What If, Nathan&Haley

Part 4

Nathan's Pov

Haley and I were watching a movie in his bed. Or actually I was thinking and Haley was sleeping and the movie was just on. I was rubbing Haley's back softly, she had a rough night. And it was all his fault. Haley cried herself to sleep, she tried to watch the movie, she really did, but she just couldn't. She did not want to talk, so I just put a movie in, and within a half an hour she fell asleep.

I just keep on thinking about what I heard her whisper to herself before. Why don't I want her?
I've wanted her since i've met her. How can she not know that? I got a f'cking hardon for her. I'm not just some perverted guy that gets hardons for anyone, this is Haley we are talking about. My Haley. It breaks me heart to think that she is hurting because of me.

But I just don't understand how she can want me. I am a screw up. No one wants me, not even my father. My mother loves me alot but all she ever does it work. It's like that she wants to forget about her past with Dan, my father, but she can never forget about him because she made me with him. He is apart of me so he is apart of her. So I think that all she ever does is work, because she tries to get him out of her mind. If she hates the man so much then I don't get why she kept me. Don't get me wrong, i'm glad that she did. I"m close with her I am, but I am closer with Uncle Keith and Haley and I just think that if she did not work so much that we'd be more close with eachother.

Anyway enough about my mother. Lucas. Sometimes I wish that he was not such a spoiled rich boy, asshole, because I always wanted a sibling. I mean we both love basketball. I'd kill to get along with him and play basketball with him. I would've loved learning how to play with him. He just has a life that I think that I could've had. He is rich. He has a mother and a father, but there are things he does not have. He does not have my mom or me or even Uncle Keith and he especially does not have Haley.

So I guess I have more then him. He has a bastard father who rides him. Dad tries to live his life and I think that, that is why he acts so tough, but inside all he is, is a scared, lonely, little boy. And I feel sad for him, I mean I am his older brother, and my brother is hurting.

But its not my fault that he shuts me out. Anyway all I complain about is being alone, but really Lucas has no one but maybe his mother. At least I have a mom, a uncle, a best friend that I love, and friends, he has the popular crowd that does not give a shit about him, maybe Tim, but I doubt anyone else does. Sure those chicks, Peytonn and Brooke are popular and he has screwed around with both of them, but he really has no one at all. So maybe even though he is an @$$ to Haley and mom, maybe I should try to be nicer to him? Maybe.


I start to think about Haley again, about all of our fun times together. I can't help but smile at that.


Haley and I are walking down a sidewalk and all of a sudden a bird $hits Haley and my heads. It was so disgusting. You should've saw the look on Haley's face. She squealled like a baby and was screaming, but she could not help but laugh. Ya a bird just $hit on my head and it was disgusting and it smelt bad but all I could remember is the look on her face and that moment. She had the most prettiest smile, and hair, well before the bird crapped all over it. I laugh at the thought.

She looked at me because I was laughing at her and all of a sudden she bent her head over and rubbed the top of her head down and rubbed the bird crap all over my nice shirt. It was nasty. I can't believe that she did that. She saw the look on my face and she new she was in trouble so she ran as fast as she could, which was fast, but not as fast as me because I play basketball. I caught up to her and I pushed her in a near fountain. Don't worry it was not deep or anything. She screamed as loud as she could and squealled again, because the water was freezing cold. She grabbed my bird crapped shirt and pulled me in the water also. And she was right, it was cold.

People were starting to look at us and all we could do was giggle and splash the water like a bunch of kids. That is a memory that it'll never forget about. Anyway we were in a wishing fountain and we had a bird crap on us, and in Italy when a bird craps on you it means good luck so we decided to make a wish. We wished that it'd always be like this, and that is when we made our pack, to never let the popular kids force us to join them and to never date one of them. What a great memory.

I was there for her when she had her first period. Sometime's we sleep together in the same bed and I was there the next morning when she found out she had it.


Haley and I were lying down in my bed sleeping. I had my arms around her. We were hitting puberty. We were almost teenagers. I was growing hair in areas i'd never expect to grow at. Haley was still flatchested and she had not hit puberty yet. She thought that she had a disease or something. Thought that she was a freak show or something. I told her that she was being ridilous. That Haley was a pretty girl and not everyone needed breasts to be pretty.

