Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost
Chapter 4

For a moment time stood still as five men watched the events play out before their horrified eyes. As though a switch were flipped, time sped forward the moment both Buck and Vin hit the floor, a red stain spreading over the side of Buck's shirt. With practiced steps the five moved into action; Chris was at Vin's side in an instant, checking the younger man for any injuries, while Nathan moved to Buck's side and the other's gathered a first aid kit and blankets.

"JD call an ambula..."

"No!" Buck immediately countermanded Nathan's order.

"Buck ya need to go to the hospital," Nathan argued. "JD go on now," shooing the younger man towards the phone.

"Damn it Nathan no!" Buck glanced over at JD, standing with his hand on the phone. "JD I don't need an ambulance, it ain't that bad."

"Now look Buck, I know it's just a graze but it's deep enough ya need stitches and it needs to be debrided," Nathan tried again.

"You do it," Buck ordered. "Chris, how's Vin?" he asked before Nathan could say more, his concern for the sharpshooter greater than any worry for himself.

"I ain't a doctor but I think it's just exhaustion and stress that made him pass out. Pulse seems steady, but a little fast, his skin is a little clammy, but otherwise he seems fine."

"Nathan, what's that sound like to you?"

Nathan sighed, he swore some days these men were gonna be the death of him. "Sounds like Chris is probably right, but we should take him in to be checked out too if he don't come to in a few minutes."

"I ain't going to the hospital Nate."

"Damn it Buck, ya need a doctor," Nathan snapped, exasperated with the man.

"No, I ain't..."

"Brother Buck, why is it you don't want to go to the hospital?" Josiah interrupted. He knew Nathan only had Buck's best interest at heart, but sometimes he could get so wrapped up in medical needs, he forgot to look at anything else.

"Don't encourage him Josiah," Nathan growled.

"I've hurt him enough," Buck quietly replied.

"How is it going to hurt him Buck if you go to the hospital?"

"They have to report gunshot wounds, don't they? What do ya suppose happens to him when the police start investigating?"

Exchanging guilty glances, all five dropped their eyes to the floor. It wasn't something any of them had thought about. For several minutes nobody spoke as they tried to come up with a way around the problem. They knew they couldn't claim it was a simple accident, something that happened while Vin was cleaning his gun, nobody would buy that.

"I ain't gonna do anything else to hurt him," Buck added. "You clean it out and stitch it up Nathan, please."

"I see your point Buck, but I don't like it."

"You'll do it then?"

Nathan sighed, nodding his head. "Let's get you into the bathroom, it'll be easiest to do it there. Chris, Ezra, y'all keep working on getting Vin up. JD, you fix some strong coffee for him, add lots of sugar. It helps with shock and I'd bet he's suffering from that, at least a little. Josiah, can you help me with Buck?"

"Come on Buck," Josiah rumbled, wrapping his arm around his waist and helping him to his feet.

Ten minutes later Vin finally moaned, just as Chris was about to haul him out to his truck. "Vin, that's it cowboy, open them eyes for me," Chris encouraged.

Vin could hear Chris' voice, but it sounded like it was coming through a tunnel. Keeping his eyes screwed tightly shut, he tried to make sense of what was happening. Why was he passed out on the floor? Did he have too much to drink? Had he been shot? Quickly he dismissed both ideas, there wasn't any pain in the right places and either condition would've had him in a world of hurt. "What happened?" he mumbled, a familiar ache flaring to life the moment he moved.

"Don't ya remember?" Chris asked, exchanging a worried glance with Ezra. Jerking his head towards the hall, he silently gave his orders.

With a short nod, Ezra stood and headed for the bathroom to get Nathan. He couldn't help wondering what they would do if Vin didn't remember what had happened to him. Would they tell him that Buck had raped him? Sure that if they did tell their sharpshooter the truth the team would disintegrate, Ezra was all for lying to him.

"Wouldn’t ask if I did," Vin snipped, fear over what he felt driving him.

