Not A Winchester

12:47pm, The Next Day

We’d all gone to bed in silence. I argued with Bobby until I was blue in the face that I didn’t need him to watch over me while I slept and ended up sleeping in the anti-demon-panic room. I didn’t want to be in the same area with the boys…or Bobby…because I needed to be alone. The only thing I couldn’t argue was having Bobby help me down the stairs because my leg just wasn’t willing to cooperate.

But it worked out… I spent a good three hours crying my eyes out until I was too exhausted to stay awake and crashed. I suppose I really needed the sleep because I woke up later then I’d meant to… Around 12:00pm I think. I struggled my way back upstairs, took a shower and put on some clean clothes. Nothin’ fancy, just another pair of jeans and a black long sleeved button down shirt. Honestly, if I’d been given a burlap bag to put on…I probably would have. I felt like utter crap. My eyes were swollen badly, due to crying as hard as I did…and from the fun I’d had. My body hurt all over, my forehead had a nice little bump on it and my bottom lip was cut on the inside. I finally brought myself out onto the porch and decided to stay put as Bobby offered me a steaming cup of Joe.

I took the fresh cup of coffee, “Thanks Bobby.” I said with very slight lisp due to how the right side of my mouth had swollen up from the night before. My mouth hadn’t taken most of the damage, but amazingly, I had barely any bruising on my eyes. There was definite swelling, but not the usual angry black coloring one would get after being punched several times in the same spot. Ever since I could remember, I never did get any black eyes. Which was something I was thankful for.

“Surprised you don’t have a shiner from all that damned rough housin’ last night.” Bobby said and checked the damage to my face by gently moving my chin back and forth with his hand. “Then again, you never did bruise easy.”

I gave a small smile and took a sip from the dark liquid and sucked in a sharp breath at how it stung the cut on the inside of my bottom lip. “Uh, how’s Dean doin’?” I asked after clearing my throat and watched a funny look ran across the old Hunter’s face. “Is it that bad?”

He grew a crooked smile and glanced over to the door, “well…see for yerself.” He chimed under his breath, gave me a soft pat on my shoulder and walked along the deck when the screen door opened, revealing a frowning and very bruised Dean.

I was about to take another drink and had to stop myself when I saw the angry color along the right side of his jaw line and the faint purple hue of a shiner appearing over his left cheek bone. Yea…I guess he didn’t have the same luck I had when it came to bruising.

“Hey Bobby.” Sam exclaimed in greeting as he stepped out onto the porch after Dean as Bobby passed them to go back inside…must’ve had more research to do…

That’s when I noticed something…the sleeves of Sam’s flannel shirt were rolled up and he had some long pieces of gauze lining the inside of his forearms. Curious, I wondered what kind of damage lay beneath the bandages…but I kept the question inside, knowing that I could probably mention it later and see if he’d tell me the truth. My instincts told me he’d been cut up bad…probably was bein’ bled out by the very same ghouls that took my family. I knew how those sick bastards worked…especially when they’re presented with something fresh. Ghouls generally tend to leave the living alone and feed off of the dead, like scavenger animals. They’ve never been known to present a threat…but after what Bobby had told me, not everything by the way, as if he were waiting until later for the harsh details.

What the boys went through…and how it was all once again, John’s fault… I went a little numb inside.

My brain came back from the onslaught of thoughts that danced through my brain like wild pixies in a moonlit forest and I noticed green eyes looking at me.

Dean saw that I was sitting at a small, dusty plastic table Bobby had set up for me with about three plastic chairs to sit in. I was at the far end, my body facing the length of the deck that ran the entirety of the porch itself. I sat my cup on the table and let my hands fall into my lap.

Honestly…I felt real shitty about the chaos I’d caused the night before. If it had been completely different circumstances, if say…I’d met them in a little bar off in the middle of nowhere, knowing nothing about them, I’d have probably found myself hittin’ on them…especially Dean. His rough demeanor, growl of a voice and dimpled smile would’ve tickled my fancy. I always loved myself a smooth talkin’, wise crackin’, classic car drivin’ stud. But this was different… I knew who he was, knew his Father, who was the first man I’d ever truly loved and saw as my personal Hero. Knowing what I knew, I could see John in him, especially when I saw him wearin’ his old man’s leather jacket. I was attracted to him, but after what transpired…I knew that if it were possible, he’d be more of a very protective big brother to me. Sure there was a sexual tension between us… It was obvious to me because we were so much a like. I just…I couldn’t.

