Somwhere I Belong

Lucas POV

It was an indescribable feeling waking up with Nathan, yesterday morning. I felt at peace, comfortable, and generally content. The first thing I’m aware of is Nathan. He is pressed up against my back, one of his hands slowly roaming up and down my naked body. His fingers wander down my arm, across my hip to my stomach, then lower, to play with the fine hairs below my navel, and my bellybutton piercing. Then lower still, down my leg to my thigh before moving up again.

This time his hand slides over my chest, his thumb brushing over one of my nipples. Then I feel his lips, soft and wet, against the side of my neck. His thumb is back on my nipple, gently rubbing the small nub over and over.

I swallow and close my eyes. I know what he wants. God, what I want, too, and I feel a shiver run through my body in anticipation. I sighed as Nathan's mouth moved over my neck, down to the top of my shoulder. I felt his hardness sliding between my thighs and I shifted slightly, opening my legs just a bit. He slid in further, the head of his cock now pressing gently against my balls. I sighed again, deeper this time, and felt myself begin to harden.

Nathan's lips continued to trail kisses over my shoulder and neck, while his hand left my nipple and slid slowly downward, his fingertips leaving gooseflesh in their wake. Then his hand was between my legs, cupping my balls, lying heavy in their sac. I sucked in a breath and heard him murmur in response as he caressed me, rolling my balls and tugging gently.

Nathan is still moving between my thighs, his cock hot and hard. He changes his angle and I feel him pressing against my opening, as his hand leaves my balls to slide up the length of my cock.

I press back against him with a quiet gasp as he strokes me to full hardness in a matter of seconds. I feel him press against my opening again and my cock leaks precome in response. Nathan's thumb slides through the clear fluid and swirls it around the head of my cock. His breath is hot against my neck and my resolve to wait to make love to this man until he's fully broken up with his pseudo-girlfriend is slipping away with each passing second.

I reach back and cup his ass, pulling him harder against me, my silent invitation to go further. He acknowledges it with a kiss behind my ear and a long, firm stroke of my cock. Then his hand is gone, his body twisting away from me slightly. I barely have time to miss his heat and he’s back, a slick finger sliding down the cleft of my ass.

He eases inside of me, the muscle giving way easily to the invasion of his finger. I have to smile at his careful preparation of me, as a second finger joins the first to stretch me. I'm guessing Nathan is being extra careful for out first time together, and I somehow know he would never take the chance to hurt me. So I simply enjoy the feel of his fingers sliding in and out of my body as much as I can, until he finds that spot that makes me jerk and gasp.

Then his fingers are gone, swiftly replaced by the blunt head of his cock. And I suddenly become anxious. Part of me thinks things between us are moving too fast, but the other part feels that this is right. That first sensation of Nathan entering me, as the head of his cock slides in, stretching me, filling me…god, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

So Nathan stretches out the moment as long as possible, giving me as much pleasure as he can. He pushes in slowly, god, so slowly, and I feel just the tip breach my body. I bite my lip to keep from crying out as Nathan pushes in again, and the rest of the head of his cock slides inside me.

God it’s good, so good… I know I’ll never get tired of feeling Nathan inside me, my body stretching around him. I grope for his hand and we entwine our fingers, laying them against my chest, over my heart. I'm shocked to find that it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, but I guess practicing with my secret dildo really helps.

Then Nathan's hips are moving, pressing in a bit more, before sliding back until just the tip of his cock remains inside me. He repeats this over and over, each time pushing further and further inside me. His strokes are slow and steady, and each one drives me higher and higher.

By the time he slides his full length inside me my breath is coming in short pants and Nathan's head is buried in my neck. My heart is pounding against our hands and I can feel Nathan's pounding against my back.

I’m rock hard and leaking more precome and Nathan just keeps up his long, slow strokes. I'm love this. I love that I can feel every. Single. Inch of him when he goes this slow. He’s so hot and hard inside me, pressing deeper and deeper.

I whimper and Nathan untangles his fingers from mine, reaching between my legs to finally take me in hand. I again bite my lip as he starts stroking me in time with his own thrusts.

The slow pace is maddening, but I don’t want it any other way. I give myself over to the sensations Nathan is creating in my body, lying safe in his arms, knowing I can fall apart and he’ll be there. Always.

