The Boys From Tennessee

The Boys From Tennessee
Rating: NC17 M/M slash.
Author: Chissy_Rose
Pairing: Sawyer & Peter
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.

The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 40 (40/60)
Fireside Revelations

The next morning Jack got up early so he could head back to the cave to check on things there and pick up a couple of things. Peter woke up when Jack left, but turned back over and went to sleep again. He woke up when he felt someone slip into the bed with him and wrap their arms around him. “Back so soon?” he whispered.

“I ain’t Jackass baby brother,” Sawyer said as he kissed Peter on the neck. Peter sighed, Sawyer didn’t lack audacity. Peter could feel Sawyer’s naked body next to his and Sawyer’s hard-on pressing against him.

“What are you doing here Sawyer?” Peter asked.

“Didn’t think I needed an invite baby brother,” Sawyer said a little louder.

“Why do you call me baby brother? We’re cousins,” Peter asked curious.

“I don’t know. I got nicknames for everybody. It’s just an affectionate name. Neither of us had brothers and you’re almost ten years younger than me and we are blood-related. I could call you something else if you want,” Sawyer answered as he turned Peter onto his back.

“No, that’s okay, it’s better than some things you’ve called me that piss me off,” Peter replied. “I thought we were gonna talk about things first.”

“Well, the Doc had you to himself most of yesterday and all of last night, so I just wanted some time with you to myself.” Sawyer was kissing him across his collarbone and up his neck towards his mouth.

“Damn it, slow down Sawyer.” Peter’s breathing was faster. Sawyer’s efforts were having the desired effect.

“Don’t wanna slow down. Wanna fuck you and have you fuck me.” Sawyer ran one hand behind Peter’s head and kissed Peter slowly but firmly, his other hand ran across Peter’s breast and pinched his nipple. Peter moaned and opened his mouth to protest and Sawyer slipped in his tongue. Peter was responding back to everything he was doing. Sawyer knew he was going to let him fuck him. Peter hadn’t been able to resist his seduction attempts yet. He ran one hand down and gently caressed Peter’s cock and balls.

“Jesus Sawyer! Don’t touch my balls, they still hurt thanks to you,” Peter cringed.

“Sorry, sorry. I won’t touch ‘em,” Sawyer whispered again. He didn’t stop kissing Peter. He was afraid if he stopped Peter wouldn’t have sex with him and he really wanted him. Sawyer picked up the lotion near the bed and turned Peter back over onto his front side and then pulled him up onto his knees and hands. Sawyer grimaced when he saw Peter’s balls, he hadn’t known he’d hurt him that bad. He lotioned up and slowly inserted two fingers into Peter. Peter was moaning like it was okay and Sawyer made sure he was relaxed before he pulled out and thrust his cock into him. He reached around Peter and grabbed his cock and moved his hand up and down it. Peter moved his own right hand to his cock, “Let me do it Sawyer. I’m sore still.” Sawyer said okay and fucked him as slowly as he could for a while until Peter asked him to speed up. Sawyer didn’t last as long as he normally did before he came. He figured it was probably because he was afraid of hurting Peter more than he already had. Peter came not long after, and he cried out from the discomfort. Sawyer pulled out and lay down next to Peter. He kissed him tenderly and asked him if he was okay. Peter said he was, but he didn’t really feel that way. Sawyer caressed him lightly for a few minutes and Peter pulled the covers back up over them and turned back towards the side of the tent and closed his eyes. When Sawyer got up to get dressed, he kissed Peter on the shoulder, but Peter didn’t move; he just lay still. Sawyer dressed and knew that Peter was still upset and he’d have to talk to him like he wanted. Sawyer left quietly and headed back to his tent.

Sawyer ate something and decided to sit outside and read. In about an hour Kate came by and they talked some. He’d apologized for what he had said and tried to smooth it over with her. He asked if they could have a truce and she finally agreed. She reminded him that he needed to check with Jack about his dressing. He asked her to go with him to the hatch and she agreed.