With Sam however…there was, something about him… I don’t know what it was. It felt familiar to me, the energy that danced around him. I didn’t focus on it because the sound of their footsteps on the deck caught my attention.

Dean remained silent as he walked over and took the chair furthest from me and sat down, his back up against the house as he faced the yard itself. I assumed he just wasn’t in the mood for light chit chat…couldn’t blame him…I didn’t know what to say after last night either.

Sam on the other hand, appeared…slightly chipper as he trotted over and took the only empty chair at the table, which happened to be to my direct left and sat down. “Hey Tora,” He said in a gentle rumble, his voice and eyes pleasant as he looked at me. “You…doin’ better today?”

I gave a faint smile, “guess so. I mean, I’m damned thankful I don’t bruise easy or I’d be all kinds of black and blue right now.” I replied, my lisp very noticeable and proceeded to take another drink of my coffee to swallow back the very thick lump of uncomfortable anxiety from the back of my throat. It was just odd… Here I was, day after the death of my baby brother…after gettin’ the shit knocked outta me because I’d picked a fight with John’s eldest son…and now, his youngest was showin’ compassion towards me. Wasn’t he supposed to hate me…or something?

“I noticed.” Dean muttered from his side of the table, his eyes still averted from mine.

“Can I ask you something Dean?” My voice actually caught his attention, and when he looked at me, I saw a pain in his eyes that was more then just physical.

“Shoot.” He replied in short, the bruise along his jaw line appearing very painful.

I cringed inwardly at my handiwork and took one more needed sip of my coffee before asking, “you ever get into a fist fight with a Female Hunter before?” My voice was soft when I asked that question, because honestly…I didn’t want to be on bad terms with him or Sam.

I noticed in my peripherals that Sam’s brow knitted together, an almost guilty look when Dean spoke, getting my full attention. “Hunter, no… A demon? Yes.” Dean explained in a gruff voice and that’s when I noticed he had his own cup of coffee as he sat it on the table to his left. “I’ve never been a fan of hitting a woman.”

I nodded, looked down into my cup for a moment, went to nibble nervously on my bottom lip and bit back a hiss when the split in my torn flesh protested, sending a small jolt of very sharp and very angry electricity into the nerve endings of my face. I let out a slow exhale as the pain subsided and looked up at him from under my lashes, feeling a deep guilt at what I’d caused the night before. “I’ve…always had a tendency to pick fights with the wrong people growin’ up.” I began to explain and felt Sam lean forward in his chair, his eyes trained very closely on my face. “I had an anger problem…with boys. Kate, she figured it was just a phase until I put the school bully in the hospital.”

The brothers brows shot up in unison at my comment, exchanged a surprised and slightly impressed look when Dean gave me his gaze and quipped, “Teenagers do crazy things, right Sam?”

Sam made a face and began to explain, “Uh yea… I mean, when you’re forced to defend yourself you do what you have to. When I was a freshman in high school there was this kid named…”

I smirked and cut him off. “I was in the first Grade.” I murmured and watched them blink at me several times at what I’d just said. “Kate decided it best to have me home schooled before I got my ass landed in juvi.”

“Well, that turned out okay, right? You got to be home where it was safe.” Sam said, following along but my mind had already gone down another path.

“Yea, I was home alright…” I said, took another large drink of my coffee and set the warm mug on the table, my eyes fixed on the dark liquid. “Practically raised little Adam ‘cuz I was the big sister and Mom had to work.” My voice was slightly edgier, the thought of my little Adam…no longer with me anymore…taken from me… I carefully wiped at my eyes just as they began to sting. No waterworks.

