My Serenity

~Inara~

Being a Companion is difficult. We get to choose who we spend our time with while on the job, we are trained to read people before we even meet them. And despite all of the sex, which is not only implied but encouraged, we don’t get any benefit from it except money. The word “Whore” springs to mind, which used to be the Captain’s favorite nickname for me. I can dress it up however I want, but I removed any naive thoughts about what I do a long time ago. I have sex for money, just because it’s legal doesn’t make my job any less than what it is.



I’ve always connected with each of the clients I have slept with, it’s actually important to me, because it makes my job feel better than what it is. I know more ways to pleasure a human of both sexes than anyone can imagine, but it doesn’t matter how often I’ve had sex I derive very little real pleasure from any of it. I go through the motions as I have been trained to, and I do it so well I believe I even fool myself sometimes.



Then there’s the concept of love, and that’s just...just...so utterly frustrating! Companions are encouraged not to fall in love, and I seriously thought I would never have to put up with the problem. Many men have fallen in love with me, but I’ve never felt the same way about them. That is, until I met Mal. That brigand is uncouth, ill-mannered, and absolutely infuriating, but somehow every time he is near I feel like a foolish little girl with a crush.



Being a Companion makes it almost impossible to find anything resembling true love. Of course, what good, decent man would want to spend their life with a woman who has had sex with so many others? It is human nature to want to keep something special to themselves, and a Companion just isn’t sacred.



Mal is likely the only person in the ‘verse that I can’t accurately read. I guess that is what draws me to him so much, he’s someone I can connect with, without needing to “connect” with him first. Despite calling me a whore, he’s probably the only man I’ve ever met who respects who I am, even if he doesn’t respect what I do, it’s incredibly charming.



At first I thought his attraction toward me was purely physical, but after what almost happened on Miranda not even I can deny that he is really in love with me. It annoys me to no end that I am also hopelessly in love with him. Why does it have to be him?



A clicking sound brought her out of her thoughts and the shuttle door opened, and the man who was always on her mind lately enters...once again without knocking.



“Mal,” I say in annoyance and turn away from the mirror, where I became distracted while putting on my makeup, “Knock before you enter, please.”



A similar annoyed expression came across his face and with a roll of his eyes, he walked out of my room, shut the door, and knocked. It’s a little too late for that, I think silently to myself but tell him to enter anyway. He walks into the room, and turns toward me, but stops in his tracks, just staring at me. That stare is so completely hot, and I can feel his eyes burning through my close and raking gently over my body. Feeling suddenly naked, I turn back toward the mirror and start applying makeup to forget how much I like that look.



A few moments later he shakes his head and says, “I don’t want you to do this.” I know what he’s talking about of course, but I ask anyway, “Do what?”



He walks up behind me and places his hands gently on my shoulders. A shiver begins where his hands touch and spread quickly throughout my body, oddly enough leaving gentle warmth in it’s wake. I stop applying the makeup without noticing and our eyes connect in the reflection of the mirror. We stare at each other for several long seconds.



Finally he says, “We’ll be gettin’ by soon as we get a job, you don’t have to be doing none of this.” I can see it in his eyes, one of the few places where you can see Mal’s soul exposed, and I can tell he doesn’t want me to do this. I know he’s fighting so hard to keep is calm about this and it kills me a little inside. But...



“This client is willing to offer ten times the normal rate, and we really need that money.” I tell him, and feel his hands clench my shoulders, tight but not painful. I don’t think Mal could ever actually cause me any physical pain. I wish the same could be said about heartache.



I finally have turn around in my chair and look back at him, and instantly regretted it. His face hovered just inches above my own, and it took all the willpower in the ‘verse to stop me from kissing him. I can’t kiss him now, not now, not before I’m about to leave to be with another man. Not only would it likely kill him, but me as well. However, he didn’t have that kind of forethought.



He lowered his head and I didn’t pull away, Gods I should have pulled away, but when he pressed his lips to mine all of that willpower I had disappeared in a puff of smoke. In that one instant between the time our lips met and and the time I finally realized I needed this, he broke through every single one of my walls, every single one of my doubts, and every single one of my reservations. It only took that instant before I was eagerly kissing him back.



Thirteen Months Ago

~Aydrian’s Perspective~

I clutch at the knife wound in my stomach and walk as quickly as I can through the rain. The farther I got from the Academy, the more my pain increased, and that particular pain had absolutely nothing to do with the wound. I kept looking over my shoulder in the general direction of the Academy, and more then once I almost turned around, but I knew I couldn’t stop. I clutched the datapad in my hand and hid it in my jack to avoid getting it wet in the rain that was beating down on me, making the entire process more difficult.



I walked down empty, dark streets, looking for the contact I made before fleeing the Academy, everything depended on me getting to him. River’s freedom depended on me getting to him. When I finally reached my destination, two armed people stepped out of the shadows, followed by another lower class man. This must be him.



“I got your message,” The man said and stepped forward. His guards started to follow him but he waved them off. “Ya look’n not so good, boy. Maybe ya should go to a doctor or somethin’.” I shook my head and tossed him the datapad, which he caught. “That’s everything you need to know about the Academy.”



I swoon for a moment, the blood loss making my head really fuzzy, but I keep my attention on the task at hand. “That...that will give you the plans, the security codes, and all of the right papers. It will take a lot of money though.”



