Deceptions, Lies, and Butterflies

Inside the plane’s cabin John Locke sat in his seat, the one beside him empty. It was the seat he had purchased for Helen, no, Stacy. While he was still excited about the trip he was about to take, he was saddened to think Stacy was not going to join him. Who had he been kidding? Why would some relatively complete stranger want to take a trip with him? They had never met, after all. He had just hoped... It was why he had sent her the ticket. In case she changed her mind. 'You're an idiot,' He thought morosely. Sitting with his arm resting on the armrest, he propped his chin on his hand. He didn't notice the woman standing in the aisle beside him as a rugged gentleman helped her with her baggage.

Melissa thanked Mr. Stud Muffin for stowing her luggage and looked at the man sitting a few seats away, deciding that he was John Locke. The empty seat beside him that bore her seat assignment confirmed this. He looked sad and she wondered if it was because he had assumed Stacy wasn't coming. Behind the sadness was something else; something she couldn't put her finger on. She figured she had 12 hours to learn all she could about him. She cleared her throat, put on her best smile and said, "Hello John.”

John glanced up when he heard his name. An immediate smile crossed his face. "Stacy?" he said. 'Well who else would know your name?' Surprised she had come he realized how rude he must have appeared staring at her. Bringing himself back to his senses, he held out his hand. "I'm so glad you came." His heart was pounding as he studied her. She wasn't the most beautiful woman he had seen, but certainly was easy on the eyes. "Please, sit down," he finally said.

Her right hand was full of items, so Melissa took John’s with her left, feeling both a power and warmth, and sat down beside him. She was relieved to find that he did have a kind face. His eyes, a wonderful shade of green, held a variety of emotions. There was both a gentleness and an intensity at the same time; pride mixed with something else – regret, perhaps? He wasn’t Mr. Stud Muffin, but there was something about him that made her continue to hold his hand even after she sat down.

John noticed Melissa continued to hold his hand, even when she was seated. Warmth spread over him. Was it possible she really was attracted to him? After all, they were still basically two complete strangers meeting for the first time. He realized he had not taken his eyes off her and quickly averted them. "I didn't think you were coming," he said quietly.

“I almost didn’t.” Melissa wanted to be as honest with him as she could. She carefully composed her words. “John, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never gone away with a man, much less one I’ve never met.”

Bringing his attention back to his companion, John could hear the hesitancy in her voice. "That makes two of us," he said gently. "I'm not sure what possessed me to purchase the second ticket," he continued. "It was just a spur of the moment decision." He had glanced down and realized they were still holding hands. Looking back up, he searched Melissa's face.

Melissa wondered if he could read the deception in her. She pushed those thoughts down and quietly replied, “I’m glad I’m here, John.”

"I'm glad, too, Helen," John stated and immediately realized what he had done. His face flushing a bright red, he glanced away. "My apologies. I suppose I should be calling you Stacy, now." He forced himself to look back at her.

Melissa’s heart sank at his words. She looked down at his hand still entwined with hers. What was she doing? This man wanted someone else with him, not her. He wanted Stacy. No, he wanted Helen. Either way, she was neither woman. Suddenly she realized exactly what she was doing. Up until now she had only thought about how the trip would affect her. She felt sick at the thought that she was more like Stacy than she had ever imagined. She hadn’t even considered what it meant to him for her to be there, for him to think that Stacy was there with him. She was worse than Stacy ever thought about being. At least with Stacy men knew what they were getting. As she fought back tears she sensed he was waiting for a response. Not knowing what to say she simply asked, “Who’s Helen?”

At first John was confused and then he realized Melissa wasn't asking why he was calling her Helen but why he had chosen that name. Stacy never had questioned the choice in names before but he wasn't surprised she enquired now. However, John had noticed the tears in her eyes. Was it possible she really did have feelings for him after all? And here he was calling her the name of his former lover. He couldn't help feeling guilty. "She's...it's just a name...I always liked.” It wasn’t a complete lie and how could he admit to her it was more?