“It was just me and him a lot, you know?” I looked up and saw the sympathy in their eyes as I spoke. “I was older by seven years, and he was such a good boy. I mean, best thing a girl could ask for was a little brother who wasn’t a pest.” I chuckled at that, “sure he had his moments, what little brother doesn’t? But Adam, god he was so smart, so full of life. You know…” my voice started to break but I didn’t fight to hide it, I was too tired, “he may have been Kate’s flesh and blood, but I was the one that looked after him. He was more like a son to me than my little brother. Guess that’s normal when you’re forced to raise your little brother ‘cause your parents gotta bring food to the table.”

I saw Sam as well as Dean clench their jaws, obviously having a hard time stomaching what I was saying. But there was also a great deal of understanding in their shared silence. As if they knew exactly what it was like to grow up like that…especially when I looked at Dean. I could see it as clear day when his eyes met mine.

“That was hard for you.” Dean stated softly and I nodded, feeling a weird understanding with him for the first time. I could sense, he’d been in my shoes when it came to him lookin’ after his little brother Sam. “Havin’ to watch over him like that.” He added and I gave him a little smile.

“It was. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” I said and paused…knowing that what I was about to say was probably very upsetting to hear, but they needed to hear it…and I don’t know why, but that’s what my instincts were telling me. “You probably don’t wanna hear this… But your father, John… I didn’t like him when I first met him and I was seven, only ‘cuz he was the first man in my life. Funny thing is, I started to bond with him, until he up and left.” My voice broke even more and I had to clear my throat and take another drink of my almost empty cup of coffee. “I felt like he’d abandoned me…and when Adam was born, I hated everyone because I was suddenly replaced. I knew I wasn’t blood to them…that I was always going to be an outsider…”

“You felt different.” Sam added and it wasn’t what he said that made me lock eyes with him, but the emotion in his voice. “I actually know what that’s like…being different.”

“I was different.” I agreed and didn’t add the part about my real parents dying in a fire when I was six months old. “Girl like me, with my weird way of thinking just wasn’t all that…popular where I grew up. So naturally, at nineteen, my car road worthy, I decided it was time to leave for good.”

“You mean that beautiful beast next mine?” Dean inquired and I nodded with a proud smile. “What year is she?”

“She’s a ‘70. Been in love with her ever since I laid eyes on her.” I replied and watched another impressed smile grace his bruised lips. “I was all ready to put my bags in the backseat and hit the road when you’re father showed up.” I clenched my jaws together and took another drink of my coffee, remembering the look on John’s face and the way he had said my name. I’d give anything to relive that moment one more time… “He was the one who introduced me to Hunting, told me about you two…and sent me Bobby’s way. Now here I am. Bang up job on protecting my family, right?” I muttered in a bitter voice and noticed that my mug was now empty and I desperately needed another dose of Bobby’s high octane.

“Excuse me.” I murmured damn near choking on my words and struggled to get on my feet, what with my left leg being bruised to all hell from Dean’s right hook the night before. I got up straight, went to take what I thought was a steady step forward on my bad leg when it gave out from under me and Sam moved so fast he knocked his chair over making Dean jump.

“I gotcha.” Sam said softly as I struggled with what little pride I had left to remain steady, knowing if it wasn’t for him I’d have face planted pretty damned hard onto the old deck below. He noticed the embarrassment in my eyes at how vulnerable I felt and gave me a sweet smile, “it’s alright, happens to the best of us.”

I had to swallow down the lump in my throat at the way my body had suddenly reacted to the closeness of him. The way his big hands cradled my waist with ease, my left hand gripping the firm and very developed muscle of his upper arm while my right hand held onto my empty coffee mug for dear life. The boy was nothin’ but power in that tall frame of his, not to mention he sure was easy on the eyes. And being this up close with him, getting a very detailed look into the blues and greens that mixed beautifully in his eyes…oh boy…I felt my heart launch up into my throat as if it were trying to escape. Gettin’ a hard on for someone who’d just saved me from total humiliation was the last thing on my mind. Well, figuratively speaking…seein’ as I’m a girl and don’t have the plumbing for that kind of thing.