When they got to the hatch there was no sign of anyone there initially, but the warning alarm was going off. They found that Locke and Jack had been trapped in the armory and locked in. Kate got them out as Sawyer put in the code. They learned that Michael had knocked out Locke and then locked Jack in the armory with him so he could go into the jungle to search for his son Walt. Jack, Sawyer and Locke decided they should try to find Michael and bring him back with him until they could all go out and look for Walt. Jack asked Kate to see if Peter could help finish out that shift in the hatch while they were gone, so she ran up the beach and got him to go to the Hatch. Jack passed out guns to himself, Locke and Sawyer but he didn’t give one to Kate. He asked Kate to stay behind, that they didn’t need any additional people going. Kate didn’t like being left behind – she knew how to shoot a gun as well as any of them. Jack, Locke and Sawyer had walked quite a distance across the island when they heard some gunshots nearby in the dark. They went towards that direction and stopped to argue about whether they should go back and they ran into the Others. They had a confrontation in which the man that had kidnapped Walt and shot Sawyer told them to stay on their side of the island, that the Others were letting them live on it. He told them to disarm themselves and put their guns down on the ground and called them by name. When they refused, he played his trump card – the Others had captured Kate trying to follow them through the jungle. He forced them to give up their weapons they were carrying to save Kate’s life. They left with Kate and headed back to the beach campsite. Jack was livid with Kate for risking not only her life but theirs and for causing them to give up those weapons. Sawyer told her he would have probably followed them too in an effort to help, but that maybe she should have listened to Jack this time. They’d been gone over 24 hours by the time they had made it back to the campsite. Peter was glad they’d all made it back alive after hearing both Sawyer and Jack talk about what had occurred. Sawyer mentioned to Peter about Locke calling him James Ford now and questioning him as to why he’d been using a different name. Peter told him that he thought Kate had figured it out that they were related – somehow she knew Sawyer’s real name and was shocked when she’d heard Peter’s. He shook his head – it wouldn’t take very long before people figured out he and Sawyer were cousins who’d been having sex together. There wasn’t anything they could do about it as Locke seemed persistent in wanting to call Sawyer James. Peter went back to his shelter and Jack joined him there shortly. Peter could tell Jack was really stressed and pissed both at what had happened. The fact that the Others had taken the guns from them didn’t bode well for their security. Peter fixed them both something to eat. Jack was exhausted between all the emotions he’d gone through and two days of walking through the jungle. Peter talked Jack into letting him give him a massage to relax him. Jack was surprised at how well Peter did at it. Peter said he’d dated a massage therapist for a while and had learned a lot from him. They turned in but Jack was still restless in the bed. Peter couldn’t sleep so he got up and got dressed. He pulled on a windbreaker and decided to walk down the beach to the campfire where it would be warmer. He was only slightly surprised when he got there and found Kate sitting, staring into the fire. It was after midnight, but she was too wound up to sleep herself. She looked so forlorn, it hurt his heart to see her look like that. He walked up to her and she glanced at him. He asked if she minded if he sat down and she shook her head no. He threw a couple more logs on the fire and sat down close to her, almost touching. He sighed and she glanced over at him.

“You okay Kate? I heard about everything that happened,” Peter said quietly so that no one could overhead them talking. Kate’s eyes teared up.

“I made a mess of everything. Jack thinks I’m worthless and stupid for following them and getting captured and costing us those guns. He’s pissed at me and I guess he’s got a right to be, but he pissed me off telling me I couldn’t go with them – it was just because I’m a woman. I can probably out-shoot Jack.”

Peter reached over and took Kate’s hands in his, held them and caressed them soothingly with his hands. “It’s easy to piss Jack off Kate. He’s got that type A, surgeon personality. He thinks he’s supposed to be perfect and some level he thinks other people should be too. Trouble is, you can’t live up to that. Nobody can, not even Jack. He struggles with it every day.” They both sat quietly for a while watching the fire burn. The wind off the ocean was cold and Kate shivered.

“Scoot closer to the fire and let me sit behind you. I’ll behave. You’ll be warmer with me sitting behind you,” Peter suggested. Kate lifted one eyebrow and looked into his eyes. “I promise I’ll behave,” Peter asserted, so Kate scooted closer and Peter sat down behind her and put his arms loosely around her. “That any better?” he asked after a few moments and Kate shook her head yes. It was more comforting than she’d realized to be able to lean against Peter, and it was warmer. Peter sighed again.

“What are you still doing up the late? Are you okay?” Kate asked, suddenly aware of how much he was sighing. He shook his head no.

“I’m never really okay Kate. I’ve had too much happen to me in my life that I can’t run away from. I wish I could have amnesia sometimes – that I could forget what’s been done to me and what I’ve done to others. You ever feel like that?” Kate shook her head yes. “I thought so. I can see it in your eyes sometimes and hear it in your voice. You wanna get away from your past just as badly as I want to get away from mine.” He could tell Kate was tearing up and he was fighting tears himself. “You can’t have done anything any worse Kate than what I’ve done…”

“Don’t be so sure Peter. I’ve done terrible things. I’m probably going to hell for sure. You have no idea what I’ve been through,” Kate whispered.