I imagine Nathan and I in a different position. He is straddling my hips, riding me. His hands are on my chest, his head thrown back in ecstasy. My hands are running in slow movements down his smooth chest as he impales himself over and over onto my cock.

I can’t help the small moan that escapes my lips at my fantasy and I feel myself throb in Nathan's grasp. His fingers tighten around me and I buck my hips forward then back. I feel and hear Nathan's answering groan against my skin and I know we’re reaching our breaking point.

Sure enough, Nathan's thrusts get harder and I’m pressing back to meet them. Just as his rhythm starts to falter, he hits that spot inside me once, twice and I start to shake. The third time is both our undoing.

I hear Nathan whisper, “Oh God...Lucas,” then he’s coming, his cock pulsing deep inside me over and over, filling me with slick, wet heat. I feel him shaking with the intensity of his orgasm.

His climax isn’t even over when I feel mine overtake me, as Nathan continues to stroke my cock. I gasp out his name as my orgasm races through me and I bathe his hand in thick, white ropes of my semen. My cock throbs again and again until I’m spent, panting and boneless. Nathan gently massages my cock, coaxing out every last drop, as we both tremble through the aftershocks of our release.

Nathan lets go of my softening cock and I know he’s licking his hand clean.

His hand comes back spotless, resting on my chest, fingers rubbing gently against my skin, soothing in their rhythm. His lips are back on my neck, placing soft, lazy kisses there.

I smile as I drift back off to sleep, Nathan still inside me, and I dream the usual fantasies about he and I.

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I wake again to find that it's bordering on eleven-thirty a.m. The only proof given that what happened between Nathan and I wasn't a dream, is the fact that I can still feel him inside me. Nathan's body shifts, and I look over my shoulder to see Nathan's beautiful blue eyes staring back at me.

"Hey."

"Hi." I respond.

"How are you feeling?" He asks quietly.

"A little sore, but fine." I say honestly.

"Look, I know you said that you wanted to wait until we had sex until you and I were fully a couple, but I couldn't help myself. I should have respected your wishes and I didn't...I'm sorry."

I shift my body so that I feel his cock slip out of me, giving me the opportunity to lay on my back to better see him, while he's on his side looking down at me. I can practically see the turmoil going on in his head.

"Nathan, listen to me very carefully, okay?"

He nods in affirmation.

"If I really didn't want to have sex with you, I would have told you to stop."

"But you said you wanted to wait. And I wanted it to be perfect for you, but I let my urges take control."

"I guess you can say I did the same. I usually dream about the two of us getting all hot and heavy every night. When I woke up to your ministrations, and realized that my dreams could become a reality, I let it, cause I wanted it." I say as I grasp his hand into mine and entwine our fingers, "And it was perfect for me."

"But you wanted to wait." Nathan repeated.

"I know. But what's done is done, and I have no regrets. Do you?"

"No." He said immediately as Nathan dipped down to press his lips to mine, it was chaste for a moment, gentle, but present, an affirmation of an attraction that was mutual. Nathan raised his right hand to cradle my head and neck, angling to deepen the kiss. When I moaned, it was all the incentive Nathan needed and he brought me closer, prying my mouth open with his tongue to trace the inner contours of my lips slowly. Every move Nathan made was slow, deliberate, calculated, but also instinctual.

Nathan ravished my mouth, establishing dominance in the pressure of his lips, the dig of his teeth, and the roll of his tongue. He stole the breath from my lungs and swallowed down the throaty sound I made when Nathan sucked on my bottom lip and bit it red before sliding his tongue over the imprint that he left there.

Nathan broke the kiss to see his handiwork, and looked sheepishly at me, "Sorry...got carried away for a bit."

"And I am in no way complaining." I assure him.

He and I spent the whole day in bed, with the exception of dealing with out biological needs, such as using the bathroom and eating, but we always ended up back in bed. We talked about a great many things, and one of the topics that came up was college. We both revealed that we were both going to attend Boston University together. We both decided to make plans concerning college, and decided that sometime after graduation, we would look and see what the housing situation is like there, and if possible, see what we can do about making sure we're each other's roommates.