“Uhm, thanks.” I sputtered in a meek voice and knew that my cheeks were probably the color of a ripe tomato. I cleared my throat, “guess my left leg isn’t completely healed yet.” I chimed jokingly and began moving forward with Sam’s incredibly strong arms guiding me. I made a point to keep my hands away from the bandages on his forearms, not wanting to cause him any unneeded discomfort.

I hated it when people felt the need to fuss over me or take care of me. So what, I got hurt…no big, you know? I’d always been very independent and seriously hated it when people tried to baby me, thinkin’ I was some helpless dame. I was never a chick-flick kinda girl…I was more of a Horror flick kind.

With that thought in mind, I had to say it or it was going to kill me. “Just to let you know, I never let people baby me or touch me when I’m injured…”

“I’m not babying you, Tora. I get it that you’re fully capable of taking care of yourself, you kinda proved that to me and Dean last night.” Sam said in a reassuring tone as he led me across the deck back to the front door. “But you’re injured and I’m merely lending a hand until you’re strong enough to move on your own.”

“Don’t buy it Tora. That’s just Sam’s excuse for coppin’ a feel.” Dean chimed behind us and I watched Sam’s cheeks flush…which made me fight back the giggle that swelled in my chest. “Pretty thing like you, all damsel and distress like…” He paused as I turned enough to my right to see the shit-eating-grin on Dean’s battered face, “really gets his geek blood boiling.”

Sam tried to cover the look of utter and complete embarrassment from his face by rolling his eyes, looked over my head to the smug look on his big brother’s face and said, “Ya, well you know what Dean?”

Dean titled his head back, all proud of himself and quipped sweetly, “yes, little brother?”

“At least I don’t get a hard on when a woman beats my lily white ass.” Sam chimed, an evil glint in his eyes and I glanced over at Dean in time to watch that smug look get wiped right off his face… Replaced with first, blinking, then the slack jaw…then it appeared that he was trying to speak, but it looked more like a fish gasping, as though it had just fallen out of the fish tank. It seemed as though he was possibly about to say something catty…and thought better of it. He then frowned, mumbled something incoherent and turned his back to us, suddenly very fascinated with his coffee cup.

“Okay…awkward.” I chimed softly, suddenly shaking because of the laughter choking in the back of my throat. I looked up at Sam, who shared the same struggling expression and motioned for him to get me into the house before I lost it. “Fast before I get hysterical and Dean never speaks to me again.” I whispered, voice breaking with uncontrollable giggles and had to clamp my free hand over my mouth as Sam helped my limping self into the house as quickly as he could.

After closing the door behind us, I lost it…and hadn’t realized that I’d collapsed my face against Sam’s chest, trying to muffle my laughter. I could feel him tense up for a moment and pulled back, face red from laughing and gave him apologetic eyes. “Oh uh… Wow. I’m really sorry…I just couldn’t let him hear me.” I said softly and felt my face sting, the nerves in my face still not happy after what I did to it the night before. I took a step back, eyes clenched shut and gently touched my face, wanting the pain to mellow out.

“Damn it…” I hissed softly and felt Sam reach down, his left hand cradling the side of my head while the fingers of his right hand, very gently…were placed beneath my chin and tilted my head back, causing me to open my eyes. “Uh…” I stuttered, wondering why I felt like he was about to kiss me. “Is it bad?” I asked, forcing back the sudden nervousness I felt when I saw the intensity in his gaze. And again…I was lost…it felt like I was looking into the eyes of a Wolf…

“Not as bad as it should’ve been.” His voice was a bit raspier then I remember it being. He caught himself, a slight hint of blush invading his cheeks as he cleared his throat, obviously trying to mask the way his tone came out husky. “Must hurt like a bitch.”

I gave a weak smile as his hands slipped away from me. “Actually, this is nothin’.” I replied and averted my gaze for a moment, trying to stop the nervous fluttering I felt. I took a silent breath, brought my gaze back to his and noticed a smile hanging from his very well proportioned lips. “What?” I asked with a small voice that had a slight playful lilt to it. When he just shook his head, still gazing down at me with that stupid curve on his lips…I could feel my cheeks flush and grew a bashful smile, knowing there was no way in hell that I could hide it.

