Beta: Kiraynn
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Chapter three“So...where to?”
Sam sank into the passenger seat, his arms crossed. “Does it matter?”
“Yeah, it does.”
The brunet turned his head in surprise. One moment Dean was the king of jerks and the next one he was his worried big brother.
“Dean, make up your mind.” His voice was quiet.
“What do you mean?”
“Stop having two distinct personalities!” Sam couldn’t take it anymore. “Stop pretending that everything is fine, because it isn’t! Two fucking years of mourning you, of blaming myself for not finding the answers fast enough, of feeling guilty and now you think everything it’s going to be the same?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah well, you can shove your apologies for all I care!”
Dean just looked at him then put his hand on his cheek. That shut Sam up faster than anything.
“I’m sorry,” Dean repeated, his cold skin stealing his brother’s heat, “but it was the only way.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sam asked, his voice softening. He felt like he was seven all over again, seeking his big brother’s comfort after a nightmare.
“You know how Lilith was after you?” began Dean, his hand slipping away to once more take hold of the steering wheel. Sam missed the contact already and that was weird.
“Yeah, and she was the demon holding your contract.”
Dean looked away. “So you heard, huh?”
“I just found out tonight. Ruby told me.”
“Yeah, I was meaning to ask what that bitch was doing here with you.”
“Dean,” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you have to understand that when you vanished, part of me died. I didn’t know what to do and the attacks were becoming stronger and stronger. That’s when…Ruby helped me. With my powers I mean. Suddenly the attacks stopped, and I had time to prepare myself.”
“Natasha stole my contract.” At Sam’s arched eyebrow, Dean shrugged. “She’s the one who turned me and saved my soul. In return, she only asked for protection for her and her children.”
“But they’re vampires!”
“After them was Lilith, you know how that goes.”
Sam turned sideways to look at him. “So you agreed to protect them after abandoning… me?” he asked with a strained voice, a lump forming in his throat.
“The closer you were from me…” Dean sighed, “the closer Lilith would be from you.”
“Damn it, Dean! I’m not a fucking kid anymore!” Sam exploded again. “I can protect myself and we always, always had each other’s back. When I was in danger of turning evil you stuck with me.”
“That’s different. You never had a evil bone in your body.”
“Oh yeah?” Sam laughed, the sound low and soulless. “Guess what? Tonight I killed that vampire in that club of yours and didn’t feel anything. Only satisfaction.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Sam stared at his big brother with wide eyes. The bright, unnatural eyes stared right back at him. Dean had a neutral face, analyzing him, and Sam hated when his brother did that.
“You can lie all you want, you can pretend for everyone else that you’re tough now, that you’re cold, but I can see right through you. Remember what you said when we had Gordon after us?”
Sam looked away, remembering all too well the hollow feeling he had when he finally confessed his adoration for Dean, so that his brother would stop with the suicidal phase.
“It goes both ways.”
“What?” Sam snapped his head towards Dean.
“I watched you my whole life. Even when…” the blond shrugged. “My whole life. I know you better than I know myself Sam, and if there’s one thing you aren’t, it’s evil.”
The younger brother looked away and crossed his arms again, sinking in the seat. He felt Dean start the car, the low rumble echoing different now that he was on the passenger side. His eyes stung with unshed tears.
“Like I said before… two years can change everything.”
Dean bit his lips and smiled weakly. “This chick-flick moment is taking way too long to pass.”
Sam couldn’t help but smile back, laughing low, until the laughs turned into quiet sobs. Dean bit his lower lip, trying not to stop the Impala and just hug his little brother, never letting go. “You’re such a girl, Sam.”
“Shut up, jerk,” whispered the younger man, smiling even as he still sobbed quietly.
Dean hesitated just a second before putting his hand on Sam’s knee, squeezing lightly. Sam felt the warmth of the gesture go to his soul and before he could stop himself he put his hand over his brother’s, squeezing as well.
“If you do that again, I’ll rip your head off,” spoke Sam as he took his hand away. He stared outside, feeling a blush cover his cheeks.
Apparently two years couldn’t change how he was such a girl around his brother sometimes.
-----
The screams of agony were music to her ears. She laughed in delight as her small fingers slowly tore the skin from that body.
"As much as I like your pretty screams, I really need to know where the big brother Winchester is."
The vampire underneath her moaned in pain, but still refused to talk. Lilith rolled her eyes, tearing another piece of skin.
"Come on, tell me. Don't be so mean," whined the demon, her pigtails swinging in the air as she moved and bounced on the vampire's lap.
"Get the fuck out of here, Lilith."
The blond girl stood up, cleaning her fingers on her white dress. She looked at the newcomer, smiling sweetly.
"I guess you heard your child screaming, Natasha? That's why you came running?"
The vampire smirked, approaching.
"You know I'm not afraid of you, Lilith. Not me. And I won't forgive you hurting my children."