A lot would say that Nathan and I are moving too fast as a couple. After Nathan made love to me, I realized that every couple is different in the sense of finding that harmony and contentment with their partner. For some couples, it takes time, for others, like Nathan and I, that harmony and instant connection is immediate. Of course it did take Nathan and I a while before finally coming together...uh...no pun intended. And we were pining for one another for quite some time, which only added to the intensity of the relationship...and yes, I am willing to admit I'm in a relationship with Nathan, even though he is technically someone else’s boyfriend, regardless of the fact that there is clearly no future between Nathan and Peyton.

Watching Nathan, I can't help but think about what would've happened if we got the courage to get together years ago. Somehow I doubt he and I would have made it. There would have been far too many obstacles between us to make it work. How his friends would have taken the news of their basketball star being in a gay relationship, or if Nathan would have gone to great lengths to hide it, resulting in me being tired of the constant hiding, leaving us to break up with each other. Then there's his father...doubt daddy dearest would be happy to have a queer son. Nathan's father's interference would also strain the relationship.

I guess the saying is true: Things happen for a reason. We are at a point in time where peer pressure, and his friends' approval won't mean much since graduation is just around the corner, and the chance of seeing them again is slim to none, except for high school reunions. And hiding the relationship won't be so bad since, once again, the end of high school is near. And as for Dan Scott...well, Nathan's old enough to survive without daddy's purse strings, and he's able to make his own decisions. If all goes according to plan, Nathan will never have to depend on Dan ever again, and the first step was obtaining that scholarship.

"Can I ask you something?" Nathan whispered into my ear as he's holding me close to him.

"Sure"

"If I was able to get a scholarship, how come you didn't? I mean god knows you deserve one. You're wicked smart."

"I was offered one, but I saw no reason to have it since I've already accumulated enough money to pay my way, so I turned it down. I figured they could give that scholarship to someone who really needs it."

"But aren't you worried about not having enough money for tuition?"

"No. Besides, my mom has been putting money aside in a college fund she thinks I don't know about. Not to mention that her boyfriend, Andy, is the richest guy in Tree Hill, and I'm sure he'll help with the expenses, which means I'll be well taken care of, with extra money to spare."

"Nice." Nathan chuckles.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why is your dad so desperate on you getting a scholarship? Doesn't he have enough money to pay for tuition?"

"He does. But he's like Scrooge, and would rather keep the money he would have to pay for tuition. He only spends money on himself."

"So in other words...he's greedy."

"Yep."

"That's sad."

"That's my dad."

"But how do you get your clothes and your other material possessions?"

"My mom."

"Ah."

Nathan tries to stay with me as long as possible, before he has to reluctantly go home, and before my mom gets home...if she does. I can tell it's painful for him to leave, but I have to simply remind him that it won't be long before they can be together without anything standing in the way, and I can tell that gives him hope.

Nathan's POV

Yesterday had to have been the best day I have every had. Not only did I get to fall asleep and wake up with the man of my dreams, but also got to make love to Lucas as well. I still feel guilty for not waiting until I broke it off with Peyton, which is definitely on my to-do list today, but Lucas assures me that it was okay, despite the fact that we have yet to cement our relationship, which is another task on my list. And what's even better, Dan was nowhere to be found when I got home, instead, he left a note saying that he was away on business for a couple days, to which I'm sure the phone call I got from him on Saturday was about. I'm fairly confident that this 'business' has nothing to do with work. My guess is that he's either boning some chick, in which case, I feel so sorry for the poor woman that ends up getting fucked by him, or he's taken yet another trip to Duke to ensure my enrollment there is secure.

Just then, another thought hit me while I was driving to school. If Dan finds out that I plan on going to Boston in the fall with the aid of the scholarship they gave me, he'll use his influence to take said scholarship away from me, thus me being forced to go to Duke. Maybe Lucas might have an idea on how to remedy this problem.

I park in my usual parking space, and there like the vultures they are, are my friends. I quickly put on a scowl, indicating that I'm not in the mood for socializing, and can pass it off as more of Dan's annoyances. Since they know my father well enough, they understand and don't ask questions anymore. They instead stick to having their own conversations while following me to my locker. As I'm getting the books needed for my morning classes, I go over the list of things to do today in my head:

1) Break up with Peyton.

2) Make my relationship with Lucas permanent.

3) Talk to Lucas about alternate tuition solutions.