The smile on his face turned into a grin as he was apparently enjoying the obvious affect he had on me. “You’re blushing.” He stated, his eyes dancing with light.

I tried to frown, but it only made him chuckle. “Ya? Well… You’re a Sasquatch.” I spat back at him, sounding like a 7 year old teasing her 1st grade crush.

His brows shot up and he let out a laugh, “Nice comeback.” Sam quipped, his dimples showing as he licked his lips.

My brow knitted together as I just gave him a flat look. “Well, what was I supposed to say?” I shot back and he just shrugged. I sighed, “men…” and started to limp away from him and due to my amazing NON-gracefulness… I just about landed face first into the old carpet, had it not been for Sam’s quick reflexes.

With a growl I muttered, “thanks…” and had to stop myself from taking in a very sharp breath at the feeling of his big, warm hands gently holding my arms to keep me steady.

I looked up toward the kitchen to make sure I wouldn’t run into anything else that could be potentially hazardous to my journey and there was Bobby… A funny kind of smirk on his lips before he looked away, acting like he hadn’t been watching us the entire time.

I grumbled out an inaudible curse as Sam helped me limp into the kitchen…where I used the kitchen counter to get myself another cup of coffee. “You know, I gotta cane you can use until that leg of yours heals up.” Bobby offered and I finally gave him my eyes. “That way you don’t need Sam here,” he motioned to Sam who was also getting himself a cup of coffee, “to help you everywhere.”

I nodded a little too quickly when I refilled my cup and thankfully, Bobby had already put the milk and sugar out in front of me. “Actually, that sounds like a very good idea, thanks.” I replied and was desperately hoping he wouldn’t make a comment about what he’d seen in his living room.

But this is Bobby I’m talkin’ about…and he’s too sly not to say anything. He leaned in real close to my right while I was adding a single spoonful of sugar, and started mixing the contents when he whispered, “don’t think I didn’t notice the way he’s got his eye on you. Thought you’d like the cane so he’d stop pawin’ you like a sailor that just got off ship.”

I dropped the spoon. It clanged off the side of the counter and landed with a clink against the kitchen floor.

Bobby, appearing unfazed by my reaction, retrieved the spoon and dropped it in the sink. All I could do was stare at him, expressionless as Sam gazed at us with an inquisitive look to his furrowed brow.

“I’ll be right back with that cane.” Bobby said nonchalantly and gave me a quick wink before vanishing from the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, shook my head and took a small sip of my coffee.

“What I miss?” Dean asked, now standing to my direct left near the coffee pot.

“I dropped a spoon.” I muttered softly and took another drink of my coffee, my gaze meeting Sam’s for a moment and I could tell he knew that Bobby had said something to me about earlier. We shared a knowing smile and broke eye contact before Dean got any ideas.

Dean hadn’t noticed, he was too busy getting himself another cup of coffee when Bobby returned with what looked like a cane you’d see Johnny Depp use in Sleepy Hollow. “It’s an antique but it’s steady.” He explained and handed the ancient looking thing to me, “It should hold ya up just fine.”

“Damn Bobby,” Dean chimed giving the cane a once over, “looks like it should be in a museum.”

“It was.” He replied and walked out of the room, toward the study.

I examined the old, mahogany cane with its polished finish. I sensed by just holding it, it had been used under mystical influence at some point in its long existence and by the intricate symbols engraved along its length, I was pretty sure I was right. “Huh…cool.” I thought aloud and set the cane to my left, against the counter and took another drink of my coffee.

“So, Tora…” Dean began getting my attention. He was leaning to his right, facing me, “what’s your middle name mean?”

“Balam?” I asked and he nodded. It took me a second to remember, “Well…it’s a name of Jaguar Spirits that are known for protecting villages at night.”

“Is that Aztec?” Sam asked and decided to sit on the edge of the kitchen table, to my right.

“I’m not sure. I always thought it was a stupid middle name…” I was explaining when Bobby appeared in the doorway, cutting me off.

“Until I told her what it meant, and it’s not Aztec, it’s the Mayan word for Jaguar .” He corrected and motioned to the cane. “You like it?”

