He Needed Me

Chapter 3

Rose stepped onto the grating, a small smile on her face. It was a little funny, to step from one TARDIS to another. But she knew the difference even if no one else could see it. Her Doctor was a bit messier and a lot more MacGuyver than his previous form. His brown leather coat, thrown casually over a support beam. A few pair of otherworldly tools lying in a small pile in the corner. She could even spot an old sock used to tie a bit of the ship together...his version of jiggery-pokery. She did a double take at the hand resting in a jar, realizing it was the one that’d been cut off during the Sycorax invasion and made a face. Eww. He’d kept it?

She looked over her shoulder and smiled brightly at both of them, Lynda waving before disappearing back into the TARDIS from that dimension, “TARDIS is on auto. It’ll take you back as if you never left.” Her old Doctor stayed longer, looking her over with almost a longing look before it was gone the next instant. He gave her a manic smile and a small wave, closing the door behind him a moment later. Rose felt sad for him, knowing how lonely he was. She wasn’t sure Lynda could be the permanent companion he needed but she knew she couldn’t stay.

She watched and waited as the TARDIS started up before slowly fading into the abyss of space and time, closing the doors to the TARDIS she was on a moment later. She blinked and let her thoughts settle as she took everything in. She was still Rose Tyler, still the same girl, but now she was so much more and she was slowly understanding that. Cautiously she put her hand to her chest and smiled a little. Still one heart, so not so different. But the TARDIS had done more than just given her knowledge, she could sense it. She was curious to find out how much more but it would have to wait. Someone who’d been waiting for her for far too long was more important than that. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back as the TARDIS she was currently in hesitantly caressed her mind. She smiled in pleasure and was rewarded with shock and happiness flowing into her. Apparently TARDIS recognized her but that last bit was new. Over time she’d started getting the feeling when TARDIS was inside her head but there were never emotions attached to it. So, a bit of telepathy had been gifted to her. Fantastic. Or brilliant as her Doctor would say. Worried chattering filled her mind and she went in search of the source of the TARDIS’ worry.

Pausing for a moment, she scooped up the discarded mobile and frowned to herself. Since when did the Doctor have a cell phone? Shoving it into her pocket for later examination, she wandered down the corridor, looking through rooms and not spotting him. There were no real doors in the TARDIS, except for her room which she took to be a consideration for her human upbringing from the time ship. Instead with a room as you entered them the lights would turn on, unless someone was already inside. Library, kitchen, infirmiry, nothing. Observatory, junk room, garden, still no Doctor. She squared her shoulders, walking passed her room all the way down the corridor, up the stairs and veering a few turns over to his before knocking lightly on the open frame. No response. Taking in a breath, she cautiously ventured into one of the few rooms she had yet to enter and had all the air sucked out of her lungs as the lights slowly brightened within.

It was beautiful. It reminded her of a beautiful planet with it’s burnt orange sky and two suns in the distance. Just before the mountains was a beautiful sea of silver-leaved trees. Instead of carpet under her feet, orange grass. She closed her eyes, feeling the gentle breeze rustle the grass under her feet. It was his home planet. It had to be. The word whispered in her mind and she smiled softly. Gallifrey. There were no real conventional furnishings here, except for a fluffy bit of silvery material under a tree, what she supposed was his bed. In this setting it looked really comfortable but she didn’t linger.

She backed out quietly, leaning against the hallway. He wasn’t in here and she felt like she was intruding on his world. Lightly she stroked the soft alien metal with her fingers before frowning. Where was he? Looking up at the ceiling, “TARDIS?” A moment later the grating under her feet glowed before the glow started to move down the corridor, showing her the way. Tilting her head, nibbling on her lip she retraced her steps as she walked to her door and noticed it was open just a little which is exactly where the light stopped. With a small smile and a nod to TARDIS she pushed it open a bit more, her smile growing as she finally found him.

Rose paused for a moment, drinking in the sight of her Doctor. He was curled under her flower printed comforter in her bed, fast asleep, and desperately holding one of her shirts to his chest. A wave of love and possessive/protective emotions rushed through her and she nearly gasped. Two years of dreaming of his beloved face and she was finally seeing him. Silently she swallowed the reaction, not wanting to wake him. This was one of the rare moments she’d caught him sleeping, so she knew he needed it.

She glanced around the achingly familiar space and her smile grew. Pink walls, just as she liked it. Posters on one wall from all different eras. Souvenirs carefully shelved on another. She tugged at her lip, seeing the metal slinky the Doctor had gotten her, he having no idea what it was at the time. He’d been fascinated with it for hours when she’d demonstrated. She had a white bureau with all of her clothes, although half of them still littered the grated floor where she’d dropped them. There was a fluffy creme rug in front of her full sized bed and a CD player on the shelf above it. This was it. Her old life...and now her’s once more.

