nodded. Jack lifted the blanket away from Peter and felt his own stomach tighten up. Peter was covered and caked with blood and filth, and as Sayid had described, he was in bad shape.

Peter was still shaking. “Jack I need to tell you so you’ll know what to do.”

“I’ll be able to see a lot of it Peter, I know you’re trying to hold it together. Don’t talk if…” Jack was saying, but Peter cut him off again.

“No I need to tell you some of it before it gets the better of me. OK? Just let me talk.” he asserted. Jack just nodded. Peter sat up slowly and moaned and cringed as he did. Jack pulled a chair up close and sat down and started to unbutton Peter’s shirt. “I was gang-raped by six men Jack, over and over for two days and a night, I think. They were trying to really hurt me. They only gave me rum to drink so I got intoxicated and dehydrated, and one of the drinks was spiked with a ‘Roofie’. They fucked me and tore my ass up. I’ve never had bleeding this bad anally. They were sexually torturing me. They kept making me come over and over till I was having dry orgasms, and they’d keep on fucking me after I came which was awful. My cock and balls are both scratched up, raw and bleeding from all the abuse. My mouth’s torn up and raw. They split my lip hitting me and the inside of my mouth and tongue is cut up too. My throat’s killing me. They kept making me deep throat them and I’ve just about lost my voice from screaming. One of the SOBs bit me on both my breasts, my neck and shoulder and drew blood and sucked on it. They beat the shit out of me and ganged up on me all at once towards the end. The youngest guy whipped me with a cat-o’nine tails whip dipped in salt water. My back’s still bleeding. Don’t try to take the shirt off yet Jack. He threw the salt water onto my back and I passed out tied up to a tree. I hung by my wrists for hours. My wrists and hands are all cut up from struggling against the ropes…I came to and they were gone. I couldn’t get myself untied. I thought they were gonna kill me Jack, and then I thought I was gonna die again when they were gone cause I couldn’t get myself untied. I’d have probably died before y’all found me if it hadn’t been for Rousseau. She found me and took me to her shelter overnight and got me back to the lagoon this morning and to Sayid.” Peter stopped talking; the hot tears ran down his face. Jack looked really upset and angry at what Peter had told him. He had tightened both his hands into white knuckle fists not even realizing he had done it.

“The bastards will pay for this somehow. Sooner or later, we’ll make them pay for it… Let me look you over. Can you sit over here on the bench?” he asked. Peter nodded and Jack helped him move over to the bench, and put a thick folded towel down for him to sit on. Jack put on a pair of examination gloves and began to remove the shirt from Peter’s back. Peter whimpered and cried out as Jack took it off. Some of the blood had dried into the shirt and was tearing the wounds open again as he removed it. “Umph, Jeez…” Jack said as he looked at his back. Jack threw down the shirt and went over to a nearby trash can and threw up into it. Peter was barely holding himself together. He knew it looked bad if a seasoned surgeon like Jack threw up because of it. Jack wiped his mouth off and came back over and touched Peter on his face and apologized for throwing up. “I know that wasn’t professional, but it got to me because it’s your back and it’s you Peter. You know how I feel about you – it just got to me.” Peter nodded. Jack looked at his wounds, the bite marks and raw and tender areas. We’re gonna have to put you into the shower Peter so I can clean you good. I’m going to have to suture some of the wounds. You’ve got one on the edge of your jaw that needs suturing.” Peter groaned and muttered “Shit – I don’t know if I can stand it.” Jack checked his mouth inside and out and shook his head. “You need to come out of the pants now so I can check you Peter.” Peter sobbed quietly – his face was distraught. He didn’t really even want Jack checking him there but he knew he needed to. He stood up and unzipped and Jack helped him to step out of his pants. He checked Peter’s cock and balls and winced involuntarily at what he saw. Peter was even bloody here. He took out some lube and Peter sobbed again. Jack’s eyes were welling up. He was imagining what it must have been like for Peter who was so sensitive to have been raped and hurt over and over again by so many men. He knew that even if he was careful that it would be traumatic for Peter to be examined. He took Peter’s hands in his and looked into his eyes. “I know you’re really torn up. I know even if I’m as gentle as I can be it’s going to hurt you and make you remember the pain. I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to look and check to see what your injuries are inside of you. I’ll only use one finger and I’ll be as gentle as I can be. I’m sorry…” Peter was crying, but he nodded okay and turned around and bent over for Jack. Jack groaned quietly and when he put his hands on Peter, Peter could tell Jack was shaking slightly. Jack applied the lube and checked Peter out very slowly and carefully. Peter couldn’t help but cry out softly. Jack finished quickly and told Peter he could sit back down, handing Peter a towel to drape over himself. He couldn’t look in Peter’s eyes initially, Peter was even worse off than he’d imagined. A tear rolled down Jack’s cheek and Peter took his thumb and wiped it away. “Sorry.” Jack whispered, “I’m so sorry…” Jack sat quietly for a few moments thinking about what needed to be done.