“Ya, it’s a trip…” I replied and took another small drink of my coffee, enjoying the heat that slid down my throat and pooled in my stomach. “I can sense a lot of good juju comin’ from it.”

Dean quirked a brow at me, “Juju?” he repeated like I’d just spoken Chinese.

I gave him a flat look and said, “Yes juju, meaning energy.”

“Magic, Dean.” Sam added and held his hand out to me, “May I?”

He was motioning to the cane, “Sure.” I replied and handed it to him, “Where’d you find this thing Bobby?”

“A friend of mine, years ago.” He explained and I felt Dean looking at me… I turned my eyes to his and watched him avert his gaze. I gave a little smile and shook my head.

“Someone put a lot of time into this.” Sam exclaimed, completely fascinated with the strange markings along the cane’s finish. “What are the symbols?” he asked and looked to Bobby.

“It’s for protection and makes sure that whoever uses it, is supported no matter how graceful they are.” When he said this, he gave me a little grin that the brothers caught.

I gave him a smug smile, “thank you Bobby, so very thoughtful of you.” I chimed and watched him chuckle at me.

Sam handed the cane back to me when Dean quipped, “guess that means Sammy here can’t get his grope on anymore.”

I choked on the mouthful of coffee I was trying to drink and managed to swallow it down before I stopped breathing and turned purple.

Sam glared at Dean, “Nice job Dean.” He spat and gave me his eyes, “You okay?”

I coughed and was able to speak again, even if it was a rasp of a voice, “Yup.” I coughed one more time, “just peachy.” then turned my eyes to Dean, who was grinning and thwapped his leg with the end of the cane.

“Hey! Watch it!” He yelped and rubbed the afflicted area.

I just shook my head at him, “ass.” I said and laughed when he gave me a funny look. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!” I exclaimed and thwapped him two more times with the cane before he got smart and moved out of reach. “Hey! Where you goin’? This is kinda fun…” I giggled evilly and watched him give me a dirty look as he crossed the kitchen, putting as much space between us as he could.

“You’re violent and I don’t have to take your abuse.” Dean shot at me from his safe distance and I frowned, ready to move away from the counter when Bobby got my attention.

“Tora.” Bobby said in a voice that told me to quit it.

I gave him innocent eyes. “What?” I said ever so sweetly and gave up when his expression told me to cut it out. I scoffed, “fine…”

Sam let out a laugh and grew a thoughtful expression. “That uh Kishi Demon you mentioned… You never did tell us how you killed it.”

The question threw me for a loop. Tell them the truth? Well…I didn’t know how they’d take it…

“A Grizzly took it’s head off.” Bobby explained for me and I just stood there, feeling very awkward…especially at the stunned looks the boys were giving each other.

“You got saved by Yogi the pissed off bear?” Dean asked and all I could do was give a small smile. He blinked at me, “wow that’s…different.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” I murmured under my breath and was glad I didn’t have to explain how the Grizzly came to my aid in the first place. I’m sure if I did, they’d really think I was buckets-of-crazy. “Hey Bobby, think it’d be okay if I stayed here for a few days until I’m strong enough to take another job?” I asked, changing the subject and watched him give me a flat look.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” He replied and I gave him a little smile.

“Cool.” I said and looked over to the boys, “I call dibs on the couch.”

Sam smiled, “that’s fine. Me and Dean don’t mind sleeping on the floor.” He said and looked over to his brother who was pretending to look upset.

After giving Dean a quirked brow he smiled, “Naw it’s cool. I don’t mind, but Sammy here can sleep near you just incase you get graceful in your sleep and decide to fall off the couch.”

“Good lord, I’m not that bad!” I retorted in my own defense and when everyone began chuckling I added, “Oh fine…I see how it is. You guys suck.” and couldn’t help but join everyone in the small spell of laughter.

I knew that being happy go lucky at that point in time wouldn’t last…because Adam’s death was still in the back of my thoughts…haunting me. And I knew, as soon I was alone and knew no one was listening… My heart would break and I’d be reduced to uncontainable misery.

And I really hoped the boys were heavy sleepers…

* * * *End Part Four* * * *