All of a sudden Haley started to toss and turn and I was worried about her. Was she having a nightmare? I rubbed her back gently.
"Nathannnnnn." Haley whined. I was so sad to hear Haley talk like that, it broke my heart, is there something wrong with her?


"Nathannnnnnnnnnnnn my tummy hurts so bad, I don't feel so good." Haley cried. I rubbed her back somemore.

"Whats wrong Haley? Come on, I'll take you to the bathroom." I said, helping her out of the bed. Right then I new what the problem was. There was blood all over my right side of the bed. If I was not so worried about Hales in pain, i'd probaly crack a joke or vomit or something, but I know that she is probaly embaressed and scared and ill. "Haley its ok, you just hit puberty hun.


"What Nate?" She asked looking at me, I gestured down to the bed and she gasped. She started blushing.

"It's ok Hales, come on, lets go get you cleaned up." I said carrying her to the bathroom. I turn on the warm water and start a bath for her.
She is obviously nervous and scared, so I help her out of her Pajama's . And I lead her to the tub. I help her in and her wash the blood away from her. She had it on her thighs and all over. She obviously was not going to do anything, so it was my job to get her cleaned up. Any boy my age would love to be in my position, I mean there is a naked girl right here in my bathtub with me washing her. Anyway I washed her, and when I mean wash, I mean everywhere, even her private areas. And I help her out of the tub and give her some clothes to sleep in. I help her get dressed and then I go and wake my mother up and explain to her what happend.

Karen came and gave her a pad and told her how to use one and explained that every girl has to go thru this and not to worry. She also gave Haley some advil so that she was not in pain. I changed the sheets while my mother talked with her. And made my bed and then took Haley to bed again and cuddeled with her telling her that it is ok, that I was there for her. When we woke up my mom made Haley her favorite breakfast. Cheese eggs and bacon and also some pancakes. It was Haley's day. Everything had to be perfect.

Now after she got over her pain she teases me that she got her period for the first time in my bed and got my sheets all bloody. I hope that Haley will make love with my for our first time and then it'd be like deja my sheets would be bloody again. I laugh at that thought.


I was there for her most embarressing moment and she was there for mine. She was sleeping in my bed, in my arms when I had my first hardon.


"Nathan stop poking me in the butt." Haley said in her sleep. "NATHAN it is starting to hurt and its getting annoying stop poking me, i'm trying to sleep." Haley said annoyed.

I place my hand down there to my penis, I realize that this was my first erection. I can't help but be proud of myself.
All it took for me to get hard was to have Haley in my arms, and my hands touching her skin. She has the most beautilful silkest skin.

"NATHAN." She screamed and turned around in her sleep, and that made my penis touch her vagina. That turned me on even more.

"OMG Nathan is that what I think it is?" Haley squealled looking down at my pants.

I was blushing. I just nodded.

I watch her bite her lips. I could tell that she wanted to ask me something but was to nervous to what I'd say.

"Can I touch it?" Haley asked. All I did was gulp when she said that and shook my head yes.

She nervously placed her hand on my erection, with nothing but my pants between her hand and my penis. I never felt anything so good before. I start to shake.

"Am I hurting it Nathan?" She asked scared.

I shook my head no and all of a sudden I burst. I cum, while she is touching my penis. I was offially embarressed, but at least I did not have to teach myself how to make my penis soften. I heard about cold showesr, I watch movies. Anyway I was so embarressed, but she never once laughed at me, she said it was ok and she'd never tell anyone about this. And she never did. So I cleaned myself up and went back to bed.

She asked how he got like that. I did not know what to say. I was kinda embaressed. How was I to tell her that she made me like that? I mean she is my best friend ever. I did not tell her and I just made something up and we went back to bed.

I come back from my thoughts when I hear Haley say in her sleep.

"Why don't you want me Nathan?"

I kiss her on the top of her head and said. "Oh but I do want you Haley James, more then you'll ever know."

"I want you to Nathan." Haley said sleepily.

I smile at that, but it made me sad because I new that there is no way in the world that she'd remember saying that to me.

TBC: feed me some love please;)