“You’d be surprised at some of the things I’ve done to survive Kate. I’ve done things that no person should ever have to do. I’ve even had to kill people…” Peter felt Kate stiffen as he spoke and feared he had scared her with his admission. “Shit. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” He moved as though he might get up. She put her hand on his arm to make him stay.

“I’ve done as bad Peter and I’ve been running and moving ever since.”

“My old man was an alcoholic pedophile and pornographer. I’m probably one of the most abused males in the US,” Peter admitted. He put his head in his hands. He hadn’t planned on ever admitting that to Kate. “Christ… I didn’t wanna tell you about that.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I had no idea Peter. But you couldn’t help what he did to you. You’re not responsible for that.”

“He got sent to prison for what he did to me, but he escaped. I ended up killing him and his best friend in self defense. I stabbed him to death. I have nightmares where I live it all again, see his blood… I took his life and I still feel guilty.”

“Don’t tell anyone Peter, but I killed my old man too. He was an abusing sleazy alcoholic that I was ashamed I even came from. He was a drunk and he used to beat my mom and I couldn’t get her leave him and I couldn’t protect her any more. He ran around and slept with other women. I couldn’t stand that he beat her like that. I blew up the house with him in it. Everything went downhill from there…” she said very quietly.

“I’m sorry you went through hell too Kate. People have no idea what growing up in a situation like that does to you. It sucks the life right out of you.”

Kate nodded, “I think your life was much more traumatic than mine. God I am so sorry you went through all that. I guess it explains why you’re so wild.”

“I’m so fucked up Kate. You have no idea. All the shit I’ve been through has left its mark on me. It’s why I’ve never been able to keep a long term relationship.” He wiped his face with his sleeve. They sat together for a long time, neither one speaking. Peter finally took her hand and kissed the back of it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to depress both of us.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m just sad for what you’ve been through is all.”

Peter gave her a little smile. “Don’t worry about Jack. He’ll get over it. We’ll have other things to worry about. Try to let it go.” Kate nodded and asked Peter if he wanted to sleep the rest of the night in her tent.

“No, I wish I could though. Jack’s in my tent and he’ll worry if I’m not there so I better go back this time. That was sweet of you to offer though.” They both got up and he walked her back to her tent and gave her a hug before leaving for his solitary walk back up the beach. As he walked back towards his place he felt as though his emotions were flooding him. There had been so much that had been going on. He’d been nervous and anxious when both Jack and Sawyer had gone to hunt for Michael in the jungle with Locke. He’d worried that something might happen to them and he didn’t know how he could stand it if it had. He’d felt such relief at their return and hadn’t been able to tell either one of them how anxious he’d been. He sat down and stared out at the ocean and felt the tears blurring his vision. He put his head down on his knees and cried hard, letting all the emotions that were overwhelming him out. He didn’t even know that anyone was there until he heard Sawyer’s voice calling his name coming up the beach. Sawyer asked him if he was okay, and Peter shook his head no and put it back down on his knees. Sawyer sat down behind him with Peter between his legs and wrapped his arms around Peter. “It’s okay Pete,” Sawyer said quietly. Peter was trembling but still crying. He turned and melted into Sawyer’s arms and held onto him tightly. Sawyer stroked his hair and face and kissed him on his forehead. “What’s the matter Pete?”

Peter wiped his tears from his face. “I was so damn scared and anxious Sawyer. I know I shouldn’t have been but I couldn’t help it.”

“About what? Something happen while we were gone?”

“No, I got to thinking about what if they killed you both. I couldn’t have lived if they’d done that. I wouldn’t have been able to stand it. You and Jack are my whole world now. I couldn’t go on living if they’d taken you from me.” Peter wiped more tears from his face.

“Well we came back fine. You shouldn’t be thinking about killing yourself if something was to happen to us anyway. It would hurt our souls if you killed yourself on account of us. You’re so young, there’ll be other lovers. Neither of use would want you to do anything to yourself if something was to happen to us. This is a crazy place Pete, lots of people have died here, but you have to keep on going and not give up. It hurts me to hear you talk like that. You know I love you and care about you. I don’t want you thinking about killing yourself any more. We just gotta take things one day at a time.”

“I want you and Jack. I don’t want you going off on any more rafts either Sawyer. You almost died and I’d never have had you. I need you now, like I need air. Can’t survive without you.” Sawyer moved the hair out of Peter’s eyes and kissed him lightly.

“I think we both need to go to sleep. Can I sleep here with you and Jack?” Sawyer asked. Peter nodded yes and Sawyer got up and pulled Peter to his feet. They went inside his shelter, stripped off and slipped into bed with Jack. It was quite a while before either finally fell asleep.