“I’m going to need to wash you real well. You’ve got blood, semen, spit, dirt, and who knows what else all over you. I wish Rousseau had gotten you to bathe. You’ve already got infection – you’re running a temp. Getting you clean is the first step. We probably need to give you a small enema to clean you out down there too,” Jack explained.

“Oh God, I don’t know if I can take any more pain there.” Peter whimpered.

“We need to get their cum out of you. That’s a breeding area and we need to clean it out. I’ll be as gentle as possible. Then I’ll have to suture you up a lot of places, and then apply some antiseptic ointment. We’ve got some aloe lotion that we can put on raw places like your wrists. I’m going to ask Sayid to help me with you in the shower.” Jack handed him a large towel and Peter draped it around himself. He was dreading this – he knew it would be painful. Jack walked back towards the main area to get Sayid and they returned shortly. Jack asked if Peter had any other clothes there and Peter replied he had a bag of clean clothes he had left in the hatch and where to find them. Jack got Peter’s clothes, and gathered up what he would need in the shower area. Sayid walked around behind Peter and looked at his back. “Sons of bitches…we need to kill them for this!” Sayid muttered. Jack walked back in just as Peter spoke, “They knew who I was, Sayid, they called me by name and they knew I’d had sex with other men from the plane. They said they could’ve kidnapped Claire, Kate, Sun or one of the women and impregnated them – so I’d saved one of the women from being gang-raped. But they told me they’d take anyone here they wanted – man or woman and do the same thing to them and we couldn’t stop them.” Jack and Sayid looked at each other, both had rage in their eyes and both shook their heads. These “Others” were dangerous and a menace to them all. They’d demonstrated what they were capable of with Peter. Jack re-focused on Peter and he helped him stand. Sayid went ahead of them to the shower area. Jack held him by his arm and walked with him towards the shower. Hurley and Charlie saw his back, grimaced and were speechless. Jack got him to the shower as soon as he could. Sayid was already stripped off and was warming up the shower water. Jack had laid everything out he was going to need. Jack stripped off but put on latex gloves. He didn’t want to introduce any more germs when he was cleaning Peter. Sayid stepped into the warm stream and gently pulled Peter into it. Peter was extremely tense – he didn’t want to turn his back towards the stream of water. His injuries on the front of his body were already stinging. Jack slipped past him and took the soap and started washing Peter while Sayid stepped around to his back in case Peter passed out from pain. Peter grimaced and whimpered as Jack began carefully washing him. He stopped frequently to rinse out the washcloth he was using. “I’m going to need to clean your back, Peter. Turn around and hold onto Sayid. We need to let the water run on you a couple of minutes.” Jack told Peter.

Peter looked sorrowful, “I’m afraid of the pain Jack, it’s gonna hurt like hell. I’ve been through this before.”

“Hold onto Sayid. I know it’s going to hurt. Let it out – yell if you need to. But it’s got to be done. They probably threw ocean water on you. It’s got to be cleaned out.” Jack took him and slowly turned him around so his back was in the water stream. Peter hissed and pushed against Sayid’s body as though he wanted to escape. After a few moments, Jack started to wash him. Peter thrashed and screamed loud enough that Hurley called out and asked if they were okay. Sayid said they were okay. They realized shortly that Sawyer had arrived in the hatch in time to hear Peter’s scream. Sawyer was standing in the bathroom trying to figure out what was going on and what Jack and Sayid were doing to Peter.

“What the fucking hell is going on? What are you doing to Peter? What happened?” Sawyer yelled.