4) Call BU from Lucas' place to determine the cost of tuition should I lose my scholarship. (Cause I'll be damned if Dan finds out my college plans prematurely through the phone bill)

5) Talk about summer plans.

6) Sex with Lucas.

By the time I get the necessities for my morning classes, I see my friends have dispersed, with exception to Peyton. Good. Time to get item number one checked off my list. Without a word I drag her into the janitor's closet. I'm determined to see this through.

"Wow, I didn't see this coming, but okay." Peyton says as I close the door behind us. I'm pretty certain she thinks we're going to get in a quick make-out session before first period starts, and according to my watch, will begin in fifteen minutes. Plenty of time.

"This isn't what you think." I immediately say as she leans forward to kiss me, and stop her before she succeeds.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I didn't bring you here to make-out with you." I say rather bluntly.

"What? Then why drag me in here?"

"To break up with you, " I say, then as an afterthought, "one last time."

"Oh, come on Nathan, you know that this is standard routine with us, right? We break up, saying this is the last time, then get back together a few days later. Sorry babe, but it's how we're wired. What reason is it this time?"

"You want an honest answer to that question?"

She is apparently taken back by my question, and her body language is telling me that she would rather not here my response.

"You mean you haven't been honest with me before?"

"Not really. But I know why we kept coming back to each other."

"Why?"

"Because we were too scared to completely end it. Come on Peyton, we're not happy with each other. You and I are together, simply out of convenience, nothing more. We're stuck in a vicious cycle of fighting and fucking, and I'm tired of it. And how are we going to stay together after high school, we'll be at the opposite ends of the country. Plus, even you have to admit, this was a long time coming."

I watch Peyton absorb my words. Even though my words are a bit harsher than I'd like, they are necessary if I'm going to make sure this is the final break-up between us.

"Look, I'm not trying to be mean here, Peyton. I'm just trying to bring a bit of reality into the situation. If we were a functioning couple, and that we truly loved one another, then I wouldn't let the distance affect us. And I would do anything I can to make sure we stayed together."

"You don't love me?"

"Can you honestly say you love me?"

Her silence told me no, which was anticipated.

"I did love you at one point, but it was a long time ago." I said quietly and sincerely.

"You're really serious about this being the last break up ever, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Peyton sits down on the chair that's in the closet with us, contemplating my words. After a few minutes of silence, I decide to be truthful about something else.

"There is one more thing I think you should know, and remember, this isn't to hurt you...just the truth...I'm gay."

"What?"

"I'm gay." I repeat.

"But you obviously didn't have any problems while we had sex."

"That's because I had to think of a guy to stay hard so you wouldn't know something's wrong."

"You're fucking with me aren't you?"

"No. Think about it, why is it that every time we've fucked, it's been doggie style?"

I can see when it all clicks in Peyton's head, she's got the whole goldfish expression down perfectly.

"Oh my god."

"Yep."

"You're really gay?"

"Afraid so."

"Wow."

"It was a shocker with me too when I found out."

"But if you aren't into me sexually, why the ruse?"

"Hi...have you met my dad?"

"Good point."

I see her fidgeting in her seat, and I have a feeling she's going to start asking some pretty embarrassing questions regarding my sexuality.

"So...is there anyone in this school you're attracted to, you know, some guy you had to think of to keep hard while fucking me from behind?" Peyton grins.

And it begins. Though I should be grateful that she's handling this pretty well. Not only has she accepted the fact that there is and never will be an 'us' anymore, but took the news of my true sexual orientation better than hoped.

"Actually, there is."

"It's Tim, right?"

"Oh god, no...hell no!"

"Is is anyone I know?"

"Not really. You'd actually be surprised who it is."

"Who?"

"Lucas Roe."

"Who's that?"

"You know the 6'1" Goth kid?"

"Oh, I know who you're talking about. You know, he's kinda cute. But I wouldn't have said anything cause..."

"Our friends wouldn't understand, I know." I said completely understanding.

"Yeah. Wow, Lucas, huh? When did that happen?"

"Actually, I became attracted to him a couple years ago. After being paired with him for the senior project this weekend, and learning so much more about him, I figured I'm going to see if we can try a relationship." Which is a half truth, since a relationship has already started so to speak, and she doesn’t need to know we've already had sex, and if I follow through with my to-do list, there will be more sex with Lucas later today.