With a soft smile she crept closer, looking him over before her smile started to slip a little. In more than 2 years of traveling with him, she had never, ever, ever seen him with even a hint of five o’clock shadow. With either regeneration. It was almost a religion for him to be clean shaven and, well, clean. But he wasn’t today. He had stubble, and several days worth at that. She knelt down by the bed and lightly touched his brown hair, grimacing to realize bathing hadn’t been a priority as of late either. His pinstriped suit was rumpled and clinging to him, and combining what she was seeing with the TARDIS’ worried images she firmly concluded he either hadn’t cared for almost a week or he’d been sleeping for that long. And that worried her. She slept around 8 to 10 hours at a time when they moved from world to world. He was always, always, awake long after she went to bed and already awake and tinkering when she awoke.

Ignoring his hygiene, running her fingers through his hair before tracing them along his cheekbones and chin, “Doctor. Doctor wake up.” He didn’t respond whatsoever but he was breathing so she didn’t panic. Nibbling on her bottom lip, thinking why the hell not, she tentatively tried to sense his thoughts and jumped. It felt like she’d hit a brick wall with her brain. Okay, she was not trying that again. Apparently her gift was more receive than send...or it was just because he was the Doctor. She sat back on her heels while absently rubbing her forehead, perplexed as she looked him over. It wasn’t the first time she’d talked to the old ship and it wouldn’t be the last, “TARDIS, what’s wrong with ‘im?” A book appeared to her right, much as everything else in this ship appeared when it was needed or requested. She picked it up with a nod of thanks, seeing it was a translated Gallifreyan medical text and glanced through the page it was opened to before looking over her Doctor with a frown.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she sighed to herself before climbing to her feet with new resolve and shelving the book, “Run a bath for me please, just how he likes it.” Her Doctor was in a self induced coma. No drugs or technology was required, his body just shutting down at his command like a hibernating bear or something. She had no doubt something similar had probably happened after the war and it made her feel all the worse for him. To suffer alone and wake up just the same. He was so strong and it made her feel so proud of him for she certainly wouldn’t have been able to handle that nearly half as well. She also knew he couldn’t stand being alone, social creature that he was, so she had to wonder how long he had been on his own.

But it didn’t matter now. She was here and she wasn’t leaving him again. Her eyes moved from her bed to the entrance to her bathe, wondering how she was going to get him in there. The last time she’d carried him she’d had Mickey helping her. But there was no Mickey this time. Squaring her shoulders to the task at hand, she pulled back the covers and carefully peeled off each layer of clothing. She smiled just a little to herself, his left hand still firmly holding onto her shirt. Apparently he was just as stubborn asleep as he was awake, “Well, if that’s how you feel ‘bout it.” She let him keep it, divesting him of everything else before carefully maneuvering him into her arms.

Lifting him this time was an easier affair and she frowned at that. He was almost too skinny as it was, he couldn’t afford to lose more weight. Pushing her worry aside for later, she managed to carefully drag him into the bathe, not lingering over his frame as she would have were he conscious and wanting her. This wasn’t sexual, it was about healing him and she concentrated on that. She scrubbed and soothed from the last strand of hair on his head to the tips of his toes and everything in between. She’d had to change the water twice but at last she was satisfied, seeing her Doctor now that he was clean shaven and attended to.

He was skinnier, her fingers skimming lightly over his more pronounced ribs, and on impulse she leaned in and kissed his forehead, promising herself she would take care of him no matter what . Slipping into the bedroom, she quickly stripped her old sheets and laid out fresh ones, pushing everything into a pile for cleaning. Gently she dried him off, smirking as his unruly hair immediately protested being combed and snapping into odd angles. Sighing to herself, “Still has great hair...” She carefully returned him to bed, wrapping him up in her covers and kissing his temple before tending to laundry.

Her self appointed chores done, she debated whether to stay or give him a bit of space. After a moment she decided he’d been given enough space and slipped into the bed next to him. Toeing off her shoes, scooting herself closer, she wrapped her arms around his chest and pulled him back against her body. She just couldn’t seem to stop touching him, almost afraid he’d disappear if she did. He murmured softly, the first sound he’d even made, and snuggled more firmly against her with a contented sigh. Smiling, she allowed herself to fall into a contented sleep.

***

The Doctor frowned to himself as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. He was in bed, that much
he picked up on right away. He was holding a piece of material as if it were the most precious thing in the universe. His usually quick mind was a little sluggish at the moment, taking a bit of time for him to remember where he was. Rose’s old room. That was it. He closed his eyes for a moment, beating down the emotions of loneliness and longing.

Martha Jones, his last companion, had left a bit ago and left him on his own. It’s not as if he couldn’t have found another companion to go on more adventures or even had a few on his own but after losing the last of his race to suicide, Jack returning to Torchwood, and Martha returning to her family; all in one fell swoop; it was time to retreat and stop thinking for a bit. So he’d handled his mergeance with his past regeneration, handled the near collision of the Titanic with Earth and Astrid’s death all on his own before deciding he’d had enough. It was time to just stop for a while. He’d puttered around the ship for about 2 months, finished up the last of the repairs but stayed in the vortex where he belonged, not wanting to be around anyone at the time. Now he remembered, he’d left the TARDIS drifting not horribly far from Satellite 5 and fallen into a healing sleep so he could recoup and just forget.