He looked over the device before putting it in his pocket. “Might’n ya have a suggestin’ where to get that money?” I nod and reply, “There is a girl there named River Tam, her brother has been attempting to get to her for two years. He’s rich, he’ll pay any amount to get his sister out of there.” I lean heavily against a wall and the man looks concerned for a second but hides it well.



“What do ya want for this information?” He asks and I smile. There is only one thing I want out of this. “Make getting River Tam out of the Academy your highest priority. That’s all I want.” The man nodded and turned around.



“Thanks for the info, kid. Ya have’n no idea how important this is to people.” Just as he is about to round a corner he turns and says, “My name is Garcia, look me up if’n you ever need anythin’.” And he was gone.



When he was completely gone I finally succumbed to my wound and sat down heavily. I know this won’t kill me, but it definitely wasn’t something my body was used to. As I look up at the darkened sky, the cold rain pored down my face, and I closed my eyes, picturing River in my head.



“I’m sorry, little river, but I’ll let your brother rescue you from here.” With little regard to my safety, I pass out.



Present

~Mal’s Perspective~

I’ve kissed plenty of women in my life, but I’ve never kissed Inara Serra. Until now that is. But this woman, she definitely knows how to kiss. She teased me, although I don’t know or care for that matter if she was doing it on purpose. Each time I kissed her hard, she’d be gentle, and when I became gentle, she’d kiss hard. The only thing I could think about was how much I love kissing this woman. The small sounds she makes, the way her hand touches to my cheek, and the odd way she seems to make love using only her mouth.



For a second there, I wondered if she kissed her clients this way, and my heart froze solid at the thought, but somehow i felt that this was unique, even to her, and she couldn’t possibly kiss anyone else like she is kissing me now. I wanted it to stay that way. Unconsciously, I move so I am standing next to her instead of behind, and without breaking the kiss she rises to her feet and presses her body against mine.



It’s no secret that I’m horribly attracted to this woman, this Angel. But then, just about any man or woman with eyes would be attracted to her. Everything about her body is perfect, and nothing feels out of place. I became very intimate of that fact when her body pressed to money and I finally got to feel her for the first time. With the sudden fear that she might pull away, and knowing I would die if that happened right that moment, I wrap my arms around her back and pull her flush against me, causing her to whimper and causing me to feel that uncomfortable bulge in my pants.



If she feels that, I have absolutely no lie for what it could be. Then she rubs gently against me. Oh yeah, she definitely felt it. She stops kissing me then, although the act of pulling her lips off mine seemed to be just as painful for her as it was for me. I can’t help myself, I look down into those eyes of hers, those gorram eyes. I could see so many things in her eyes, but I’m no reader, so I couldn’t possibly begin to guess what she was thinking.



But one thing I did notice, was that she hadn’t pulled away from me, her hips were still pressed against the bulge in my pants, and I know she could feel it. Then something I do recognize appeared in her facial expression: Desire. Damn, the Lord is welcome back on my ship as long as he lets Inara have that look pointed in my direction more often. I move both my hands up and press them softly to her cheeks.



“God, you are so beautiful.” I say, and even I am shocked that I ever said it. It’s just not something I like to say outright, but it came out of me without warning. The blush that spread across her face made it totally worth it. I never knew she could blush. I think it’s odd for someone like her though.



“I’m sure you’ve been told that before.” I say and she smiles and replies, “I have, but I’ve never heard anyone mean it as much as you.” She brushes his lips soft as a feather against mine and whispers, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you weren’t complimenting only my looks.”



I can’t help the smile that spreads across my lips, even as they press again to hers. This kiss was softer, gentler, and agonizingly quick. But that wasn’t by choice. The comm terminal activated and Kaylee’s face appeared on the monitor. Good thing we’re out of view or she would catch us in a very intimate situation.



“Helloooooo,” Kaylee yelled into the terminal, and Mal secretly made plans to kill the girl later. Inara reluctantly pulled away and walked to the terminal. “Yes, Kaylee, what is it?” Kaylee looked at Inara in confusion for a moment, noticing her smeared lipstick, I’m guessing.



“You told me to contact you when the time came for you to see your client. Well, now’d be the time.” My heart suddenly froze up again and Inara tried very hard not to look in my direction. “Thanks, Kaylee.” She went to shut off the terminal when Kaylee suddenly said, “See you later, Captain.” The terminal shut off with a click. Damn that girl! Ever since she started rollin’ in bed with the Doc she has become very intuitive.



Inara finally turned and looked at me, although her eyes were lowered a little bit, and she looked sad. As to be a matter of fact, she looked like she was about to cry, and I knew why.



“There is no gorram way you’re going through with this, especially after that!” My anger flared up so suddenly, it surprised even me, but it only made me feel like crap when I saw her fight to hold back tears. I know she doesn’t want to do this, I can tell that easily enough, she’s doing this because she thinks it will help the crew. But, what about us? Her and I? With tears finally streaming down her face she walks out of the room, and once again, I don’t move to stop her.



What about us?



~Author's Note~

This chapter was longer, but I didn't think you'd mind. This chapter focused mostly on Mal and Inara, as well as a little thing with Aydrian. Garcia was a member of the resistance in the Serenity novel. He got the information, but it was never mentioned WHERE he got it. See how I'm trying to tie in my story with the official plot? Inara and Mal are facing troubles, but the client may not be everything he seems to be. Aydrian had somehow escaped the Academy, but he left it to Simon to rescue river. Wondering how all of this happened? Keep reading further chapters to find out!



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