“Calm down Sawyer and stop yelling for Christ’s sake. You’re not helping things.” Jack ordered. Sawyer had his hand on Sayid’s arm trying to get to Peter. “Sawyer stop right now and look at Peter. He’s been hurt badly and we’re trying to clean him up. Give me time to fix him and you can talk to him all you want after that.”

“What happened? Are you okay?” Sawyer asked Peter. Sayid had stepped back some so Sawyer could see him better. Sawyer put his hand on Peter’s face and jaw and Peter flinched.

Peter was glad to see Sawyer but was feeling overwhelmed. “I was gang raped by six men, Sawyer; they beat me and tortured me for two days. They got me drunk and tore me up and whipped me before they left…” Peter was trembling. Sawyer looked horrified as he realized how badly Peter had been hurt.

“Oh God, I am so sorry Peter. Is there anything I can do?” Sawyer asked as he ran his hand through Peter’s hair and pulled him towards him and gently kissed him before stepping back.

“Don’t leave the hatch… I want to talk to you when Jack gets finished with me.” Peter said quietly. “Don’t tell the others about the rapes, they only think I got beaten and whipped.”

Sawyer nodded, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be out here when Jack gets finished with you. You need me, I’ll come.” Sawyer went back out into the main area and they could hear Sawyer cursing.

Jack went back to cleaning his back and Peter still was crying out at times from the pain, though Jack could tell he was holding back. Jack finally finished cleaning Peter and giving him the enema to help clean him inside. He carefully dried Peter off. Jack and Sayid also both dried off and dressed. “I need to get you back to that bench in the bunkroom so I can suture some of your wounds and put dressings on them. Wrap up in this towel and let’s walk back in there.” They walked back towards the bunkroom and Sawyer followed right behind them. Jack didn’t say anything to him. He knew it wouldn’t do any good. Sawyer wanted to be close by Peter. Jack told Sayid thanks for his help. Jack decided to let Peter hold onto Sawyer’s hands or arms while he worked on him, but he instructed Sawyer no other touching. Peter had open wounds everywhere and Jack didn’t want them contaminated further. It took over an hour for Jack to finish working on Peter. Sawyer was sure he had bruises from Peter squeezing him so hard. Jack asked Sawyer to help him get Peter into underwear. Jack ran his hand through Peter’s hair and told him he should lie down and try and rest for a while. Peter gave Jack a kiss and thanked him for everything. Jack put away his medical kit and went to rinse out the trashcan and clean up. Sawyer helped Peter get into bed but stood there unsure what to do next.

Peter looked up sadly at Sawyer. “I’m so torn up and sore I pretty much can’t stand to be touched but I wanna hold on to you. I can’t stand anything up against my back, but if you’ll lie down and face away, I can spoon against you for a while.” This was all Sawyer needed to hear. He stripped down to his jeans and carefully got into bed with Peter, letting Peter move against him and drape his arm over him. Sawyer took his hand, kissed it and held it in his. After a while he felt Peter begin to relax against him and could tell he finally was sleeping. Jack came back and climbed into the top bunk. He was exhausted from worrying and then patching up Peter. After a while Sawyer heard Jack snoring softly and knew it had been stressful for Jack too. Sawyer woke up startled and wasn’t sure initially what had woke him up. Then he heard Peter moaning no in his sleep and he knew Peter was dreaming and probably in the depths of a nightmare. Peter was begging someone to please stop and was thrashing in the bunkbed. Sawyer still had his back to Peter but was afraid if he rolled over he’d push Peter onto his back. He heard Jack getting down off the top bunk to check on Peter whose agitation was growing. He was begging loudly and was obviously very upset. Sawyer raised himself up on his arms and tried to turn over gently. Jack was trying to wake Peter up and was afraid he was going to injure himself further since he was thrashing about in the bed struggling. Jack grabbed him by his wrists but winced when he remembered how raw they’d been. Peter woke up but was in that netherworld between sleep and wake, between nightmare and reality as he struggled with Jack as though he was being raped again. He cried out and the look on his face hurt Jack to the quick. He kept saying it was okay over and over but it took quite a while before Peter realized that he wasn’t in danger but was with Jack and Sawyer in the hatch. He finally told Jack to let him go and he got up out of the bunkbed with Sawyer following behind him. Peter was shaking like a leaf. Jack and Sawyer both asked him if he was okay, but Peter just shook his head no. He looked Sawyer in the eyes saying, “I need something to drink. I know you’ve gotta have something alcoholic still stashed somewhere. I need you to get it for me.” Jack was thinking this was a bad idea.

