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That One Time

By: IDontKnowWhatImDoing
folder S through Z › Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 9
Views: 3,233
Reviews: 5
Recommended: 1
Currently Reading: 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock or any associated characters, and do not profit from this work.
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Drunk Texting

It's all in text messages. Hope it's not too annoying to read. It's long and gets silly but I couldn't stop imagining Sherlock getting a little silly if he drinks. And the typos are on purpose, even the German typos. Translations are in the brackets.



That one time Sherlock drunk texted John.



John I'm Bored!

-But you just got there

Yes I'm aware of that thank you

-Work on the case

Already solved, hence my being Bored

-how? you only got off the plane two hours ago

FBI met me at airport, read the case file in the car

-but you read it before you left

They had withheld important details

-that probably didn't go over well did it

No not really

-what did you do ?

Might have called them morons

-might?

And might had told them to sod off for wasting my time.

-you'll never get another case from them will you?

This is why I needed you to be here

-I can see that. Where are you now?

The hotel. I booked an earlier flight to come home. Ill be back tomorrow

-ok I'm going to lay down again

Not feeling any better?

-not really

You should go see a doctor

-cute

.. ..

John it's so boring here

-go watch some telly

Fine. Go back to sleep

.. ..

American tv is strange

-is it?

Yes more strange than the nonsense you watch

-its not nonsense

If you say so

.. ..

I cant watch this without you

-why

It's no fun when you're not telling me to shut up

-shut up and let me sleep

much better

.. ..

Are you still trying to sleep?

-no, thats not going to be possible is it?

what you are doing?

-reading and feeling like shit, instead of sleeping. you?

Sampling everything in the little frig

-the mini bar?

Yes that

-you know you have to pay for whatever you open

Oh

.. ..

the hotel has a jacuzzi

-then go use it

want me to send you pictures of me all wet in just my pants?

-Did you drink the alcohol in the minibar?

if i'm paying for it might as well do more than sample

-How much did you drink?

want me to send those pictures or not?

-yes

.. ..

john have you ever done karaoke?

-where are you?

the hotel has a pub

-I thought you were going to the jacuzzi

apparently pants is not the proper attire for a hot tub

-so you went to the pub?

yes i just said that didnt i

-are you drinking?

no

-are you lying?

maybe.

only one pint

-you hate beer

yes i certainly do

but im trying to be not bored like you suggested

so i dont bother you and you can sleep

-i didn't suggest drinking and please tell me your not singing.

no but i think i know what to get u for your birthday

.. ..

ive been told its a bar not a pub

-are you still drinking?

i stopped drinking the beer

-that doesnt answer my question

i thought you were trying to sleep

.. ..

long island ice tea doesnt taste like tea

-stop drinking and go to your room

its boring in my room

.. ..

im getting flirted on john

-thats great sherlock

the ladies love my accent . thats what they keep saying

-really? are you sure it not your witty charm

are you jealous?

-how many iced teas have you had?

only 1, kathy told me to try a amareddo thing.

-who is kathy?

ameretto sour

amaretto. they taste like candy. better than the tea

-how many of those have you had?

more than 1

-who is kathy?

my new lady friend. u are jeolous.

-no im not

.. ..

ive showed everyone pictures of you

-why?

so you wont be jealous. there calling you my boytoy

-How much have you had to drink

have to go, my turn to sing

.. ..

john ive discovered something

-what?

drinkng makes me horny

-everything makes you horny

hornier, ur lucky im not into women their all over me

-Please go to your room

.. ..

pam is teaching me german

-who is pam?

pam kathys friend she knows germain

-you already know German

ich wil dich guess what that means [I want you]

-i know what that means

you speak german?

.. ..

john are you there?

-yes

the hot tub is very hot

-you need to go back to your room

i'm gonna send you those picutes now

-just go to bed

there i sent one, guess what that is

-oh my god

guess

-put your pants back on!

-Now!

.. ..

your lovely john

are you mad john

john?

your cute when ur mad

Du bis sehr sexy [You're so sexy]

john! i want u

-please go to bed

ur mad arent you

.. ..

kathy said i can stay up as late as i want

im a grown man

-Go to bed

she sayd that your being a bad boyfriend and ur not the boss of me

-sherlock your drunk!

she says your being a ass

-I dont care what kathy says

dont be a ass

-Go to Bed!

not the boss of me!

-Sherlock please

ass

.. ..

john?

are you mad? im in bed npw

sorry i called u a ass

jon? its not my fault

First off, im drunk.

2 u arent a bad boyfriend

drei thats 3 in german

4 to hell with katy for saying your a bad boyfriend

jon?

-yes

ur a wondrful boy friend

john

-yes

i miss u

-i miss you too

are you mad/

-no. now go to sleep

ok thanks for being not mad

-goodnight sherlock

jon?

-yes

ich lieb dish thats german for i love u jon

-I love you too Sherlock. Now sleep

ok

.. ..

John I think I'm hung over

-I'm not surprised. Have you looked through your sent texts yet?

No. Why?

-Enjoy your flight

.. ..

Are you feeling any better?

-A little

It's unpleasant to fly with a hangover by the way.

-I'll have aspirin waiting for you when you get home

Also have some amaretto waiting. I've thought of a new experiment

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