"That's cool. But wait, if you do start a relationship with him, are you going to do the whole long distance thing with him?"

"We won't have to. He and I are going to the same college, and I'm hoping we'll be roommates."

"He's going to Duke as well?"

"Yeah." I lied. The less anyone knows about my Boston plans the better. Can't have it somehow inadvertently leak back to Dan. It's not that I don't trust her, but...okay, I don't trust her enough to tell her about Boston.

"Well good, luck with him, Nate." Peyton got up and hugged me. Relief fills my whole being at being to end things with Peyton without her hating me. Something tells me that we're better off as friends anyway. We leave the closet as soon as the warning bell rings, and I jog to my first class.

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It's lunch time and I'm desperate and excited to speak to Lucas, and tell him of the newest developments thus far. I spot him and his friend Glenda alone at a far table in the courtyard. During my time with him, he told me all about Glenda, and her disgust with the popular kids. It may be hard for her to believe, but I know exactly where she's coming from, despite being the king of the popular kids in this school. And because of her disgust for my 'kind', I'm not sure how much Lucas has told her about Lucas and me...Lucas and I, sorry. Maybe if I go over there in the guise of wanting to discuss the senior project, she won't get suspicious...too much, and I won't blurt anything out that Lucas doesn't want Glenda to know.

"Lucas." I say as I approach the duo.

Lucas turns to me and instantly smiles, and I can't help but return the gesture.

"May I?" I point to an available seat next to him.

"Of course!" Lucas' enthusiasm is infectious, and my smile gets bigger.

"Wow, you weren't kidding, were you?" Glenda asks Lucas, who shook his head no.

"What?" I ask.

"I told her about us."

"Really?" I ask Lucas.

"Well no, she kinda figured it out on her own, when I vaguely told her about our project."

"Wow." "I say, then turn to Glenda, "So how to you feel about us being together?"

"Whoa, wait a minute, you aren't denying being all romantic and shit with Lucas?" Glenda obviously thought that I would deny my time spent with Lucas, and there was no way I could.

"And I'm not denying the sex either." I smirk, as her eyes go wide.

"Oooh...I wasn't going to tell her that." Lucas spoke. I guess my plan to not blurt out information that Lucas didn't want Glenda to know, went up in smoke.

"You had sex?!" Glenda exclaimed.

"Ssshhh." Lucas tries to quite her down.

"Sorry," Glenda apologizes, then leans forward and whispers, "You had sex?!"

"Yes." Lucas answers reluctantly.

"But I thought you and Peyton were together...again." Glenda stressed the last word.

"We broke up." I tell her.

"Really?" Lucas and Glenda ask in unison.

"Yeah."

"Now is this a quick break-up and make-up thing, or is it a more permanent deal?" Glenda questions.

"This is a definite permanent deal." I answer.

"So..." Lucas starts.

"So...if you'll have me, I'll be your very own personal snuggle bunny." I chuckle.

"I think that could be arranged." Lucas says.

We're both staring intently at one another, and I just want to kiss him right here in front of everyone, not caring who sees, but my more rational side decides to wait until I have Lucas alone.

"Well, one of the reasons I came over was to inform you of my status with Peyton."

"And the other?" Lucas asks.

"In the excitement of yesterdays...activities," I leered at Lucas, who blushed in response, ",I forgot about the senior project."

"Don't worry, I have everything."

"Oh thank god." I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"What, worried you'd fail?" Glenda asked.

"Well yeah, but, I'm just not used to knowing someone who I can count on. I'm surrounded by people who would sooner save their own asses, than be dependable."

"I can understand that." Glenda said.

"Listen...is it alright if I stay at your place for a couple of days? My dad's gone, and I really don't feel like staying at my house alone." I ask my new found boyfriend.

"Sure."

"Nice. Also, there some other things we need to talk about."

"What things?"

"College."

"Yeah, okay. Do you want to follow me home after school?"

"Sure. I'll be right on your tail." I grin at the innuendo.

Glenda snorts, "I bet you will."

Lucas has such an adorable blush, in my opinion.

A/N: One more chapter left. I'm writing chapter 5 right now, and hope to have it posted by next week.