"Not real sure what's going on Vin," Chris finally responded. "Why don't we get you over to the couch for now, okay?"

"Yeah," came the whispered reply. Letting Chris help him to his feet, Vin leaned against the blond as they made their way to the couch. "Why do I feel like this?"

"Like what cowboy?" Chris asked as he lowered the younger man to the couch.

Sighing, he ignored the pain he felt, focusing instead on the rest of it. "Feels like the morning after the night before, like my brain's wrapped in cotton and my legs are made of jello."

"You're just exhausted Vin." Looking up he caught JD's eye, holding out his hand he accepted the hot cup of coffee from him. "Vin? JD made ya some coffee, think you could drink some?"

"JD?"

"What ya need Vin?" JD anxiously asked.

"Did ya put plenty of sugar in it?"

"Just the way you like it Vin."

"Thanks kid," he rasped, taking the cup from Chris and slowly sipping it. "Damn JD, how much sugar did you put in this?"

"Since when don't you like sugar Vin?" Chris asked, trying to hold back his laughter.

"I like sugar, but damn cowboy I think he used half the sugar bowl," Vin complained, trying to hand the cup back to Chris.

"No, you drink that," Chris refused. "You need it, sugar and all."

"What's going on Chris?" Vin eyed him suspiciously.

Chris sighed, "What do ya remember?"

Vin thought about it. He could remember coming home and finding out the heat was out. He thought he had called Buck, but if that were true then how did he end up at Chris' ranch? "Heat was out, I called Buck, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did."

"How come I'm at your place then?"

Chris looked up as Nathan came into the room. "Nathan, he don't remember anything past calling Buck last night."

"Last night?" Vin looked at Chris in obvious confusion. "It's only been a couple hours since I called Buck, ain't it?"

"No Vin, it was last night that you called Buck," Chris gently told him.

Nathan quickly asked Vin a few questions, name, year, president, nodding as Vin answered each question correctly.

"Nathan what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember getting out here?"

Nathan opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut off by Chris. "You and Buck were coming out here this morning and ya had a little accident. We didn't think you were hurt until ya passed out, ya must've hit your head."

"Is Buck okay? Was I driving?" Vin asked with a guilty start.

"Buck was driving, he just got a good scrape on his side. Ain't neither of ya hurt bad, you know if ya were Nate would insist on ya going to the hospital."

"Where's Buck then?"

"He's just in the bathroom getting cleaned up. JD, go get Buck, let him know what's going on."

"Yeah, okay Chris," JD stuttered uncertainly. Hurrying to the bathroom, he slammed open the door, nearly running into the room.

Buck's attention snapped to the door as JD raced through it, quickly shutting it behind him. Instantly he was moving to his feet, only to be shoved back down by Josiah. "What's wrong JD?" he anxiously demanded.

"Chris said to come get ya," JD panted. "Vin don't remember anything Buck, not after calling you about staying at our place."

"Nothing?" Buck was glad he was sitting down, sure that he would've fallen if he hadn't been.

"Nothing," JD confirmed. "Buck there's something else ya need to know," he began, licking his lips nervously. "Chris told him that you guys had an accident on your way out here and that's why he can't remember."

“He what?” Buck roared, coming to his feet in spite of Josiah’s hold on his shoulder.

“He told Vin that you were driving and ya scraped your side up in the wreck, but you’re not hurt bad.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know Buck but I guess he figured it was better since Vin don’t remember what really happened,” JD shrugged helplessly.

Buck stared at JD, trying to wrap his mind around Chris’ thinking. Hanging his head, he took a deep shuddering breath, his thoughts racing through his mind as he tried to figure out what to do. The problem was, he couldn’t for the life of him think of anything better than what Chris had come up with. “Josiah, what do you think?”

What did he think? That was the 64,000 dollar question. Josaih didn’t know what to think. Certainly he could understand Chris’ thinking and on one level he agreed with him. However, he couldn’t help thinking about what would happen if Vin remembered someday. As bad as the situation had been, there was an explanation for Buck’s seeming betrayal but how would they justify this betrayal if they went through with it. “I don’t know Buck. If we don’t tell Vin the truth, it could save your friendship and the team, but if he ever remembers...”