He’d retreated to Rose’s room because she reminded him more of home and family than his own room did, and that was saying something. That was about it until he realized his senses were alight with the smell of her. With a small moan on impulse he pulled in a big breathe, nearly ecstatic to conclude her scent had gotten stronger. That delicious, familiar scent of apples and vanilla with just a hint of an essence that was purely Rose. He put the material in his hands to his nose and inhaled as his eyes closed, frowning to realize the scent was barely there.

His inquisitive brown eyes slowly opened, letting the t-shirt fall from his fingers as he realized the very room smelled more of her than the fabric did. His mind slowly chewed on this new information, quickly concluding that was impossible. There was something else odd, he was just having a hard time figuring it out. Or maybe it was because he was afraid to figure it out. Eyes slowly widening, it occurred to him he wasn’t alone in this bed and the arms wrapped tightly around him more than proved it.

He looked down at his chest, sucking in a breath to see delicate human hands touching him and slowly shook his head. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. He flipped around, his eyes widening as Rose yelped back to consciousness and he was nearly nose to nose with her. He stared at her, flabbergasted, while she yawned a little before smiling, “Hello.” He jumped back in shock, yelping himself as he fell out of bed and landed on the floor with a thud. He lay where he landed on the rug, his mind at a screeching halt and slowly Rose peeked over the side with a sheepish smile, “Sorry I scared you.”

On his feet in an instant, protesting, “I wasn’t scared I was-...” He stopped talking and started blushing furiously, hands moving in front as he realized he was completely starkers in front of the one girl under different circumstances he wouldn’t have minded one bit. Rose wanted to say she was sorry for that, but she really wasn’t. Too skinny or not, he was still gorgeous to her. It had completely slipped her mind to put a change of clothes on him. Oops. He lunged for the covers and wrapped himself in them from head to toe, “Rose Tyler!” She giggled a little and he did too, “Hello.”

Giving him a mischievous grin, “Guilty.” His collapse was so sudden she started rather badly. But he wasn’t unconscious, he was sobbing. Great, heaping sobs that shook his wiry frame and prompted her to fly to him and wrap him up in her embrace. He never cried. Never. She’d never seen a tear from him no matter what and it more than concerned her, “I’m here. I am. I’ve got you, Doctor...”

Talking around his tears, reaching for her hand. He was so happy to see her and it had just hit him like a freight train. Everything he’d shoved to the side for later. His fears and anger and sorrow and regret. Pushed back firmly to help Donna, then to help Martha, and eventually just because he hadn’t had the time to deal with it, “How? I mean, I want you here...my Rose...I’m glad but... how?”

She took his hand in her own and threaded their fingers, a gesture so familiar and yet so intimate. She opened her mouth to tell him everything TARDIS had done when she faltered. She couldn’t remember. That brief moment of brilliance was completely gone and with disappointment she could say she wasn’t completely surprised. Instead she just smiled brightly and gave him a happy squeeze.

His body silently shuddered against her, telling her he was sobbing without sound but he started to calm. With her free hand she rubbed his back to help him. Eventually he was just leaning into her, free arm wrapped tightly about her ribs. Shrugging, “I saw a TARDIS and I went for it.” He lifted his head, his big brown eyes searched her own and she smiled at him. Tears were running silently down his freckled cheeks, echoed by the happy ones in her eyes. With her free hand she wiped his away, even if more replaced them and she wrapped him up in a big hug, pulling at his head until it was lying on her shoulder. She made sure he wasn’t moving, tangling her hand in his hair. She closed her eyes as her own tears fell and just started talking, “Mum and dad were happy in that world. So was Mickey but...I could never be happy without you there. I just bided my time at Torchwood and one day I wandered back to the apartments. I don’t really know why. And there was a blue box, big as life and I ran right in. Didn’t think twice about it. I convinced the old girl for a swap of favors...I’d save the Doctor in that universe and she’d take me home.”

He struggled to lift his head but she wouldn’t let him so he wrapped his arms around her instead, still cocooned in the comforter, “That’s impossible. One Time Lord can barely fly a TARDIS...and that’s only because of my superior intellect, I’ll have you know...a human certainly can’t.”

Smiling a little, sniffing, “It’s a good thing I’m not just any human then, isn’t it?”

Shaking his head just a little since he could barely move, “It can’t be done.”

Chuckling softly at such an absurd statement coming from him, “Doctor, you’ve been from one corner of the universe to the other, from beginning to end...how can you of all people say something is impossible? Besides, the TARDIS upgraded me a little.”

He managed to escape her tight hold with a fierce jerk back, staring at her with blazing eyes, “No-...”

She wasn’t going to make the same mistakes again. No regrets. If her adventures with him ended tomorrow she was going to do everything she’d ever wanted to. She’d said she loved him, still did, but there was one more thing left to do. She tangled her fingers back in his hair and kissed him hard, not giving him time to think, let alone time to act. Only react. And he reacted exactly as she hoped he would. He brought his hands up to pull her closer and they both lost themselves to that wonderful kiss.