How Many Miracles . . .

"All right, buddy. It's okay." Starsky kissed Hutch's face, his chin, and his throat. "I'll take care of you. You just let me love you." He kissed his way down the heaving chest and his hands opened Hutch's jeans and both men knew they'd reached the point of no return. He eased the jeans past Hutch's hips, ran his tongue over Hutch's abdomen, and his fingertips down, into Hutch's groin.

"Star -- arsk!" Hutch cried out and he bucked upward uncontrollably as Starsky's mouth surrounded his hard shaft. Though he’d never had a man’s penis in his mouth, he never stopped to think about it. For all his lack of experience, he knew what he liked, and he went with that. He slid his mouth down and his tongue around, and was rewarded as Hutch dug his nails into the bottom of the tank and shook as Starsky gave Hutch all the pleasure his love-driven desperation could dispense.

Hutch forgot about the poison that coursed through his body as his brain shot out other alarms, all of which were centered at the area the hot, wet mouth teased and somewhat gently pulled at. Suddenly, and roughly, he grabbed Starsky's shoulders and pulled him up and rolled him over. Forcibly he pushed his tongue into the unresisting mouth of his lover and almost violently, pushed the turtleneck upward and undid Starsky's belt.

"Hutch, you don't have to.” Starsky swallowed. “I mean, after my cop friend was killed and I got over my hate, and knew that I loved you, I researched . . ." He didn't get a chance to say anything as Hutch's mouth took him in and it was his turn to thrust upward as a guttural sound of absolute pleasure echoed around the tanker. Hutch's name was almost a litany as Starsky writhed under Hutch's stimulation, which was more practiced than his own efforts, but he was pleased to note he’d been right on as far as his own attentions had been concerned.

"So did I, Starsk." Hutch said, his voice a guttural rasp. "I’ve dreamed so long about hearing you as I made love to you . . ." He stroked Starsky, then swallowed sharply as his stomach cramped once more, and Starsky was by him a moment later as he collapsed to his side. He laid the taller man gently down on the coat, and gently stroked back his sweaty hair. "Starsky, please." Hutch whispered. "I . . . I want . . . To make love to you, but . . . But I can’t. I . . . I’m losing strength so . . .fast. Please, Starsky, please, take me. Make me a part of you. I don't . . . don't want to die without knowing . . . knowing you."

"I can't, Hutch,” Starsky said, and swallowed at the look of hurt that crossed Hutch’s face. “Please, Babe,” he said. “It’s not because I don’t want to. I do, believe me, I do, but we don't have anything to ease . . . "

Hutch swallowed, then half-smiled. "Stars, I swear, I wasn't planning on making love with you tonight or anything, but there's massage oil in my coat pocket." A long sigh left him. "Please . . .I don't know how much longer . . ." His voice trembled at the end and at that moment, Starsky knew he wouldn’t, and couldn't, deny Hutch anything he asked of him.

"Okay Hutch," Starsky's voice broke almost as much as his heart at the weakness in Hutch's tone and he retrieved the small bottle of oil. “I never planned for any of this, Hutch, and if I had, this is certainly not the way it would have gone.”

"I know, Starsky. Me either," Hutch looked into the blue velvet eyes he knew so well. "But I love you and I want you so badly. Don't make me beg."

"Never," Starsky answered with a smile, and slathered the massage oil into his hand and fingers. Gently, and with a rising passion, he kissed his way back down Hutch’s body, and took him into his mouth again. Slowly, gently, he prepared Hutch for their coupling, and Starsky's name was almost ripped from Hutch's throat. He couldn't stop himself even if he’d wanted to, from thrusting upward as Starsky's fingers brushed the inner pleasure center, and Hutch almost wept from the intensity of the feeling.

"Starsk . . . please!" Hutch panted and his body trembled violently but not with the poison.

Starsky wanted to take what Hutch offered as much as Hutch wanted Starsky to have it, and both men moaned in disappointment when Starsky removed his fingers. Together they spread the oil on Starsky's shaft, and Starsky’s breath was taken away as Hutch looked at him with as much love and trust as Starsky had ever been looked at with.

"I love you, Starsky," Hutch sighed at the dark-haired man and swept his long fingers through the thick mass of dark, curly hair. Starsky opened Hutch to him, and as gently as he could, introduced himself to the warmed, well-prepared channel.

"I love you too, Hutch." Starsky said and with his eyes on those of the man he loved, he pushed inward and upward. Hutch gasped and squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden pain, and Starsky froze. Slowly Hutch relaxed and sighed.

"It . . .” He gasped. “It’s okay. You've got my heart, my soul, and now my body, Starsky." Hutch panted. "Now, take it all."

“Whatever you want, Hutch," Starsky said, and entered his lover further. He drew out and felt Hutch as he arched and tightened around him. A long groan was almost yanked from Starsky and he could barely control his passion as the man below him thrust upward.

Moans, gasps, and cries of pleasure, but much more importantly to the two men, love and commitment, rolled and echoed throughout the tanker. Starsky all but fell forward, trapped Hutch's erection between their bodies, and Hutch grasped Starsky's shoulders as he threw his head back and rose toward his climax.

Starsky hadn't known any time when his tightly reserved partner had ever lost such a complete control over himself, and he knew that that moment belonged to him, and him alone. He trembled with the knowledge that he and he alone could make Hutch so very completely helpless with passion, and he almost lost control of himself right then and there. However, he held on, and if possible, the passion, and the love, them grew stronger.

"Harder! Please, Starsk, I'm almost there! Don't stop!" Hutch pleaded mindlessly, and Starsky gave in to his lover, his friend, and his partner as with each thrust he brought the man under him closer to the edge. Hutch's whole body contracted under and around Starsky's thrusting body, and Hutch's climax was loud, explosive, and all-consuming.

There was absolutely no way that Starsky could control himself another minute, and he threw his head back and his own orgasm was no less earth-shattering, or silent, than Hutch's had been. After what seemed like hours, he collapsed onto Hutch, and they both panted violently in the sweaty aftermath of their frenzied lovemaking.

"I love you so much, Hutch." Starsky finally said and smoothed the sweaty blond hair back, and Hutch wrapped his arms around the man over him.

"Love . . .you, too, Starsk," Hutch sighed. “I’m so . . .sorry it took so long. S . . . sorry can‘t be there . . .for you,” slowly, his eyes closed, and Starsky gasped as Hutch's grasp loosened.

"No, Hutch! No! Not yet! I’m not ready to let you go yet! Damn it, you blond blintz! Don’t do this to me!" Starsky flung off the flannel overshirt he wore and wiped Hutch's face off. However, hutch didn’t say anything, nor did he move as Starsky gently proceeded to clean them both up and make them as presentable as possible.

As much as he had said they had run out of time, he really hadn’t believed it, and after what he had just experienced, he didn’t want to believe it. He lifted Hutch up and cradled him in his arms. The blond head fell against his chest, and wordlessly, Hutch reached up and gently stroked a hand down the other man’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he said again as he weakly wrapped one arm around Starsky’s neck. Starsky buried his face in the blond hair, and his tears slowly trickled down his face. He’d never been afraid to cry, especially around Hutch, and it seemed even more appropriate when he was crying for him . . .and the new kind of love they had, but were doomed to lose.

He didn’t know how long they sat together as he listened as Hutch’s breath grew more and more shallow, and knew that it was only a matter of time until he heard it stop altogether.