“It’s gonna blow up in our faces,” Buck dejectedly finished for him.

“If I might interject, there is some information you’re missing Mr. Wilmington.”

“What’s that Ezra?” Buck tiredly asked.

“Were you aware that Vin is also bi-sexual?”

“He is?” three voices asked as one.

“According to Mr. Larabee, he is indeed. Perhaps Mr. Wilmington you should view this as an even greater blessing than it first appeared.”

“Just what is it you’re suggesting Ezra?”

“I believe you know what I’m suggesting Mr. Wilmington. However if you need it spelled out for you, this could be an opportunity for you to woo Mr. Tanner, if you will. If the two of you are able to establish a relationship it would defeat Spencer’s intent and may solidify Vin’s memory loss.”

Buck considered the idea for all of thirty seconds before completely rejecting it. “No, I won’t do that to him. We can’t have any kind of relationship anyway if it’s built on lies. Maybe his memory loss could help some though.”

“What are you thinking Buck?” Josiah asked.

“Well he don’t remember so I can explain everything in the order it happened. It might be the only chance I’ll have of getting him to listen long enough for me to tell him the whole story.” He jumped as Chris yelled from the living room, catching him off-guard. “Sounds like we better get out there.”

Vin looked up from the couch as the others walked into the room. “You okay Buck?”

“I’m fine Vin, how’re you feeling?”

Vin shrugged, “Okay I guess. Chris said we had an accident...”

“Um, yeah...look Vin we need to talk about that.”

“It’s okay Buck, ain’t no need for ya to feel guilty, accidents happen.”

“Uh, thanks Vin,” Buck looked away. Damn Chris for lying to Vin, how was he supposed to tell him now? “Chris could I talk you in the kitchen?” Turning around, he high-tailed it to the kitchen with Chris hot on his heels. “Why did you do that Chris?”

“Would ya rather I told him the truth?”

“Hell no, but now what do I do?” Buck asked, scrubbing his hand through his hair.

“Find Spencer, make sure he pays for what he did and pray Vin never finds out the truth.”

Buck looked at Chris, the cold stare he saw somehow not surprising him. “And what if he does?”

“We deal with that when and if it happens.”

Buck’s hand slammed down on the counter, “Damn it Larabee! You can’t go around making decisions like that for other people.”

“I didn’t plan it Buck, but the opportunity came and well it just seemed like the best way to at least buy you some time.”

“Time? Time for what?”

“Time to prove to Vin he can trust ya. Time to maybe get a relationship started with him, time to find Spencer and do what ya have to.”

“Why wouldn’t I trust Buck?” Vin asked from the doorway, startling both men.

“Vin, how long have ya been standing there?” Buck asked when he found his voice.

“Ya should be sitting down Vin, ya need to rest,” Chris tried to deflect him. “Nathan shouldn’t have let you get up,” he added, glaring at the medic.

“We tried to...”

“Don’t you be getting on to Nathan or nobody else Chris. What are y’all hiding from me?”

“What makes ya think we’re...”

“No Chris,” Buck interrupted. “He deserves the truth. Vin can we go back into the other room and talk?”

“Yeah, okay,” Vin agreed. Casting a confused glance at the taller man, he had the feeling that maybe he shouldn’t have demanded to know what they were keeping from him. Did they know who was responsible for the ache he felt? Was it somebody he knew? Was that why everybody was acting so weird? Walking back into the other room, he flopped down on the couch. Expecting Buck to join him, he was surprised when he chose to sit down in a recliner instead. He watched as Buck sat in the chair, his head resting in his hands. He’d never seen a man look so weighted down. The rest of the team were there, but they were hanging back, giving him and Buck some time alone, while still being available if they were needed. Ten minutes passed with nobody saying anything, another ten and Vin was becoming nervous, five more and he was strung tighter than a bow string. “You said I deserve the truth Buck, you gonna tell me?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Whatever it is Bucklin we can get through it together,” he assured, his mind shying away from what the clues were telling him. “Why don’t ya start at the beginning,” he quietly suggested when no words were forthcoming.