Sawyer was the one that said it, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea baby brother. You said they got you drunk. Plus you’re still real upset, might not be…”

“Damn it Sawyer, I need a fucking drink. It’ll calm me down. I’m practically having a damn anxiety attack. Get me something to drink. I….fuck…” Peter was breathing hard and erratically. Jack gave Sawyer a hard look and shook his head no.

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t have it. You shouldn’t be drinking trying to control anxiety – that’s a bad idea. I’ve got something that can sedate you and help you to relax and I’ll go get it. You’re safe here. Stay here with Sawyer and I’ll be back in about 20 minutes.” Jack gave Sawyer a knowing look and Sawyer gave a little nod yes. Jack walked out of the room. Peter was standing up with his arms crossed and pulled tightly to himself, looking down at the floor and not making eye contact with Sawyer. Sawyer stepped towards Peter and said his name. Peter pulled back from him but Sawyer wasn’t going to accept that. “You wanna talk about it?” he asked. Peter’s eyes welled up with tears but he still wasn’t making eye contact with Sawyer. Sawyer turned around and pulled the mattress off the bunk bed and onto the floor. Peter backed up, but Sawyer reached out and took him by one hand. “Sit down with me on the mattress; I just wanna hold you next to me…come on…” He pulled Peter’s hand gently and he sat down on the mattress and pulled Peter towards him. “Sit facing me, put your legs over mine and just hold onto me,” he directed Peter. Peter did as Sawyer told and practically melted into Sawyer. Sawyer kissed him twice gently and put his arms carefully around Peter. Peter was breathing more raggedly and Sawyer could tell he was struggling, wanting to talk and trying not to go to pieces. They sat intertwined for several minutes not speaking while Sawyer stroked and petted him, trying to be comforting. He felt Peter’s tears on his shoulder.

“They took everything from me Sawyer. I don’t have anything left – they’ve used me up.”

“They didn’t take me and they didn’t take Jack. And you’re alive and back with us now and we’re here for you. You’ve got two guys that love you and accept you Pete.”

“Y’all are the only fucking reason I’m still going… but they took everything else. I feel so dirty. I’m so ashamed – it’s my fault they got me. I shoulda never gone to the lagoon by myself. I’ll never feel safe again. I couldn’t even fucking protect myself. It was the worse thing I’ve ever been through. I’ve never been that badly abused. They kept torturing me and raping me over and over. I thought it was going to never end. My whole body hurts and is torn up. The emotional abuse was horrific too. They called me a faggot, a whore and a cunt and kept saying I liked being hurt cause I kept coming. They said no real man would roll over and let other men do those things to ‘em unless they wanted it. They threatened to cut off my cock and balls and mutilate me or that they were gonna kill me. I was so fucking scared Sawyer… I thought I was gonna die…” Peter’s voice cracked as he began to cry and sob softly against Sawyer.

“It wasn’t your fault Pete, you did what you had to in order to survive… let it all out, it’s okay,” Sawyer whispered as he held Peter tighter. Peter was sobbing as he tried to let some of what he’d been holding inside out. He was still crying uncontrollably when Jack returned. Jack walked in and sat down on the edge of the mattress and smoothed Peter’s hair. Peter tried to quit crying but it took him a while before he could quit. He finally sat back from Sawyer and wiped his face. Jack caressed his face and handed him a pill and a bottle of water. Peter took it. He looked so forlorn that Jack and Sawyer both sighed sadly that he was in so much pain.

“That’ll start kicking in soon Peter. You probably need to get some more rest. We oughta get this mattress back up on the bed frame.” Jack said. Jack stood up and helped Peter get on his feet. Sawyer picked up the mattress and put it back up on the bed and adjusted the sheets and covers. He pulled Peter to him and kissed him gently on the mouth. Jack felt a pang, and it was as though Sawyer knew what he was feeling.

“I think Jack would like some time with you now. He was worried sick about you. You okay with me going for a while and coming back later?” Peter nodded okay and Jack gave Sawyer a small grateful smile. Jack pulled off his outer clothes and got in the bed after Peter, snuggling with him. He could feel Peter begin to relax as he talked to him soothingly.