The demon stared at her, the white eyes carrying the rage within. "You stole a soul that belonged to me. I had the right to a little revenge."
"The reasons of why I took Dean Winchester as mine are my reasons, and mine alone," the redhead laughed, "and you should know that Christopher is Dean's child as well. He's not the same human you once knew and when he feels the pain you caused him... you better be prepared."
"Filthy bloodsucker," hissed the little girl.
"And you know what else? Sam Winchester is not the same either. Looks like you're losing here... child of light."
The demon hissed again before disappearing. Natasha instantly closed the distance between them, dropping on her knees on the ground and picking up Christopher's bruised body. She smoothed down his dark blond hair.
"Everything is going to be fine my beautiful, I'm here now."
The young boy, barely in his fifteen's, opened his eyes and looked into her blue ones.
"Mother...I didn't say anything. Like you told me."
"I know."
"My king's secret... is safe with me," he turned his head, baring his neck for her. "Please."
The redhead kissed his pouty lips before biting her tongue. She kissed him fully, feeding the blood to him. Minutes later when she straightened her body, Christopher head was now lax on her lap. Her blue eyes glowed dangerously.
"Dean Winchester, you better come back soon. We have things to discuss."
-----
Sam didn't believe it. He should be angrier, he should be blind with rage. But he was astonished, to say the least, of how easy was to just lay there, watching the night end as he laid down on the Impala's hood, next to his brother, their bodies touching, shoulder to foot.
They were in the middle of God knows where, on the very edge of a cliff. Dean was silent for a long time now just looking up, and for the life of him, Sam couldn't tell why it felt so much more comfortable than before. The places where their bodies were touching were burning with the most intense heat that Sam ever felt. His heart had been pounding faster for a few minutes now and the young man bit his lower lip. If he was honest with himself, he knew what was happening but he just couldn't admit it. Winchester patented way of life: denial.
"Stop thinking so much."
Sam looked sideways, staring right back into his brother's green eyes. Dean was smiling, but it was different from before: calm...contented. Sam’s heart gave a lurch and he didn't like that one bit.
“So let's talk about something, then."
Dean rolled his eyes, before getting up. He dragged himself off of the hood and went to the backseat, picking up something. He returned shaking the bottle of wine in his hand. Sam couldn't help but laugh quietly.
"What, we are eighteen again?"
"As a matter of fact, I was eighteen and you were fourteen."
"You know what I meant."
"Whatever Samantha, let's get fucking wasted."
"I thought vampires only drank blood," wondered Sam, looking at his brother. An awkward silence took hold of them.
"We feed on blood," started Dean, like he was a school teacher. "Now, we can drink alchohol just fine. I don’t know if we can get drunk though; never tried. Want to try it out?"
“Do I have a choice?” replied Sam. He sat up on the hood, adjusting himself.
“Yeah, you know you don’t,” grinned Dean. He popped open the wine and took a long swallow, a tiny drop of the red liquid sliding down the corner of his mouth.
Sam widened his eyes when a sudden heat warmed his low belly at that sight. He licked his dry lips, wanting badly to taste that evil little drop.
“Your turn,” Dean said, opening his eyes and looking at his brother as he held out the bottle.
The young man picked it up with shaking hands and took a long swallow as well. He coughed a little bit at the rich taste burning in his throat. “What the fuck is that?”
“Some fancy shit I found. Slides down so much better, doesn’t it?” commented Dean beside him with an idiotic grin. Like he always grinned when he knew something about life that Sam didn’t.
“Yeah, it does,” croaked Sam, his voice a little rough with the burn of the alcohol. He took another swallow before looking at Dean again; he blinked when he noticed his brother was looking at him strangely. “What is it?”
“There’s something else I didn’t tell you.” Dean’s voice was low. Serious.
Sam turned on his side carefully, mindful of the hood of the Impala. The car had become very important to him in the two years that passed. “Dean, there’s something I need to give back to you,” started the young Winchester. He raised his hand and took off the silver ring, handing it to Dean. “I found this in the back alley of the bar you went when… well, the day after.”
Suddenly Dean caught his hand, closing it around his ring and resting there. Sam stared into those green eyes that were brighter than before, but that still held that same emotion that the brunet always associated with his brother. Dean always looked at him like that, like he was the most precious thing of his world. And suddenly Sam realized that nothing could change that. Nothing.
“Dean…”
“Keep it,” whispered the blond, his voice low and a little husky. The tone sent shivers down Sam’s spine. “I’m giving it to you.”
“But…”
“I had to disappear. Before I would do something out of desperation that I would regret forever in hell,” confessed Dean.
“What would you do that you had to leave me behind?” asked Sam, his eyes never leaving Dean’s. The feeling he thought he buried a long time ago was now unleashed.
“This,” whispered Dean before ducking his head and kissing him.
Sam closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his chest and his mind swirling with the thought:
Dean feels the same.TBC