Buck heaved a heavy sigh, the beginning, yeah but first there was something he had to say. “Before I do that Vin there’s something ya got to understand. Chris was just trying to help, I don’t want ya blaming him for that.”

“Alright Buck, I won’t,” Vin quietly assured him.

Buck nodded, taking a deep breath he began to try to explain the events that had led them to this point. “You know I used to be a cop.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, about a year before Chris asked me to join team 7 there was an incident. Damn, that don’t even begin to cover it.”

“This incident have something to do with what ya said in the kitchen?”

“Yeah it does,” Buck sighed. “There was this guy, he’d been raping and torturing male prostitutes. A couple of them had died and we were trying our damndest to find the bastard.”

“Did ya?”

“Yeah, but not before he got one of our undercover officers. He was just a kid really, a rookie by the name of David Spencer. We didn’t realize the guy had him until we heard him screaming.”

“He died?” Vin softly questioned.

“Not then,” Buck replied. Savoring the concern he heard in Vin’s voice, he wondered if he’d ever hear it again. “We got there in time to save his life, but not before that animal raped him.”

Vin shuddered, knowing all too well what the kid had gone through. “What happened to him?”

“He killed himself six months ago, but I didn’t know that until last night,” Buck shamefully confessed.

“Lost track of him?”

“Yeah, he left the force not long after it happened, just couldn’t take being there.”

“I’m real sorry to hear about your friend Buck, but I don’t understand what that has to do with me trusting you.”

“He wasn’t really my friend, didn’t know him that well, but he was my partner.”

“Kind of suspected as much.”

“Last night his brother contacted me, told me what happened to David...”

“He blames you?”

“Yeah and he wanted to get even.”

“I got caught in the middle didn’t I?” Vin thought he understood now why Buck thought he might not trust him. Hell Buck ought to know better, it wasn’t like it was the first time somebody from one of their pasts had used one of them to get even.

“You did, he wanted...”

“It don’t matter Buck,” Vin cut him off. “I ain’t blaming you for whatever he did, ya ain’t got to torture yourself with the details.”

“You need to know Vin,” Buck insisted, in spite of the fact that telling him was the last thing he wanted.

“No I don’t Buck, just leave it.” Standing up, Vin gave Buck’s shoulder a squeeze as he passed by him. “I’m gonna go check on Peso, and Buck, we’re okay, don’t worry about it.”

Buck watched him go, his eyes filled with amazement and love. “Now what am I gonna do?” he asked them all.

“Ya tried Buck, if he won’t let ya tell him there ain’t nothing you can do about it,” was Chris’ opinion.

“You really think that’ll fly when he finally remembers everything?” Buck asked.

“Ain’t anything else you can do right now Buck, ya can’t force him to listen.”

“You’re wrong, there is one thing I can do,” Buck growled, pushing himself to his feet. “I can find Spencer and make sure he pays for what he did. Right now, that’s the only thing I can do to make any of this right.” Without another word, he stalked out of the house and to his truck.


Outside in the barn, Vin leaned against Peso, his face buried against the horse’s neck. At least now he knew for sure where the soreness he’d been feeling since he’d first gotten to his feet came from. This Spencer fella must’ve raped him, probably made Buck watch. “He ain’t getting away with it Peso,” he vowed. He knew the others wouldn’t want him to leave, especially Chris and Nathan, but there wasn’t any way he was going to let them stop him. He hadn’t been a Ranger and later a bounty hunter for nothing. He’d sneak away from the guys, find David Spencer’s brother and make him pay for what he’d done.

TBC.

Hope y’all liked this chapter. Please review and I’ll try to update soon. I know Vin isn’t stupid but right now he can’t handle the truth, so his mind is supplying another reason, proving that denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.