Melissa looked in his eyes and saw the hurt in them. “John please tell me who Helen is. I know that she is more than just a name.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I just… I want to know. Please.” Mentally she added, ‘Anything to get your mind off of Stacy.’

Looking away, John sighed. He supposed it was inevitable she'd want to know and it was only fair that he be honest. He had been calling her Helen for all those months and was bound to slip up again. "She was... she was someone I knew several years ago," John finally started. "I thought she was the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with... I guess I was wrong." He now glanced back at their clasped hands. He was actually surprised she was still holding his hand and felt somewhat comforted, while also still feeling guilty for bringing up Helen. "I guess it's time to get over her," he said sheepishly, lifting his gaze once more.

Before Melissa could respond the flight attendants started their safety spiel as the airplane taxied down the runway. She was grateful for the distraction. She wondered what had happened between John and Helen but didn’t feel like she should ask. He could have volunteered more but he hadn’t. What would it be like to be so in love with someone only to have it fall apart? Was there something he had done to cause Helen to leave or had it been something she had done? Had she left because of his condition? That brought up even more questions about why he was in a wheelchair in the first place. Had he always been that way? How much was she supposed to already know? She was further reminded of the mistake she was making by being here.

Soon she felt the soaring feeling that she loved so much as the plane lifted in to the air. Even though she had released John’s hand to buckle her seatbelt, she noticed that he had taken it once more. It should have felt awkward, but it didn’t. It felt… good. Guilt washed over her once again. He wasn’t holding hands with her; he was holding hands with Stacy, someone with whom he had had intimate conversations for the past eight months. Melissa had spent three days figuring out how to make this trip happen. Now she had 12 hours to figure out how to get out of it and get back home. This man deserved so much more than the lies she was offering to him. One look in his eyes told her that. She whispered to him, “John I’m sorry I’m not…” She couldn’t finish. She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t Stacy.

John just barely heard her words over the plane's engines; however he did hear and turned to face her. He knew she wasn't Helen. Deep down he had always known that, even if he had always pictured the real Helen when he had spoken with Stacy on the phone. "It's okay, Stacy," he replied.

Melissa knew he probably thought she was apologizing for not being Helen. She heard his words but it wasn’t okay. She didn’t want to argue about it. Instead she turned the conversation back to him as she brought up the reason for his trip – the walkabout. The excitement in his voice was apparent, as he proceeded to describe his journey. For him this was his dream vacation.

It seemed that before either knew it, they were preparing to land in Sydney. Melissa was tired and knew she would later wish that she had slept on the plane, but their conversation had come easily and naturally. She loved talking to John, listening to not only what he had to say but also just the sound of his voice. It had a soothing quality. She again felt anger toward Stacy for charging him so much more than her other clients. She felt that Stacy had taken advantage of him when he deserved so much more than to be treated that way. She decided that rather than try to find a way back home she would stay with him and be the person he wanted her to be. She would be Stacy. Perhaps that would in some small way make up for the way Stacy had taken advantage of him.

*****

They were the last to disembark. There was a special chair the airline had to assist John and then, for the first time, Melissa saw him in his wheelchair. When they had been on the plane she hadn’t thought of his disability much at all. She didn’t know if she should walk beside him or push the chair or what. What was the protocol in a situation like this?

John had been a bit embarrassed when he had to be assisted into first the airline wheelchair and then his own. He knew that Stacy was aware of his disability, after all he had told her about it on the phone. None-the-less, he still felt awkward any time someone had to assist him, even after four years. Not only that, this time it was in front of Stacy. Pushing the feelings aside, he noticed that Melissa seemed to be feeling a bit awkward and unsure of what to do next. His bag had been hung on the back of his wheelchair and he saw that she was set as well. Smiling, John put his hands on either wheel before saying, "Shall we go get our luggage?"